Update.... I'm still abstinent and proudly waiting intentionally since 8.5.20 since no sex. I also went 5 m.onths with out watching porn or masturbation just to get better with my self discipline. So I'm proud of myself for that....the Journey continues in Loving on Me and waiting to see what God has for me and who my Husband is and will be..

So as I approach My o.n.e y.e.a.r WAITiversary (8.5.21) I have decided to try to go deeper into my connection and commitment to myself and to God, by choosing to now forgo 40 days or No Masturbating. Then Lord willing THEN go another 40 days of No Masturbating and No Porno.... just to truly show my devotion and faith I have in my journey to waiting for my Purpose partner God has for me. I have faith this will all bring me closer not only to myself, God most importantly as well as to whomever my Husband is... I can't wait to share all of my potency with my husband whom I pray will appreciate my dedication to myself, God as well as him with this new found discipline I am doing my best to stay focused & determined on... so my 1st 40 days will still include me watching & enjoying porn then my 2nd go round will not. This is a marathon not a sprint! I'm excited. I'll be back with an update after 8.20.21 & 9.30.21 🤞🏾💪🏾🌻💥‼🥰🙌🏾 here goes my everything!

I have been intentionally #Waiting for about 10 months and 20 days... and surprisingly my "urges/desires" to have sex have subsided. and I've gotten used to not being intimate... what I have come to realize is how important and more intimate physical touch is between people. We literally need to embrace or feel that warm compassion and connection from another human being to function properly I feel. Funniest thing is although I love to hug! I find myself in most scenarios either around folks that I a: Can't hug as it would be unnecessary or inappropriate as I am ALWAYS at work🙄🤦🏾‍♀️ or b: Around friends/family members whom don't make hugging inviting or welcoming enough to do so. So I just don't. Or c: There are people I would like to hug and be hugged by; however I'm almost certain it would give me! & my energy the wrong impression or I would naturally interprete it wrong. So I just don't to avoid me lusting or desiring someone I can't have or I shouldn't have any intimate embraces with, as well as that awkward hug that ends up being one sided/borderline hug and underappreciated. With all of this I've come to appreciate the importance of intimacy and the fact that "sexual intercourse" is not the ONLY way to be intimate. So it's refreshing to know that with my self induced climax retention (similar to when a man practices semen retention) I have found and can focus on the other important parts of my love languages such as quality time 💛🌻 and practice different types of intimacy even/especially with myself. As I am intentionally waiting and choosing to be single and embrace my wholeness. Before connecting with/to my purpose partner I believe God had for me. 🌻🤞🏾🌻💛