Please read this if you are waiting for a response

I wrote my definition of a long blog. It made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me angry. My computer shut down before I could post it. From now on I will write on Microsoft word to keep that from ever happening again. I did tell the stories of the men I fell in love with from this site. It is real love. I do have a few good men that I know I can count on. But I have to claim defeat. I am going to eliminate nearly every man on my skype list. For the most part they only contact me in hopes of getting c2c. Last night I played the game. I am very sexual. But before I get sexual I need to bond with men. I’m sick of being a flavor of the week. Too many men contact me once a month just to see if I’ll get them off. It’s ridiculous. I won’t put up with it anymore. I’m not a fucking sex doll.

I do live shows when I’m in the mood to be naughty. I do them free. I tend to let men contact me to whack off as their way of thinking me for a good show. I’ve made some great new contacts going live. The more often I do it the harder it will be to keep up answering pm’s and skype messages. At the same time I’m ready to hit the restart button. It’s time to drop motherfuckers and focus on new men. Sex is great. What I really need is a new circle of friends. I am not able to answer all the messages I get because I refuse to be a one line response. When a man compliments me I go in depth to thank him and praise him. When someone I know asks about my day I give a vivid account. I’m a writer that’s what I do.

Good friends know that if I simply respond with one sentence something is wrong and they worry about me. Keeping this blog changes everything. I am brutally honest. It’s refreshing. I talk about taboo issues and I know how to tell a funny story. I love doing it. At the same time I feel guilt for not being able to respond to beautiful messages the way they deserve to be responded to. I am a complex woman. I have issues. I do take regular breaks from skype and xhamster. Sometimes I need solitude. The best way to reach me is going to be skype. As I eliminate motherfuckers who only want cam sex once a month I open a doorway for new men to give me the companionship I need.

I have a few rules. I don’t cam with men who don’t show their face. I’m sick and tired of men who talk to me for one night, declare they love me and call me 25 times the next day. Love can’t happen in one cam session. I ended up breaking hearts when I give it a shot. I’m not a fucking secretary working at a call center. Please don’t send me sad faces and beg me to pick up the phone. I have issues. When I run out of the legal speed that keeps me from being sedated I truly disappear. It happens on a monthly basis. I warn men it will happen. When it does they still get pissed off and become aggressive or whiney. I’m looking for patient men that like to have conversation. I want true friends that contact me almost daily. If you can’t stop in and say hello once a week you are wasting my time and I won’t be able to remember you.

I do have exceptions to every rule. As a man you know if you can treat a woman with respect and not press her for sex. You know if you are laidback and funny. You know if you can enjoy long messages and not feel like it’s a waste of time. You know if you communicate with mostly smiley faces and one line that has no value. I am a really smart woman. At the same time I get conned. Men will spend hours earning my trust and my sexuality and never contact me again. If it happens again I’m going to get hostile. I just had one female friend block me because I didn’t say happy birthday. She declared me a selfish bitch. I checked my calendar. It was the same day I was out of medicine and I didn’t leave the bed. That kind of behavior is why I rarely talk to women. I warned a man in Montenegro who called me a bitch that saying that to my face means I throw a punch and bust up your damn mouth. It goes the same for women. If you think you can call me a selfish bitch in real life you better be prepared to get hit. I don’t tolerate bullshit.

I look very innocent and sweet. Don’t let looks deceive you. I can defend myself and launch a verbal assault you will never forget. In real life I have faced abuse and I fight like a fucking man. I have a great story to tell. It is full of moments when I conquer hurtles and achieve success. I also have stories that tell what I’m like when I lose hope and my brain gets dangerously suicidal. Sure I’m embracing my sexuality. I’m also on guard against men that plan to use me once and move on. My whole profile is a test. It is designed to scare away men with no interest in reading. I taunt that I may charge on purpose to scare away men. I’m about to load my profile with nude pics and videos. That means more messages and more men who think I offer pleasure when they want it. My nude photos are an artistic statement. I plan to celebrate my comfort with nudity.

I hear horror stories from men that most women on this site are attention seeking trashy whores with no intelligence or wit. I’m not that girl. If you can’t hold a good conversation please don’t bother me. I want to share life stories and bond with good men. That’s what I’m after. If sexuality occurs it’s just a bonus. Getting to be a part of my life is an interview process. Because I can’t answer really genuine comments on xhamster in a timely fashion I have no choice but to eliminate most of the men on my skype list and invite new men to experience an interview and win my adoration.

Also my blog truly is my baby. I will never expect any man to read it all. At the same time if you don’t make an effort to try and read it then it’s like spanking my c***d without my permission. If you don’t like to read don’t add me on skype. I **** men with letters. I do it daily. Some men are aching to find an honest chick that really makes an effort to embrace a good conversation. I am that chick. If you can’t handle it then don’t waste my time. You are taking time away from the men that do need me. I’m very goddamn smart. I will call you out on bullshit. The men that provide me good conversation get most of my attention.

The man I referred to as anonymous is a perfect example of what I’m looking for. I think he was hurt I didn’t use his real name. He gave me permission to use it from now on. HOMERO. Are contact began with an all-night discussion about art and literature. It evolved into a sexual frenzy that I adore. I do like men who give me sexual pleasure. At the same time we can talk about our daily lives. It’s a perfect example of the kind of man I’m looking for. I have a naughty side. I have a spiritual side. I’m well educated. I love discussing all most anything. You can truly ask me anything and get an honest response.

If you are focused on just sex then you’re not going to pass the interview. I do hope all the men waiting for a response from a missed message happen to read this blog. If men do read it and follow my advice the first few weeks will be hectic. It’s worth it. I need good men I can count on not to use me once and drop me for the next conquest. If you can’t skype leave me a comment on my page or my blog if you want to get my attention. If you want to take the interview then I encourage you to go for it. Add me on skype. If I get hit with a lot of requests it could take me weeks to get to you. Since most men don’t read then it probably won’t happen.

I’m opening the doors for new friends. A lot of men will get rejected so I can try out new men. It is very simple. It may be difficult because I’m having computer issues. I seem to be overheating or my battery is busted. I may not be able to cam and only be able to write messages. By reaching out to me on a daily basis and avoiding a stalker like move of repeat calls I decline we can truly bond. My ID is now a secret. this blog has been edited