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Love have sex with Fat / Husky / Chubby DL Married men in the New Jersey area.

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He kept slowly pulling me down on it. I opened my throat and took it. I took IT ALL! "OH fuck Mrs. P you are a REAL cocksucker the girls couldn't take me!" he started sliding my head up and down his cock. I only gagged a little when it was all the way in. Quickly I was sucking him myself. His black cock stretching my mouth and throat. After a few moments I realized he was not holding my head, I looked up at him and saw he was taking pictures with his phone. I didn't even slow down sucking!
"Lick my balls Mrs P" which I immediately did! After a couple moments I switched back to his cock. "Stand up Mrs. P" obeying he then took a couple pics of me standing in my boots and thong "take off the thong..." I peeled it down revealing my wet shaven pussy. More pics. "Lay on your back and spread your legs."
"Now play with yourself" I started masturbating, moaning and he took pics. Soon I came and it was all recorded on his phone. He then laid down on top of my and guided his cock into my pussy. I let out a deep guttural grown of mixed pain and pleasure. I wrapped my boot clad legs around his waist and start humping him back. As he pumped in and out he then pinned my hands over my head with one hand again. The other kneading my breasts like earlier "OH FUCK YES YOUR PUSSY IS BETTER FUCK I LOVE YOUR TIGHT MARRIED CUNT!" I found that as he talked nastier it turned me on more! His ebony boy dwarfing my white one. His strength dominating me! I soon began to cum yet again!
When that orgasm subsided he flipped me on to my hands and knees "One test left!" I had no idea what he was talking about
Before I could ask what he meant I felt that cock pressing my asshole! I reached back to stop him and he slapped my side boob with a meaty open hand! The pain was terrible and sent a wave a heat to my pussy! My elbows buckle I want boob and face first into the floor ass in the air. He grabbed my hips and began to push again his cock only lubed with my pussy juice and his precum STRETCHING MY ass! He began to pump I was grunting continuous noises! Shaking my head after about 10 minutes he exploded into my ass!
I would have been more devastated if I found out that he did not have enough confidence in me to be able to tell me about so fundamental things in his life. I am (painfully) happy that he had the chance to find a man who seems to have been extremely kind, gentle, respectful of me and at the same time intelligent and articulate enough to challenge my husband's fears, cowardice, and at times stupidity. We talk a lot, we cry a lot, we are mentally and physically closer than ever, at least for now.
Where am I right now? I concentrate all my efforts in giving him the security and the "space" that he needs to continue his work on himself. I assure him that I will never challenge who he is. It is for me extremely clear that I would lose him immediately if I asked him to choose. Not necessarily because he is more in love with this man, but because he could not live with my denying who he is. His newly won true identity is too important, too precious.
So the only option for me at this point is to let him both be at home and live his other love. My conditions: simplicity and honesty. Simplicity: no stupid excuses for coming home late or not coming home. Just say: I am with K. tonight. Honesty: by that I mean honesty and respect both with me and that man.
My needs are at the moment limited to being at all times confident that my husband is with me because he loves me, because he wants to, not because he feels that he should. I also want him to take his lover's needs seriously. I need to be sure that he is honorable and responsible with his other love and I do need to see him honest with who he is. I cannot see that it is fair that he keeps his lover as a secret lover. It is unfair for the lover's feelings. And it would be an expression of guilt.
I love my husband. I am confused because I cannot feel many limits for my love. I feel that my love is irreversible and that I can accept his expanding his "love field,” provided he is as honest in both his loves. I know that we have to take one day at a time. I am extremely frightened to lose him. He is my lover of course, but even more he is my best friend. I feel that I will bear very much of the responsibility for whether we will grow or destroy precious feelings. I have concentrated my energy so much on him that I have not started much work on myself yet. I imagine that I kid myself on several points, but I don't know where yet. I don't know how much I can trust myself.