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1. The number one rule is that No means No..anytime, every time, all the time. If you are told no, it means No! until and unless you are given specific permission or invitation.

2. Not every couple that walks into a theater is seeking a no holds barred gang bang....I know, its hard to believe but true. Others might be but would like to at least allow their eyes to accustom to the light, orientate themselves to the surroundings and scope out the crowd. It is considered good form to allow them to sit down. If it is their first time, they will appreciate the courtesy. If they are looking to play with others, they will soon enough offer encouragement to those they wish to play with.

3. Its is not a democracy. Not every one is equal. The fantasy is the woman's or couple's to control. They set the rules. You may really really really want to jack off on her tits, but if that is not the couple's fantasy, guess what? You don't get to jack off on her tits.

4. You may be the best looking swinging dick that ever walked in the door and may be blessed with a 9 inch rock hard blue vainer hanging below your rock hard abs, but if the couple's turn on is Ron Jeremy's grandfather, its their choice. If they want black and you are white, sorry, you lose. If they want white and you are black? Another loss for the home team. They point to the guy on your left and then the guy on your right and shake their head “No” at you? Ain't gonna happen for you this time, so suck it up, Buttercup, better luck next time.

5. Learn some basic phrases in common usage. “No”-see rule 1. “She said NO!”-should be the response of any crowd member when rule 1 is ignored by another crowd member. “Back off”-quit crowding them and give them some time to get comfortable. Just the fact that they have not gotten up and left when the swarm surrounds them means they may be in the mood to play, so just back the fuck up and calm the fuck down. “Excuse me.”- usually used by someone who has just been blocked by a newcomer stepping in front of them. The proper response is “Sorry” followed by stepping back to unblock the person who complained.

6. Each theater/video store/whatever has its own ground rules. Learn them. Certain areas where couples may go without singles joining them, other areas where only invited singles may join, generally accepted distances singles may approach without invitations, etc. Learn by watching. Ask questions, Assume that gentlemanly behavior is a good default posture if there is a question about how to act.

7. Competitive Cock Blocking is Not an Olympic sport. If the couple you desire do not desire you in return, do not ruin the evening/night/morning for everyone else. Gracefully accept that its not your night and bow out. Continue to watch if you like, but don't run the couple off especially when it reinforces why they didn't invite you to begin with.

8. You show up and pay your admission and you takes your chances. You take the bad nights with the good. You sit and wait like all the others. Just because you took your last Viagra doesn't mean anyone owes you anything.

9. If you visit a theater with long spells without couple activity, here is a pro tip: Learn to nap with your head forward on your chest, don't nap with your head back and your mouth open. Trust us on this one.

10. Cleanliness is next to Godliness, don't show up smelling of BO and looking like you have been in the same clothes for a week. Take a shower and put on some fresh clothes. This will take you farther than you think

11. Addendum: If a couple gos into a glory hole and does not want you. EXIST FOR THE NEXT GUY! Or if you finish have a little bit of courtesy for the next guy waiting to get in. Think of it as a team effort. We are in this together people lol!