Odds and Ends and Gay Men
After the incident where I was rapde by the three men in the parking lot at The Grotto bar, I was depressed, filled with rage at many times, and quite fearful about having something similar happen. Once something terrible occurs, I think human nature dictates that we think back and realize how many times such events could have happened before, and how lucky we have been that most of our careless moves have been "no harm, no foul" situations.
I quit going anywhere except when I had a posse with me, and dialed-down on my motel room, Adult Friend Finder, and Craigslist promiscuity encounters for quite a while, close to three months. Eventually, however, that little button, i.e. the prostate, inside me had coiled into a tight spring, ready and anxious to erupt. Whether I am a typical transgender girl or not, I don't know, but the truth is that I need male attention on a regular basis both for psychological and physical release. It wasn't quite as blatant as some of the xhamster memes, but in reality the truth is that when you're addicted to cock, you're addicted to cock, and addicts will do almost anything to satisfy the craving!
I also continued to want to be more careful, and decided that instead of hanging around alternative bars I should stick to online dating, and should only fuck guys who could entertain me at their place. No more picking-up strange men at bars and being at their mercy because I'd been stupid enough to get into their vehicle or let them into my home. As I joked to one of my trans friends, limiting my activities to people who could be tracked electronically would at least ensure that if I wound up being tortured, murdered and dismembered by the latter-day equivalent of John Wayne Gacy, at least it wouldn't take forty years for the police to apprehend the villain.
I took to perusing the ads on Gay Websites, as well as those which cater to transgender girls. First, there are probably about ten times as many gay men as transgenders, and second, since being gay is almost acceptable nowadays, there were a lot more men who were interested in men than men interested in trans. I cam across a personal ad which stated that two gay men in a small city in western Pennsylvania were looking for a gay bottom playmate. I replied, and specified that I was basically a M2F transgender person, but that I was a total bottom, and that I had a very good athletic physique. I attached several photos to verify the last point. I was actually surprised that the two men replied, but they said that they liked my photos, and I seemed to have "potential." They were concerned, however, that they really weren't interested in transgender persons, and weren't sure if there would be interest on their part. They emphasized that they were supportive of my interests, and my orientation, but that it wasn't something they felt was of interest to their tastes. The final paragraph, however, said that maybe I would meet with them when I was in male presentation, and we could see how things worked out when we discussed possibilities of the situation with them directly.
Bearing in mind that I was in a face-in-the-pillow/ass-in-the air mindset I don't know how I restrained myself from accepting the "male presentation" stipulation, but I didn't. I replied that I appreciated their mindset, but that I was not a Gay Man and didn't feel comfortable presenting as one. I said that I would arrive wearing Boy-style clothes, including all underwear (no lingerie), but would wear makeup, wig and earrings. They agreed, and after these negotiations worthy of Panmunjom or Paris during the Vietnam or Korean Wars, we set up at the next Saturday as a date when I'd visit their home.
I arrived about the stipulated time, and the house checked-out with the Mapquest satellite photos, and all of that stuff, so I was almost 100% confident that I was entering a safe environment, and that made me feel better. It was a medium sized, 1950'ish ranch-style home on an ordinary suburban plot of ground, and I parked my car in the driveway and walked up to the door. The two men were also pretty much as advertised. They were both in their late 40's or early 50's, and pretty much medium-medium-medium. The first, Joe, was a couple of inches shorter than my five foot eleven, and a bit heavier than my hundred fifty-five, and the second, Charlie, was taller than me and quite thin. They both had male pattern baldness, mustaches, and short beards. I was a little nervous, of course, so we sat down and chatted a while over a bottle of red wine.
After we had each finished a glass of wine, one of them, cannot remember which, asked me if I would feel comfortable getting naked. I said something to the effect that was the reason I was there, and they proceeded to strip down to their essentials. I went into the bathroom to disrobe, so that I could get preserve the coif of my wig, my earrings, and the state of my makeup as best possible. I privately cursed the fact that I had agreed not to carry a purse, which would have contained my femme accessories maintenance gear.
So, anyway, I came out of the bathroom and discovered Joe and Charlie making out with each other, and they invited me to join them. Pretty soon we were all French kissing, and running hands over nipples, buttocks, inner thighs, and other erogenous zones. Joe, I think, whispered into my ear that he bet I'd love to suck his cock, and he was speaking the truth. For a guy who couldn't have been taller than five foot nine, he had a really big cock, and it was hard and tumescent. Being a submissive slut when I'm in the mood to be fucked, I said nothing, but merely leaned over and took the glans penis in my mouth. I heard him moan, and then felt one of them insert a lubed finger into my pussy. I slide to my knees, positioned myself between Joe's knees, and started to suck on his cock and balls. Charlie was playing with my penis and ass at the time, and rimming me, too. I'm not really sure how long I sucked on Joe, I do know that my jaws started to get tired, but he pushed my head back, slid aside, and let Charlie sit in his place. I was surprised that Charlie's cock was even larger, and that he was more aggressive in sticking his cock into my throat and controlling my head with his hands. I choked a few times, producing massive amounts of saliva, and during the process felt that one of them,it had to be Joe if I was sucking Charlie's big cock, was applying KY Jelly lube to my ass. KY is a bit cool, maybe even cold,out of the tube, and I figured that was the prelude to cock being inserted.
"You want the cock, don't you?" I heard Joe ask, and I mumbled back in the affirmative as Charlie's big cock in my mouth made articulated speech almost impossible. Joe did a nice, competent job of setting his cock in me, no premature lunges, no impetuous thrusts, just a nice, slow insertion until he had most of his manhood inside me. I remember that it felt wonderful to be double-teamed front and back, and looking back realize that I hadn't yet heard the term spit-roasted by that juncture in my life. Joe fucked me for about five to seven minutes, pulled-out, and he and Charlie switched places. This continued for several occasions, sort of a form of Edging on their part, and it was probably the most exhausting fucking I've ever received. I wasn't keeping time, but I know that I was continuously fucked for more than an hour, by which time I was clawing holes in the upholstery of the couch where the event was occurring. For some reason, I wasn't myself able to get over the top, and I wanted to cum so badly, but couldn't produce an orgasm. Even playing with my cock,which tends to become tiny when I'm being fucked couldn't do the trick. Finally, one of the two guys pulled off his condom, asked me if I wanted it in my mouth or on my body, and then fired several thick, ropy strands of cum onto my tongue and lips and throat. Then, the other redoubled his pace on my ass to an almost frantic level and although I couldn't see him, I felt his orgasm deep inside me even tho' he was wearing a condom.
I was desperate to have my own orgasm by then, and when they had finished, and were lying back on the couch, on was able to rub the tip of my penis between my thumb and finger, similar to the way a Cis gender woman will masturbate her clitoris, and came in copious amounts on my belly and thighs.
We finished the wine, and I put on my clothes and left, and have never seen either of them since.
It was an amazing experience in a physical way, but also emotionally unsatisfying. As a Trans girl, I am psychologically more like a Cis gender woman than a man, and in a disquieting way I felt that Joe and Charlie had used me as a cum-dump for their male lust, in a way that was remindful of the attitude evinced by the three men who rapde me. It's not exactly a scientifically valid experiment, but I really do believe that there is a significant difference between Gay and Trans with respect to the emotional responses which sex evokes. I remember when 'Brokeback Mountain' was a sensation in movie theaters, and my ex-wife coming back from watching it and being shaken, not because of the concept of men having sex, but at what she described as the a****listic physicality of it. I've never watched the movie, so I cannot speak to the accuracy of her perception. But, I did feel objectivized by the experience with Joe and Charlie.
Maybe it was too soon after the incident when I was gang-rapde to be fooling around with multiple partners, but after this experience I quit browsing on gay websites, and haven't had another encounter with a gay male who doesn't also identify himself as being interested in Trans.
I quit going anywhere except when I had a posse with me, and dialed-down on my motel room, Adult Friend Finder, and Craigslist promiscuity encounters for quite a while, close to three months. Eventually, however, that little button, i.e. the prostate, inside me had coiled into a tight spring, ready and anxious to erupt. Whether I am a typical transgender girl or not, I don't know, but the truth is that I need male attention on a regular basis both for psychological and physical release. It wasn't quite as blatant as some of the xhamster memes, but in reality the truth is that when you're addicted to cock, you're addicted to cock, and addicts will do almost anything to satisfy the craving!
I also continued to want to be more careful, and decided that instead of hanging around alternative bars I should stick to online dating, and should only fuck guys who could entertain me at their place. No more picking-up strange men at bars and being at their mercy because I'd been stupid enough to get into their vehicle or let them into my home. As I joked to one of my trans friends, limiting my activities to people who could be tracked electronically would at least ensure that if I wound up being tortured, murdered and dismembered by the latter-day equivalent of John Wayne Gacy, at least it wouldn't take forty years for the police to apprehend the villain.
I took to perusing the ads on Gay Websites, as well as those which cater to transgender girls. First, there are probably about ten times as many gay men as transgenders, and second, since being gay is almost acceptable nowadays, there were a lot more men who were interested in men than men interested in trans. I cam across a personal ad which stated that two gay men in a small city in western Pennsylvania were looking for a gay bottom playmate. I replied, and specified that I was basically a M2F transgender person, but that I was a total bottom, and that I had a very good athletic physique. I attached several photos to verify the last point. I was actually surprised that the two men replied, but they said that they liked my photos, and I seemed to have "potential." They were concerned, however, that they really weren't interested in transgender persons, and weren't sure if there would be interest on their part. They emphasized that they were supportive of my interests, and my orientation, but that it wasn't something they felt was of interest to their tastes. The final paragraph, however, said that maybe I would meet with them when I was in male presentation, and we could see how things worked out when we discussed possibilities of the situation with them directly.
Bearing in mind that I was in a face-in-the-pillow/ass-in-the air mindset I don't know how I restrained myself from accepting the "male presentation" stipulation, but I didn't. I replied that I appreciated their mindset, but that I was not a Gay Man and didn't feel comfortable presenting as one. I said that I would arrive wearing Boy-style clothes, including all underwear (no lingerie), but would wear makeup, wig and earrings. They agreed, and after these negotiations worthy of Panmunjom or Paris during the Vietnam or Korean Wars, we set up at the next Saturday as a date when I'd visit their home.
I arrived about the stipulated time, and the house checked-out with the Mapquest satellite photos, and all of that stuff, so I was almost 100% confident that I was entering a safe environment, and that made me feel better. It was a medium sized, 1950'ish ranch-style home on an ordinary suburban plot of ground, and I parked my car in the driveway and walked up to the door. The two men were also pretty much as advertised. They were both in their late 40's or early 50's, and pretty much medium-medium-medium. The first, Joe, was a couple of inches shorter than my five foot eleven, and a bit heavier than my hundred fifty-five, and the second, Charlie, was taller than me and quite thin. They both had male pattern baldness, mustaches, and short beards. I was a little nervous, of course, so we sat down and chatted a while over a bottle of red wine.
After we had each finished a glass of wine, one of them, cannot remember which, asked me if I would feel comfortable getting naked. I said something to the effect that was the reason I was there, and they proceeded to strip down to their essentials. I went into the bathroom to disrobe, so that I could get preserve the coif of my wig, my earrings, and the state of my makeup as best possible. I privately cursed the fact that I had agreed not to carry a purse, which would have contained my femme accessories maintenance gear.
So, anyway, I came out of the bathroom and discovered Joe and Charlie making out with each other, and they invited me to join them. Pretty soon we were all French kissing, and running hands over nipples, buttocks, inner thighs, and other erogenous zones. Joe, I think, whispered into my ear that he bet I'd love to suck his cock, and he was speaking the truth. For a guy who couldn't have been taller than five foot nine, he had a really big cock, and it was hard and tumescent. Being a submissive slut when I'm in the mood to be fucked, I said nothing, but merely leaned over and took the glans penis in my mouth. I heard him moan, and then felt one of them insert a lubed finger into my pussy. I slide to my knees, positioned myself between Joe's knees, and started to suck on his cock and balls. Charlie was playing with my penis and ass at the time, and rimming me, too. I'm not really sure how long I sucked on Joe, I do know that my jaws started to get tired, but he pushed my head back, slid aside, and let Charlie sit in his place. I was surprised that Charlie's cock was even larger, and that he was more aggressive in sticking his cock into my throat and controlling my head with his hands. I choked a few times, producing massive amounts of saliva, and during the process felt that one of them,it had to be Joe if I was sucking Charlie's big cock, was applying KY Jelly lube to my ass. KY is a bit cool, maybe even cold,out of the tube, and I figured that was the prelude to cock being inserted.
"You want the cock, don't you?" I heard Joe ask, and I mumbled back in the affirmative as Charlie's big cock in my mouth made articulated speech almost impossible. Joe did a nice, competent job of setting his cock in me, no premature lunges, no impetuous thrusts, just a nice, slow insertion until he had most of his manhood inside me. I remember that it felt wonderful to be double-teamed front and back, and looking back realize that I hadn't yet heard the term spit-roasted by that juncture in my life. Joe fucked me for about five to seven minutes, pulled-out, and he and Charlie switched places. This continued for several occasions, sort of a form of Edging on their part, and it was probably the most exhausting fucking I've ever received. I wasn't keeping time, but I know that I was continuously fucked for more than an hour, by which time I was clawing holes in the upholstery of the couch where the event was occurring. For some reason, I wasn't myself able to get over the top, and I wanted to cum so badly, but couldn't produce an orgasm. Even playing with my cock,which tends to become tiny when I'm being fucked couldn't do the trick. Finally, one of the two guys pulled off his condom, asked me if I wanted it in my mouth or on my body, and then fired several thick, ropy strands of cum onto my tongue and lips and throat. Then, the other redoubled his pace on my ass to an almost frantic level and although I couldn't see him, I felt his orgasm deep inside me even tho' he was wearing a condom.
I was desperate to have my own orgasm by then, and when they had finished, and were lying back on the couch, on was able to rub the tip of my penis between my thumb and finger, similar to the way a Cis gender woman will masturbate her clitoris, and came in copious amounts on my belly and thighs.
We finished the wine, and I put on my clothes and left, and have never seen either of them since.
It was an amazing experience in a physical way, but also emotionally unsatisfying. As a Trans girl, I am psychologically more like a Cis gender woman than a man, and in a disquieting way I felt that Joe and Charlie had used me as a cum-dump for their male lust, in a way that was remindful of the attitude evinced by the three men who rapde me. It's not exactly a scientifically valid experiment, but I really do believe that there is a significant difference between Gay and Trans with respect to the emotional responses which sex evokes. I remember when 'Brokeback Mountain' was a sensation in movie theaters, and my ex-wife coming back from watching it and being shaken, not because of the concept of men having sex, but at what she described as the a****listic physicality of it. I've never watched the movie, so I cannot speak to the accuracy of her perception. But, I did feel objectivized by the experience with Joe and Charlie.
Maybe it was too soon after the incident when I was gang-rapde to be fooling around with multiple partners, but after this experience I quit browsing on gay websites, and haven't had another encounter with a gay male who doesn't also identify himself as being interested in Trans.
7 years ago
