About

Troy Yoder: More awesome than a shark high-fiving a bear during an explosion in space.

I am a man, a man that deserves to be taken as seriously as a heart attack piloting a zeppelin over a bacon factory, which is the most serious of heart attacks, because if that zeppelin crashes over that bacon factory, all of us will be without bacon and that simply will not do. Like any other man, I find candle lit dinners on top of dangerous glaciers incredibly relaxing. I also enjoy giving hot oil massages to sophisticated women, while working part time as a lumberjack submarine captain. I graduated from Success College, with a major in one-handed ship building and a minor in philosophy/bazooka shooting. It was the best 2 days of my life.