Submissive Training

Submission Training is a descriptive title that works.

Isn’t it strange – the one thing all of us seem to agree on, in this often contentious lifestyle – is the conveniently all-inclusive name for the lifestyle: the four letters BDSM. In one sense, it is a brilliant phrase that links a tremendous variety of practices, practitioners, lifestyles and mind sets, including bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. Thus it puts us all in one big boat, maybe because, to cite Ben Franklin in another context, If we don’t all hang together, we shall surely all hang separately. And indeed I will defend your right to be a fetishist, or yours to engage in 24/7 slavery, or yours to suffer harsh physical torments. We are, in the
eyes of the public, all in this together, so why shouldn’t we enjoy the benefits of solidarity?

Yet, as usefully all-encompassing as is BDSM, it is terribly hard to explain to the vanilla world, it gets us into controversial details about practices — instead of describing the overarching benefits gained from them, and it will never be successful in freeing us from the misconceptions that trouble the public.

For some people, pain is spiritual, therapeutic; for others it is a sexual stimulant which the public associates with orgies. For some, submission is a path of purification, for others it is a troubled working out of parent-young adult relationships.

In the public’s mind, the various practices of BDSM run from those it tolerates to those it is puzzled by to those it violently disapproves of. But if, as the previous section argues, almost all of these diverse practices can be of some use in enriching our personalities and even promoting holiness, why are we wasting time justifying the details of what we do instead of describing the benefits we – some of us – receive from their practices?

To focus on this spiritual side of BDSM, then, I would first refer to it as Submission Training. Is it over-simplifying? Let’s just say it is not complete. But that does not mean it is not useful. And, yes, it does, even in its simplicity, cover a huge amount of BDSM practice, and it is accurate.

The spiritual side of BDSM involves practices that have a long history within many traditions, both Eastern and Occidental , and this is, for the most part, understood by our fellow citizens – regardless of whether they are personally attracted to such practices. And that, right off, is a big gain that the phrase BDSM will never achieve.

One professional dominatrix describes the benefits as follows: “It may be hard for the outsider to see a hard whipping as an expression of sacred love. But in many ways, BDSM transcends ordinary affection and sex. It requires a deep level of communication, trust, and openness to one’s partner not found in the mundane sex act. To take pain for someone is an act of tremendous giving; to take control of someone else is an act of ultimate caring. For many, the acts of BDSM open both partners up to tremendous love–love that brings them closer to the Infinite.” – Mistress Ariachne, article published by Bondage dot com, June 6, 2004.

Another, who is also an author, writes: “A cleansed submissive is an indomitable force. Invulnerable to the temptations and manipulations of the world and others around them. An offering of this purity of being, this force within is without any question the greatest gift that can ever be offered from one human being to another.” -F.R.R. Mallory, website steel-door dot com, article “Submissive Mythology (2)”

When many around us seem willing to ‘sell out their grandmother’ if it gets them that job promotion they covet, how refreshing to see someone who will submit, willingly, to another in order to create peace and happiness. This is not weakness, it is holiness.

But is it accurate to describe what we do as “submission training”?
First, although the phrase emphasizes what’s going on for the submissives and bottoms, it does not ignore the role of dominants and tops, any more than mentioning ‘math instruction’ ignores the fact that there must necessarily be math teachers. They are implicitly very much involved.

As for the practices themselves, decide for yourself. I describe

Male submission
BDSM as having three categories of practices:

Surrendering our Will
Suffering Pain
Opening our Sexuality
Each can be included under Submission.



Surrendering our Will: This is so obviously included in submission training that I won’t do more than list a few practices:
Following the orders of the dominant
Being trained to serve the dominant
Practicing humility
Enduring bondage
Suffering Pain:
Pain is different from submission. Nevertheless, our pain is a pain “under submission.” As so many writers on the topic point out, most of us don’t like it when we stub a toe. Ouch! The pain we relish is in our sessions – it is ritualized, it is consensual, we suffer it as an act of submission and it thereby enriches our soul. In this sense,
Being whipped is submission
Suffering CBT is submission
Experiencing Electric shock is submission
Et cetera.
Opening our Sexuality:
Receiving an erotic massage is submission
Obeying a command to be nude in front of others is submission
Accepting intimate touches by another is submission.