About

I am El Fiera de Batata ("The Wild Beast of the Sweet Potato).

It is NOT true that I believe the ghost of my grandmother rides a tricycle through the ionosphere, whistling "Mairzy Doates."

Brian Meacham is made of: partially hydrogenated vegetable oil (one or more of: coconut, cottonseed, and soybean); salt; corn, wheat, and oat flour; sugar; sodium ascorbate and ascorbic acid (vitamin C); blue #1; yellow #6; red #40; niacinamide; zinc oxide; reduced iron; natural orange, lemon, cherry, blueberry, raspberry, lime, and other natural flavors; tumeric color; annatto color; pyridoxine hydrochloride (vitamin B6); riboflavin (vitamin B2); vitamin A palmitate (protected with BHT); thiamin hydrochloride (Vitamin B1); folic acid; and vitamin D. :-p

Exactly half of the following is true, care to guess which?

Caught a car thief, at age 15. Publicly insulted the head of the Russian KGB at a reception in Sweden. Put Rita Hayworth to bed one night when she was drunk, and never tried to cop a feel. Was almost hit by a train while speeding through a railroad crossing in Dave Barry's van, with Chuck Berry lasting at 120 decibels. Had a serious run-in with Frank Sinatra and his bodyguard in a pool room in Beverly Hills. Edited and published the very first collection of stories by B. Traven, the mysterious author of TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE. Once stood off the son of the Detroit Mafia boss with a Remington XP-100 pistol-rifle, while wearing nothing but a bath towel. Is related to the Shadow. Hunted javelina in the Nevada mountains with Philip K. Dick. Was a sharpshooter in the US Army. Broke the back of his drill sergeant while in Ranger basic training at Fort Benning, Georgia. Was in minstrel shows, at age 3. Sang professionally and can be heard in the chorus on the original cast album of the Broadway hit KISMET. Knew L. Ron Hubbard Knew Lotte Lenya. Knew Lenny Bruce and even ghost-wrote for him. Judged a lingerie contest called "The Miss Tush Competition" in company with Chuck Norris. Was run out of Brazil at machinegun point by the ruling military junta. Was a close personal friend of Isaac Asimov. Is a writer whose books have been read and enjoyed and openy praised by Ayn Rand, David Bowie, Buckminster Fuller, Mel Blanc, and Samuel L. Jackson. Was thrown out of Sunday School for Heresy. Types 120 words a minute with no errors and no typos.