Strap-on sex - Why is so hard for women to accept?
As a straight guy, who has never experienced any kind of strap-on or simmiliar in bedroom activities, I'm of ashamed at this point and also afraid to come out here. Since I've first time seen strap-on in a video, few years ago, I cannot stop thinking about trying it out. I find it very attractive and a great turn-on, but when it comes to actually trying it out..it becomes complicated. Very complicated.
I've came out to my ex. girlfriend few years back with it, and we even tried it once with her vibrator. Actually it wasn't pounding as you can see it in hardcore videos, but.."we tried it". After that, she was disgusted. She didn't wanted to do it again. She made me feel ashamed of my sexuality and my sexual orientation(?). There wasn't any kind of any accidents or anything like that, she just felt it gross and thought, it is not a thing for straight men. Which made me feel guilty and feel bad for her.
After a break-up, she..even told people around, what I like and we tried..which made me feel even worse after all. But I moved to another city where I know less people. Life moved on and I've got a new girlfriend. SHe is sweet, awesome, great person..but when it comes to sex, here it stops. Few positions and that's it. Using a dildo for her(!) at sex or wearing sexy lingerie...that would be already a thing, that she wouldn't do in a lifetime. Asking for a strap-on? Not even in million years and I'd be single in few following seconds.
So my question here is: Why is it so hard to accept for woman, that even men sometimes like to feel less-powered and sub-ordinate to a woman(..not into BDSM..or perhaps that too..) by that kind of sex? I don't want to force women to do that, that'd be very inappropriate thing to do from many points of view, but just accept that fact?
I cannot, although I really wish to, feel that moment of being a grabbed around hips and pulled toward woman's hips and be pushed away. It would make me feel myself. And felt less-powered toward woman.
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I've came out to my ex. girlfriend few years back with it, and we even tried it once with her vibrator. Actually it wasn't pounding as you can see it in hardcore videos, but.."we tried it". After that, she was disgusted. She didn't wanted to do it again. She made me feel ashamed of my sexuality and my sexual orientation(?). There wasn't any kind of any accidents or anything like that, she just felt it gross and thought, it is not a thing for straight men. Which made me feel guilty and feel bad for her.
After a break-up, she..even told people around, what I like and we tried..which made me feel even worse after all. But I moved to another city where I know less people. Life moved on and I've got a new girlfriend. SHe is sweet, awesome, great person..but when it comes to sex, here it stops. Few positions and that's it. Using a dildo for her(!) at sex or wearing sexy lingerie...that would be already a thing, that she wouldn't do in a lifetime. Asking for a strap-on? Not even in million years and I'd be single in few following seconds.
So my question here is: Why is it so hard to accept for woman, that even men sometimes like to feel less-powered and sub-ordinate to a woman(..not into BDSM..or perhaps that too..) by that kind of sex? I don't want to force women to do that, that'd be very inappropriate thing to do from many points of view, but just accept that fact?
I cannot, although I really wish to, feel that moment of being a grabbed around hips and pulled toward woman's hips and be pushed away. It would make me feel myself. And felt less-powered toward woman.
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10 years ago
I'm rarely submissive when I take my girlfriend up my arse. I ride whatever she's using like I'm in charge. Occasionally she likes to fuck the shit out of me and that's fine, I'll role play along with it. Just enjoying anal stimulation doesn't make you gay, submissive, a bitch or weird. It's your own mind that determines your power (or lack of) in the act.
Personally I've found slightly older women (ie out of their twenties) to be more accepting of giving anal, but then again that could be because everyone becomes filthier the older they get.
I'm out of the game now, but in all honesty I just would not stay with a partner who wasn't dirty and/or accepting of my desire for kink. It's not worth the mental anguish to be with someone who doesn't fulfill your sexual needs, especially a woman. I mean fuck me dead, how much of our lives do we give over to them...
Bottom line is if your partner is stopping you from doing something (anything, not just sex) that you want to do in life you need to fuck them off and move on. There are tons of people out there that will match your needs, and if you want a long term relationship where the guy is happy, you need to find a girl that allows you to enjoy those needs. SO many guys just accept shitty infrequent sex and are miserable in their relationships. Don't join them. I've been there and it fucking sucks.
Yes, but if we'd be more picky, we'd be without sex much more time afterall
Are you trying to say, it's better to get yourself an escort than come out to your partner?
If that's your point, you've missed the whole thing here.
I'd agree on that, we certanly should be more picky. But here's the fact, that there will ALWAYS be women, who will pick us(which, unfortunatelly, we can't change).
ps: I'm sorry, I won't discuss "ditch her" on here.
We as males should be more picky on which women out there we will accept as our wives. They need to show us they will fulfill our needs. Not just their own by saying no all the time. Ditch her. I know you won't. But if you did. You would be relieved and seeks the kind of woman you actually would like. SHE would keep you secret to herse
Unfortunately, yes. Yes, we still judge too much.
Thanks for the comment, appriciate it!
Are you planning to sell that strap-on now?
@will4435:
I don't think this works with everyone...specially if you're not watching porn together at all.
@domavn:
thx.
@silver-nitrate:
well, it's not easy to live somewhere, where all that kinds of stuff isn't very popular..and mockery.
It's hard to come out to anyone(I haven't to anyone since ex.) because of exact this reason. It's not that simple to "feel normal" with that.
I could agree with your missus. Well..I was told from someone with a strap-on experience: "It's not gay to be pounded. It's gay to kiss and hold hands.". We're not here to judge, just to make things clear.
It might me hetero-bi somehow..it's taking something (although it' artifical) that already you have. I'd say it's exactly the same, as woman would be using fleshlight in scissors
Khm..excouse me, the P-spot?