Posts7

There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you, in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it. A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?' 'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.' 'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you… Read more

A man is about to jump off London Bridge when he hears a voice behind him. It's Santa Claus. "Why do this..? It's Christmas Eve..?" Santa says. "Because I've lost my job, " the man answered, " my wife has left me, and I have no presents for the k**s." "Ah, Haa.. I can grant you 3 wishes, " replied Santa, "So when you get up tomorrow your job will be there, your wife will be waiting for you, and there'll be presents for the c***dren." "Oh Santa - however can I repay you..?" gasped the man. "Well - not a lot of people know this, " came the reply, "But good old Santa here is Ga… Read more

Two deaf people got married. During the first week of marriage, they found they were unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn the lights off because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time." The husband thinks this is a great idea… Read more

Debbie checked into a hotel on her 40th birthday & she was lonely. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised for escorts & sensual massages." She looked through the phone book,found a full page ad for a guy calling himself "Tender Tony" - a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. I'll give him a call. "Good evening, how may I help you?" Oh my, he sounded so sexy! Afraid she would lose her nerve, she rushed right in, "I hear you give a great massage, I'd like you to come to my hotel ro… Read more

A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps.. He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt. As they walked through the ape exhibit, They passed in front of a large, silverblack gorilla. Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy. He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and two feet he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny. He suggested that his wife… Read more

Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married: The other night I was invited out for a night with the "girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bi (t loaded, I headed for home. Just ...............as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realising my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to esca… Read more