When you ......

When you really want to message someone to see how they are but they have ghosted you and you know you won't get a reply back if you do message them.
And you also don't want to message them in case by messaging them you annoy them as you don't like annoying people coz that is all you feel you do.
And you don't even know why they have ghosted you in the first place.
And all you really wish is that you was dead inside so than you didn't get hurt or upset.
Never mind.