More Bitching About Porn's Problems!
Okay, here we go again with some more subjects in porn that pisses me the fuck off. Maybe you'll agree with me, maybe you won't. Here's another 5!
1. Parodies
Okay so we loved the shows they're based on, but does every DAMN show need a porn parody of it? This isn't really a new genre as most people might think, porn has been making their takes on Hollywood's best over the years, but now it's gotten out of control. Some of the shows they're spoofing already have so much sex in the real thing is there even a point in making a porn parody of it? They did one on Jerry Springer,( a show that nearly every episode has sex in it to one degree or another. ) the boring to watch, but somehow popular Big brother and a variety of 80's and 90's sitcoms. Is porn taking a queue from the movie side of Hollywood and just taking an old show and making it a movie cause they ran out of original ideas? I guess as long as there's a popular show with a decent cast and maybe one hot girl they'll be a porn parody of it.
2. BIG Cock, tiny Cumshot
Lexington Steele, Richard Mann, Sean Michaels and of course Mandingo. All these guys have one thing in common. BIG FUCKING DICKS!!! But another thing they also have in common. tiny CUMSHOTS!!! These guys do top of the line movies and get to fuck some of porn's best looking girls and yet when it comes to the finale it's usually a let down. The lead you up to thinking it's gonna be big, the last minute hard groaning, the vigorious pumping of their dicks, the sweat dipping down their heads and just when you think Jenna Haze is gonna get splattered with an ocean of nut juice. Drip, drip, and whewwwwwwww! A terrible cumshot is produced. It's just really a bad way to end a scene, especially if the girl they're pounding is super hot and the cumshot you fired messed up your keyboard.
3. "Fuck Yeah!"
Fuck Yeah! The standard line used by porn sluts across the USA. It really needs to go. It doesn't enhance the scene, the girl doesn't sound hotter and it doesn't make me HARDER. Actually it has become very annoying to the point where I don't even know how most porn actresses sound when they're just talking normally cause I turn the volume down so I don't have to hear that tired line. I'm starting to like the homemade porn a little better now cause they figured out that just normal sounds heard during "REAL" sex actually does make the viewer hornier. Like hearing a girls low groans of pleasure, maybe a girl gently sobbing cause the cock she's taking is way to big for her. Even just the simple stuff like a bed quaking hard from some rough fucking sounds way better than "Fuck Yeah!"
4. Playboy
Playboy sucks!!!! There I've said it. Okay maybe Playboy didn't always suck(see issues from the late 60s and 70s) but now it definitely does. When most guys where k**s getting to look at a Playboy was something you had to do at least once. Not me though my first magazine of interest was Hustler. It was more graphic and intense in terms of what they showed. Girls opening their pussies as wide as they could and having another girl lick her inside was amazing to a 9 yr old boy. Looking at Playboy was a kin to looking a Victoria Secrets catalog. It just couldn't compete. I know most guys would say though, every guy wants a Playboy model type girlfriend. I don't know about that nowadays. Guys now tend to like girls who go a little further in the ways of Nasty and girls like that tend not to like Playboy either.
5. Lisa Ann
Hold on! I'm not saying I hate Lisa Ann or anything, hell she practically IS the MILF craze. It just seems though she's becoming incredibly over-saturated in porn. She seems to be everywhere MILF, anal, ass, big tits, interracial, lesbian, masturbation, parody. It's getting a tad annoying seeing her face everywhere. Remember when Taylor Rain was the girl everybody was stroking too? She seemed to be around a lot too, now though you don't see her at all. Lost in a sea of new chicks cause she burned out to quick. I'd hate to see this happen to Lisa, but it will if she is constantly being jammed down every porn lover's throat.
Hey! That's my 5, either you agreed with me or just had a good laugh either way thanks for taking the time to read it. Now get back to beating off to the movies I put up!
1. Parodies
Okay so we loved the shows they're based on, but does every DAMN show need a porn parody of it? This isn't really a new genre as most people might think, porn has been making their takes on Hollywood's best over the years, but now it's gotten out of control. Some of the shows they're spoofing already have so much sex in the real thing is there even a point in making a porn parody of it? They did one on Jerry Springer,( a show that nearly every episode has sex in it to one degree or another. ) the boring to watch, but somehow popular Big brother and a variety of 80's and 90's sitcoms. Is porn taking a queue from the movie side of Hollywood and just taking an old show and making it a movie cause they ran out of original ideas? I guess as long as there's a popular show with a decent cast and maybe one hot girl they'll be a porn parody of it.
2. BIG Cock, tiny Cumshot
Lexington Steele, Richard Mann, Sean Michaels and of course Mandingo. All these guys have one thing in common. BIG FUCKING DICKS!!! But another thing they also have in common. tiny CUMSHOTS!!! These guys do top of the line movies and get to fuck some of porn's best looking girls and yet when it comes to the finale it's usually a let down. The lead you up to thinking it's gonna be big, the last minute hard groaning, the vigorious pumping of their dicks, the sweat dipping down their heads and just when you think Jenna Haze is gonna get splattered with an ocean of nut juice. Drip, drip, and whewwwwwwww! A terrible cumshot is produced. It's just really a bad way to end a scene, especially if the girl they're pounding is super hot and the cumshot you fired messed up your keyboard.
3. "Fuck Yeah!"
Fuck Yeah! The standard line used by porn sluts across the USA. It really needs to go. It doesn't enhance the scene, the girl doesn't sound hotter and it doesn't make me HARDER. Actually it has become very annoying to the point where I don't even know how most porn actresses sound when they're just talking normally cause I turn the volume down so I don't have to hear that tired line. I'm starting to like the homemade porn a little better now cause they figured out that just normal sounds heard during "REAL" sex actually does make the viewer hornier. Like hearing a girls low groans of pleasure, maybe a girl gently sobbing cause the cock she's taking is way to big for her. Even just the simple stuff like a bed quaking hard from some rough fucking sounds way better than "Fuck Yeah!"
4. Playboy
Playboy sucks!!!! There I've said it. Okay maybe Playboy didn't always suck(see issues from the late 60s and 70s) but now it definitely does. When most guys where k**s getting to look at a Playboy was something you had to do at least once. Not me though my first magazine of interest was Hustler. It was more graphic and intense in terms of what they showed. Girls opening their pussies as wide as they could and having another girl lick her inside was amazing to a 9 yr old boy. Looking at Playboy was a kin to looking a Victoria Secrets catalog. It just couldn't compete. I know most guys would say though, every guy wants a Playboy model type girlfriend. I don't know about that nowadays. Guys now tend to like girls who go a little further in the ways of Nasty and girls like that tend not to like Playboy either.
5. Lisa Ann
Hold on! I'm not saying I hate Lisa Ann or anything, hell she practically IS the MILF craze. It just seems though she's becoming incredibly over-saturated in porn. She seems to be everywhere MILF, anal, ass, big tits, interracial, lesbian, masturbation, parody. It's getting a tad annoying seeing her face everywhere. Remember when Taylor Rain was the girl everybody was stroking too? She seemed to be around a lot too, now though you don't see her at all. Lost in a sea of new chicks cause she burned out to quick. I'd hate to see this happen to Lisa, but it will if she is constantly being jammed down every porn lover's throat.
Hey! That's my 5, either you agreed with me or just had a good laugh either way thanks for taking the time to read it. Now get back to beating off to the movies I put up!
13 years ago
Thx for sharing mate.