The truth comes out and it ain't pretty

It has been a crazy day. I woke up still deeply depressed. The first thing I did was read dave's apology letter. I forgave him. Then I started chatting with my good friends raymond and bob. I had to catch poor raymond up to date on all my drama. He was kind of floored when I tried to explain the situation that led to me screaming at my grandma 'I would rather suck dick at a truck stop than let you help me. No girl should have to say that. When I described the freaky couple and what dave did he asked me 'who the fuck did you let in your life while I was gone?' I love his honesty. I had to ask myself the same question. What was I thinking?

When I finished my story it was very important for me to ask him what he feels for me. At first it was 'I care about you lots' He kept saying I wish we weren't so far apart. I was honest. I told him that distance didn't stop dave from saying he loved me. It was really sad. He said it and then went back to the issue of distance. I feel like I forced him into saying something he didn't mean. I was chatting with bob at the same time. I told raymond that I have a huge shot at making a lot of money from my artwork and being able to relocate to be with a man that loves me. It was almost like he was placating me when he said 'that would be great hun, then you could start a new life.' He could have jumped on the idea that my work could bring me to him. Instead he pretty much dismissed my potential.

It's time for me to get a little cocky. If raymond was in my living room staring at twelve huge intricate pieces of art he could grasp my worth. I examined my newest collection which is a startling 14 pieces. He hasn't seen my lithographs and copper etchings. He hasn't seen my drawings, my self-portrait and the painted collage perfectly framed in my bedroom. He hasn't seen my scrapbooks or my doodles. He has no idea of what I can achieve. I always warn people not to underestimate me. For a reference I googled anais nin and the word collage. I saw so many pictures of a beautiful woman and very little art. I did find a quote from her journals that will always stay with me 'we write to live twice.' It's no joke that my work is better than the collages I saw made in her style. I am totally different. Sometimes you have to check out the competition. I shouldn't be dismissed as a pipe dream.

Bob let me rage out. It was needed. I was able to explain what I create is nearly impossible to duplicate. I do not use photoshop to shrink or enlarge images for my work. I have a monumental collection of vintage images to work with. It took me nearly a life time to build up my material. I can never overemphasize that some of the images I use are cut out of number one editions of notorious comics. I cut up comics worth thousands of dollars for some of my collection. My mentor at the printshop gave me a motherfucking scanner and begged me to start scanning those pictures before committing them to one collage. That is my motherfucking potential. My mentor knows I'm going to do amazing things. It was his idea to use nude photos of myself in my work. When I tell a man I may earn a lot of money from my art and I plan to relocate to the man I love the most, It is no fucking fairytale. It's my motherfucking plan.

Raymond seemed like my notion of success was as likely as hitting the lotto. Bob looked at my work. He realized I may have hit the jackpot. We talked all evening about very intense spiritual issues. After I forgave dave I wrote the cross dressing a nasty little letter about engaging the most dominant man on my page with explicit photos of his wife. Before I quit chatting with Bob I checked the message he sent me back. Dave does use another name on this site. The cross dresser truly claimed to have no idea what I was talking about. He did tell me if someone saw explicit photos of his wife she sent them that he didn't do that shit. I got played. Me and Bob were both kind of shocked at his response.

I know when someone is lying. When I blasted dave I did it convinced a jealous wife was seeking revenge. He worked damn hard to convince me he never talked to her. The cross dresser's response was sincere. He had no concept of befriending a man on my page and swapping photos. Me and bob both read that response and knew damn well dave never spoke to the husband. I'm still confused. Maybe the cross dresser did engage dave. I truly believe it was all the work of a manipulative slut. Dave wrote me an apology saying he wouldn't discuss the issue further. He asked me to write a blog clearing his name for not committing adultery. The last message he sent was just a harsh critique that 'these people don't know him and he has never cheated on his wife.' Let's discuss the topic.

Before I ended my chat with bob I let him know I was about to use words to anally **** a cocksucker. He said 'sounds sexy what kind of lube will you use?' My response was that I intended to fuck him in the ass with a f******n inch dildo I refused to even spit on. I'll post my letter but let me give you a better background. The night dave confessed his strange little love triangle he was really fucked up. He takes pain pill for fun. He claimed he kept them in the same bottle as his xanax and he accidentally d**gged himself. I call bullshit. He took two oxycontin to get high which made him cocky, abusive, and cruel. I hate people who abuse d**gs and do mean shit. So when I talk about him being fucked up he was out there driving around high as a kite and he could've fucking killed somebody. That's the kind of man he is. This is my goodbye letter:

i don't give a fuck what you think. I got a nice reply back from your new buddy the cross dresser who seems to have no concept of contacting you. When I mentioned pictures of his wife he assured me if someone saw them she sent them not him. You are such a piece of shit. I don't care how many girls you've fucked. You are still committing adultery being on a porn site and telling me you love me and then swapping pics with a 'pretty cool redhead.'

I met a better man than you could ever be. He asked me what advice I would give him if some woman did what you did to me. I told him that you should never be with a married woman. You deserve better. When you fall in love you shouldn't be second place. He pointed out that it was sick for you to engage in chats with a gay dude for entertainment purposes. If you want a sitcom watch tv. Stop fucking with real people. Someone who loves me would never jump at the chance to see explicit photos of another woman who views me as a threat.

It was not a one time medication error. You have been pm messaging these people two days. Your actions can't be blamed on pills. You should've immediately told me this couple wanted to be in your life. Instead you let it slip out like an afterthought because you were fucked up and thinking of yourself as some kind of porn star to quote you word for word. I want to puke. I can't wait to blast you for popping a pill like a junkie and letting a new sex secret slip out. I am a damn good woman. What you said to me was cruel and abusive.

You have this omnipotent view that I can't replace you. I did it in one night. I will not miss chatting with you because I have an amazing man named bob in my life. He does not abuse d**gs and say malicious things. He pointed out you were crooked for using all three of us to get shits and giggles. I can do better than you in less than three hours. He writes better. He is more intelligent. He isn't cocky. He isn't possessive. He is spiritual. He is healthy. He is younger. He is more attractive. He makes you look like a piece of trash. I don't feel like white trash anymore. I think you are white trash.

poor raymond asked who on earth would do what you did? He couldn't fathom risking my love to talk to a cross dresser. That is sick. You picked a pervert when you had me. In the end it all boils down to this relationship was a misfortunate mistake. You are that creep who only has cam girls on his friends list. You have to pay someone tips for attention. You are married and paying to see other women to get you off. Act innocent but that is adultery. Go ask your wife if she is cool with you spending money to pay a cam girl because she isn't enough for you. As her if it is okay to show a man or a woman her pictures to get attention.

Go tell your daughter that it is okay for a man to use pictures of her to get someone's attention sexually. Let her know that men can use her pictures for bragging rights. Let her know you need a porn site. Let her know you get pm's from a local chick who wants to piss on you. Prepare her for the way men like her father behave. Let her know a man will say I love you to get attention especially with hopes of seeing her naked. Most of all warn that poor girl never to trust a man who uses pain pills and alcohol. Let her know it makes them verbally abusive.

When they are intoxicated they will belittle what she loves the most. They will destroy her self-worth because of their addictions. What you said to me was damn right cruel. I don't drink or use d**gs. I write. Your attempt to tell me the only reason men read it is to earn my sexuality was destructive. The premise that no other man left a comment with merit was something that could have forced me to stop doing my favorite thing. You were wrong motherfucker. Men read me and protect me out of friendship. Last of all let your daughter know when a man breaks her heart that she can replace him with someone better in less than three hours. Give her that piece of mind.

You were replaced that quickly and I won't miss a damn thing about you. To me this is just another funny story. However it happened a gay dude stole my man. That is fucking hilarious. I got replaced by an ugly dude with man titties. You went for it. You fucking attention seeking creep. Fuck you and goodbye. You have been replaced. He loves redheads too. Now I'm all his. He is not married. He is not going to say cruel things because he's fucked up on pills. I hate junkies and drunks. I'm just better than you.

Before I end this post I personally want to tell destiny how much I love cross dressers. I am kinky and I adore a dude wearing women's panties. I only refer to the husband as a cross dresser because dave has slammed them before in chats. Most heterosexual men are disturbed when a man in bra and panties wants to discuss his tranny fucking fantasies. Not dave. He tried to tell me he reassured the husband he wasn't into dudes and 'council him.' Bullshit. He wanted the wife. I have learned a valuable lesson. I do flirt and chat with married men. I swear on the motherfucking bible, the holy grail, and pictures of baby jesus that I will never fall in love with another married man. I was helping him commit adultery. I fucked up. I admit I was wrong. I will never do it again. An affair can be an emotional relationship. You are not innocent if you are telling another woman how much you love her when you claim to be happily married. If I was his wife I would rather him have a quick fuck than intimately express his utter love and devotion to a woman he can't touch. I deserved to be hurt very badly for my actions. I am grateful that a gay dude and a manipulative slut ended my totally disgraceful behavior.