New years eve dreaming about what could be

I am sitting here browsing a wide variety of porn on New years eve 21/22 and just thinking to myself how long do i need to continue my unsatisfied life living a lie where i can not be open with my wife.
Am i the only sad sack here or are there others thinking the same?
20 years of living the most boring vanilla lifestyle with a woman who changed over night once marriage happened.
A bit about us. She was married and a little older when we met. After rocking her world for 12 months she decided to leave her husband for a life more colorful. I mean Oral sex, Anal sex, Public sex, Sex with toys Strap ons dildos hand cuffs etc. All the things wet dreams are made of then 2 years later we get married and BOOM all my wildest dreams have come crashing down.
On our wedding night i set up the video camera, put on a sexy crotch less body suit and filmed her plowing my ass with a 7 inch strap on. I thought i have Won the fucking lottery.
Before we got married i nearly got her into a 3 some with my mate but he chickened out but i thought no worries the chance will happen again. How wrong could i have been.
I know people will say if you have a relationship with a married woman eventually she will cheat on you as well. How long do i have to wait for this to happen. I have even told her that i would be turned on if she did but still nothing.
The exciting sex that we use to have is long over 4 play is her saying come on over, I mean if i am good i might get a 2 minute blow job 3 times a year. To be honest that doesn't bother me but now i don't even feel like going down on her any more and that is one of my favorite things to do sexually. She just has a way of making me feel repulsed in the bedroom.
I never wanted to be unfaithful to my wife but now i feel i have no option if i wish to maintain my sanity. I would happily be chastised for months at a time just to create a little spark in our sex life but she won't even be open to playing this way.
Am i crazy to want a little bit more from life?
Опубликовано curious30ish
2 года назад
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wanktocunt
I think you should think of moving on. You might not get your perfect relationship but in my experience, the more open you are with another woman at the start, the better it is likely to be. Having said that, I think you already tried this. At 30ish it's a very early age to start feeling frustrated and possibly worse. Play away and best wishes.
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curious30ish Издатель 2 года назад
кому: Chaz352 : Happy new year Chaz. 
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Chaz352 2 года назад
no, of course you're not crazy. follow your instincts and avoid labels. this site has given me a safe haven to honestly explore my own truth(s). happy new year...make the most of it! ~chaz in ny, usa
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