What It Takes
WHAT IT TAKES
Phone Girl, Massage Girl, Club Stripper, Hostess, Adult Model, Travel Companion, Private Entertainer, Webcam Girl, escort, Porn. Whats common between them...? All of them are a part of what is loosely called the sex business. Some girls go all the way to Porn, some stop at various levels. Some are not very happy with the exposure say a webcam brings...some swear by the safety that it brings. To each her own. Having been involved in almost all of these at some time or the other, I have seen that certain characteristics and thought processes make it easier to make oneself a success.
1. You need to be always aware that you are in it for the pleasure of Men. You are there to fulfil His fantasies. If they are pleased, you are successful. Whatever it is that you do, the experience needs to be fun, enjoyable and relaxing, more particularly for him. Simple.
2. Be completely Uninhibited, experimental, passionate and fun loving. Sweet, naughty and loving life to the fullest. You are in it so that he has his fun. Let his wish be your command. Make the experience delightful and memorable for him. You got to understand that in this line of work, in many ways, everyone is a pervert. Its just a matter of accepting that. Put a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye.
3. Men are Visual creatures. Your clothes need to be sexy and short. As much of your skin should be visible, as possible. Thats what excites Men. Heels less than a four inches are a strict no no. Skirts need to be mid thigh or higher. Try experimenting, go around without a bra, without panties. Think Fishnets, Thongs, Lacy Panties. Wear thinner material, so that Men can admire more.
4. Always wear makeup irrespective of how beautiful you naturally are. Eyes need to be dark, smoky and inviting. Nails need to be naturally as long as possible and freshly painted. Along with toe nails. Hair looks good only on the head. Remove it from all other places, let your skin be silky smooth. Think Bright Red Lips, Long false eyelashes, Manicures and Pedicures, Hair extensions.
5. Treat whatever you are doing as a way of life rather than a job. Let Pleasure be your passion. In real life, outside of your club or webcam place, get to be more and more like your persona in your work place. That will make you a natural, and it's benefits will show in your workplace. Always dress to impress, and enjoy the attention and admiring glances. And Stares.
6. I got into smoking and drinking at an early age, and I realised that many of my clients appreciated that they were with someone who would join them at those levels too. You need to take your own decision. Of course, I stay away from d**gs, and recommend the same to everyone I know. Some club owners and others like girls who are into d**gs for their own reasons. d**g dependency and the financial and other costs it brings, makes these girls vulnerable take decisions against their free will.
7. Subscribe to some newspapers and Magazines, Watch News on TV. While no one hires you for your intellect, having one helps. Having a good knowledge of happenings in the world, books, fashion trends etc is always helpful. Remember, its not just Sex, its also companionship, its also reassurance. And Intelligence is sexy too...!
8. Maintain great relations with your co workers and clients. Always text back, always call back or reply with a text.
9. Maintain good accounts. Be sure of what you have financially. Take good financial advise. Its cheaper than handling it yourself.
10. Always maintain notes. What you wore the last time...what excited him more....what made him happy.
11. Keep some numbers of people that you can trust at all times, handy. Always carry a mobile with a decent charge. Keep atleast two separate phones: One for work related contacts and another for all others.
12. Also always keep a car handy, should the need to exit a situation suddenly arise. Always keep some money, should some police or other case arise.
13. Watch your diet, eat healthy. More particularly since the product you are marketing is your Body, get health checks conducted regularly.
14. In the long term, that nose job or that perky big tit look are a must. But if you have the right mentality, you can make things work even by delaying this part. But you should be clear that eventually you need it.
15. Deliver more. That tender kiss, that soft bite, that naughty lick when he is least expecting it.
16. Learn how to talk dirty. When watching porn, learn to make it interactive, how old do you think the babe is? Her tits look so nice in his mouth...you want to try it too?. Dont be boring. If he wants to give you some dirty names, and revels in calling you a fuck toy, cum dump, or whatever else, encourage him. Dirty talking would keep reminding him of you. Great for repeat encounters.
17. Know your kinks. And try to break past your cocoons and grow out. Expand your comfort zone. Real Fun only happens outside your comfort zone. If you are in a club job and meet a great guy who wants you in his hotel, and you have never done this before, at least consider it. Never think about what others would think. Soon that may become another revenue stream for you. Similarly, understand the kinks of your partner. If he can afford a threesome or foursome, and you are ok with it too, encourage him. If you are not ok with it, ask yourself what is it that is holding you back. And whether you want to break out of that mould and expand your comfort level. And why not. In many cases, peer pressure would also make you expand your services on offer. A few years back, Anal sex was not always expected. Today, when everyone does Anal, can you afford to refuse? There was once a choice between spitting out and swallowing. Today, when everyone swallows, there is no real choice.
18. My suggestion would be to price your services appropriately and differentiate on the services rather than the pricing. Cast a spell of raw sensuality. Be a playground for fantasy, desire, love and passion. Play the enchantress and seductress. Be Flirty and Fun. Be Sensual and Sexy. Wear premium clothes and Premium shoes and Scents. Spend on your makeup and grooming. And charge for what you have to offer.
19. Be comfortable with your body and staying in the nude. Start a profile on some website and keep making it bolder and bolder. Add pics of whatever you are comfortable with. Make them bolder over time too. See how far you want to go. See what stops you from going all the way.
20. Your purse should always have A small Makeup kit, Lipstick, Sunglasses, A mini vibrator, An erotic novel, Cigarettes, Lighter, Cell phone, Some money, Mobile, Black Eyeliner, some perfume, and Of course, Ya, I havenāt forgotten, condoms.
21. Have a healthy attitude towards sex. Be keen on experimenting, trying out new positions and techniques. Have the excitement and the enthusiasm. You need to have the passion and the fire in the eyes, as you go down on him, or go to town with him. Whether its blowjobs or sex, there's more to it than just In and Out. You need to lick, suck, massage, kiss, blow and tease. And more. At the end of the day, if you are going to hate yourself for doing your job, its not worth it. You need to genuinely believe that you are adding value to Guy's lives and making them better.
22. Look at yourself as a Business woman who is providing a service. Like any other Woman who is an entrepreneur. That Men are ready to part with their money to have you should build your confidence and self esteem. When a man is paying you, it obviously shows how desirable you are. Exude Confidence.
23. Sometimes sex related work tends to be viewed negatively, and even the girls into it start believing all that. The girl is just providing a service, like a doctor or a lawyer or an auto mechanic does. If the Guy wants to do it and the Girl wants to do it too, how can it be wrong? Have you heard of a crime, where no one is complaining? Only direct competition hates these jobs. Wives. And of course the Religious fundamentalists. And once you have thought out your course, and got into it, remember, there is no point in resisting anymore. If you are with one client or hundreds, in one video or hundreds, it does not make a difference. So Accept your new life, and the moment you accept it, it becomes enjoyable. Know and accept your new place, your new role, that of being Fun. Let you life revolve around Pleasure, Fun, Guys and Sex. Awesome things will happen once you stop being miserable.
24. Have an appropriate worldview and your place in it. For example, I believe that sex is nice and pleasure is good. I generally concern myself only with things that I enjoy. I believe in having fun and just not even giving a passing thought to what other people think. I love to have sex for money, favors, gifts or just pleasure. If someone calls me loose, I realise that its because I am getting all the guys that they want. I believe in the credo that Do whatever you want in life as long as you don't hurt yourself or anyone else in the process. I believe that I need to give myself over to the one I am with completely. My focus is to please those Iām with.
25. If you are new to this field, then practice. This could assume various forms, for example, if you are going out to meet a stranger, having cyber sex with him earlier, can ease the transition. Then the physical meeting no longer feels like the first time. Once you are comparatively experienced, share your tricks with girls who are now joining in. Remember, Girls need guidance. Guys just need permission.
26. Smile a lot. Its the sexiest curve on your body. Have an open, relaxed body language. Loosen up. Keep things positive. Let him feel that you are enjoying it as much as he is. Even if you are not getting as much pleasure as you hoped to, or something is causing a distraction in the pleasure, fake it. You cant be beautiful if you are grumpy.
27. Try to create a sexual perspective for most things. Think sexy. Be sexy. I was once wearing huge round hoops in my ears. A more experienced friend suggested that I could get them shaped like a heart, to lend that sexual tone. As you try to give everything sexual overtones, your mind starts getting transformed. You learn that you are born to make a Guy's dick hard. And his life pleasurable.
28. Try to get atleast a few Regulars, who will regularly buy your services. Give them bulk rates, as happens with any other product. This will give you stability and assured cash flows. If you are into escorting for example, you need to have a few Regulars, who will take up atleast a few nights a month. Or you could have a Sugar Daddy come and fill up that role for say a week a month. Become his d**g.
29. Try to get the word No out of your vocabulary. If it does not hurt you, go for it. If he wants to put it in your butt, whats wrong with that? Everyone does it. If he wants you to wear a four inch skirt when going out, why not? Did we not play Dress up when we were seven? Reclaim the Fun. Also, remember, if you have a No for too many things, you are not the only pebble on the beach. There are other Girls eager to do all that, and more. So, its in your own interest to try to avoid saying a No.
30. Open his mind to new pleasures and desires. Delight him, surprise him, stimulate him, nurture him, tease him, arouse him, tempt him. And when you leave, he needs to have the broadest smile on his face he has ever had. Giving him a wonderful time and having a wonderful time yourself is the key. Have Fun.
Phone Girl, Massage Girl, Club Stripper, Hostess, Adult Model, Travel Companion, Private Entertainer, Webcam Girl, escort, Porn. Whats common between them...? All of them are a part of what is loosely called the sex business. Some girls go all the way to Porn, some stop at various levels. Some are not very happy with the exposure say a webcam brings...some swear by the safety that it brings. To each her own. Having been involved in almost all of these at some time or the other, I have seen that certain characteristics and thought processes make it easier to make oneself a success.
1. You need to be always aware that you are in it for the pleasure of Men. You are there to fulfil His fantasies. If they are pleased, you are successful. Whatever it is that you do, the experience needs to be fun, enjoyable and relaxing, more particularly for him. Simple.
2. Be completely Uninhibited, experimental, passionate and fun loving. Sweet, naughty and loving life to the fullest. You are in it so that he has his fun. Let his wish be your command. Make the experience delightful and memorable for him. You got to understand that in this line of work, in many ways, everyone is a pervert. Its just a matter of accepting that. Put a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye.
3. Men are Visual creatures. Your clothes need to be sexy and short. As much of your skin should be visible, as possible. Thats what excites Men. Heels less than a four inches are a strict no no. Skirts need to be mid thigh or higher. Try experimenting, go around without a bra, without panties. Think Fishnets, Thongs, Lacy Panties. Wear thinner material, so that Men can admire more.
4. Always wear makeup irrespective of how beautiful you naturally are. Eyes need to be dark, smoky and inviting. Nails need to be naturally as long as possible and freshly painted. Along with toe nails. Hair looks good only on the head. Remove it from all other places, let your skin be silky smooth. Think Bright Red Lips, Long false eyelashes, Manicures and Pedicures, Hair extensions.
5. Treat whatever you are doing as a way of life rather than a job. Let Pleasure be your passion. In real life, outside of your club or webcam place, get to be more and more like your persona in your work place. That will make you a natural, and it's benefits will show in your workplace. Always dress to impress, and enjoy the attention and admiring glances. And Stares.
6. I got into smoking and drinking at an early age, and I realised that many of my clients appreciated that they were with someone who would join them at those levels too. You need to take your own decision. Of course, I stay away from d**gs, and recommend the same to everyone I know. Some club owners and others like girls who are into d**gs for their own reasons. d**g dependency and the financial and other costs it brings, makes these girls vulnerable take decisions against their free will.
7. Subscribe to some newspapers and Magazines, Watch News on TV. While no one hires you for your intellect, having one helps. Having a good knowledge of happenings in the world, books, fashion trends etc is always helpful. Remember, its not just Sex, its also companionship, its also reassurance. And Intelligence is sexy too...!
8. Maintain great relations with your co workers and clients. Always text back, always call back or reply with a text.
9. Maintain good accounts. Be sure of what you have financially. Take good financial advise. Its cheaper than handling it yourself.
10. Always maintain notes. What you wore the last time...what excited him more....what made him happy.
11. Keep some numbers of people that you can trust at all times, handy. Always carry a mobile with a decent charge. Keep atleast two separate phones: One for work related contacts and another for all others.
12. Also always keep a car handy, should the need to exit a situation suddenly arise. Always keep some money, should some police or other case arise.
13. Watch your diet, eat healthy. More particularly since the product you are marketing is your Body, get health checks conducted regularly.
14. In the long term, that nose job or that perky big tit look are a must. But if you have the right mentality, you can make things work even by delaying this part. But you should be clear that eventually you need it.
15. Deliver more. That tender kiss, that soft bite, that naughty lick when he is least expecting it.
16. Learn how to talk dirty. When watching porn, learn to make it interactive, how old do you think the babe is? Her tits look so nice in his mouth...you want to try it too?. Dont be boring. If he wants to give you some dirty names, and revels in calling you a fuck toy, cum dump, or whatever else, encourage him. Dirty talking would keep reminding him of you. Great for repeat encounters.
17. Know your kinks. And try to break past your cocoons and grow out. Expand your comfort zone. Real Fun only happens outside your comfort zone. If you are in a club job and meet a great guy who wants you in his hotel, and you have never done this before, at least consider it. Never think about what others would think. Soon that may become another revenue stream for you. Similarly, understand the kinks of your partner. If he can afford a threesome or foursome, and you are ok with it too, encourage him. If you are not ok with it, ask yourself what is it that is holding you back. And whether you want to break out of that mould and expand your comfort level. And why not. In many cases, peer pressure would also make you expand your services on offer. A few years back, Anal sex was not always expected. Today, when everyone does Anal, can you afford to refuse? There was once a choice between spitting out and swallowing. Today, when everyone swallows, there is no real choice.
18. My suggestion would be to price your services appropriately and differentiate on the services rather than the pricing. Cast a spell of raw sensuality. Be a playground for fantasy, desire, love and passion. Play the enchantress and seductress. Be Flirty and Fun. Be Sensual and Sexy. Wear premium clothes and Premium shoes and Scents. Spend on your makeup and grooming. And charge for what you have to offer.
19. Be comfortable with your body and staying in the nude. Start a profile on some website and keep making it bolder and bolder. Add pics of whatever you are comfortable with. Make them bolder over time too. See how far you want to go. See what stops you from going all the way.
20. Your purse should always have A small Makeup kit, Lipstick, Sunglasses, A mini vibrator, An erotic novel, Cigarettes, Lighter, Cell phone, Some money, Mobile, Black Eyeliner, some perfume, and Of course, Ya, I havenāt forgotten, condoms.
21. Have a healthy attitude towards sex. Be keen on experimenting, trying out new positions and techniques. Have the excitement and the enthusiasm. You need to have the passion and the fire in the eyes, as you go down on him, or go to town with him. Whether its blowjobs or sex, there's more to it than just In and Out. You need to lick, suck, massage, kiss, blow and tease. And more. At the end of the day, if you are going to hate yourself for doing your job, its not worth it. You need to genuinely believe that you are adding value to Guy's lives and making them better.
22. Look at yourself as a Business woman who is providing a service. Like any other Woman who is an entrepreneur. That Men are ready to part with their money to have you should build your confidence and self esteem. When a man is paying you, it obviously shows how desirable you are. Exude Confidence.
23. Sometimes sex related work tends to be viewed negatively, and even the girls into it start believing all that. The girl is just providing a service, like a doctor or a lawyer or an auto mechanic does. If the Guy wants to do it and the Girl wants to do it too, how can it be wrong? Have you heard of a crime, where no one is complaining? Only direct competition hates these jobs. Wives. And of course the Religious fundamentalists. And once you have thought out your course, and got into it, remember, there is no point in resisting anymore. If you are with one client or hundreds, in one video or hundreds, it does not make a difference. So Accept your new life, and the moment you accept it, it becomes enjoyable. Know and accept your new place, your new role, that of being Fun. Let you life revolve around Pleasure, Fun, Guys and Sex. Awesome things will happen once you stop being miserable.
24. Have an appropriate worldview and your place in it. For example, I believe that sex is nice and pleasure is good. I generally concern myself only with things that I enjoy. I believe in having fun and just not even giving a passing thought to what other people think. I love to have sex for money, favors, gifts or just pleasure. If someone calls me loose, I realise that its because I am getting all the guys that they want. I believe in the credo that Do whatever you want in life as long as you don't hurt yourself or anyone else in the process. I believe that I need to give myself over to the one I am with completely. My focus is to please those Iām with.
25. If you are new to this field, then practice. This could assume various forms, for example, if you are going out to meet a stranger, having cyber sex with him earlier, can ease the transition. Then the physical meeting no longer feels like the first time. Once you are comparatively experienced, share your tricks with girls who are now joining in. Remember, Girls need guidance. Guys just need permission.
26. Smile a lot. Its the sexiest curve on your body. Have an open, relaxed body language. Loosen up. Keep things positive. Let him feel that you are enjoying it as much as he is. Even if you are not getting as much pleasure as you hoped to, or something is causing a distraction in the pleasure, fake it. You cant be beautiful if you are grumpy.
27. Try to create a sexual perspective for most things. Think sexy. Be sexy. I was once wearing huge round hoops in my ears. A more experienced friend suggested that I could get them shaped like a heart, to lend that sexual tone. As you try to give everything sexual overtones, your mind starts getting transformed. You learn that you are born to make a Guy's dick hard. And his life pleasurable.
28. Try to get atleast a few Regulars, who will regularly buy your services. Give them bulk rates, as happens with any other product. This will give you stability and assured cash flows. If you are into escorting for example, you need to have a few Regulars, who will take up atleast a few nights a month. Or you could have a Sugar Daddy come and fill up that role for say a week a month. Become his d**g.
29. Try to get the word No out of your vocabulary. If it does not hurt you, go for it. If he wants to put it in your butt, whats wrong with that? Everyone does it. If he wants you to wear a four inch skirt when going out, why not? Did we not play Dress up when we were seven? Reclaim the Fun. Also, remember, if you have a No for too many things, you are not the only pebble on the beach. There are other Girls eager to do all that, and more. So, its in your own interest to try to avoid saying a No.
30. Open his mind to new pleasures and desires. Delight him, surprise him, stimulate him, nurture him, tease him, arouse him, tempt him. And when you leave, he needs to have the broadest smile on his face he has ever had. Giving him a wonderful time and having a wonderful time yourself is the key. Have Fun.
10 years ago
The list just grew to 21. It was shorter in the version I sent to you earlier and after incorporating your suggestions it just grew to 21. Ofcourse there is no question of being a know it all. Just my take on things. I am sure there are far better takes available if one cared to ask the right people.
I have no illusion that this will get me additional business. When one says that Guys are visual, theres also a reason for that. Its such a huge shortcut. It hardly takes any time to decide. Reading is so time consuming, and mostly boring. I would be surprised if someone came over to me because he liked this post....!!! One beauty of this field is that communication is not even necessary. My friend was just narrating to me her experiences with a Russian client last weekend, who did not know a word of English. My friend did not know a word of Russian, and yet the two hit it off so well, spending an entire weekend together....
21 items are a lot to digest. And I hope that a LOT of girls read and take at least some of your ideas to heart. Some might say that you're being kind of snooty or "know-it-all" by listing all of these suggestions. Ignore the naysayers. Let them produce their own lists of do's and don't's if they have some set of contraries.
Also, it will be interesting to see what other males say after reading your commentary. You might get additional business either at your strip club or just escort gigs! Thanks for your honest presentation of whoring.