Jerks Being Rude to Hamsters

Jerk: Noun. Rude and abusive registered member of xHamster. Thinks his or her shit doesn't stink. Very often seen heaping abuse and/or ridicule on the profile pages of Hamsters. Likes to impose elaborate rules and regulations for others to follow. The harder to follow, the better.

Hamster: Noun. A registered member of xHamster without avatar, uploads, galleries, and very often, without even displayed favorites or any comments. Target of choice for Jerks. Likes to collect friends. The more friends collected, the better.



Now, I can understand that few here wish to befriend Hamsters. What's the point? After all, they have nothing to share on a porn sharing site. Most don't even have anything to say, and they prove it over vast spans of time by saying little or nothing. Sending friend invites is apparently their sole form of interaction on xHamster.

So why, then, do so many (mostly Jerks) feel it necessary to bitch and moan and fuss and curse and carry-on at length on the profile pages of Hamsters? Hamsters who will very likely never even read - let alone reply to or comply with - their vitriolic diatribes, expletives, admonishments, lectures, and demands to "READ MY RULES!!!1"

I actually love getting friendship invitations from Hamsters. I go to their profile pages and see the Jerks being Jerks in their natural habitat. It's sad and entertaining at the same time.



Let's look at just one example, shall we?

Jerk to Hamster: "Dude... 675 days old, and Zero comments, Zero content or saved Favorites.. Sorry dude.. Go fuck yourself.. Next time take the time to read my fucking profile u fucking asshole.."

It begins harmlessly enough, and this Jerk might have stopped at "Sorry dude..." and it would have made a nice and more-or-less polite refusal. But no, he had to start in with the abusive language. Alas, Jerks cannot do otherwise. They are slaves to their own laughable sense of self-importance and to their sneering contempt for Hamsters.

When moving on to this particular Jerk's own profile page, I couldn't help noticing a thing or three:

1. One of this Jerk's many rules states (in bold, underlined ALLCAPS, of course), ""

After reading that I couldn't help noticing that the Jerk's avatar is a DICK avatar. And his uploaded galleries include titles like, "Tributes," and "More of my cock," etc. What is the lesson here? The lesson here is that many Jerks are hypocrites too. Hypocrites who spell and punctuate poorly.

2. This Jerk has been a member for a couple of years and has uploaded a grand total of 12, poor quality (IMO) vids. That's an average of one upload every two months. Five of them are 2 minutes long or less. Hmmm. Better than a Hamster, I guess. Marginally.

3. "[BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH] ...If your an outright pervert.. Send me an invite
"

Still can't spell, still a hypocrite, and now presenting unsolvable paradoxes to every Hamster under the sun! Either we're outright perverts (with or without avatars, uploaded content, favorites or comments) or we're not! If we are, let us the fuck in! If we're not, don't! Jeez!



Of course, not every comment on a Hamster's profile page is from a Jerk. Some are from Human Beings who recognize that other Human Beings have feelings that can be hurt. Even when they're invite rejections, they try to be positive and encouraging.

Here's my carefully crafted and admittedly non-Jerk reply to Hamster friend invitations:

"Thanks for asking, but I don't add blank profiles. However, I do save avatarless profile friend invites for 30 days before declining them. If you upload an avatar in that time I'll gladly add you."

I know, I know. My Inner Jerk needs work.