The "Fuck-It" List

Fun little post of all the things in this world that I think deserve a big round "Fuck it!" lol
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Fuck EA's Burnout: Paradise - Why, EA, why?! Why ruin what was once a fun game series?! Any gamers out there remember how much fun those original Burnout games were? With their high-octane, balls-to-the-wall flat-out Destruction Derby-esque sheer arcade racing fun? Well, you'll find none of that in Burnout: Paradise! It's just the most boring, most repetitive, most frustrating chore of a game to play through. For starters, the crash mechanics are shite, you only need to clip your wing-mirror gently to suddenly explode your car. The races are incredibly repetitive, with only 4 finish lines so every "course" is stuck on repeat. The open world map is way too small to offer any variety. You only have 5 different "modes" to compete in, all of which are boring and repetitive. Worst of all, the "Crash Mode", which was the single most fun mode in the previous titles, has been stripped right down to the bare minimum, where instead of being an actual mode in the game, is actually just a free-world thing you can do at any point for no reason (called, "Showtime", now, for some reason) which offers no fun at all, as you can repeatedly bounce your car into other cars, busses and billboards with no dynamic or fun randomness. Fuck you EA for turning a once fun game series into an absolute steaming pile of garbage! I can't believe they actually tried charging £40 for it when they first released it, I got the game entirely for free with Xbox's Games with Gold and I still feel totally ripped off by it! Fuck you EA, fuck you!

Fuck the Word: "Necessarily" - No one,and I mean, no one can spell it correctly on the first time of trying! It's one of the most impossible words in the whole English language to spell right first-time round and yet is used so frequently by people. It's so infuriatingly frustrating when you're typing or texting and you have to use the word "necessarily" but you end up typing out something like "But it's not really nesses- neccessara- neccessarally- Oh for fuck's sake! Where's the spellcheck button... Necessarily. Ah, there we go, finally! Now, where was I?" Fuck it.

Fuck Politicians Denying the Will of the People - Fuck you, you work for us. It's us who pay your wages with our taxes, the very least you can do is pretend to do what we tell you to do. Every time you deny our will, you just strengthen our resolve to put your head on a spike. You can only push the hard-working law-abiding people so far before we take matters into our own hands. Whether it be with trying everything in your power to block Brexit, calling it just an "opinion poll" or saying that "populism" (ie the democratic will of the people) is a bad thing that should be fought against and ignored, you can fuck right off! If you have a problem working as a politician in a democratically free country, fuck off to somewhere like North Korea, there you can freely ignore the will of the people to your heart's content. I'm not a violent person, I never seek out to fight, but if a violent revolution uprising should ever happen in this country, you can bet that I'll be stood on the front line with torch and sword in hand, ready to defend to the death my rights as a free-willed person, and anyone in a fancy suit with a silver spoon stuck up their arse, who tries to stand in my way and deny the will of my fellow compatriots can either fuck off or die!

Fuck "Eccentric" People who aren't Really Eccentric - You know the kind. Those people who simply pretend to be eccentric, or play up any little tiny quirk they have to the full-on max just to make up for the lack of a personality. Don't get me wrong, I love eccentric people when it's who they genuinely are. The world needs to have it's eccentricities, otherwise this world would be a very boring place indeed. I just can't stand those fuckers who aren't in any way eccentric but will act it just to be noticed. Fuck them.

Fuck FIFA's Inconsistent Difficulty System - I love playing FIFA. I usually only play against the computer though in Manager Mode, and there's one thing I noticed about the difficulty - it changes every time you play! I stick to World Class difficulty but it's like, one day I'll start it all up and could play like an absolute legend! Dominating the opposition with ease, passing the ball around like Barcelona and scoring with every effort on goal... Then I might have a break for 30 minutes, turning it off to get a drink or something to eat, then I'll start the game back up, and now all of a sudden my players can't pass for shit (only completing about 10% of every pass), the AI defenders are right up my ass every second of the game, and any shot I do manage to get off on goal either my attackers will fluff their lines or the AI goalkeeper is basically playing like David De Gea on steroids! Like, what the fuck happened? I've not changed difficulty or playing any different to the way I was before, it's just like the game has decided to screw me over! I turn off the machine, have another break after losing 4 games on the trot, I start it back up again and suddenly I'm bossing the game again, passing/scoring with the ease of Messi. What the fuck?! Consistency please, that's all I ask for :(

Fuck the Misuse of the Word "Sexism" - Do you know what sexism means? I'm sure you do because you're intelligent people, but I'll explain it anyway. Sexism means the discrimination of someone based solely on their gender. So, what counts as someone being sexist? Refusing a woman a job because she's a woman. Refusing a guy a job because he is a guy. Thinking a woman's dumb just because she's a blonde woman. Thinking a guy's dumb just because he's a male model. Refusing to give a raise to a woman because she's got a pair of tits. Refusing to give a promotion to a guy just because the boss thinks it should go to a woman instead. You know what isn't sexist? A guy wolf-whistling a girl he thinks is attractive. Sure, some women find it irritating or rude or whatever, and that's fine for her to think that it is. But it is NOT sexist for a guy to do that. I fucking hate when people say, "Oh that guy's a disgusting sexist pig because he said he fancies a glamour model." Fuck off. That doesn't make him sexist. It's no more sexist for a group of guys to discuss the sexiness of a woman as it sexist for a group of girls to discuss the hunkiness of a guy. There are guys out there who are legitimately sexist, who only see the value of a woman based on how big her tits are. Just like there are girls out there who are legitimately sexist, who won't even consider the possibility of hiring a guy just because they want an all-female work environment. I am sick and tired of the hypocrisy of so-called "feminists" who continue to drag my gender into the gutter by thinking sexism only applies to men. Sexism applies for both genders! Fuck them, fuck off, fuck it.

Fuck Pizza Hut - I actually quite like pizzas from Pizza Hut. It's not the best pizza in the world, but it's more than satisfactory in fulfilling my pizza needs. My problem with it though, is just how ridiculously exclusive their delivery service is! I mean, the nearest Pizza Hut to me is just under a mile away, and yet they refuse to go "that far" to deliver a pizza, yet they are perfectly happy to post their menus through my letterbox. Fuck right off with that shit! I'm too far away for their motorbikes to travel to, but I'm close enough to have them hand-post leaflets through my door. I called them up and complained to them about that and the manager said, "I'm so sorry for the inconvenience caused, please allow me to give you a voucher for 1 free pizza meal and a drink of your choice." I said, "Great! Fantastic! When can I have that delivered to me then?" He said, "Well I'll send you the voucher to your address and you can claim it anytime within this calendar year." I said, "Can't I have it delivered to me today then? I'm hungry right now." He said," Sorry we don't deliver to your address." Fuck off!

Fuck Domino's Pizza - It's really hard to get pizza wrong (even the worse pizza usually tastes nice), but if you get one of the three crucial parts of a pizza (Cheese/Sauce/Base) wrong, it can spoil the enjoyment of it. With Domino's, I find it's the dough base. It's horrible. Tastes real bland but that could be forgiven if it wasn't for the really gritty dry floury texture to it. As soon as my tongue touches the bottom of that gritty flour base I can't help but to feel a huge disappointment in my mouth (and I've only ever had a couple of disappointments in my mouth before :P lol). I understand some people don't like greasy pizzas and like a dry base, but I, for one, don't. Call me naughty, but I love a big fat greasy pizza :P The only way I can enjoy a Domino's pizza is just by picking at the topping...

Fuck Bart Simpson - I really struggle to understand the appeal of him as a character. I loved The Simpsons, but I always hated Bart. He's just such a complete shithead! I know he's meant to be a brat (his name came about as a anagram for 'brat') but there's a big difference between being a brat and being a sociopath! He has zero remorse for the pain he causes people, especially to his so-called loved ones in the family. The worst is the way he treats Lisa (just watch that classic Thanksgiving episode to see just how horrible he is to her). I know there's sibling rivalry but he takes it way too far. I'm against people using violence on their kids as a means of punishment, but bloody hell I think Homer doesn't go far enough with strangling him! The worst is how Marge lets him get away with it or just excuses his bad behaviour as simply "boys will be boys". She actually defends him from Homer when he's being a total turd. For fuck sake's Marge, get off your arse and do some goddamn parenting, and discipline your "special little guy"! I hate it when they do an episode where something bad happens to Bart and the sad music plays and they are showing him with a sad face, trying to force us the viewers into feeling sorry for him, well bullshit to that! I have no sympathy at all for him when bad things happen to him. If anything, I'm cheering inside thinking, "Good, hope the little shitbag is suffering! It's the lest he deserves for all the horrible shit he's done." Long rant short, fuck Bart Simpson!

Fuck People who Hunt for Sport - OK I have no problems whatsoever with people who hunt/kill animals for food. Hey it's a part of life. Animals kill animals for food and survival all the time, and people forget that humans are animals, so yeah, I'm not fussed by that. But, to the people that kill animals just for fun with a deluded mindset that it's sport - fucking hell, you are sick in the head! When a child is found killing animals for fun, they are rightly declared a high-risk to becoming a total mental case. Well to me, that's no different to adults killing animals for fun. How in the world is shooting animals a sport? Sport is all about competitiveness on a level playing field for all competitors involved in it. Hunting is not fair. It's not competitive. You have a gun for crying out loud! It's easy as all hell to kill a creature when they can't in any way fight back as you lay 200 yards away from them hiding in the tall grass. If you really want it to be considered a sport than jump naked into a lion's den with nothing but your fists and your wits and see how well you do then fighting a lion to the death. Wish all "sport"-hunters would do that, the lions would soon do us all a favour and rid the world of these mentally-challenged psychopathic scumbags!

Fuck Marvel Fanboys - "lolz zomg this film isn't made by Marvel studios - 0 stars, it's shit much crap lolz omgroflcopter fail fail fail xD xD xD" That pretty much sums up every review you find from so-called fans of Marvel to any film bearing any slight reference to being a superhero flick (DC films getting the worst of their obsessive ire). Seriously wish these people would fuck off and die already. They're an embarrassment to Marvel and filmography in general. I bet 99% of them have never read a Marvel comic in their life, and I bet a great deal of them aren't even aware that Marvel make comics. If you love Marvel films, then good for you, please by all means enjoy them. Just please stop being a total fucktard dickhead and troll-post reviews for films that aren't made by Marvel Studios. Fuck them.

Fuck Fanboys in General - If you love something, whether it be a TV series, or a certain film, or a videogame, or a certain singer/band, or whatever, then great! Enjoy it, embrace it, love it. Shout from the rooftops your love of it if you so desire. Just don't be an absolute twat and start criticising other people's interests in something that isn't what your a fan of. If someone doesn't like what you love then fucking grow a pair, grow up and accept that everybody is different with different tastes to your own. God I hate dickheads like that!

Fuck People who Claim to Have "Allergies" - Every fucker claims to have one! I'm sure I'm the only human alive who's not allergic to anything except for a slight touch of hayfever for the first couple of days of Spring. No matter where you go, someone will always say "Oh I can't eat that, I'm allergic to it." Or they'll say, "Oh I can't eat any seafood or I'll be sick for days." Yet you see them at a pub scoffing down scampi all fine and dandy. What the fuck?! The worst are kids though. Or should I say, the parents saying their kids have them. Seriously, if you've ever been around any parents they will say shit like, "Oh my little Timmy can't eat that peanut-butter sandwich, he's allergic to wheat, gluten, nuts, and dairy." Bullshit! Make him lick the peanut butter, I guarantee he won't have any reaction to it at all, you're just saying he's allergic just to make your little boy seem special when he's not. Fuck off with that bullshit already!

Fuck Anti-Porn Campaigners - God I hate these so-called "morally" righteous do-gooder blowhards. Porn is not evil. Porn is not the work of the devil. Porn is not bad. Porn is not immoral. If used correctly (by age-appropriate users) and healthily (in moderation) and the content itself is legal (with legal-aged fully consenting actors), then porn can be the most magnificent fantastic tool for sexual pleasure which has innumerable health benefits to watching it, not least at all for mental health. Porn offers a great deal of stress-relief, from unwinding after a stressful day, to just releasing pent-up sexual energy. Porn can even be amazing at bringing a loving (married or unmarried) couple closer together both physically and emotionally. Hell, porn is probably the most important thing ever invented for the benefit of mental health in humans! So fuck those horrible stuck-up frigid ignorant people who call for a ban on porn. If you don't like porn or find porn uncomfortable to watch or just uncomfortable to your sense-of-self, then please, by all means, just don't watch it! No one's forcing you to watch it. Just don't you dare try to stop it, ban it, censor it or just outright ruin it for people (like me!) who do enjoy porn. Fuck you!

Fuck Cheryl Tweedy/Cole/Fernandez-Versini/whoever arsehole's surname she takes next - Christ, if she's the nation's sweetheart than this country really has hit the skids! I really don't get the appeal of her. All she's ever done was be in the winning girl group of a godforsaken "talent" (a term I use very lightly) show and having several number 1s in the charts (which should be changed to number 2s because those songs are so shit!). Apart from that, the only other thing she's "famous" for is marrying absolute cuntbags of men, assaulting a female black toilet attendant, contracting malaria, being unhealthily thin, and being a judge on the exact-same-just-differently-named "talent" show. It seems everyone falls for her soft-spoken "Alreet there pet, ah'm so nice an' humble an' sweet-natured, really. Ah'm just a canny down-to-earth northern lass with a heart o' gold. Ah'm the nation's sweetheart."* routine. She's actually a horrible cow (and I've actually met her/had a conversation with her, so I know for a fact how much of cow she is in real life when the cameras aren't rolling).
*Apologies to any of the real lovely Geordies out there for my attempted written Geordie accent :s lol

Fuck People Who Get Stupid Tattoos that They Later Regret - Seriously, fuck those people. Did it never occur to them at any point during the inking that their childish immature and downright idiotic tattoo will be permanent? I hate shows like "Tattoo Fixers" which showcase these horrible people and actually help them (free of charge) to cover up their craptastic tatts. These morons are like, "Well I got drunk with the lads one night and thought it'd be a laugh to get 'Willy-Licker' tattooed onto my arsehole! xD a-heh a-heh a-heh!" - Fuck off! Deal with it, you wanted it done, you got it done. Fucking enjoy it, you sad stupid sack of shit. I genuinely believe that it should be lawfully mandatory for all tattoo-parlours to require proof from you that your IQ is above 20 before they can ink you. If you're too stupid to hold an empty plastic bag in your hand for 5 seconds without it ripping, you're too stupid to have a tattoo done.

Fuck Pregnancy - Please someone tell me, please, I beg of you, please enlighten me: Why, oh why, pray tell, would any woman ever WANT to get pregnant?!! It's the worst STD you could ever wish to get! It makes you feel bloated all the time. It gives you horrible cramps all over your body. You end up losing sight of your toes for about 6 months. It makes it almost impossible to sleep in a comfy position. You sweat constantly. You feel sick and nauseous at all times of the day (sometimes lasting the full 9 months if you're super unlucky!). You're constantly having to deal with sever acid re-flux (heartburn). It makes you fart incredibly lethal toxic nerve-agent tear gas at least 20 times per day. Your spine feels about as limber and pain free as that of a 90 year old osteoarthritis sufferer. You're wildly emotional, crying at the most banal of things. You become totally obsessed with spending every penny of your money on tiny designer clothes that would just about barely fit a Barbie doll and will be thrown away within a month of finally exorcising that demon growing within you. You're stricken with an urge to talk to anyone and everything about "how far gone" you are and are unable to talk about anything else other than the parasite growing in your stomach. You also feel the need to show every and anyone black and white grainy pictures of your tumour which looks about as clear as showing someone a picture taken from a 4x2-pixel camera of a frog that's been run over by a truck. You're irritable and annoying. No one feels comfortable inviting you to any social function but feels like they have to out of pity for your condition, and if you're 8 months into the pregnancy you make everyone feel totally on edge around you in case you suddenly decide to break your waters right there and then! And after all that pain, torture and suffering, you end up spending a good number of hours (sometimes lasting for days) in one of the most excruciating pains imaginable as you shit out an ugly wrinkly bloodstained tiny demon creature that will now drain you of all your resources (from money to energy) for at least a minimum of 20 years, causing you untold levels of physical/emotional stress, exhaustion and anxiety along the way. So, all that said, I repeat my earlier question: Why, oh why, pray tell, would any woman ever actually WANT to get pregnant?!!

Fuck Donald Trump - He's a disgusting bullying toad. An odious little slimy slug of a being who doesn't know the meaning of a hard day's work (everything he's done has been funded for by his multi-millionaire father and has never had to worry about fighting through each and every day in life just for a single note). He treats everyone and everything with contempt, only seeing dollar-signs as being all that matters as to whether someone is a worthy person or not. He's vile, sexist, racist, and just an all round fat slobby ego-maniacal pig! ...But, I will give him credit for owning up to the fact that he's a cunt-bag. Most people like him try to paint themselves as the saviour of the world, whiter than white, and a moral compass for all to follow, so it's quite refreshing that he at least makes no attempt whatsoever to hide his true nasty self and says "Hey, I am an asshole, but please vote for me - let me be YOUR asshole!". Which is a lot more than can be said of his political opponent. Speaking of which...

Fuck Hillary Clinton - God she's an horrendous two-faced conniving snivelling shit-bag of a human being! Not to mention, ultra-super-mega-hypocrite. "It was absolutely justified and perfectly legal for the NSA to secretly and unlawfully spy on ordinary law-abiding citizens personal emails. We had to make sure they're not behaving in a criminal manner!" Oh right, so does that mean we can look at your emails then? You know, just to make sure you've not behaved in a criminal manner? "Absolutely NOT! You can't look at my emails, it's against my rights!" Fucking hypocritical hag. The thought of her so-called "representing all the women of the world" in the White House (if she had won the election) makes my skin crawl. I wouldn't ever want her representing my gender! She can fuck off!

Fuck The American Presidential Elections - Seriously, America, these 2 candidates were the best you could come up with to be in charge of your country? Jesus fucking Christ... I feel for you lot, I do. I think it's high time you revolted and got rid of the way you organise and run your whole election process (which is fundamentally flawed and incredibly corrupt/unfair). I mean, fuck it, just start over again. You seriously can't be no worse off doing that than keeping your current process which has led to being forced to decide between one disgusting megalomaniac cunt of a man and one horribly hypocritical shitbag of a woman...

Fuck "Celebrities" who Appear on Charity Shows - You do realise these so-called "celebs" aren't appearing on these shows out of the kindness of their heart, right? Doesn't matter whether it's a quiz show like The Chase, or if it's a big charity event like Comic Relief, every "celebrity" who appear on these things are doing it for an ulterior motive. Usually it's just for the money, oh yeah damn right they get an appearance fee of a couple of grand, or maybe even £10,000+ if they are a d-list "celeb", just for appearing at these things. It always makes me laugh when a slightly more famous celeb loses on the quiz show and says, "Oh well, I'll still give the £1000 I would have won for the charity, to the charity anyway out of my own pocket". Everyone applauds them thinking they are a saint but seem to forget that the celeb is getting paid something like £10,000 just for showing up, so £1000 to them means nothing to them. That's even if they actually keep their word and give that grand to the charity. The other reason they'll appear on these programmes is because it's just to boost their media coverage by appearing on TV, and the fee they get paid is just an added bonus to them. They don't do it out of the kindness of their hearts, I dare say they couldn't give a shit at all about the charities they play/appeal for. Fuck 'em! Plus it's usually just famous-for-being-famous "celebrities" who appear on these things anyway. Speaking of which...

Fuck Famous-for-Being-Famous "Celebrities" - Oh god, just fuck them! Who the hell gives one single solitary shit about these fuckers who've done nothing notable whatsoever to be in the public eye? They are always desperate to appear on TV, and will always show up on crappy "reality" TV shows, where they'll constantly bitch and moan about being on said show but don't think for one moment to just fuck off, yet they won't dare do that because they can't bear to face the "indignity" of actually having to work for a living... Fuck 'em!

Fuck Katie Price - The worst of the worst when it comes to being famous-for-being-famous. She's a horrible vile human being who, for whatever reason, seems to have her opinions treasured and cherished by TV executives. She's horrible, she's nasty, she's hypocritical beyond all belief. She's amazing at playing the victim whenever something goes wrong for her, yet never thinks for one minute to look in the mirror and realise that maybe, just maybe, she's the one at fault? She can only take a joke when it's her saying something nasty to someone else but the moment someone makes a joke about her she flips her shit and cries "woe is me, everyone feel sorry for me!" She's cries endlessly about how badly she wants her privacy yet could not function for one minute without the paparazzi's attention or being in the media spotlight. She's always banging the drum about how she "worked hard" to get to where she is today - bullshit! She got her tits out for a living, that ain't fucking hard work! Her tits weren't even nice tits, they were ugly inflated comedic fake balloons with nipples stuck on them! Speaking of which, she actually had the nerve to say she disapproves of other women getting their tits out for a living - ie doing exactly what she did - how fucking dare she criticise other women for doing that! Horrible hypocritical hag. She uses her children to get herself more media coverage when the public eye tires of her. Any fans that she actually has are so clearly in desperate need of psychological help and usually end up being cosmetic surgery addicts. I could carry on but, quite frankly, I've wasted enough of my precious time on her, so I'll simply finish this rant with a big round hearty "Fuck you!" to her!

Fuck Australia - I'm sorry to all my Aussie friends, but are you crazy?! It's no wonder all you Aussies out there act so damn... Australian all the time, you actually live in Australia! Why would you willingly choose to live there? The wildlife wants to kill you, the sun wants to kill you, the lack of rain wants kill you, everything wants to kill you! It's almost like as if Mother Nature intentionally made the whole huge island practically inhospitable for humans...

Fuck Earphone Buds - They will always come loose in your ear! Doesn't matter what design they are, whether they got the little ear-clips on them or not, they will always come loose. Fuck 'em! Won't some smart inventor please come up with a new smarter design that makes them sit comfortably in our ears without coming loose?

Fuck Regular Earphones - It doesn't matter which brand you get (although you are a soulless moron with more money than sense for shelling out extra on Beats, just saying...), you can't use them for longer than half an hour without your ears becoming all sweaty, red and sore. Fuck 'em!

Fuck Nando's - Horrible, bland, nasty shit. It's got no taste to it whatsoever. The only thing you do taste is "spice", but let's face it, if you want that, just buy yourself a jar of spice sauce from a supermarket, stick your finger in it and lick it off. Hey presto, you're eating something that's tastier than Nando's! And why are the drinks there always warm and flat? Disgusting fast food outlet, it really is. I fear this'll be the last thing you'll hear from me, as all the Nando's fan boys/girls are now going to to turn up at my place with pitchforks and burning torches, and going to kill me for speaking out about the "greatest restaurant ever to exist!" as they claim it to be... Fuck 'em!

Fuck Babies - Who in their right mind actually willingly agrees to having these irritants? All they ever do is shit, scream, puke, and cry. They are spoilt beyond all belief with zero survival instinct, demanding so much from everyone (it's not just the parents who suffer them, it's everyone else around them too!). They wake you up at ungodly hours of the night. They stink all the damn time, they drool and dribble relentlessly with crusty bogies forming around their noses every few minutes. They always have something wrong with them like nappy rash, or eczema, or gut trouble. Ugh, god, they are just horrible little things. I honestly don't know how the human race exists today considering the earliest humanoid with conscious thought must have thought when they had a baby, "What the fuck are we doing looking after this literal sack of flesh and shit?" Fuck 'em!

Fuck the Drunk People Stumbling Home Outside My Place Every Night - Seriously, every fucking night around 1am, there's always either a single drunk or a group of drunks wandering home, singing or chatting loudly while intoxicated. And it's always different people as well. It's never the same person or group of people drinking. Like, what the fuck? I can understand if it's just at the weekends, but it happens every single night. Who the fuck looks at their mates and think, "Well it's a Wednesday night, what do you guys want to do? I know, lets go out, hit a few clubs and get drunk off our asses!" It's fucking Wednesday! Jesus. At least alcoholics have the decency to drink at home! Fuck it off already!

Fuck Pokemon Go! - It is nothing, and I mean NOTHING like "Pokemon, but in real life!" as they claimed it to be. It is shit. And boring. I totally loved Pokemon when it first came out, in fact I still bust out my dusty old Gameboy Colour and thoroughly enjoy playing all through Pokemon Red all over again, all these years after the fact that I should have grown up by now haha But no, Pokemon Go! is rubbish. You can't battle Pokemon or other people's Pokemon. You can't do anything on it the same way that you can in the games. It's pointless. No fun whatsoever. And the fact it's free to download despite the fact that it would make Nintendo the most richest company in the world if it was say 99p or something, seems highly suspicious to me. When has a games company (even one as so-called "friendly" as Nintendo) ever declined easy money? I would not be surprised at all if the conspiracy theory about it (that it's just a tool used by governments to spy on people) is true.

Fuck Cat-Haters - What's with all the hate for cats lately? They are lovely creatures. Sure, some cats are total dickheads, but the same can be said for people! And some cats are really lovely and cuddly. To think scientists have spent a lot of time doing a lot of researching to which they concluded that if domesticated house cats were the size of full-grown tigers, they'd kill and eat you. Er, yeah, no shit! In fact, I believe such cats of that size do exist and they do kill and eat humans, what are they called again? Oh yeah, tigers! It's one of the reasons why people keep house cats as pets instead of tigers. Also, about the whole "dogs vs cats: which is better?" argument. Why can't we just enjoy both? Why does there have to be one better than the other? I mean, both animals have their pros and cons. To me, I think it's simply a case that dogs are extroverts whereas cats are introverts, both show their love for their mummy/daddy human in their own ways and both make good pets for different reasons. If you love dogs, get a dog, if you love cats get a cat. If you love both, get both. But just because you only love one of them, doesn't mean you have to hate on the other! If you do, fuck you!

Fuck Vegans - Oh wow, you grow your own totally natural 100% organic food, you say? Wow, I never knew eating meat is akin to murder! Please tell me how harmful GM foods are! Why yes I would love to know all the health benefits to eating tofu! Oh please, do tell me more about all the things you don't eat, and why I'm wrong for eating what I eat, please, I'd love to know(!) ...Or, better yet, just fuck off and die! Never has there been a group of people more asinine, more self-righteous and pompous and grandstanding. More liberal, more tit-achingly dull and arrogant and more utterly annoying than vegans. If you don't want to eat or wear/use any food or products that comes from animals, then by all means don't. No one's forcing you to. You're free to live your life how you want to live it, just please - please, don't tell me about it. I really couldn't give a shit. And don't you dare criticise me or speak down to me because I choose to include meat in my diet and I wear/use products that comes from animals. After all, you don't get me yelling at you for murdering some poor defenceless plant and feasting on it's young! Fuck you!

Fuck People Who Fall for Cons when They Really Ought to Know Better - I know there are vulnerable people out there who don't have the mental capacity to know when someone's trying to con them out of money, so I want to stress that this is NOT an attack on them. But fuck people who should be intelligent enough to know better! You see these people on TV programmes about fraud all the time, the way they talk and interact and show their thinking, you'd be mistaken for thinking that they do have some sense about them, but then they say, "Well the man on the phone sounded like he knew what he was doing, so of course I gave him my PIN number and sent him all my credit cards." What the fuck?! How can you be so damn stupid and dumb? You actually sounded like a sensible person before you said that! Quite frankly, if you're dumb enough (but not actually mentally retarded) to give a random stranger your PIN and card, then you deserve to lose your money. Fuck you!

Fuck Social Justice Warriors - You know the kind of people on social medias who jump on the latest bandwagon, getting all high and mighty and upset about the latest news story to piss them off. You can look at nearly ever thing they jumped on, and find a great deal of vault with it. For example, Cecil the Lion. You remember the lion killed by that dentist. Well I'm the first to agree that it was a disgusting immoral thing for that dickhead dentist to do to such a majestic creature. But the thing everyone on social media who started rattling their sabres at the dentist seemed to forget is that Cecil is and won't be the last lion shot dead by a hunter. There's been loads of lions killed by hunters in recent years, even during the year before Cecil was shot, yet where were these people then crying out in anger at the act? These people are idiots, they are just as quick to drop their "cause" when it's no longer fashionable to do so. Their so-called "causes" are just fads to them, they couldn't give a shit about it a month after the event happens. They are not "fighting for change", they are just hopping on the next flashy bandwagon so they can rage at something which means nothing to them. Fuck 'em!

Fuck Unwashed Cocks - You know who you are. Those of you guys out there who don't wash your dicks yet expect a girl to still suck on it, fuck you! Just wash your cock, dude, is it that hard? If I ever go down on a guy and his dick is smelling like cheese, I'm getting the fuck out of there! Fuck you!

Fuck Immortality - Have you ever imagined what life would be like if you could never ever die? I'll tell you what it would be like: Hell! What a horrid fate that would be. I mean, think about it, you have to spend eternity watching anyone you got close to die. Having friends would become an inept exercise for you because the heartache of seeing them die of old age while you remain forever stuck at your age would render it pointless. After several million years of being alive, time would cease to process in your brain the way it does now. If some catastrophic event wiped out humanity and all other life forms completely, you'd quite literally be the last thing alive. And there'd be no end to it. You'd go insane with loneliness. No matter what you do, no matter how you try to commit suicide just to end your mental torment and suffering, you could NEVER escape from it. You'd still feel pain, you'd still feel hunger, but your brain will forever function despite ending up crippled with insanity. Death sucks in life, I certainly don't look forward to my own, and seeing close loved ones die is a horrible experience to go through, but there is a much worst experience than that, and it's called immortality. Be thankful you're not immortal. Fuck it!

Fuck Spiders - If ever you wanted proof that Mother Nature is a nasty cruel mistress, you only have to look at the fact these horrible creatures exist! If you somehow never came across a spider in your life, never once saw what one looks like, and someone asked you to draw the most evil looking creature you can imagine, chances are really high that you'd draw a spider! They are creepy nasty evil-looking pervy (they're always in the bathroom, watching you wee/poop/bathe so obviously they are perverts!) creatures. Fuck 'em!

Fuck My Cousin - So I was at a family BBQ at the weekend. Sadly I didn't get any of the special "sausage" I like to get at BBQs :P lol I mean, it was a family event, only my relatives were there so, no Sausage'n'Cream for Angelica :( lol
Anyway, I was being real polite and friendly to everyone. Chatting away and having a laugh. My cousin (who I haven't seen for a year, by the way, and who used to always be like a sister to me) was there too, so I was glad to see her and wanted to chat to her. I called her over as she was like 30ft away from me. She came over, said hello and I began the conversation with a "Hey, what have you been up to this last year?" She answered me, speaking loads actually without letting me get a word in edge wise. Finally, she finished talking. She didn't ask me anything. Didn't ask, "So then, Angelica, how are you?" or "So what have you been up to?". There was no "How's life?", "How's your job?". Just nothing. Zilch. Zip. Nada. She just turned and looked at her phone. She wasn't doing anything on her phone, wasn't reading/writing a text, not even playing a game. Just stared at her home screen. "So, er, things are going well at the hairdressers." I said to her after a couple of painfully long minutes of awkward silence. "Yeah?" She asked, not even looking up from her phone. "Yeah, in fact it was so funny! The other day, this customer came in with a real-" Before I could even finish the sentence, she looked up from her phone and shouted across to her aunt (who she sees almost every day so it wasn't like it was urgent that she spoke to her) "Hey did you speak to Hannah* at work the other day about that thing?" And with that she walked off and carried on chatting to her aunt, completely blanking me as stood there in the background like a spare prick at a wedding. (*Name may have been changed to protect identities) Well, fuck you too bitch! How fucking rude, is that?I was seething, I wanted to shout at her, call her out for being so rude to me like that. But of course, social norm dictated that I didn't create a scene and ruin the party for everyone else. But still, it was so rude of her. I mean, I had to stand there listening to her talk crap for 5 minutes, the least she could do was return the favour and listen to my crap for a minute. Jesus fucking Christ. I hate people being really rude like that. If she didn't want to talk to me, she didn't have to chat bullshit to my face for 5 minutes before ignoring me. The worst thing is, about 10 minutes later, she came back over to me and carried on trying to talk to me about herself. Still, I managed to get some form of payback. I listened to her for a minute, before I then just suddenly said to her with a smile on my face while she was mid-sentence, "Hey, I don't care! :)" And walked off, mentally giving her both fingers as I did lol Fuck her!

Fuck Singers These Days - I'm well aware I sound like an old fart saying that haha Geez, I'm only 25 (at time of writing this)! lol It's just a very, very rare thing to come across good singers these days. By good, I don't necessarily mean they should be hitting every single note crisply and cleanly, I just mean good as in they should have a pleasant voice that you actually want to/enjoy listening to, regardless of the genre of music. Most rock singers sound nasally and whiny, most indie bands sound like the lead vocalist has only just wiped his mother's milk of his lips. Most of the female singers in those genres sound like " 2 kool for skool!" catty bitches who hang out in the toilets all day smoking. By far, the worst offenders though, has to be in pop music. And the worst part of that, is that they can't even be bothered to attempt to sing the songs anymore. They just mumble the lyrics drunkenly like some booze hound stumbling home on a 5am Sunday morning. It seems to be the hot new trend in pop as on every single new release, the singers are sounding drunk or drugged up on heroin. During the recording session, did the guy behind the booth's glass say to the singer, "Oh yeah, please, by all means, don't sing the words coherently, just drunkenly mumble them. It's going to sound great!". Rihanna is the absolute worst of the worst in terms of "singing" (a term I use very lightly to describe what she does) drunk, followed closely by Drake. Followed by a real long line of drunk-singing offenders. It really says a lot when rappers (actual rappers who rap, not fake "Yo check it, I'm from da mean streets of Cambridge, bruv!" pretenders) are much better at singing than so called "professional singers" in pop, considering they never ever sing! As far as I'm concerned, if you can't be bothered to sing the words of your songs properly, I ain't going to bother listening to you. Fuck 'em!

Fuck Periods - God I hate them. Every woman does. It's like each month Mother Nature comes along and says, "Hi there you gorgeous daughter of Eve you, I see you're in the prime of your life, so fresh and young. So fertile and full of energy :) You know what you need? :O *hits the poor girl extremely hard in the stomach with a metal baseball bat and starts to stomp the ever loving bloody shit out of her!* There we go, enjoy the rest of your week, see you next month! :)" ...Just, fuck off with that shit! Fuck it!

Fuck "Always" Adverts Speaking of periods, fuck that really irritating misleading advert for Always period pads/products. If you knew next to nothing about periods, and you watched one of those adverts, you'd be forgiven for thinking that periods are exciting fun things which every woman looks forward to. In those adverts, they always show a woman on her period as being really happy and really living life up to the max, she's doing exciting things like jumping around at a festival, or she's riding a bike with carefree glee, or she's doing some rock-climbing, or she's bungee jumping off a bridge, or she's partying with her friends. Basically, she's doing everything a woman DOESN'T do when she's on the rag! If it was me making one of those adverts, I'd make it a little more realistic. My advert for it would be like this: You see a woman without makeup on or her hair done up, she's just curled up on the sofa in a worn-out onesie/bathrobe holding a hot water bottle against her sore aching stomach. She lifts her leg and rips out a big fart every couple of seconds, all while groaning in pain. And then her boyfriend enters the room and sits beside her, he puts his arm around her and after a few snuggly kisses from him he suggests moving things to the bedroom, to which she says, "OK but I should warn you, I'm on my period..." and he pulls a disgusted face before quickly turning it into a feigned smile and says "Oh right, no, nevermind love, please, you just rest..." Then he quickly leaves. Then the tagline would appear on screen saying "Always. No one else wants to go near your vagina, but we Always will!" ...Fuck it!

Fuck Constipation Relief Adverts - OK, unlike Always adverts, these adverts for constipation relief medicines aren't actually misleading or wrong in any way. It's just, they never show the most vital scene needed in each advert for them. They always show the woman (it's only women who get constipated apparently...?!) before when she's full and bloated and in need of a good dump! And then she takes the medicine, then it cuts strait to afterwards, where she's now happy with a spring in her step and feeling much lighter. Where's the important bit in between though? Why don't they show her after she takes the medicine, entering a bathroom, then 20 seconds later you hear a really big loud echoing fart and "SPLOOSH!" sound swiftly followed by an extremely relieved sigh? Now there would be an advert that wouldn't get a "fuck it!" from me =D haha

Fuck "Black Lives Matter UK" - It's very telling when an organisation which was founded for and run by black people for black people, is hijacked by a group of white, over-privileged, ultra-leftist, smelly, 21st Century college campus hippies with far too much time on their hands and not enough brain cells in their head. Seriously, they haven't got a single black member in their group, and I'm not surprised, as all the black people I've spoken to on the matter all agree that they do NOT want these moronic dolt-headed buffoons representing them and feel ashamed/embarrassed by their actions. Fuck 'em! That said, it's not just BLMUK who deserve a big "fuck you!"...

Fuck "Black Lives Matter" - Considered extremely controversial for a white person such as myself to say in today's ultra-PC world, but it needs to be said: Fuck Black Lives Matter! They are such a hypocritical down right racist organisation. Don't get me wrong, I wholeheartedly agree that the unlawful killing of black people is wrong and shouldn't be allowed to happen. Just as I wholeheartedly agree that the unlawful killing of white people, or Hispanic people, or Asian people, or Jewish people, or whatever colour/creed of people is wrong and shouldn't be allowed to happen. The same can be said about the way I totally agree that the unlawful persecution of black people is wrong, just as it is totally wrong to unlawfully persecute any race of people no matter what colour they are. It's all well and good protesting, causing widespread disruption to the system when a white policeman shoots a black person dead for no lawful reason (although there are times when it is lawful for police to kill, yet that's a debate for a whole another rant!) but where oh where are these people with their signs and anger when it's some black drug-dealer being shot dead by some drugged out black kid? Or where are they when it's some black gang-members shooting dead a group of other black gangsters? Where are they when it's some black shop owner being shot dead in a robbery by some messed up black teenager just for a couple hundred dollars? Where are they then? Why aren't they fighting to stop that from happening? It seems to me, the majority of people who support/are involved in the BLM organisation (not all the people, I stress, but the majority) want to see segregation in humanity. They don't want equality, they want black people to be the top race above all others. They only want the world to be fair and equal so long as it's only fair and equal to the black race and not to the other races of the world. They want it to be Blacks vs Whites, and will scoff at the mere suggestion that not every white person in the world hates black people. The way the majority (again majority, not all of them) of BLM members/supporters view white people, the prejudices they have of white people, the stereotypes of white people, could easily be classed as racism by the world if it was an organisation called "White Lives Matter" who had those same views of black people. Yet, because they are black, it's "not racist" to be prejudice against white people... It's disgusting, it's wrong, fuck it!

Fuck The Daily Mail - If what they printed in their good-for-nothing-except-as-toilet-paper tabloid was really true and accurate, than we'd have all died right at the moment that we took our very first breaths in life after being born, because according to them, everything (and I mean EVERYTHING!) gives us cancer and kills us instantly. I would type a list of all the things they claim causes cancer/other painful and instantaneous causes of death, but quite frankly I don't feel like writing out a 8.2 billion worded list of things! ...Fuck 'em!

Fuck Pandas - Sure, they are extremely cute cuddly (although you wouldn't want to cuddle them unless you value having skin!) looking animals, but my god, I've never come across a species of animals (except for maybe the dodo) who are so desperate to make themselves extinct! I can just imagine the way a panda's mind thinks: "So I, er, haven't really come across another one of me in this place for a while now, I'm starting to think that I may be an endangered species, in fact maybe the next time I see a mate I'll have a good shag and breed? ...On seconds thoughts, nah! Just a waste time, shagging. Still, with all this extra free time I now get to spend NOT fucking, maybe I can be a lot more productive in my environment! ...Then again, just sitting here in this same spot for 24 hours a day chewing on sticks of this real hard grass which has the absolute most bare minimal of nutritional value and takes up a huge amount of effort and energy just to digest, is a much better way to spend one's time while awaiting for death :) " Seriously, fuck 'em!

Fuck Feminazism - Seriously, you feminazis are giving the rest of us girls a really bad name, and turned feminism into a really dirty word. In fact my first reaction to being called a feminist is one of offensive insult thanks to the actions of you man-hating dictatorial divisive stuck-up ignorant bitches who seek to divide humanity rather than bring humanity closer together. Fuck you!

Fuck Faith-Healers - Fuck you, you con artists, you're the lowest of the low. At least scum-bag con artists who rob little old ladies on their doorstep admit to doing so simply for their own selfish financial gratification, as disgusting as their actions are. But you faith-"healers", you are by far much more worse because you make your dirty money by conning it out of desperate people while spoon-feeding them false hope that they may be cured of their cancer, or be able to walk again after a lifetime of being crippled, all in the name of a higher power that you claim to work for. And when, surprise surprise, those poor desperate people don't get better and die after giving you their hard-earned life-savings, you put the blame on them for not having a "strong enough faith" in you or the higher power you claim to work for. Fuck you, you nasty pieces of bile-spewing diarrhoea-mouthed arse-gravy shits!

Fuck Summer Heatwaves - Too hot and uncomfortable to do anything in them, only serves to make you feel all sweaty, sticky and dirty (and not in the good way!) all of the time despite how much bathing/showering you do.

Fuck The iPhone 7 - Stupid, stupid, pointless, stupid, stupid, scam, pointless, stupid, stupid...

Fuck Apple - Seriously, fuck 'em, nothing but con-artists who release gadgets every couple of months with very little to no improvements over previous versions of said gadgets and charge you like £400 for the privilege. The iPod Classic is alright though. Speaking of Apple...

Fuck Steve Jobs - He was a complete arsehole. I know he's dead now but that doesn't mean he should be excused for his arsehole-ry behaviour in life. Fuck him.

Fuck Microsoft - Talk about fixing things when there's no problems. Windows XP was an amazing desktop, there was no need for the disaster that was Windows 8. And don't even get me started on Windows 10! Why the hell did they get rid of MSN Messenger (the best of all messengers, in my humble opinion)? And why the fuck did they think making The Sims 4 online-only would be a good idea?! ...The Xbox consoles have been pretty great though, and thank god they changed their minds over the original plans for the Xbox One. But still, fuck 'em!

Fuck No-Content xHamster Profiles - Just, why? Why create a profile if you're not going to have any content in it? Not even a single favourite video or filled out basic bio. I don't get it, especially when said profiles have been signed up for a few thousand days. Fuck 'em!

Fuck xHamster's Censorship Policy in Posts/Stories - http://xhamster.com/user/ms_cream_puff/posts/560542.html ...Need I say more?

Fuck Jamie Oliver - An absolute turd of a guy, fuck off with your "healthy eating" crap. Practise what you preach, idiot, if eating healthy (as you claim to do so) stops people from getting fat than how comes you're a podgy chubster yourself? Fuck your sugar tax wanting ways, fuck your stupid naming of your kids (Buddy Bear? River Rocket? Fuck off!). Fuck your stupid health campaigns. Stop trying to force people to eat what you think they should eat. Fuck your disgusting recipes. Fuck your " 30 minute " meals which actually take about 2 hours of preparation to cook. Fuck the way you take a good piece of food, and turn it into crap-on-a-plate. Just fuck you!

Fuck The Health Minister - Fuck you for actually listening to Jamie Oliver!

Fuck Jeremy Hunt - There's a reason your surname rhymes with "cunt". Fuck you!

Fuck David Cameron - Hey Dave, Mrs Merkel called, she says she's got your balls hanging around on her necklace! Speaking of which...

Fuck Angela Merkel - How dare you endanger more innocent people's lives with your open-border policy. You're as much to blame for the rapes/deaths in the European attacks as the migrants/terrorists themselves. Fuck you!

Fuck George Osborne - Little wimpy lap-dog who had been given far too much power. Fuck you and all those exaggerated claims about post-Brexit Britain.

Fuck All Politicians - This list would be filled to the brim if I listed every politician I hate, so yeah, just fuck all of 'em!

Fuck Remainers - Sorry, you lost, deal with it. It's called democracy. You don't always get the result you want in a vote (god knows I've witnessed results of votes throughout my whole life which I didn't want or agree to) but by demanding a re-vote just shows blatant disrespect and disregard for the democratic process. Either put up, or shut up.

Fuck Call of Duty - Activision/Treyarch are basically just the Apple of the gaming world. Releasing the same old shit year after year with no innovation/no change to the previous product, yet still charging a ton of money for it. And don't even get me started on their DLC content. Fuck off with that scam. Modern Warfare/Modern Warfare 2, and Black Ops were pretty fun though. But still, fuck it!

Fuck Assassin's Creed - Read the above "Call of Duty", which is the same that can be said for Ubisoft and their Assassin's Creed titles. Black Flag was amazingly fun though.

Fuck the Playstation Pro - I just have one question regarding it: Why? You'd have to have more money than sense if you already own a PS4 to shell out another £350 just so you can use it with a 4K TV... Stupid. Pointless. Fuck it.

Fuck Non-Chocolate Flavoured Cum - OK, I actually love and enjoy the taste of man cream myself :P lol but I do understand why most women hate it. It's an acquired taste, really. Still, if only it was chocolate flavoured, every woman in the world would be a passionate swallower like I am if it was! ;)