Why i am the sub . . .

It happened in a crowded local bar the other night... that particular bar has a U-shaped configuration, so that you can sit on your barstool and pretty much see everyone... he was a guy taller than me and older, maybe mid-50s and a bit on the heavy side... he kept glancing my way, and i would return those glances, but not in a flirty way -- i just wanted him to know i noticed him looking at me... i'd break off the eye contact quickly enough that i wouldn't seem flirtacious, but i'd always look back his way a few moments later. Our eyes met frequently, and i noticed when he got up to leave and that was a disappointment... that deeply buried place where i keep my yearnings had been stirred up by his glances, even before i admitted it to myself !

Imagine my relief when he came walking back down the bar and took his seat on the same stool, across the bar from me at an angle to the left, where the bar curved... i guessed he'd just gone to the head to relieve himself. He gave me a quick but purposeful glance as he seated himself, the kind of look that made me burn with embarrassment -- he had me. And it dawned on me that i probably should have followed him back there in the first place.

He was drinking a cocktail and he drank it down quickly, which stirred me even more because i could tell his interest was what made him do it so fast like that. He glanced my way and held the look just a wee bit longer than he'd been holding it, and so did i, returning his look openly now. And very the next time he stood up and walked back to the john, well... no surprise i followed.

There are two urinals in there, both of them those kind that have their drains down in the floor, the kind that are half again as tall as most guys are... i could have stood inside one ! No one was standing at the one beside his... i did the move i'd been dreaming of... reached in and took out both my testes AND my prick AND let an obvious bit of my lingerie lace come out, too... i stared at the wall but out the corner of my eyes i could tell he was taking notice.

i knew it was coming but it was all i could do to stay still when he reached over and put his large hand down there... if i would have flinched i don't know what would have happened then, but as it was it was like i was already surrendering to him... i leaned into his touch and he said i had nice balls, and he added that he was in the red van out back... he was toying with my genitals firmly enough that i was becoming hard but he stopped doing that and i watched as he shook his thick cock off and tucked it and zipped his fly... lighting wasn't all that good back there but it seemed pretty clear his cock was more than a good deal larger than my own. He left.

i found his van easy enough. It had space in the back where we couldn't be seen. His groin smelled like he'd been in the bar awhile, and his cock still had a urine flavor to it, but i kept from actually gagging on that thick spigot by not taking it all in, even though he had that urgency about him -- he really wanted to do a number on me ! i would only take about half of it and used my lips to work the head real good and licked his length greedily with my flat wet tongue and he came pretty quick, a goodly amount of sour jizz that came out in burps & bursts... it was great but i think he didn't want to cum that fast !

i don't know why i didn't go back with him to his place, which he said wasn't far... maybe i just was afraid... he was a big guy and that huge, meaty cock of his probably gave me pause, too ! Let's just say i chickened out . . .

but i'll be watching for him if the next time ever happens... i kind of like it that we have unfinished business, oh yeah . . .

So now today i'm just wondering why i didn't at least get his phone number... my daytime fantasies are giving me no relief -- i didn't risk even taking his fat cock past my uvula, afraid i might start gagging... he might have enjoyed that! and no, he didn't even try to make me do anything more, didn't even jack me off or anything... i went back in the bar afraid of my own shadow, and even started wondering about the women in the bar... i do go both ways. i must have sat there for half an hour or so before i even realized i hadn't had my own cock sucked... what a total jerk.

today i'm horny as hell, just remembering that fat, heavy cock of his... such a total beauty . . .

And that’s why i'm the sub, i suppose...

And why whatever i did today, wherever I went, the memory of him loomed over me, a big shadow i was unable to get away from... all alone now, and helplessly nailed to myself, recalling what it felt like to lick along his length, to wrap my lips around his girth... forgot all about myself while i abetted his urgencies... fearing him, servicing him... loving being wholeheartedly his oral release valve, my mouth wholly at his disposal for a few quickie minutes in the dark chill in the back of his red van... but then fleeing the van in my fear, such a chicken, and wholly unsatisfied and wanting more of it nonetheless all day today... wondering about him and if he gives me even a second thought today and whether or not he wants me again... his creamy/sour taste and the way that taste burst and burped and drained forth onto my flat tongue was and remains the central tension and so totally the unforgettable thing... knowing for sure that if i ever see him again i'll be even MORE vulnerable, MORE available, utterly and wholly unable to resist his Furtherings -- if only !

and that's why i'm the sub... and that's why i'm the sub...