Sissy acceptance but still unrealized

aah to know that you LOVE and crave the sissy lifestyle ..that you CONSTANTLY jerk and cum to the images , the vids , the captions and GIFS, .....BUT for me its still something i am "wanting to experience "for REAL .. what gives me some of my most orgasms is stroking to the real everyday sissies and CD's on here...the ones who maybe dont live it 24/7 ..but when they get the time and place just get WALLOW in all those phallic and anal desires ...and FULL fem mode(whatever the style) you can clearly see in the faces and just fucking turns me on ..i love it . so for now i live through many of you wonderful gurls through your wonderful content . ..personally i STILL need to get dildoes , a butt plug , poppers and of course CLOTHES ....sissy hypno vids over the past couiple yrs have been VERY helpful and have had a BIG impact in gradually getting me mentally to where i currently am ....actually the one worked really well me (some are much better then others) on this site is one called "Pink Sissy Motel 2" (which i have in my video favs ) its the one that REALLY seemed to unlock the anal mental barrier (myself being penetrated ) and had finally exploring and poking around in my asshole while stroking ...really the first hyno vid that got me feeling like a real bitch...legs up in the air ..pushing back on my finger as i shot my load. anyways thks for reading ...just something i wanted to share, feel free to reply, sincerely Vid.