HUMOR: You Might Be A Porn Addict Old-Timer If….

This blog is intended to be humorous and should not be taken seriously, but as the saying goes “If the shoe fits….”

If you enjoyed it, please re-post it and pass it on.

If you have a humorous one then PM or send me a comment. If I like it I will add it to this blog along with your user name.

I hope you enjoy my “dark and perverted” humor. Larry @ lmpx7777


The first porn movie you watched was an 8mm film reel and a portable projector.

You believed your parents never looked under your mattress to find your porn collection.

You have been caught by everyone in your household when privately pleasuring yourself while enjoying your favorite porn material.

You have been caught by everyone in your household (more than once) when privately pleasuring yourself while enjoying your favorite porn material. Now, you are just pathetic.

You had a 24 hour marathon to see how many times you can really “jack off” to your porn collection. (Sadly, I did and my personal best is 19 times….many, many, years ago!)

The Eveready bunny has been over-worked by your “personal” flashlight.

Your laptop computer has keys that are “sticky”.

Your vintage porn collection is so worn and stained that it is no longer considered valuable “collectables”.

Your porn video collection is so large that if you watched it all 24 hours a day seven days a week, it would take you five years to completely watch everything. (Guilty!)

You ignore a telephone call because you are “too involved in your porn”.

You are late for work because you are “too involved in your porn”.

You do not show up for work because you are “too involved in your porn”.

You had Pin Up posters of Bettie Page on your bedroom wall.

You believe “Deep Throat” is the greatest cinematic movie ever made.

You have a large collection of VHS porn stored away thinking this DVD thing is just a fad.

You walked into a “booth” at the local adult bookstore. You saw the holes in the walls and thought the place had a serious “rat infestation” problem.

The management and other patrons at the local adult bookstore knew you by your first name.

You had an open credit line at the local adult bookstore.

You thought a “bush” was a lot of hair covering a female’s private area, not two former US presidents.

You remembered when most porn actresses had a “bush” and not this thing called a Brazilian wax.

You and your dad shared each other’s porn collection.

You had a “Super Porn” party instead of a “Super Bowl” party with your best friends.

You are a member of the “Swap and Share” club at the nursing home.

You tell yourself that you buy porn magazines because you enjoy reading the articles. (Yea, right!)

You had attended a local Porno Anonymous (PA) meeting. (Do they have a 12 step program?)

You tell everyone you don’t have a problem….you are just boosting the economy.