I confuse myself at times

I used to be confused about my gender whether or not I was born the right gender
I used to think I wanted to be a guy or I was meant to be a guy when I would get aroused my clit would get so hard that I just wanted it to be sucked... I'd get so excited it was almost like I could feel the heat from someones mouth and wetness from their tongue on my pussy. I would get so turned on I'd ball up a towel or blanket and start grinding it as if I was fuking someone's face. Watching oral videos I would imagine it was me they were sucking & licking. Watching gay, straight and lesbian whatever it excited me and then I figured out especially by what I have listed that it wasn't the gender it was the sounds & dirty talking that aroused me. At first what turned me on scared and confused me because of how young I was and I was having these sexual feelings and to this day sometimes it confuses me I guess its cause I still haven't had sex yet idk