(Unfinished) The story of "E."

I have written about my first gay sexual experiences before. In fact, after xhamster decided to erase everyone's personally written stories, it was one of the first that I recreated here, as a "Post," called, "My first experiences." I have hinted about where that first encounter led, but never really explored on here the full extent of it, the tenderness of his touch, the overwhelming arousal and pleasure... until now.

I was young, I was just so caught up in this thrilling, amazing, seemingly surreal world of gay, interracial sex.

That first time, had he seen something in me or did he just take a chance? Maybe I was just one in a long list of young men that he had seduced and/or introduced to it. All I remember for sure was the unsureness, at first. How I so quickly craved his touch, how incredible it could make me feel. How incredible it could make my whole body feel.

It was just a touch at first. Yet, it sent jolts of electricity through my whole body and made my brain tingle. A man's touch had never made me hard before, but then again I had never been touched with such purpose before, either. Just on my thigh, I seemed to melt into the car's seat. I could of stopped him, but I did not want to. I was so hard! His touch felt so good! He undid my pants as I sat there and worked them down, exposing my arousal. That first time! His big, warm, wet, horny mouth! My eyes rolled back as he expertly sucked and pleasured me. I had been with girls, but nothing had ever felt this incredible before. The pleasure was so unbelievable, so instantly addicting. He drove me home, playfully touching leg. I felt embarrashed that I was already, again, so hard!

It was a dizzy blur of arousal, nervous excitement and an intense orgasm. He brought me to the edge of it, several times, then finally made me cum. He sensually moaned softly and swallowed every drop. My whole body quivered, my every nerve felt on it's end.

It was in his car that I got up the nerve to touch him for the first time. Just through his pants, but it was absolutely thrilling. He felt so hard and impossibly huge. It was the biggest turn on and he could tell it's effect on me. He took it out. Gosh, I wanted it so much! I was just still so nervous. I was not supposed to want it, right? I felt him and ran my fingers over his considerable length. He was so hard and so thick! His tip was wet with precum. It coated my fingers and lubed his shaft as I stroked him. I had never been so turned on!

Days later, it was all I could think of. I knew that I would see him and tgis time, I was determined to do more! This time, I told my eager, horny self, this time I would suck his cock! Sitting in his car, his hand touching my thigh. I was already so hard, so excited. I put mine on his and lustfully touched his crotch. He was already erect and hard, too! I asked him to take it out. Yes, I was getting bolder. I wanted it so much, now. I leaned into his lag and stretched my lips around his cock's huge, engorged head. Oh, I loved it! He quickly stopped me, though. I never knew why. Maybe, he just wanted to make sure that it was what I really wanted. Maybe, he knew that denying me it would only make me want it more. He was so very right.

After all those, "car dates," he had me over that to his place. A small house that he shared with a female roommate. He had a way of talking so casually about the most tabbo of things. It was disarming, maybe freeing. He talked about kissing, about anal sex. Things that I was not, at first, ever interested in. But, it opened the doors. That afternoon, it was my first time being completely nude in front of a man, in front of anyone. I asked him to get undressed, also. Yes, I asked for it. Another rung on that ladder, climbed. I felt so much more at ease, now, being nude together. I had never seen a man's body as sexual before. Heavy set, yet beautiful. That huge, hanging dark dick. I had come to crave the sight of it, to love the feel of it. He asked if he could give me a massage. I layed down and as he got on top of me, I could feel that amazing cock drag against and come to rest on my lower back. His hands were magic, relaxng me and heightening my arousal. He moved himself down, his now erect, massive dick slid down my ass crack. He rubbed my ass, squeezing it with his big hands. He told me to roll over and I did. I was ready for anything! My cock, so hard that it almost hurt! I liked it when he saw me, so aroused! How hard he could make me. He moved back up my body, licking my raging erection. He lowered his ass down onto me. Guiding my cock into his warm opening. I just could not take my eyes off of his BBC. So sexual, so big and dripping precum. His grinding on my cock, oh, it felt so good, but my pleasure, my desires, my arousal, seemed focused on his impressive cock, somehow. I just loved to touch it, to stroke it, to rub his precum into it.

I could feel his asshole squeezing and edging me. He leaned forward and pressed his big lips to mine and pushed his tongue inside. I never thought that I would like kissing a guy, just the opposite. But, in that moment, it just felt so right. He moved back up and started to stroke himself as I watched, so intently, so close to my face. His big hand, still hardly able to wrap around himself, squeezed and pulled on his shaft. His moans, his sounds, his breathing, they were infectious. I felt so close, then, the first thick, white rope of semen shot out from his tip and landed on my face and lips. What I once surely thought would be repulsive, somehow now was such a turn on. I immediately felt my own orgasm push over the edge and explode into him, making my whole body shake. Another stream of his cum shot out and splashed across my chin and into my mouth. He had always swallowed mine, would I, could I, do the same? I felt imtoxicated.

Yet, another rung on that ladder. I think he knew the affect of it. The mental, the physical affect of it. Getting cummed on, tasting it, swallowing it. It's undeniable power, overwhelming and addictive. Things seemed to progress quickly after that. Desires expanded, new lusts were opened and explored. I did not consider myself gay, but I did love being gay with him. It was only days later when he picked me up and I asked if we could go back to his place. He flashed that big, knowing , warm smile. I think I blushed. Once inside, there was only one thing I wanted. With him standing close, I sat on the edge of the sofa and quietly started to undo his pants. I think it surprised him, I had become more bold. I had become infatuated with his BBC, and wanted more. I knew that I wanted it in my mouth. Oh, the sight of him, it made me sigh. I kissed his length, as if in love, maybe I was. I held him and marveled at his size, once more. Pointing his growing cock at my mouth, I wrapped my lips around him and strained to fit him inside. This time, he did not stop me. I sucked on his cock's head and stroked his thick shaft with one hand and caressed his huge balls with the other. I just loved it!

"You're gonna make me cum." I never thought hearing those words could excite me so much. I never thought I would moan out, "Yes, I want your cum." He took my hand and put it on his big ass. I squeezed it and cupped it, running my figers along his crack. Anything to help him reach orgasm. I wanted to taste his cum again. I wanted to take his cum. That big, beautiful shaft, Istroked it harder and sucked on his tip, so very eagerly. I let my fingers find his asshole, I rubbed it, I pushed one inside him. He moaned out and released a powerful stream of thick, warm jizz. I swallowed it, without thinking, without hesitation. It made me moan. More cum filled my mouth and spilled out the sides. I pulled away, but continued to stroke him, getting rewarded with more shooting and oozing cum on my face and tongue.

It was crazy! Just a whirl wind, a complete change of what I thought and what was. Everything changed or was it just under the surface, waiting to be awoken. I remember a time, in my bedroom. No one else was home. The thought of being so gay there was oddly exciting to me, just so forbidden. I got on my knees and buried my face in E's massive, manly balls. I had come so far, so quickly. Climbing that invisible ladder of sexual discovery. My cock dripped, I was so turned on. As good as he could make me feel, getting his full attention. I was finding the just as pleasurable joy of giving back that attention.

It is difficult to fully explain the thrill of it all. The forbidden, yet overpowering urges and lusts. Just desiring cock so much, waiting for it, thinking about it. Gay sex, it just was not allowed like it is now. It was an interracial affair, also. It just was not done, back then either. Yet, I would lay awake in bed at night. Wishing he was there, dreaming about being everything that we would do, that we had done before. Being nude together, feeling his soft, full lips again.

Again, just within days, I could not wait to see him again. I felt so gay for him. I wanted him to know it, as if he didn't already. I got in his car, it was getting dark. I slid over to him and kissed him on the lips. For a younger version of myself, that was huge. Just a huge step, it was emotion, it seemed it was maybe more than just sex. We sat for awhile and just made out, like the teenager I was. He asked if I wanted to fuck, I quickly said yes. I assumed that he meant me fucking him, like we had before, with him on top. However, I came to realize, almost in that instant, that I was ok with him wanting to fuck me, too. Even though the thought of trying to take his enormous erection was absolutely frightening, I still began to know that I wanted him to, I wanted him inside me. I could imagine his cock stretching me, his cum filling me.

It was so incredible to be nude again with him. We had shared so much, I had experienced so much. Bolder, more open, more willing to give in, to show passion. Kissing him as we stood next to his bed. I was already so hard, as always. Feeling the object of so much lust in my hands, he grew and got so hard, too. We moved to the bed and he got on all fours with me right behind him. "Will you lick me?" I did not think seeing his big ass would be such a turn on. The delicate folds of his opening looked so inviting. Putting my hands on his ass cheeks, they looked so small, his ass so huge. Those big, beautiful balls, tight against his body, shaved and smooth. I just wanted to please him, but, after running my tongue along his asshole. I could not deny the thrill of it. I licked his hole and sucked on his huge balls. Giving into my lusts and desire for them. His asshole soaked in saliva. Precum dripping from my tip, I got on my knees behind him and pushed my hard dick up his ass until my balls slapped against him. He moaned, I think I smiled. My first time fucking. My first time holding onto hips and ramming my cock in, to anyone. Fuck, the feeling, the sensation, the pleasure, it was so addicting! I fucked him hard, as hard as I could as he moaned out, saying "Yes, yes!" That incredible feeling of a building orgasm washed over me. I came so hard, deep up his ass and then collapsed next to him. He moved his face to mine, "That was nice!" he whispered. He pressed his big lips to mine. I opened my mouth and felt his tongue. I rolled him onto his back and got on top of him. Another kiss, then I grabbed his huge dick and rubbed his precum covered tip along my own asshole. He looked into my eyes, surprised maybe. Silently, I rubbed it against me. It felt amazing but impossibly huge. We both knew that there was no way. "Maybe you should get together with T," he said. A friend of his. I remember feeling angry that he had told someone our secret. I was so naive. He said that it was ok, that T was gay. That T did not want any of this to get out. I had seen T before. He was also black, but pretty much the physical opposite of E. Lean, shorter, muscled and extremely fit. Handsome, as I was beginning to notice that men could be. "He has a nice cock, but smaller. He could be your first, if ypu want." The thought started to turn me on. I sucked E's cock as he stroked himself and fed another huge cumshot. We layed there, together, both nude and spent. As happened often, I was hard again quickly and fucked E a second time before his roommate got home from work.

I had not really noticed, but it started to occur to me that I hardly thought about sex with girls anymore. Was it a phase or had E and his beautiful BBC changed me? Now, with thoughts of his friend T, my cock and cum craving went into overdrive. Beautiful, dark, cumming cocks, shooting their white, hot cum. It was what I desired. Having felt it on my lips, silky and warm. Having tasted it, delicious, cravable and addicting. Thinking of T, of possibly being with him and what might hapen, I began to realize that maybe my desires and urges had evolved past E. Maybe it wasn't him, exactly. Maybe it was just cock. Maybe it was just black cock and the beautiful men that wielded them. I started to think that it wasn't just gay sex with E, I started to think it was just gay sex, period. I also didn't exactly realize it then, but having sex with a young, handsome, fit white boy was probably a thrill for them, too. Many years later, I wondered if it might of always been their plan. E to seduce and introduce me to the lifestyle. T to break me in and then for both of them to use me. Truthfully, I think I was the one getting what I wanted and doing the using!

The thought of being with another guy was such a turn on for me, more than I ever expected or thought it could be. Again, it was all such a whirl wind. Thoughts or if this was just a young phase or a deeper meaning barely occured to me. It was just the thrill of it, the pleasure of it all. Thinking about being with T, only my second guy, made me so hard. Drifting off in class, thinking about what would happen, I would have to adjust myself under my waist band to hide my erections. Was I really going to take cock in the ass? I already knew that I would, I wanted it so much. I imagined him just laying back and watching me pleasure him. Making him nice and hard. My eyes closed, my lips, tongue and mouth memorizing his every detail. Every amazing, vein covered inch, every curve of his cock's head and every wrinkle of his sexy, cum filled ball sack. I would let myself give in.

E dropped me off at T's place. It was both strange and exciting knowing that I was only there to have gay sex with a back man that I hardly knew. The days that led up to now, the hours, the minutes, they were all filled with such erotic fantasy. Now, I stood at his door and knocked. I looked at the floor sheepishly and stole glances into his eyes, trying to fiqure out what he was thinking. When he asked if I wanted to go to the bedroom, I said yes. We both quietly took off our clothes. I statred to get hard just from the sight of him. His dark cock looked so sensual, so arousing. He laid back on the bed, I laid down next to him. Lean, fit and muscled, he looked like he was straight out of a magazine. Guiding my face to his nipple, I kissed and licked it. I could tell that he wanted me to take my time and I loved it. His beautiful, big dick, although no where near as big as E's, began to move. It was just so erotic! E had taught me the sensual nature of a kiss. I moved my mouth along T's neck until I could press it against his full lips. Kissing him, feeling his tongue on mine, I took his stiffening cock in my hand and caressed it. Back to his nipple, it seemed to turn him on. I just wanted to please him.

Laying between his legs now, I kissed and licked his full, tight balls. His encouraging words of, "Yeah, that's nice." made me want him so much. Sexy and fully erect, I ran my lips, my mouth along his shaft, teasing him, heightning his pleasure and I hoped desire. I wanted him to fuck me. I wanted him to be my first. "Come here," he said. With a smile, I moved back up his beautiful body and lethim kiss me deeply. His hand found my ass, squeezing it, before running down my ass crack and pressing his finger tips against my hole. I don't know how to explain the sensation, the moment. I guess it seemed like what I thought might be, "making love." It was slow, it was soft and passionate. It was perfect. He reached over to a night stand. Somehow, I had not seen the bottle of lubricant sitting on it. I felt myself become nervous, more nervous excitement, I think, though. I wanted cock. I wanted to know what it was like to take it, to be fucked. He put it on his fingers and onto my opening, then pushed one finger inside. I sighed and he continued to kiss me as I held and slowly stroked his magnificent erection. He pushed another finger into me, stretching me open. It hurt, but I let out a soft, "Yes," without even thinking. He moved his fingers in and out, it made me kiss him hard!

"Do you want to get on top?" With a lump in my throat, I climbed up and straddled him. He rubbed his lubed fingers along his cock, then held my hips. Like E had done, that first time, I took his cock in my hand and guided it to my now ready asshole. Pushing my hole out to accept him and moving myself down onto him, his magnificent, black dick was inside me. It was this dizzying blur of desire and forbidden want. He puthis hands on my cheeks and pulled me open. I slide down his shaft deeper. I looked down to see a clear, sticky thread of precum from my tip to his belly. I put my hands on his chest, feeling his full size inside me and grinded and moved back and forth, up and down.

He rolled my over, onto my back and pushed my legs to my chest. He filled me once more with his big, beautiful dick. We were both breathing harder now. From both of us, soft moans and yes's. I held my legs back and just let me fuck me. "Mmmm, you got a tight ass. You're gonna make me cum." Yes, yes, I wanted it! I wanted to feel it! "Turn around, I'm gonna cum in you deep." I got on all fours for him. My asshole felt opened and gaped. So very ready for him. Hands gripping my hips, holding me frimly, he began to slam into me. Harder and harder, his BBC slammed into me. No, this was not, "making love," this was getting fucked. He knew how to ease and break a white boy in, only to use and abuse his hole later. Grunts and groans now. I actually was slamming back into him, also, saying out loud, "Yes, yes!" Realizing and reveling in getting fucked, good and hard. He moaned out and filled me with his black seed. I felt a strange and wonderful sense of pleasure, purpuse and ease. I could feel his body shake, pressed up against me, as his warm fluid continued to flood into and fill me. When he pulled out I felt so sore and empty. I also felt so, in a way, owned. But, I liked it.

I had no idea what would come next. I had not really thought that far ahead, honestly. Days later, one thing was becoming clearer. As my soreness wore off, the urge and desires took over, once more. Now, I was ready and willing for more, for anything. Having felt T's cock, I knew that I wanted E's BBC to fill me, also. I just wanted to be so gay with them both. Maybe even at the same time. My young, secret, libido was raging. How had I begun to be so attracted to ass. I found it so sexy and arousing, now. The way I used to think about girls and pussy was being replaced by men and ass and cock. It was kind of a rewiring of drive and mind. How I could crave it so much? It was so powerful and so consuming.

I found myself at T's again. The way he looked at me. I can only guess what he was thinking. Did I want to be used? Was I actually the one doing the using? I could feel precum already forming at my cock's tip as we undressed. I was so anxious, so excited to be with him again. I was discovering just how strong my lusts and attractions really were. I think it was becoming clear to me. This wasn't just sex and getting off, a way to explain it all away. I lusted after these men. I lusted after their bodies. Realizing that I was gay for them made it easier to just give in completely to those desires. " You look so good," I think my boldness kind of surprised him. "I want to suck you so bad." He simply said, "Yeah man," under his breath. I could not hide my lust, I did not want to. As if he knew what I wanted, that I wanted to experience more, layed back on the edge of the bed. His beautiful, black dick flopped and came to rest against his belly and thigh. I felt such an incredible rush of appreciation and lust! I wanted to show him that, also. I felt so driven, so horny and overwhelmed. I moved his legs up as I kneeled down between his legs. I licked his gorgeous, dark asshole. That incredible rush and tingle came over me and that feeling of my precum flowing. His tight hole felt amazing on my tongue. "Mmm, you like that ass?" He had a way of making me just want to be such a sissy. He seemed to always know what I needed. At this moment, it was to proclaim my lusts. I wanted to say it out loud, he gave me the chance. "Yes, I love it," I said the words with out stopping my licking and lapping. "You like black dick?" Mmmmm, yes, so much! I moaned out, "Yes, I love your black dick." "You want to get fucked? You want to eat cum?" I felt such a rush! "Yes, yes, I want it!" "Suck on those balls first," all I could do was moan. Feeling them on my lips, sucking on them, giving into my lust for him, I said, "I love your balls." Simple words, but they meant so much. I was proclaiming it, to myself as much as to him. "Suck that dick. Do you love it?" "Yes, I love it!" T fucked me hard that afternoon, vebal and aggressive. Spanking my ass cheeks, hard enough that he made them sting. Gripping my waist, hard enough to leave marks. Calling me what I was, so much so that it kind of changed who I thought I was.

There were several things that stood out for me in the months that followed. Sometimes subtle, but meaningful things. T telling my how horny he was. I was pressed for time, I knew people were waiting on me, yet I let him take me from behind as we stood. So very much his sissy, now. Pushing my pants down, letting him slide his hard cock up inside meand fuck me hard until he released. Giving into him, on yet another occassion. Laying down on the bed as he stroked himself to get off quickly. Again pressed for time. I just waited for his cumshot, caressing and rubbing his big, balls as he brought himself closer and closer. Had he guided me to this postion or had I just assumed it? His cock looked so sensual, so beautiful and powerful. I inhaled sharpely as the first potent stream of wonderful, white jizz spurted and flowed out of him, clinging to my face and chin. As if marking me, I felt intoxicated and euphoric. I loved it. Was it him? Was it being submissive? Was it being submissive to BBC? I willingly swallowed a mouthful. It made me feel intoxicated. Another thick glob of his addictive cum formed at his tip. Fuck, it looked so sexy to me. I drunkenly licked it up and off of him. All I wanted to do was suck and fuck black cock. Taking chances, getting seen, everything took a back seat to the lust and desires of it all.

Being with them both was similar, yet so different. Their vibes were different, the sex was different, while both still being amazing. Sometime, after having anal sex with T, I had sex with E. As thick as a baseball bat, I knew what I was getting into, but could not resist it either. That urge, I found, for beautiful, black cock was profound. I wanted to feel E inside me. I wanted him to cum inside me. Again, was it love? Was it just love of BBC? Encounters with E, I would find later, were very much, "making love." That afternoon, I had made up my mind. At his place, nude and alone, we kissed. I held him, I moaned for him. That amazing, big cock of his was hard in my hands when I asked him to take me. He looked into my eyes. He knew that I was no longer a virgin. He knew that T had fucked me. I layed face down on his bed after handing him a bottle of lube that T had given me. I did not want to risk not having any. E rubbed it all over his cock and along my asshole. My body quivered in anticiaption. Softly, he asked, "Are you sure?"

I turned onto my side. It just seemed so right, it was instinctual. I reached back and took his manhood into my hand. I gave him a soft, reassuring stroke on his lubed shaft, then guided it to my opening. He seemed to hold still, motionless at first. I turned my head to look at him. I wanted that connection, that togetherness, in this most intimate of moments. I leaned back further to meet his lips in a kiss as his cock's tip entered me. A moan and a sigh, his big tongue filled my mouth as I moved back on him. His huge black dick stretched my hole and it was incredible! Pulling away from his lips to catch my breath, all I could mutter was a soft, "Yes." Stretching and filling me, I had his beautiful big, black dick inside me. Pure pleasure, I loved it. As much mental as physical, I loved it. I thought to myself, "Yes, take my ass. I'm yours! I love your cock!" Did I have the courage to admit it to him, though? Without thinking, lost in the moment, other words came out, more truthful than I really wanted to admit.