Sissy beginnings

Like so many other dressers, I started young. I don’t remember when exactly, but I can’t remember a time when I didn’t crave to be fem. One of my earliest memories was having a sexually explicit book that I’d read at night. I always envied the young female protagonist hitchhiker. The vivid description of being picked up by a passing trucker and the huge bulge she’d notice in his pants, later to find out that his cock was a treat all it’s own. On those night quite reading in my room, I’d slip into a little pair of red panties and nighty I’d swiped from a friends cute mom. Laying in bed dreaming about the storied girl riding a huge cock made my own sissy cock leak. When the agony was too much, I’d finally stroke till I came on my stomach. The warm cum dripping down my skinny body onto the towel I’d strategically placed under me. It all seemed so innocent.

These were the early days, before I’d have any experience with a real man, much less dress for a daddy. I’d been and still am sexually and affectionately attracted to woman, but the thought of being one might be my strongest and most basic desire.

Later in my development I’d go through countless attempts to hold down my desires, but they always come rushing back. In college I lived with one girlfriend who somewhat supported my fem desires. She was the first person I’d ever shared my inner sissy with. We’d sleep together both wearing silky lingerie, I preferred the floral blue babydoll nightgown. We’d play dress up games and she’d help me apply makeup. It was delightful to be that open and the sexual tension was incredible. Sadly the relationship ended and my secret was shamefully shared. Back to denial…(not the first time, my parents also sexually repressed me after a little lie about where I’d gotten the lingerie from my youth).

After college, I moved to a bigger metropolitan area. Pair that with the beginning connectivity of the internet and opportunity was only limited by my self loathing. The first experience with a man, my first transgender connection, the first time I held another cock or felt it on my lips…in no other terms, it’s a wonderful addiction that I struggle with at my core.

Want to know more???