Me and my big mouth

I had a salutary lesson this weekend regarding the limitations placed upon showing respect for this site's female membership. I decided to visit the webcam page of one of my Xhamster friends, *******, and noticed immediately that she was coming under some less than polite pressure from one of her audience. He was repeatedly yapping at her to "show the pink" and became somewhat agitated when the only pink she displayed to camera was her camisole.

I found his attitude somewhat unpleasant and suggested he could at least preface his demands with the word "please", at which juncture he pointed out that I had no right to criticise him because I hadn't purchased any of the tokens with which members of her audience could show their appreciation (rather in the way guys at strip clubs toss dollar bills at the girls on stage). In this, he was entirely correct, and I imagine that from his point of view, my comments were completely out of order. After all, he had paid good money (10 cents per token) for the right to treat this woman like a subservient piece of meat, and he was damned well going to exercise that privilege. I, on the other hand, was an uppity party crasher who should shut the fuck up and keep my liberal opinions to myself.

What surprised me at the time, but which in hindsight should have occurred to me as inevitable, was that ******* immediately blocked me from her account. After all, this holier than thou evangelist for rudimentary manners was interfering with her revenue stream. From that perspective, her decision to banish me was not only understandable, but vital to the continuing fortune of her web presence. I had stupidly placed my smug sense of political correctness in the path of her capitalist imperative, and the latter was always going to emerge victorious.

So, what lessons have I taken from this debacle? Firstly, a reminder that respect is a mutable concept: almost every job involves at least some sacrifice of it. Secondly, never step between a woman and her punter, even if he's being an arsehole. And finally, there are times when it's best to keep my mouth shut and just enjoy the show.

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Postscript: One month after the incident decribed above, I was welcomed back into the young lady's webcam room. In view of this, I've redacted her username, although I believe the issues raised here remain valid.

Published by rodent1
11 years ago
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18
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octoberdogg
This has happened to me here before too (well, I was invited to said friend's camroom BECAUSE there was one guy who was being a particular single IQ asshole). Jeez, just because someone throws a few tokens a camgirls way, they believe it gives them the absolute (and sometimes, divine) right to treat the woman like shit.

I know it takes all sorts to make a world, but it takes a particular kind of prick whose only enjoyment is to upset and unnerve the performer.
Am sure there's a Bloodhound Gang song title which springs to mind... "The Lapdance Is So Much Better (When The Stripper Is Crying)" - seems to be their raison d'etre. :pensive:
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tb2012
tb2012 11 years ago
Try this, blocked for not being in her part of the UK (South). I gave a compliment (I thought) to a lovely looking female (due to her photos and videos posted), she blocks me due to the fact that my home country is the US. I was not asking for her to friend me or asking for passwords to private stuff, just letting her know that she good looking.
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rodent1
rodent1 Publisher 11 years ago
to DanielPortenio : There's a great deal of excellent material on Literotica, and quite a large amount of dreck. Rather like Xhamster in many ways.
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DanielPortenio
DanielPortenio 11 years ago
to rodent1 : Yes, of course. But don't forget to invite Sancho Panza, he will have food and some common sense to share.
Btw, I went to that erotic site and was reading a well written tale. Maybe I download it for reading even if my wife is around.
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rodent1
rodent1 Publisher 11 years ago
to DanielPortenio : Even if we're tilting at windmills under the delusion they're dragons?
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DanielPortenio
DanielPortenio 11 years ago
It has been said in an old Tango lyrics: "Las mujeres siempre son / las que matan la ilusiĆ³n" (Always are women those who kill illusions). Of course you were right, Steve, it's fine to have some Don Qixotes patrolling the roads...
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rodent1
rodent1 Publisher 11 years ago
to eellee : Yes, I've learned that lesson. Fortunately, we're friends again now.
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eellee 11 years ago
When someone goes into the on line live sex show business they have to put up with almost everything. They are in fact up for sale and they do have the option to ban someone if they are offended as you found out although you were trying to be nice. It's best to just get what you want from those web sights and don't worry about defending anyone.
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rodent1
rodent1 Publisher 11 years ago
to wwolf502 : See postscript above. She forgave me.
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rodent1
rodent1 Publisher 11 years ago
to anthony_weston : Totally agree, Anthony, which I why I was criticising my own kneejerk liberalism. Some of the webcam girls appreciate that kind of support (one recently vented her anger over a particularly abusive visitor's remarks, and thanked those of us who came to her defence), others do not. I failed to read the signals, and paid the price.
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wwolf502
wwolf502 11 years ago
I dunno.... the situation serving as inspiration for your blog post seems like a pretty typical moment in a model's cam room. It's much ado about nothing. Yeah, people are frequently rude assholes to cam models. And, just as assuredly, the model has options at her disposal that enable her to block the commentary of certain people in the room or to block them from the room entirely. So, where is the problem? If the model doesn't like the vibe she's getting from someone exhibiting asshole behaviour, she blocks him. End of problem. I was under that impression that this circumstance and solution are commonplace. No sermon is needed to illustrate how some people are assholes in cam rooms. At strip clubs, they have bouncers. Get out of line there, and they give you the boot. All cam models have the same authority, and when someone gets out of line in their room, they get the boot. That's life. It seems like your cam model was fully aware of this and didn't need you speaking out on her behalf. More power to her. Most strippers in the strip club can handle their own problem customers, whether that includes calling in the assistance of the bouncers or not. Certainly the models in cam rooms can handle any kind of problem they're likely to encounter. Chivalry might not be dead, rodent1, but I think you should pick your battles a little more carefully.
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anthony_weston
anthony_weston 11 years ago
It's very different for a professional WebCam model. That's a big line of demarcation and the women who want to do that kind of work are, I think, entitled to use whatever kind of language or images they want to in order to attract paying customers. That's totally different from a non-professional women who comes to Xhamster to enjoy herself and maybe interact with others a bit.

Good post, thank you for it, My best, Anthony
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hottstuff1982 11 years ago
Well for not recognizing you for defending her honor.. screw her! lol
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rose__girl 11 years ago
Good mea culpa
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mike0207
mike0207 11 years ago
Steve,I admire that you are willing to improve this world. But can one turn led into gold? Can one turn an A-hole into a gentleman? I've never succeeded,perhaps you can. Please if you succeed in the first assignment,give me a few kiloos of gold,I'll provide the led (LOL)
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leather123
leather123 11 years ago
Well said
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aqua555
aqua555 11 years ago
Funny thing I learned a lesson like badalex...glad I didnĀ“t get tossed for that, but I still have a scar from this "meeting".
Sometimes my mood and my view of life crush harsh in the reality of hamster. I try to hold up the banners but not everwhere they are asked for.
Other websites got mods to keep the scum out, but it is not really easy to decide what is the "rights" of the customer and what is beyond to be "nice" even that they pay.
At that point even the performer can decide what is more important the "tokens" or even her own normal policy.
This might change quicker than we might think.
You pointed out "her capitalist imperative", not easy to be helpful when it is needed to pay rent (or whatever) and "we" donĀ“t know about it
Anyway....I am really pleased to read these thoughts....and I always try to be a nice and respectful guest.
If a girl wanna be treated as a slut (which reminds me to another post of you) they show this and mosten they are "ladies" who do this for sensation, not for tokens.
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rodent1
rodent1 Publisher 11 years ago
No, I don't question her virtue, Alex, although her business model possibly needs closer examination. Getting naked for 50 tokens ($5) doesn't strike me as a sustainable earner.
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