Some confusion with my Porn Addiction

Recent thoughts on my Porn Addiction

I have always been one to try and categorize people and myself into neat little boxes so I like labels for people and their behaviours. Until recently I have been a "closet" pornaholic and masturbator. This is something I have been keeping pent up inside of me since I was 10 (after discovering my first porn mag in my older brothers room and wanking furiously). I have only been "outed" a few times-- once by my wife a few years ago that caused our separation ----but that is a total different story for later!!!

Since joining Xham a few days ago I have been relishing in the fact that I can admit here freely that I am a Masturbator who is totally turned on by Porn -- someone who thinks of nothing else and loves that feeling of being on the edge of cumming and keeping that state of arousal for days. I feel so alive when I am like this and my cock rules my day with Porn feeding and fueling me on.
Not only can I admit to my addiction here ,but there are others here that freely talk about theirs. This has made the last few days very enjoyable and exciting. My cock has never been in a higher state of arousal and my orgasms have been totally mind blowing when I go over that edge that I have been cultivating for hours or even days!

Now as to my confusion from yesterday. I have always been attracted to certain types of porn and my first wank sessions always involved large breasted women (the type in old porn mags) and progressed to Bimbos getting totally fucked by alpha males and then I discovered shemales and so on---you know the drill ! I have always had a healthy respect or admiration for the porn studs and alpha males - their prowress with their big cocks was always something to strive for and try to copy in my jerking sessions. I have never given a hand job or blow job to a male before and have not thought of myself as bi or even as someone with gay overtones.

Last evening while watching a vid on a blog I totally got taken up with another guy jerking off. I wanted to help him cum - this was new to me and totally got me thinking about things.
This morning I asked myself if I was in a public washroom and that guy's cock (from the vid) came through a glory hole what would I do ? I did not like my thoughts at that time because my admiration was being progressed into one of Worship!

Now I know there are all types of humiliation captioned pics out there about Betas but I did not feel that it applied to me ----but maybe----I am just very confused about this whole thing.

Published by BETA_bator
7 years ago
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29
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kink2kink 3 years ago
Porn is the only true religion!
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strokerace17
strokerace17 4 years ago
to BETA_bator : I def love this story, and want to hear how she outed you and what you meant...
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BETA_bator Publisher 5 years ago
to strokerace17 : But that would take time away from my porn!!!  lol       It is time for me to do a few updates on things I guess.   I do feel better after disclosing things .
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strokerace17
strokerace17 5 years ago
looking forward to reading this story....   " I have only been "outed" a few times-- once by my wife a few years ago that caused our separation ----but that is a total different story for later!!!"
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strokerace17
strokerace17 5 years ago
awesome post !  I totally hear you...
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boppizza 6 years ago
Don't be confused, just have fun. Get on cam and help guys get off. That's a lot of fun
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blade136 6 years ago
to PornDumb : You too?!?!  They're the absolute best!
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salpecam 6 years ago
it's always great to read about other completely converted masturbators who went along a similar path to me
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PornDumb 6 years ago
You are going down a path I started down five years ago!  Wait until you get to tgurls and shemales!   Now every beautiful woman I see, I hope she has a cock!
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Megabetaboy
to thebuttboi : Down down deeper and down
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Megabetaboy
to BETA_bator : Exactly, even though I have not yet sucked a cock I'm pretty sure I would be awesome at it, and as you say  missing the cumshot is a travesty 
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BETA_bator Publisher 6 years ago
to Megabetaboy : I think we jerk off so much that when we see another cock being stroked we know exactly what it needs and that sense of orgasmic delight percolating in those balls. I am always so let down when they do not show the cum shot--should be some sort of a law against that!! :smile:
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BETA_bator Publisher 6 years ago
to gunner01 : Over the last few days I have been having fun with the naughty stuff! Loving it as I get drawn in deeper.
Yes I would like to compare notes sometime. :wink:
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thebuttboi
thebuttboi 6 years ago
to Megabetaboy : It's a path most porn addicted betas end up taking. Enjoy it all and then delve deeper.
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Megabetaboy
Indeed, this seems a well worn path, like you, I never thought I would be so in thrall to a guy just jerking off, I definitely wanted to help out
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gunner01 6 years ago
to BETA_bator : The naughtier the better, as far as I'm concerned. Have fun! We should compare notes sometime! :wink:
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BETA_bator Publisher 6 years ago
to gunner01 : I am starting to see and feel that now. Kind of exciting to let the "ride" take you to parts unknown--- such a naughty ride sometime! :wink:
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gunner01 6 years ago
to turboooo : Can I join you? Sounds hot!
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gunner01 6 years ago
A well travelled path, my friend. As others have said, don't feel bad, just enjoy the ride and see where it takes you... :wink:
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BETA_bator Publisher 6 years ago
to turboooo : LOL @ batehole ! Nasty but feels soooo good !!!!!!
Thanks for the guiding hands. :wink:
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turboooo
turboooo 6 years ago
Take our hands.  Climb down into our batehole.  It's so nasty down here.
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BETA_bator Publisher 6 years ago
to Tommie_tomm2 : Well there is no doubt I have been exploring-- it is good to hear from other pornoholics and their experiences.
LOL @ Nnnnnngggghhhh --that sound has been uttered many times lately to my recent porn desires!!!
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Tommie_tomm2
Tommie_tomm2 6 years ago
Your situation is very normal. Pornoholics enjoy seeing new and different porn. It's a turn on to explore those sides of us that we never even thought to explore. That's why we all have almost as many cock pics as pussy, ass or tit pics (and vids) in our favorites! Keep on exploring your porn desires! And Nnnnnggghhhhh! :smile:
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BETA_bator Publisher 6 years ago
Thanks for your reply. I have been watching more vids and pics in these categories lately and have found it very arousing. I have a feeling I have always had some latent "urges" in this area. So for now as you say "more porn categories to watch" Oh Yessss! lol
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BETA_bator Publisher 7 years ago
to ConstantlyCraving : Sounds like fun . Will definitely check it out. Thanks!
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ConstantlyCraving
You should join my Masturbation Club. read my blog for more information :smile:
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Megabetaboy
to BETA_bator : It’s a safe place where you can develop
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BETA_bator Publisher 7 years ago
to Megabetaboy : Well I am surprised by the " broadening" to that horizon. -- but I looked at my profile today and was surprised at the number of cocks showing up. This addiction - or is that adDICKtion ? - can cause so many changes as it takes over your life but like you I will continue to embrace it ! LOVE MY PORN !!!
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Megabetaboy
porn addiction broadens your horizons, embrace it..........i do
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