The Shittiest Message I've Received So Far

Okay, seriously. Here's the shittiest message I've received so far. Bear in mind this was the FIRST message I've received from this guy. This is his opener; the message that lets me know exactly how the rest of communication goes from this point on:

Him: "If I were to turn up at yours [sic: I think he meant "your house"] and as soon as you opened the door I was to grab you, turn you around and push you up against the wall. Before grabbing your wrists, pulling them behind your back and snapping a set of handcuffs on them. Then pushed you down to your knees, as I undid my jeans to reveal my 7" by 2", before telling you to "service me", what would you do next?"

Me: "Probably bite your cock off, kick you over, run outside, get help, call the cops, and have them arrest you for breaking and entering, battery, k**napping (handcuffs are a bad idea), attempted ****, and (since you apparently knew where I lived via Xhamster), I'd throw stalking in there for good measure. Then you'd be a dickless registered sex offender, and I'd have an interesting story to tell the other people at my law firm. And, I'd probably have just enough trauma to avoid other men in the future. So, any potential partner that I would have had in the future would probably blame things on the dickless sex offender."

Seriously, boys. Do you even think before you send this stuff? Like Louis CK said "Okay, let's try r****g this girl on the extremely rare chance that she's into that sort of thing". Seriously??

Why do shitty, douche-bag guys have to really ruin things for all the good guys out there.

At what point did he think his magical 7" cock was going to impress me? Like, what's his ideal scenario??

"Oh, shit, I'm about to be ****d!! Wait... wait a sec... is that a 7" cock? Well, damn... lemme just get to work on that right away!"

Fucking assholes.