In the Lifestyle: What We've Learned
In no particular order...
* Never ever push. Watched two guys try to fuck a gal when they were all naked in the hot tub when she consistently said no in ever so many ways while I smoked a cig outside near the tub. Nothing inappropriate happened; gal was strong and the stiff guys backed off. Way to go gal!
* Meet and greet with another couple is a must with absolutely no pressure...meet over appetizers...no dinner unless there has been a lot of sharing.
* Bring gifts to a gathering...Refrigerated cookies, Amstel beer, bottle of Pinot Gris, 420 flowers, pineapple.
* Racy fun games... (but not head games)...like Cards against Humanity and Jenga and drink if the mustache you taped to the television while watching South Park Christmas episodes is a perfect fit. Enjoyed those games this eve.
* They probably have pets.
* Smoke outside.
* Smoke 420 in a back room.
* No needles or crack.
* Do not be grabby.
* If everyone clicks...then recipe for the next meeting: potluck, vino/beer/whiskey, pot, pineapple spears, chinese bbq pork, shrimp, beer, 70s and 80s music, a hot tub, and...
* Know and respect distance. FWB doesn't mean falling in love; NSA means just that--no strings attached...like maybe a prolonged ONS (one night stand).
* Shave. Wash.
* Especially be honest about your health.
* Use their toys with them and let them use your toys with you...if you're toy dogs! Don't mix.
* Be polite.
* Be comfortable with your body and others'--that is, at our age we have unique non-model but still hot body shapes. In our experience, the hottest folks ain't Barbies or Kens.
* Never go into a largish home party with expectations. Go with the flow and mingle without touching. Talk and enjoy each other's interests. I talked with a guy about his very expensive vape pen for a while, and his gal came up to me and asked me if I had kissed anyone this evening (which I had)...then she kissed me.
* When we've met with couples over time, in person and in messaging, we rarely refer to each others' names for a while. Over time, then we name drop.
* Talk frankly about your sexual desires and don'ts/no's at some early-ish point when it feels right (never at the beginning).
* Eat together, drink together, get high together, watch movies together, play party and board games together (like Cards Against Humanity https://cardsagainsthumanity.com ).
* Sexting doesn't necessarily mean sending cock pics. Be erotic!
* Honesty + Time + Outside the bed experiences + Once in a while texting about your life and theirs = Great sex
* ONS (One Night Stand): Nope, sorry.
* AFF and Tinder are where we've met our folks over the years.
* Meet with the couple, guy and/or gal outside of the bedroom over a walk in Finch arboretum or over an appetizer or a walk first a few times to get their vibe.
* Get into jazz, 80s music, jazz, etc..with them at their our your place...or at least via IM links.
* Be direct if you're not interested and the chemistry isn't right.
* Some folks want to be more than friends and are looking to marry or be in a monogamous relationship with you. Zoosk has a lot of those types of gals.
* Don't tease if you don't want to or aren't in the mindset or never intend to please in person.
* Never meet for the first time over a dinner. Why? Dinners take over an hour and if you don't connect with the other person or couple...well, you can imagine the awkwardness.
* Be very flexible....but most of all:
be honest.
* Never ever push. Watched two guys try to fuck a gal when they were all naked in the hot tub when she consistently said no in ever so many ways while I smoked a cig outside near the tub. Nothing inappropriate happened; gal was strong and the stiff guys backed off. Way to go gal!
* Meet and greet with another couple is a must with absolutely no pressure...meet over appetizers...no dinner unless there has been a lot of sharing.
* Bring gifts to a gathering...Refrigerated cookies, Amstel beer, bottle of Pinot Gris, 420 flowers, pineapple.
* Racy fun games... (but not head games)...like Cards against Humanity and Jenga and drink if the mustache you taped to the television while watching South Park Christmas episodes is a perfect fit. Enjoyed those games this eve.
* They probably have pets.
* Smoke outside.
* Smoke 420 in a back room.
* No needles or crack.
* Do not be grabby.
* If everyone clicks...then recipe for the next meeting: potluck, vino/beer/whiskey, pot, pineapple spears, chinese bbq pork, shrimp, beer, 70s and 80s music, a hot tub, and...
* Know and respect distance. FWB doesn't mean falling in love; NSA means just that--no strings attached...like maybe a prolonged ONS (one night stand).
* Shave. Wash.
* Especially be honest about your health.
* Use their toys with them and let them use your toys with you...if you're toy dogs! Don't mix.
* Be polite.
* Be comfortable with your body and others'--that is, at our age we have unique non-model but still hot body shapes. In our experience, the hottest folks ain't Barbies or Kens.
* Never go into a largish home party with expectations. Go with the flow and mingle without touching. Talk and enjoy each other's interests. I talked with a guy about his very expensive vape pen for a while, and his gal came up to me and asked me if I had kissed anyone this evening (which I had)...then she kissed me.
* When we've met with couples over time, in person and in messaging, we rarely refer to each others' names for a while. Over time, then we name drop.
* Talk frankly about your sexual desires and don'ts/no's at some early-ish point when it feels right (never at the beginning).
* Eat together, drink together, get high together, watch movies together, play party and board games together (like Cards Against Humanity https://cardsagainsthumanity.com ).
* Sexting doesn't necessarily mean sending cock pics. Be erotic!
* Honesty + Time + Outside the bed experiences + Once in a while texting about your life and theirs = Great sex
* ONS (One Night Stand): Nope, sorry.
* AFF and Tinder are where we've met our folks over the years.
* Meet with the couple, guy and/or gal outside of the bedroom over a walk in Finch arboretum or over an appetizer or a walk first a few times to get their vibe.
* Get into jazz, 80s music, jazz, etc..with them at their our your place...or at least via IM links.
* Be direct if you're not interested and the chemistry isn't right.
* Some folks want to be more than friends and are looking to marry or be in a monogamous relationship with you. Zoosk has a lot of those types of gals.
* Don't tease if you don't want to or aren't in the mindset or never intend to please in person.
* Never meet for the first time over a dinner. Why? Dinners take over an hour and if you don't connect with the other person or couple...well, you can imagine the awkwardness.
* Be very flexible....but most of all:
be honest.
8 years ago
are you in the lifestyle, too? any words of wisdom?