Coming out to my self

     I think the biggest challenge for me was definitely coming to terms with my sexuality without really having anyone there for me to look up to. Someone to at
least look to for guidance or, to have someone there to tell me that I was normal and I wasn’t alone. I really did feel like I was the only person in the world who was going through this realization of being gay and it was really very isolating.

  I definitely felt pressure to act in a certain manner..to not seem gay. Even before I really knew what the word “gay” meant, I knew that it was something that you weren’t supposed to be. I knew there was a negative connotation to the word…And then I found out that it meant boys who like boys, and I thought, ‘Oh shit… that’s me.’. It seems funny now, but it really wasn’t at that point.

     Wen I was In my high school there wasn’t a specific group for LGBT students, but there was the Safe School Committee. I was asked to join it by a teacher who wanted a stronger male presence on the committee. We went to a school board wide meeting about the importance of Gay-Straight Alliances in schools. so..I guess there was somewhat of a presence of program but, if I wasn’t a member of the club I wouldn’t have even known about it.

   If there was a Gay-Straight Alliance, I think people might have been extremely hesitant to join it! And I know I would have been hesitant. The last thing I wanted was to be accused of being gay at that point. Now that I’m done school, and living in a big city, I’m proud to be who I am. It’s still hard to come home though.. no one really knows that I gay other than my parents.