The dark side of crossdressing
The dark side of crossdressing by Julia Kat.
A light hearted look at the darker side to our lives,no doubt with some northern humour and general sillyness....
Im sure everyone whos not a crossdresser thinks our world is all tiaras butt plugs and getting blowbanged in the pub toilets.
Well its not New Years Eve fancy dress party every day you know!
No,shocking as it may be it really isnt all lingerie constant cock and kinky boots,there is a dark side to all of this too.Yes it can look all glamourous,yes its fantastic,yes we are the luckiest of all the pervs,yes we get two lives to live,be two people,have two wardrobes etc etc.But what you dont see is the maintainence that goes on behind the scenes.So I thought I would shed a little light onto the dark side of this wonderful world of crossdressing.......
Now a lot of people think being with a cd is like a dream come true.Yes we are the perviest of the pervy,yes we do have the sex drive of several possessed bunny rabbits,yes not many can keep up with us,yes we do have to google the word "no",yes we have the best of both worlds.
All true.
But as per the title,there is a lot you dont know.
If you arent a crossdresser,firstly I am sorry,it must be awful for you.I dont know how you stand it.Secondly,you will have no idea what we have to do day in day out to live like this,no its not all wall to wall cock and swimming in sperm.
Shocking I know.
Its said we are high maintainence,for once the rumours could be true.As first,you may think we can pop down to the local glory hole and suck some cock any time we like.But no,as we have no end of landscaping to do,training upkeep,all sorts to do first.
So here would be say a typical day for us,some bloke and some cd say,just for an example of what I mean....
Him "fancy going to the library for some stand up sex with an audience?"
Me "sounds like a plan just give us a minute to get ready"
Him "ok honey no prob".
Sounds nice doesnt itBut looks can be deceiving.As you will see.....as getting ready is a tad involved.But only a tad....
First theres the dreaded eyebrowscaping,which can reduce any grown man to tears.We have a special pair of tweezers reserved for this task and only this task and its pain of death to anyone who uses those special tweezers for anything else.
You have been warned!
So its out with the magnifying mirror (with another magnifying mirror stuck to that one for us oldies with blurry vision) and start yanking!
Oh look theres the tears.
Not to mention the trauma we suffer.As if we dont pluck enough we end up looking like we have two badgers fighting it out on our faces.
Trauma!
Yet go too far and we end up with the 'suprised finger up the bum look',if you want the technical term.
Trauma!
Him "So now we can go and watch you suck some cock?"
No,weve the trauma to deal with first!
Him "Ok after that can we see you get pee'd on in public?"
No.As weve now got to do our cdscaping.Out with the razor and mirror as we do mental yoga positions on the bathroom floor as we try to get to shave all our bits,as theres nothing worse than a stray hair.
Again,trauma!
Still it keeps us flexible and it is how most got to be able to suck themselves off such are the positions needed to view ones bits in a mirror on the floor.On a good day we can kiss our own arse!
Even those that are smooth,theyve still got hours of sitting there with the lazer.Takes time all this sweety.
Him "Ok but now you can go out to the park for some clumsy stranger sex?"
Youd think so!But no.Weve now several hours of makeup to do,and dependant on age can range from an hour to several days for us oldies!
Not to mention when it all goes wrong and we end up looking like a possessed panda.
Trauma!
Or we go overboard with the contouring and we end up looking like a screaming skull.
More trauma!
Or weve gone nuts with the full coverage foundation and we end up looking like Caspa the big gay ghost.
Trauma!
And yes I have just outed Caspa.Its not like its a suprise is it?
Not to mention the trauma of false eyelashers when we end up with one eye glued shut and the other stuck to the mirror,our fingers,tweezers and next doors dog.
More trauma!
Then ofcourse we have to then deal with all the trauma.It all takes time this.
Him "Yes but now surely you can shove a butt plug in and go for a walk around the neighbourhood showing them all youve got?"
Nope,for a start its not a Monday,and weve our hair to do yet,thats another hour all its own.And yes sometimes there will be trauma when it all goes horribly wrong,like when it says on the bottle of black hair dye "washes out in ten washes".
Ten washes my arse!Twenty washes later and still look like a cow!And dont say I have to grow it out as half blond half black I may as well go around asking strangers if I can have their dalmation puppies for a coat!
See,more trauma!You just dont realise.
Seriously,I am starting to see why my mate thinks Im something of a drama queen.Hmmm.
Him "Yes but now you must be ready to go and get felt up by strangers on the bus......?"
Didnt know it was a Tuesday,ok sounds like fun but still got to pick out what to wear.We have several wardrobes of lingerie to puruse before we can settle on what we are in the mood for.It takes time darlin.
Him "Ok now you must be ready for a cum walk or something?"
If only!Weve still our dress to pick out,and that might sound easy,but dont forget our wardrobes cross international date lines and have their own postcodes!It takes time my love as we do try to look our best for you all.
Him "Ok fine,but now it must be time for being taken roughly from behind?Surely?"
Nothing would make me happier.But weve still got our shoes to pick out.Or,am I feeling kinkybooty?Decisions decisions decisions....
Some time later.........
Him "Yes but now...its been hours,now surely...?"
Sorry sweety as now we have to assess the whole outfit in the mirror,and if it doesnt work......you guessed it,TRAUMA!
And ofcourse we then have to deal with that!Thats another hour of me hissy fitting at least.
Him "Ok fine,I love you,youre worth it,but now we must be able to go and have some public sex in big Tescos?We havent done that for days!"
Yes I am a big fan of having a captive audience its true.But weve got our nails to do yet!Takes time that you know.
Him "Ok,now you must be ready?!"
Sorry nearly.As the colour Ive picked for my nails doesnt quite go with this minidress,so going to have to find something else to wear.Decisions decisions....again,trauma.What to wear what to wear that matches my nails.....hmmm........lets try wardrobe number three.....hmmmm..............nothing here maybe wardrobe number four....hmmm.....
Him "Is there any chance of getting some cock today?Any at all?"
I would love to say so,but just re applied my lippy and smudged it.
Trauma!
And back to square one.
Him "Ok ok,but now you must be ready to suck some strangers off in the park it has been like ten hours already?"
Youd think so wouldnt you.But weve still got hours of window shopping on Boohoo and Prettylittlething.com to do.What I like to call 'slutware'.
Why are you crying?
This is nothing.
Just wait till Ive ordered a hideously expensive dress only for it to make me look like a total frump and baglady.Then you will have something to cry about as yes,trauma!!!
Him "Fine fine,just please can we just go to the pub for a quick knee trembler up against the bar?"
Love to,but Ive still got a few hours of watching porn to get in.Becouse as a cd,we are natural born perverts,we lead were others fear to tread,so we must be certain that we arent being outperved by anyone.We do have our reputation to uphold.
At least you wont have to deal with any trauma,as we are never outperved so this bits usually trauma free.
Him "Then can I tie you to a tree and whip your arse off?"
Well its not a Thursday but ok,but first we do need a couple of hours to puruse the Argos catalogue,as they may be some new household appliance we havent tried to have sex with.
Him "Ok then can we go....?"
No,as weve then got to deal with the trauma when we realise there arent any new appliances to have sex with.
Again.Trauma!
Him.Sigh."Can we just go to the chippy Im hungry now?"
Ofcourse my love,been ages since we did it in the chippy que.But I do have oral and anal training to do yet.
As we do have to train our mouths to open wider than usual,not to mention training our throats to be open to all and sundry.Not easy throating someone honey.As they arent normally meant for sex or being pee'd in.Takes hours of pratice that does.
FYI I found saying "arrrhhhh" while being throated beats the gagging reflex.Try it,it works.Sounds weird,but it works.No gag reflex.See without hours of training every day never wouldve found that out.
Him (starts to cry) "but now...please....surely you are ready?!"
Nearly,just got to get a few hours of anal training to get in.So if you want me I will be riding my monkey rocker around the living room like a possessed pig for a couple of hours ok.
As we do have to train our puss,and we all train to different degrees.Theres those that train it to take massive dildos and fists,so have to put in many many hours,sometimes going into the wee hours of the morning to get enough in.Then theres those of us that train our puss so anyone can just pull our dress up,yank our knickers to one side,on the odd occassion we are wearing them,and stick their thing right up us no messing about.Yet still tight enough so everyone gets a treat.
It takes time people.Plus we didnt get to take things as deep as our ribcage by accident you know.It takes training,lots of.
Him "You must be ready now?Im dying of old age here.You must be ready?"
Nearly,just got to have a nosey through the Lovehoney catalogue to see if theres any new dildos I fancy being screwed with so just go have a cuppa and a biccy as you dont look well.
You look quite pale actually.
Then there will be the trauma to deal with when you realise youve got them all.So more trauma.
As Ive said many times before,being a crossdresser is not for the faint of heart,it is a roller coaster ride of emotions at times.
And dont forget weve still got to open all our prezzies thats just come in the post.......oh look my new boobs!Oh soooooo got to try these on first!
So thats like four hours all its own just stood there like a mental person giggling away to yourself as you 'jiggle' away.
I really cant get tired of jiggling away.Love it.
The much later that day you get......
Him "Stop trying to shag the hoover!Oh for f...sake....so......are.....you.....finally........sodding...bloody.....ready.....you....demented.....moggy...."
Errr first up,stop being ratty,whats that about.Secondly Its half one in the morning and Im knackered.Im off to bed.
Him "Excellent!About time Im going to get some hehehe..."
Yes,fine........I just need to take all my makeup off,thats like an hour on its own,and then I just need to pick out what to wear hmmmm baby doll or chemise.......decisions decisions decisions.....hmmm.....nothing in this wardrobe.....I think Im feeling green and black baby doll.......or maybe purple not sure....hmmm......oh I know Im feeling see through me thinks,but that wont go with my nail polish.....hmmm need to think about this some more........
No I dont know why hes banging his head on the bedroom wall and sobbing away to himself either.
I think some people are just weird thats all.
Well it cant be me can it?
Im adorable :)
Anyway that was just a silly light hearted look at just a tiny part of the dark side of crossdressing.So I hope you appreciate just how much effort we have to put in day in day out to look and be our best for you all.
And all I can say is,good job we do get to live two lives,as there certainly isnt enough hours in the day for us lot!
Meow.x
A light hearted look at the darker side to our lives,no doubt with some northern humour and general sillyness....
Im sure everyone whos not a crossdresser thinks our world is all tiaras butt plugs and getting blowbanged in the pub toilets.
Well its not New Years Eve fancy dress party every day you know!
No,shocking as it may be it really isnt all lingerie constant cock and kinky boots,there is a dark side to all of this too.Yes it can look all glamourous,yes its fantastic,yes we are the luckiest of all the pervs,yes we get two lives to live,be two people,have two wardrobes etc etc.But what you dont see is the maintainence that goes on behind the scenes.So I thought I would shed a little light onto the dark side of this wonderful world of crossdressing.......
Now a lot of people think being with a cd is like a dream come true.Yes we are the perviest of the pervy,yes we do have the sex drive of several possessed bunny rabbits,yes not many can keep up with us,yes we do have to google the word "no",yes we have the best of both worlds.
All true.
But as per the title,there is a lot you dont know.
If you arent a crossdresser,firstly I am sorry,it must be awful for you.I dont know how you stand it.Secondly,you will have no idea what we have to do day in day out to live like this,no its not all wall to wall cock and swimming in sperm.
Shocking I know.
Its said we are high maintainence,for once the rumours could be true.As first,you may think we can pop down to the local glory hole and suck some cock any time we like.But no,as we have no end of landscaping to do,training upkeep,all sorts to do first.
So here would be say a typical day for us,some bloke and some cd say,just for an example of what I mean....
Him "fancy going to the library for some stand up sex with an audience?"
Me "sounds like a plan just give us a minute to get ready"
Him "ok honey no prob".
Sounds nice doesnt itBut looks can be deceiving.As you will see.....as getting ready is a tad involved.But only a tad....
First theres the dreaded eyebrowscaping,which can reduce any grown man to tears.We have a special pair of tweezers reserved for this task and only this task and its pain of death to anyone who uses those special tweezers for anything else.
You have been warned!
So its out with the magnifying mirror (with another magnifying mirror stuck to that one for us oldies with blurry vision) and start yanking!
Oh look theres the tears.
Not to mention the trauma we suffer.As if we dont pluck enough we end up looking like we have two badgers fighting it out on our faces.
Trauma!
Yet go too far and we end up with the 'suprised finger up the bum look',if you want the technical term.
Trauma!
Him "So now we can go and watch you suck some cock?"
No,weve the trauma to deal with first!
Him "Ok after that can we see you get pee'd on in public?"
No.As weve now got to do our cdscaping.Out with the razor and mirror as we do mental yoga positions on the bathroom floor as we try to get to shave all our bits,as theres nothing worse than a stray hair.
Again,trauma!
Still it keeps us flexible and it is how most got to be able to suck themselves off such are the positions needed to view ones bits in a mirror on the floor.On a good day we can kiss our own arse!
Even those that are smooth,theyve still got hours of sitting there with the lazer.Takes time all this sweety.
Him "Ok but now you can go out to the park for some clumsy stranger sex?"
Youd think so!But no.Weve now several hours of makeup to do,and dependant on age can range from an hour to several days for us oldies!
Not to mention when it all goes wrong and we end up looking like a possessed panda.
Trauma!
Or we go overboard with the contouring and we end up looking like a screaming skull.
More trauma!
Or weve gone nuts with the full coverage foundation and we end up looking like Caspa the big gay ghost.
Trauma!
And yes I have just outed Caspa.Its not like its a suprise is it?
Not to mention the trauma of false eyelashers when we end up with one eye glued shut and the other stuck to the mirror,our fingers,tweezers and next doors dog.
More trauma!
Then ofcourse we have to then deal with all the trauma.It all takes time this.
Him "Yes but now surely you can shove a butt plug in and go for a walk around the neighbourhood showing them all youve got?"
Nope,for a start its not a Monday,and weve our hair to do yet,thats another hour all its own.And yes sometimes there will be trauma when it all goes horribly wrong,like when it says on the bottle of black hair dye "washes out in ten washes".
Ten washes my arse!Twenty washes later and still look like a cow!And dont say I have to grow it out as half blond half black I may as well go around asking strangers if I can have their dalmation puppies for a coat!
See,more trauma!You just dont realise.
Seriously,I am starting to see why my mate thinks Im something of a drama queen.Hmmm.
Him "Yes but now you must be ready to go and get felt up by strangers on the bus......?"
Didnt know it was a Tuesday,ok sounds like fun but still got to pick out what to wear.We have several wardrobes of lingerie to puruse before we can settle on what we are in the mood for.It takes time darlin.
Him "Ok now you must be ready for a cum walk or something?"
If only!Weve still our dress to pick out,and that might sound easy,but dont forget our wardrobes cross international date lines and have their own postcodes!It takes time my love as we do try to look our best for you all.
Him "Ok fine,but now it must be time for being taken roughly from behind?Surely?"
Nothing would make me happier.But weve still got our shoes to pick out.Or,am I feeling kinkybooty?Decisions decisions decisions....
Some time later.........
Him "Yes but now...its been hours,now surely...?"
Sorry sweety as now we have to assess the whole outfit in the mirror,and if it doesnt work......you guessed it,TRAUMA!
And ofcourse we then have to deal with that!Thats another hour of me hissy fitting at least.
Him "Ok fine,I love you,youre worth it,but now we must be able to go and have some public sex in big Tescos?We havent done that for days!"
Yes I am a big fan of having a captive audience its true.But weve got our nails to do yet!Takes time that you know.
Him "Ok,now you must be ready?!"
Sorry nearly.As the colour Ive picked for my nails doesnt quite go with this minidress,so going to have to find something else to wear.Decisions decisions....again,trauma.What to wear what to wear that matches my nails.....hmmm........lets try wardrobe number three.....hmmmm..............nothing here maybe wardrobe number four....hmmm.....
Him "Is there any chance of getting some cock today?Any at all?"
I would love to say so,but just re applied my lippy and smudged it.
Trauma!
And back to square one.
Him "Ok ok,but now you must be ready to suck some strangers off in the park it has been like ten hours already?"
Youd think so wouldnt you.But weve still got hours of window shopping on Boohoo and Prettylittlething.com to do.What I like to call 'slutware'.
Why are you crying?
This is nothing.
Just wait till Ive ordered a hideously expensive dress only for it to make me look like a total frump and baglady.Then you will have something to cry about as yes,trauma!!!
Him "Fine fine,just please can we just go to the pub for a quick knee trembler up against the bar?"
Love to,but Ive still got a few hours of watching porn to get in.Becouse as a cd,we are natural born perverts,we lead were others fear to tread,so we must be certain that we arent being outperved by anyone.We do have our reputation to uphold.
At least you wont have to deal with any trauma,as we are never outperved so this bits usually trauma free.
Him "Then can I tie you to a tree and whip your arse off?"
Well its not a Thursday but ok,but first we do need a couple of hours to puruse the Argos catalogue,as they may be some new household appliance we havent tried to have sex with.
Him "Ok then can we go....?"
No,as weve then got to deal with the trauma when we realise there arent any new appliances to have sex with.
Again.Trauma!
Him.Sigh."Can we just go to the chippy Im hungry now?"
Ofcourse my love,been ages since we did it in the chippy que.But I do have oral and anal training to do yet.
As we do have to train our mouths to open wider than usual,not to mention training our throats to be open to all and sundry.Not easy throating someone honey.As they arent normally meant for sex or being pee'd in.Takes hours of pratice that does.
FYI I found saying "arrrhhhh" while being throated beats the gagging reflex.Try it,it works.Sounds weird,but it works.No gag reflex.See without hours of training every day never wouldve found that out.
Him (starts to cry) "but now...please....surely you are ready?!"
Nearly,just got to get a few hours of anal training to get in.So if you want me I will be riding my monkey rocker around the living room like a possessed pig for a couple of hours ok.
As we do have to train our puss,and we all train to different degrees.Theres those that train it to take massive dildos and fists,so have to put in many many hours,sometimes going into the wee hours of the morning to get enough in.Then theres those of us that train our puss so anyone can just pull our dress up,yank our knickers to one side,on the odd occassion we are wearing them,and stick their thing right up us no messing about.Yet still tight enough so everyone gets a treat.
It takes time people.Plus we didnt get to take things as deep as our ribcage by accident you know.It takes training,lots of.
Him "You must be ready now?Im dying of old age here.You must be ready?"
Nearly,just got to have a nosey through the Lovehoney catalogue to see if theres any new dildos I fancy being screwed with so just go have a cuppa and a biccy as you dont look well.
You look quite pale actually.
Then there will be the trauma to deal with when you realise youve got them all.So more trauma.
As Ive said many times before,being a crossdresser is not for the faint of heart,it is a roller coaster ride of emotions at times.
And dont forget weve still got to open all our prezzies thats just come in the post.......oh look my new boobs!Oh soooooo got to try these on first!
So thats like four hours all its own just stood there like a mental person giggling away to yourself as you 'jiggle' away.
I really cant get tired of jiggling away.Love it.
The much later that day you get......
Him "Stop trying to shag the hoover!Oh for f...sake....so......are.....you.....finally........sodding...bloody.....ready.....you....demented.....moggy...."
Errr first up,stop being ratty,whats that about.Secondly Its half one in the morning and Im knackered.Im off to bed.
Him "Excellent!About time Im going to get some hehehe..."
Yes,fine........I just need to take all my makeup off,thats like an hour on its own,and then I just need to pick out what to wear hmmmm baby doll or chemise.......decisions decisions decisions.....hmmm.....nothing in this wardrobe.....I think Im feeling green and black baby doll.......or maybe purple not sure....hmmm......oh I know Im feeling see through me thinks,but that wont go with my nail polish.....hmmm need to think about this some more........
No I dont know why hes banging his head on the bedroom wall and sobbing away to himself either.
I think some people are just weird thats all.
Well it cant be me can it?
Im adorable :)
Anyway that was just a silly light hearted look at just a tiny part of the dark side of crossdressing.So I hope you appreciate just how much effort we have to put in day in day out to look and be our best for you all.
And all I can say is,good job we do get to live two lives,as there certainly isnt enough hours in the day for us lot!
Meow.x
3 years ago
