About

I'm kind of a big deal.
HEY EVERYONE! COME SEE HOW GOOD I LOOK!
I'm Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an I.Q. of 48 and am what some people call mentally retarded.

Tell me about it, this morning, I woke up and I shit a squirrel, but what I can't get is the damn thing is still alive. So now, I've got a shit covered squirrel running around my office and I don't know what to name it.

Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen. Cannonball.

Champ Kind: The bottom line is you've been spending a lot of time with this lady, Ron. You're a member of the Channel Four News Team.
Ron Burgundy: That's a given.
Champ Kind: We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you, I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent; I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together.
Brian Fantana: Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you stop talking for a while.

I love... carpet.
I love...desk.
I love...Lamp..
LOUD NOISES!!!!!
Cairo... that's in Egypt.

Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious vee of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes "Oh my god, I've had the old bull, now I want the young calf," and grabs me by the wiener...

I tea-bagged your drum set!

Dale Doback: Can we turn our beds into bunkbeds?
Brennan Huff: It will give us so much extra space in our room to do activities!
Dr. Robert Doback: Your adults, you can do what you want.
Dale Doback: This is the funnest night ever!

When I was a kid, when I was a little boy, I always wanted to be a dinosaur, I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex more than anything in the world, I made my arms short and I roamed the back yard, I chased the neighborhood cats, I growled and I roared, everybody knew me and was afraid of me, and one day my dad said "Bobby you are 17, it's time to throw childish things aside" and I said "OK Pop", but he didn't really say that he said that "Stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job".

25 and Single
love to laugh
and have a great time with friends

A woman went to a tat parlor and said put a turkey on one hip and santa on the other..the artist did what she asked. when she was done and ready to leave the artist said "may I ask why such unusual hip tattoos?" The woman looked at him and stated" I am tired of my husband saying there is nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas.."