My apology for being a cunt

Jesus fucking Christ I am tired but I swore to write this fucking blog. It is my mission to write a blog daily for as long as I have medicine. More than you can imagine I wanted to sign off xhamster and go to word and write some kinky fucking lesbian erotica. Tonight was more complicated.

I spent nearly an hour writing my best friend. She is my world. She is very shy and modest but I’m trying to convince her to set up an xhamster profile. She is also an excellent writer. She is a beautiful bbw who can take photos of herself where she looks like a damn model. The friends I have made on this site have changed my life. I found happiness and I want to share it with her. She had a breakthrough last night. I’m so proud of her I have to brag.

She busts her ass working. She just got a promotion. Her father left her mother. Her brother is lazy and won’t work. She is stressed out. Today she broke. Her brother declared himself ‘the man of the house’ because ‘he has a wang.’ Her father is a monster. He tried to reconcile with his wife by buying her a massive dildo. My best friend went into her mother’s room grabbed the dildo and beat her brother in the goddamn face with a rubber phallus. She can use a dildo as a weapon. She is ready for xhamster.

She hasn’t made up her mind yet. If she does sign up I hope the close friends I have made also shower her with admiration. I want the best for my friends. Next topic, sassyBri I am so lucky she stumbled on my page. She is an amazing woman. I wrote a very intense blog about my father’s death and she was kind enough to send me the perfect song that made me weep like a baby.

That brings me to littlewanker. I love him to pieces. I love writing him erotica that makes him cum. No other man gets me as his personal dominatrix because it is time consuming. I got pissed the fuck off when I saw him leave a totally harmless message on sassyBri’s page. Your damn right I got jealous and territorial. This whole blog is an epic apology because I have a temper. I tore him a new asshole for chasing after a female friend on my page without consulting me first.

It did jeopardize my potential friendship with sassyBri. We have two different systems. I am an artist and a writer and I accept all friend requests I receive. I want people to enjoy my writing. I have huge hopes someone will buy my artwork. I’m working on getting a camera from my new friend the English nazi. If I have a camera my best friend can take amazing nude photos of me. It was my mentor at my print shop’s idea to go nude in my own work. The pictures will be edited to look like vintage magazines just like the images I use to create collages.

I am always honest. I accept all men and women in hopes they like me and my art. SassyBri is very exclusive when it comes to adding a person as a friend. If you make her list you are truly a good, kind, entertaining, safe, appreciated friend. I adore her. She is sexy, articulate and strong. I wanted to be on that list. I explained to littlewanker that if five thousand people from my page contact her I become a liability and not an asset.

We discussed the situation. She is ready for my friends to reach out to her. She can handle the influx. She is teaching me about trolls. She has no problem defending herself. She can handle a fight. She will rip you an asshole if you disrespect her. She told me to tell littlewanker no harm was done.

I am evil. In revenge for his betrayal I posted an erotic conversation that involved his asshole. He asked me to edit the asshole part out. Maliciously I insinuated he let me play with his ass. Clarification, littlewanker has a virgin ass and it is only a fantasy that it will ever be penetrated. I pushed him to go there because I know from experience that any man getting his dick sucked loves a finger in his ass if they try it.

This is not our first battle. We began when he was my master and he made me change my status to ‘my holes are open but my asshole belongs to little wanker.’ I love him to pieces but he is a shitty master and a perfect slave. He only owned my asshole 24 hours before he returned it. Littlewanker has a heart of gold. Even though he dismissed me he read my blogs and checked on me. He is a good man. I have entirely reversed my stance. I hope sassyBri does play dominatrix for him. I hope he makes her list. I hope any friend I have earns her approval.

I wrote a heart wrenching blog about what I lived through. One aspect is the abuse my brother inflicted. I have an obsession with throwing his old toys in the creek behind my house. His prize possession was his Charlie brown lunch box. I have saved it f******n years for the proper occasion to put it in the creek. Littlewanker read my blog and asked for the lunchbox. It touched my heart. He lives in Australia. Nothing would make me happier than sending that damn thing across the world to the right man. Littlewanker is the right man because he asked for it and he handles my temper tantrums.

Finally, I can confess my biggest temper tantrum of the week. I ripped dave a new asshole and kicked him out of my kitchen because of a misunderstanding. If you have been reading my blog a long time you know that dave broke my damn heart. It’s a long story. To be honest I still don’t know what happened. I have to trust him because I love him and we don’t discuss the incident anymore. It is old news.

What happened last night was bizarre. As soon as I wake up I check my pm box and write him a love letter. It is not unusual for us to exchange letters all night. We can’t be together but our love is strong and intense. He didn’t reply to my message. Then I checked page comments and he wrote something like ‘I can see you are busy. I’ll be gone until the dust settles. Talk to you soon.’ I cried like a little bitch. I swear my life is a revolving door of men who drop me like a d**g problem. I never get an explanation.

In my world ‘talk to you soon’ is simply ‘goodbye bitch, it’s over.’ I had been flirting with men all night. I assumed he was finally to damn jealous and he hauled ass. Ironically I made a new friend I really like named chase. He loves anal. We had a really great bonding session. To make him smile I changed my status to ‘chase owns my asshole. He earned it.’ I figured poor dave seeing me give my asshole away for the fifth time finally got pissed off.

For the second time I destroyed him with words in my reply. It was a misunderstanding. It was an xhamster glitch. This was a first for me. The love letter I wrote for him appeared in my pm box like it posted but he didn’t get it. He spent the night thinking I was too busy flirting to respond to his message. He was trying to be understanding and give me time to write and chat with other friends.

I am simply Scottish in heritage. My hair is red and my eyes are green. My grandpa was right off the boat when he was adopted. I have anger issues. I am quick to unleash wrath. I can be cruel. I can get revenge. If you read my metaphor about the kitchen I burn men. I have only been manic for three days and I unleashed wrath on two of my closest friends.

I always apologize for my mistakes. I am honest. I should have not acted so harshly. I can’t promise not to do it again. I had a troll leave me a page comment that I had the most boring profile on xhamster. Jesus Christ you should have read my response. I was brutal. A cocksucker in England critiqued my grammar and bashed me for being an American who doesn’t speak proper English. I ripped him to shreds.

My last apology. I attempted to respond to each missed blog comment since I wrote ‘little s*s.’ It was fun at first. Then it felt like homework. I may have not replied to a comment you left me. I apologize. I can only track five or six blogs a day. One final thing to mention. I am done with the pm box. Men look at my pictures and don’t read my profile.

I’m still swarmed with ‘hi’ ‘hey’ ‘hru’ ‘nice tits’ ‘cam?’ ‘will you help me masturbate’ ‘please comment on a picture of my dick’ ‘sexy’ ‘beautiful’ ‘let’s chat’ and obscene things men want to do to my fucking asshole. I guarantee if you send me a pm that is not a full complimentary sentence you will be deleted. I am done with the bullshit. People who know who they are can pm me with anything. If I don’t know you then your pm better have merit if you expect a response.