No fucking chapter one

It’s time to play hard. Last night I got caught up in a fit of rage. I introduced the group of boys known as ‘the losers.’ Brent was a tall dork with a bad haircut and raging teenage acne. In his memory I was not girlfriend material. He hadn’t dated a girl and he was a sophomore. I entered the equation as a delinquent freshman pretending to be innocent. Another night I will tell you the story of devious behavior before I was a freshman. How I lost my virginity is a totally different story. Being in the gifted program I developed a double life. All of my academic peers were wealthy, well-behaved Christians.

We had our secrets. Five of us good little girls had secrets. It is almost wrong to let you know we were all so damn pretty it was uncanny. Boys were off-limits for some of us. Our little lesbian sleep-overs before church were sacred events we cherished. I quit church to work on Sunday. I was a teenage sex fiend with a laundry list of encounters. They were closely guarded secrets from my five gorgeous classmates. My image was untainted with my exploits camouflaged.

My partner in crime was named angie. Her dad was an abusive preacher. We got close in sixth grade. One day on the way to PE she coaxed me to finally say the word fuck. When it came to fucking I got the job done years before she did. We were a pair. That summer we radically changed our appearance. Aunt jonell was mortified that I bought school clothes at goodwill. No matter what we did it would have been impossible not to know we were different. Girls didn’t dress the way we did. It was the peak of grunge. It was a sea of nirvana shirts and boys with long hair.

That first week of high school angie switched boyfriends three times. We got used to sharing everything. The first time I got head it was her cousin. We bought pot from a cute boy at the church where her dad preached. The only thing we didn’t share was clothing. She was a zero and I was a seven. She had nice c cup tits. I bulged out of a 34 DD. Our personalities were different. She was always outspoken and I seemed shy. I accepted that boys dated her and then chased after me. The each had their own story. Those first few months were a revolving door of long hair and dicks. I made it my goal to hear each boy that dated angie first say more than once ‘I like you better.’

We had similar styles. We looked like opposites. She was tan with a pixie hair-cut. So many people said she looked like a fairy. My idea of beauty involved the snow white persona. I have pictures of me with such pale skin I look translucent. I never went in the sun. I wore sunscreen daily. There was no make-up as pale as my skin. I didn’t even look. I liked lipstick. The old pictures are strange because all you notice is red lip-stick, pale skin, long black hair and polyester prints. It was normal for some dumb k** to ask me if I was a witch.

We started drama class together. It was one hour of wild shenanigans. Our usual routine was laying in one massive pile in the lobby. Early bonding was me, angie, a goth girl named Amanda, a boy on crutches named ben and Ed who was a mechanic. I formed an early love for that boy on crutches that stayed a well-kept secret. Our teacher rudder barely knew we existed. I am pretty sure his first memory of angie was walking in on her sucking a hot boys dick. He said ‘sorry’ and let her finish.

The first play we auditioned for was ‘the lion, the witch and the wardrobe.’ I had been acting since gifted summer school in elementary school. I was no untrained freshman without skills. It was the first time I gave it my best shot. I wanted to be the witch. I was up against the goth girl Amanda and this pretty blonde older girl named carrie. It was a battle to the death. Amanda got eliminated. Me and carrie performed the same monologue at least six times. You know when you nail it. I had already been warned a freshman girl rarely ever got a lead. I was sad when the casting list was posted. Carrie was the witch. My stellar performance landed me a minor role as the unicorn. Angie got a lead as the little girl. We were both excited.

I was switching boyfriends so fast it was scary. Angie started dating the most popular boy in school. I was destroyed. He was my neighbor and my biggest crush since elementary school. I could handle the blow because she shared him with me. We had different attitudes about sex. She wouldn’t fuck him which means I couldn’t either. Not many people in our town realize he had us both. It was a closely guarded secret. Brent idolizes him. Most people do. Brent would say he was way out of my league. In his eyes a girl who wears a size seven or nine as a hefty bitch. I wouldn’t change a thing.

I only wore vintage bell-bottoms so damn sexy it was wrong. Angie was too thin to rock most clothes. I was a shopaholic and she stuck to the same standard outfits. The best part of school was rehearsals. I barely had lines. I played with boys in the curtain. I attracted bi-sexual boys. I can’t explain it. One of them gave me a reputation. We were dating. Our relationship was passionate. Since I connected back with him on myspace and then facebook I can honestly say it was infatuation. Right before the play I went to school and he was absent. I don’t remember the first person who told me. The boy who was the lion was hard-core gay. It was a nightmare.

My boyfriend fucked the lion. He was in the prop room and a cheerleader busted him taking it up the ass. Years later I found out his step-mother immediately found out. She beat him half to death with a board. His father moved him out-of-state and he began a new life. When you get fucked in the ass by the lion you need to pray your family can afford to move out of this town. I got teased non-stop for dating the lion fucker. Even as a senior people would bust out with ‘remember when your boyfriend fucked the lion?’

The lion loved to torment me that he stole my boyfriend. He loved to hit and bite. One day he punched me so hard in the asshole I felt ****d. I turned around to confront him when I was holding a milkshake. I unleashed wrath. He took my milkshake and slurped it. I grabbed it back and sipped it. He laughed at me and said ‘I fucked your boyfriend you bitch.’ That milkshake exchange made me catch mono. He managed to give mono to so many people we nearly didn’t have a play.

I was recovering and dating a c***dhood sweetheart. He has his own story. He was the only boy able to make me his girlfriend for an extended time frame. I was friends with a girl who was one year older than me and in the play. She had this attitude like I was her adopted pet. I knew she had a boyfriend. After school she would take me to hang out with two other dorky boys who adored her. She loved attention. Set construction happened on Saturday. She made a huge mistake and brought her older brother who used to be in drama. He was hot with long blonde hair. I didn’t expect it.

He was so flamboyant you knew damn well he was gay. He fixated on me and I was startled. Rudder wasn’t around. Danny busted out a cup of ice and said ‘let’s play.’ In front everyone he put an ice-cube in his mouth and grabbed me. Suddenly our tongues were playing with ice. Then he told me to kiss a girl. We all went gay with ice. Boys you never dreamed would go there kissed danny and then kissed me. I thought that was as far as we would go. We needed something from k-mart. It may have been the sweetest thing a boy had ever done to me. He grabbed my hand and held on to me like a life-preserver. His sister glared. He announced ‘you’re my girlfriend when I’m home.’

I was just happy. Something about him made me crazy. I actually felt guilty for cheating on my boyfriend joey. He couldn’t catch me because he wasn’t in drama. We knew we had limited time. Our chemistry was so intense we kissed non-stop even when people watched. His mother was on high alert. I could come over but the bedroom was off-limits. One of my favorite memories occurred when his mom was driving us somewhere. I was wearing a skirt with thigh highs. It was night so she couldn’t see what was happening.

We were passionately kissing like newlyweds. We had never been alone together. I am an exhibitionist. When I could feel his hand on my thigh I knew this would be a car ride to remember. My panties were already soaked as he rubbed a finger up and down my pussy. He stopped kissing me and whispered ‘you’re already wet little girl.’ All I could do was mumble ‘mmm hmm.’ I had only fucked one boy. When he pushed a finger deep inside of me it hurt and felt so good. He may have been gay but unlike other boys he damn sure knew how to play with a pussy. As a freshman I quickly figured out older boys go places boys my age feared. I learned it takes practice to passionately kiss while you finger a girl.

So fast he had me on the verge of an orgasm. I probably moaned. His mother could tell we took it up a notch. With his finger rubbing my g-spot she began her lecture. It turned me on. She started in on danny about the dangers he faced as a twenty year old dating a f******n year old. It turned him on too. He slid two fingers in me and it felt so good. He played the piano and his dexterity also meant he was teasing my clit. In some ways I know he was prolonging my orgasm. My whole body was shaking. I could barely comprehend what his mom was saying. He rubbed my g-spot so hard I could feel the orgasm coming. I didn’t know if I could stay silent.

It was unlike any feeling I could describe. I had never heard of squirting. I had many clitoral orgasms. I felt like a lightning bolt shattered my brain and pulsated down to my toes. I peeked right as she said the word ‘prison.’ My pussy pushed out so much liquid I was confused and shocked. He was still rubbing my clit to pro-long the orgasm. I could hear his mother say ‘promise me you two. No fucking.’ I whimpered ‘no fucking’ and leaned back feeling like I just ran a marathon.