About

I play bluegrass cello. I manage time efficiently.
I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket.
I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic.
On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami.
Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.
I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.
I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes.
I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.
Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear.
I don't perspire.
I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing.
I translate ethnic slurs for refugees.
The laws of physics do not apply to me and I have spoken with Elvis.