I HATE Porn!!!!!!!!*

(*That got your attention, didn't it?:) Relax. This is a spoof)

I’m crying, miserable and at my wit's end.
My marriage is falling apart.
I’m going to divorce my husband.
And it's all because of Porn.


When we first got married a few years ago, we had a great sex life. We were intimate five, six days a week.


Then,after about a year, things started to change. Our sex life started to fall off. The few times we did have sex, he seemed strangely distant.


I started pressing him for an explanation. He would always say he was always too tired or too stressed from work. He started to spend more and more time alone in his Man Cave. With the door shut.


One day, after he left for work, I have to admit, I spied on him. I went into his Man Cave. On his computer screen was a still photo of a very Beautiful Woman. Somebody named Madison Ivy. I broke out in a cold sweat, feeling very insecure. Being short, plain-looking and overweight, I've always had terrible self-esteem issues. She was everything I've always wished I could be.


The next thing I knew, three, four, five, six months passed without my husband touching me once.
.

I'm not very smart, but I'm not completely stupid. I knew what was going on. My dear, beloved husband had somehow turned into a Porn Addict.


And I had become a - what's horrible expression? - a Porn Widow.


I got up the nerve to confront him. He swore he'd never look at porn again. That quickly turned out to be a LIE.


I became horribly depressed. The Porn women he masturbated to every night were so gorgeous. I could never compare or compete with them.


Resentful, he started getting very passive aggressive with his Porn Habits.


Finally, I threatened divorce. He laughed in my face.


He knew I would never leave him. It's now been five years since we've had any sex. We're basically platonic roommates now. I',m miserable, but he seems perfectly content.


The finally indignation is that I've given up on any hope of a normal sex wife with my husband again and have become a porn addict myself.


I asked him if we could at least watch Porn together and masturbate as a couple. He slammed the door of his Porn Cave in my face.I now feel suicidal.


Porn killed my bedroom and my marriage.


I HATE PORN! Someone, Dear God, help me. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!