I'm Posing as a Porn Widow Over on Reddit.com
And the stupid bitches over there are falling for it:)
Their answers are pretty funny.
Deleted
My handle is HurtByPorn.
Here's my post. I'm pretty convincing, I must say. How wicked of me:).
My Husband's Porn Addiction is KILLING our Bedroom. For the Love of God, Help!
submitted 9 hours ago by HurtbyPorn
First time poster here. I'll try to keep this short.
We're both 34 and have been married for five years. Throughout our courtship and the first three years of our marriage, our sex life was wonderful and very satisfying.
That began to change about two years when his sexual interest in me began to drop off. From sex three times a week, we're now down to once a month (if I'm lucky). Even then, he almost acts as if it's a chore. Very formulaic without any passion
I find it very un-satisfying and depressing.
I began to suspect he was watching porn behind my back. I have to admit, I checked his computer a few times when he was off at work, but he always has it password-protected.
One day last week, however, he didn't lock it and I found HUGE amounts of porn on it.
My worst fears confirmed! (I'm a physically average woman and just can't compare to these very beautiful 20-something women who have obviously had multiple plastic surgeries).
I confronted him, but he refuses to talk to me about it.
I'm extremely distraught, heartbroken and seriously questioning my marriage to this man.
I love him with all my heart, but I feel so hurt and disrespected by his use of porn.
Any advice, especially from other married women who have experienced this, would be greatly appreciated. Help! Thank you.
***********
I'll post their responses as comments below.
Deleted
Their answers are pretty funny.
Deleted
My handle is HurtByPorn.
Here's my post. I'm pretty convincing, I must say. How wicked of me:).
My Husband's Porn Addiction is KILLING our Bedroom. For the Love of God, Help!
submitted 9 hours ago by HurtbyPorn
First time poster here. I'll try to keep this short.
We're both 34 and have been married for five years. Throughout our courtship and the first three years of our marriage, our sex life was wonderful and very satisfying.
That began to change about two years when his sexual interest in me began to drop off. From sex three times a week, we're now down to once a month (if I'm lucky). Even then, he almost acts as if it's a chore. Very formulaic without any passion
I find it very un-satisfying and depressing.
I began to suspect he was watching porn behind my back. I have to admit, I checked his computer a few times when he was off at work, but he always has it password-protected.
One day last week, however, he didn't lock it and I found HUGE amounts of porn on it.
My worst fears confirmed! (I'm a physically average woman and just can't compare to these very beautiful 20-something women who have obviously had multiple plastic surgeries).
I confronted him, but he refuses to talk to me about it.
I'm extremely distraught, heartbroken and seriously questioning my marriage to this man.
I love him with all my heart, but I feel so hurt and disrespected by his use of porn.
Any advice, especially from other married women who have experienced this, would be greatly appreciated. Help! Thank you.
***********
I'll post their responses as comments below.
Deleted
8 years ago
"No it is not cheating. But it is degrading and often times what he sees in porn might be expected of his girlfriend. And if she refuses she will seem unreasonable as porn has normalized the sex act." Exactly. And then he will dump you, bitch. LMAFO.
LOVE IT!! I wear this as a badge of honor and will INCREASE and INTENSIFY my wicked trolling. Oh - for Joy! (And of course I will just create two MORE Reddit accounts to compensate for the suspended ones since STOOPIDLY, Reddit doesn't require accounts to have associated e-mail accounts. Which means one can have an INFINITE number of blind Reddit accounts. Hey - I'm just playin by Reddit's rules LOL)
Here's her first DM to me, where she discusses how hurt she was when she discovered her husband's Porn Addiction.
Keep in mind, she thinks she's pouring her heart out to ANOTHER deeply hurt Porn Widow. Stupid bitch LOL.
Haven't decided yet whether to COMPLETELY blow her mind and tell her who I REALLY am:) I'll keep the illusion going at least for the short term. This is TOO MUCH FUN.
"What it comes down to at least from my experience is him seeing the devastation caused by his addiction. I was diagnosed with PTSD after my discovery of his betrayal. When he quit the porn he changed to hiding other sexual things from me. For him it was the SECRET that I think he enjoyed. Anyway. Separation is a good option. It shows the impact the addiction is having on your marriage. It also has a positive aspect when you look at it from the outside because it shows your willing to work thru it. Divorce is what most go to first when they should say separation because when you have had enough and he doesnt alter his behaviors then you want a divorce the act will have no meaning because you have tretened it before and didnt follow thru. I also recommend YOU get into therapy. It was the best thing I ever did. I still have flashes of the porn he would watch multiple times a day even not four years later but I have learned new ways to reorient myself and remind myself I am safe now and that I havent seen any indications that his addition has resurfaced. Try to fight for your marriage but no more than he is willing to fight for it. Your fight will look different than his. You need to be SO CLEAR of what you want to see changed and what it would look like if that happened. Men need very clear directions or they find a grey area to weasel into their being different. Best of luck"
https://www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/57m8y8/anyone_else_think_porn_is_cheating/
[–]mysecondlogon 2 points 6 hours ago
Well this is a real drama, he is hiding his porn from you and then not talking about it. I recently got some porn (maybe introducing porn into our marriage/sex life) and I told my wife, she knows where it is and can look at it whenever she pleases.
I think you need to talk to him in a really assertive way and explain the gravity of things, that it is at a crossroads where the current situation is untenable. He may have a problem so make sure you tell him that you support him getting help and will be part of that. And just see what happens.
What is possibly missing of course is what happened two years ago, it will be nothing to do with your 'average woman' body or indeed porn hotties, so the porn may be the result of something that is a layer deeper - which is what counseling is all about.
Good luck OP.
[–]Vavamama 1 point 2 months ago
I've been married for 39 years and can honestly say husband and I have never been bored in the bedroom. I think the reason for this is that we are interested in one another as people, best friends, and we look out for each other.
Relationships are hard because we make them that way. These days especially, more and more people don't set appropriate boundaries in and about their relationships, and then they wonder what's wrong.
A man addicted to porn isn't interesting; think of all the troubles in this world he could be solving. There's one person he should have an authentic intimacy with, and he can't manage that, then acts like its her? No, it's him. Drop him like he's NOT hot!
Response #7
[–]Dolinite1969 1 point 2 months ago
The only thing I can tell you is , he is home, WATCHING these women, not out touching them. I know its hard, I am 47 and my man does the same thing, always young women. AND one other point, they are getting older, so maybe its part of a mid life crisis. I dont know but try to be yourself. Maybe get a little wild or flirty, you try to start the sex. Tease him, do all the things you two used to do. It may or may not work, but remind him why he married you!!! And I'm sure your a beautiful woman. We all are in our own way. Dont let his "thing" bring you down..... Keep trying if you love him and dont give up
You ALWAYS knew who Lisa Ann was?!?
Why Filthy, you master game-player you.
Just full of surprises and layers of complexities, aren't you?
Full of something else too, aren't you my friend?
(Truth be told, Sexist. I always did)
Please keep those of us who've stopped by, in the Reddit loop. I suppose it's a pipe dream to imagine, when you decide to go for the big reveal, I can chime my ejaculation with yours. Yeh, that does sound a little bit creepy! You're the Porn Widow, after all
You are the stuff of nightmares, Sexist.
And you make such STRONG cums. Thank you, my friend
Porn is the Single Most Important Thing in Life. Porn is The Way and The Light and the The Truth:)
[–]winterphox 1 point 19 hours ago
Start to try and view your body as a vessel to experience the world and not as an object for your husband to admire. Two people making love is way more sensual and hot than a man fucking a pretty flesh light.
[–]MadelineItMe 1 point 22 hours ago
Yeah, how much of this are you willing to put up with?
I wouldn't give him an ultimatum, exactly, but I would tell him that this is a big problem for you and if it he doesn't at least start working on it with you, you will not be staying indefinitely. Maybe write him a letter so he can't shut you down in person, and give him a few days before you bring it up again.
I'd also do some thinking on what you actually want from him, and how realistic that is. To give up porn? Work on rekindling your sex life? What does that look like for you?
I Good luck, I hope you guys can work this out.