My absense

This is the second time I have have had to write this message. So many men reached out to me I was shocked. I owe them all an apology. I work hard to respond to each blog comment I receive. I even work hard to respond to comments on my page. The task of simply re-reading that message and telling men thank you for supporting me hurt to damn bad. I should have made it my number one priority. But I failed. I understand if men lost respect for me because I couldn't simply say thank you.

I am a damn good woman who busts her ass to start each month focusing on the men who offer me kindness and support. You can't understand ho hard it is to face the fact that life makes me unreliable and unable to do simple things people take for-granted. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm fighting a d**g company to provide me a stimulant designed for narcolepsy. If I can get that medicine I can stop writing blogs warning men I have no ability to communicate until I get a refill.

I tried with all my heart to respond to a message from a man that has become my best friend. It was heartbreaking. I had no ability to communicate. When I gave up trying my lack of coordination made me bust my ass and hurt myself real bad. It may have taken me an hour to get back up and return to bed. This morning I woke up determined to try again. I poured my heart and soul into that message. The few men who read chapter 2 knew I spent my time trying to get support. Over and over I was called a waste of time, a whore, a con-artist, a comment whore and more. One man accused me of being a man after he sent me a message that asked me 'how young I was when I began to masturbate?' My response was outrage that a complete stranger would ask me that question without even saying hello first. He tried to inform me this was a porn site. Then he told me my response is proof that I am a comment whore and I must be a man.

I explained to my best friend that a man who declared love for me attacked me in a message that was uncalled for. I thought he would be proud of me for the way I handled the situation. Instead of focusing on my mental and physical pain he defended the man. In many ways it hurt worse than being attacked out of the blue for no reason. He offered no words of comfort for hurting myself real fucking bad the first time I tried to leave him a message. He truly let me down for missing the point and defending another man who hurt me instead of focusing on what matters.

Do not be offended if you read chapter 2 and i did not immdiately add you to my skpe list. I will as soon as i am able to function again. The past few days have proved I can barely walk straight without falling down. I can't start new friendships until I have medicine again. I can't let people into my life until I can talk to them. I can't help but wish I could live a normal life. I wish I could work a simple job, devote myself to one man and be a mother. Being disabled means that life is not an option for me. I don't know when I will get the stimulant I need jst to meet new people who now understand my issues.

I know I am too much for most men to handle. In two or three weeks they will forget about me and I have to start from scratch. All I can ask a man to do is be patient. I always return. In many ways I return a better woman. Men rarely give me a second chance. It is their loss. A medical condition few people understand motivates me to live each day as if it is my last. I will continue telling my story. I will return to camsx. I will return to writing erotica. Nothing stops me until I run out of medication and I can barely walk must less communicate. This is a temporary goodbye. It is not me being unreliable. It is an illness. I promise you the moment I get my medicine I will dedicate myself to the men who choose to read my story. I don't tell it to get money for nothing. This a porn site. Yet it is the best forum I have discovered to meet new friends who offer me support. I will be back. Even though I can't prove it men who give me support are rewarded for something as simple as reading and saying a few kind words. I will be back and better than ever.