Once upon a time
Once upon a time it was to be all about the money and the power so I had my own business, 12 years of seasons tickets to anything ..... paid off the house, the vehicles, the land .... the dreams were in lock ....
That's some thin stuff in reality. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to have no house payment and a rental to collect on so I don't have to submit myself .... Serious dominant male trait, but that hasn't made me more attractive to females, and we are talking just sexual as well as emotional; Neither in any mix.
I'm so big and in shape ... and no not the puffy arm and leg gym bag variety, no real strength in most of those in attendance ... I go for the real ... Another dominant male trait; LOL, and that hasn't made me more attractive to females, and we are talking just sexual as well as emotional; Neither in any mix.
Over time I just decided that the left brain ... angry business man wasn't for me ... so now I'm way over in chilled out right brain world, that isn't making any new friends either, but it's way more positive and feels better.
The brutal primal sexuality is always a factor; Something I have to deal with; I'm glad I have this in me, even if no one wants to share ;)
The issue is now I wake up too early, sometimes drift off to early, and my reality, it's always the same, I'm either, too big, or too scary, or I don't have to 9-5, and now the new one TOO OLD, lol, it's a life. I just don't fit in; Sexy Older, MILF's, Sexy Younger and the Uber Young women are in mass attracted to and with some serious weak loser beta male archetypes of which half are narcissistic and half are low self esteem or some mix containing a variant percentage of both; They will never do one thing to better themselves and strait treat all woman like possessions, like bitches and like whores....There seems to always be a reason. I think the only real reason is, I just never get an understanding of what it is .....
Yesterday a friend of mine sat across from me; He had been trying to fix me up with a blind date. Not to be rude to him I listened, ugh ... painfully with a smile: I'm def not into that type of thing but I'm also not going to take lightly one of the only friends I have trying to do something positive. HA! as luck would have it, I'm too big and too scary, amazing .....
This existence makes me feel so out of place. So here I am 4:44 in the morning
That's some thin stuff in reality. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to have no house payment and a rental to collect on so I don't have to submit myself .... Serious dominant male trait, but that hasn't made me more attractive to females, and we are talking just sexual as well as emotional; Neither in any mix.
I'm so big and in shape ... and no not the puffy arm and leg gym bag variety, no real strength in most of those in attendance ... I go for the real ... Another dominant male trait; LOL, and that hasn't made me more attractive to females, and we are talking just sexual as well as emotional; Neither in any mix.
Over time I just decided that the left brain ... angry business man wasn't for me ... so now I'm way over in chilled out right brain world, that isn't making any new friends either, but it's way more positive and feels better.
The brutal primal sexuality is always a factor; Something I have to deal with; I'm glad I have this in me, even if no one wants to share ;)
The issue is now I wake up too early, sometimes drift off to early, and my reality, it's always the same, I'm either, too big, or too scary, or I don't have to 9-5, and now the new one TOO OLD, lol, it's a life. I just don't fit in; Sexy Older, MILF's, Sexy Younger and the Uber Young women are in mass attracted to and with some serious weak loser beta male archetypes of which half are narcissistic and half are low self esteem or some mix containing a variant percentage of both; They will never do one thing to better themselves and strait treat all woman like possessions, like bitches and like whores....There seems to always be a reason. I think the only real reason is, I just never get an understanding of what it is .....
Yesterday a friend of mine sat across from me; He had been trying to fix me up with a blind date. Not to be rude to him I listened, ugh ... painfully with a smile: I'm def not into that type of thing but I'm also not going to take lightly one of the only friends I have trying to do something positive. HA! as luck would have it, I'm too big and too scary, amazing .....
This existence makes me feel so out of place. So here I am 4:44 in the morning
9 years ago