The Outdoor Blowbang

Prologue: I have a great sense of humour and I’m always a keen observer of life’s amusing details and small quirks. I can honestly say in all of the fantastic experiences and episodes I’ve had (and am sharing in the blogs here), either the experiences and/or the people involved - no matter how hot and sexy – just seem to lend themselves to some quirkiness or comedy. Some more then others. This was one of the quirkier ones.

It was a Sunday morning and I woke into the dull haze of hangover after a night out with friends. I lounged in bed clearing the cobwebs and lazily played with my stiff cock under the sheets (for some reason I’m always extremely horny when I’m hungover…is this a thing for anyone else?). I recalled arriving home alone, crawling into bed naked with a night cap, queueing up some porn to have a bedtime stroke but then fell asleep.
Fortunately, I had no place to be and nothing to do all Sunday except alternating between watching football and porn. I rolled out of bed and wandered to the kitchen still naked with stiff cock bouncing along the way. I made a coffee then made my way to the couch, opened my laptop with the intention of finishing what I had started the night before. It was going to be one of those chill, porn days lounging naked and popping off multiple loads.
Out of habit, I did a quick check of the personals on my favorite swingers forum and right off the top, found a listing from a married couple looking for a nice cock for the wife to perform oral on while hubby watched. I responded to the post without giving it much thought and then queued up some porn and settled in for a leisurely stroke.
It was only a matter of minutes later when my phone rang…I had left my number in the ad response but could they be calling me already?!?

I answer my phone and a woman’s voice on the other end says hello and asks me if I am the one who responded to their ad. I warmly tell her I am and thanks for calling. Her very next response was an amusing and unexpected “how big is your cock”…and before I can start to answer, she continued… “my husband has a big 8 inch cock and it’s fat. I like fat cocks.”. I chuckled…ok then. I stared down at my own hard, dick and said “well, I mean…it’s pretty big…do you want a picture or something…?”. She declined and asked me where I’m at and how quickly I can get to Uxbridge. I tell her I’m in downtown Toronto and I’m more than an hour away. She says if I want a blowjob, I need to leave right away. Well shit. So there’s a long awkward silence as I ponder this…I’m hungover, I’m amazingly comfortable on my couch, naked, contently stroking, and the football game starts in an hour. On the other hand (no pun intended), I would have to quickly get dressed and drive for over an hour to meet complete strangers with no guarantees that it amounts to anything. But…it’s a potential blowjob and I’m a sucker for a blow job (again, no pun intended). So I say “Of course I’ll come meet you…I’ll leave right away”.

Cursing my inability to say no to a BJ, I jump in and out of the shower, into the car and blast towards Uxbridge with blue balls and a throbbing erection.

Right on time an hour and ten minutes later I pulled into the designated meeting spot – a Tim Hortons – and waited in my car. The lot was bustling with people and I scanned everyone wondering who would approach. The description in the add said that she was a “blonde spinner” so I had high hopes. A man approached my car window and asked if I was the one who spoke to his wife. I was taken aback…this dude was the epitome of middle age soccer dad – think dress socks with sandals and thick glasses - not what I had pictured. After a brief, cordial conversation, he tells me that there’s two other guys that would also be joining us, and then gave me a run down of his boundaries and rules.

He explained that she would be giving all 3 of us blowjobs only, that we were to be respectful of her wishes, that under no circumstances were we to touch her pussy, there would be no cumming in her mouth or face, and that he would only be watching.

He then told me that we were going to be playing outside and I was to follow him to a secluded spot a couple minutes away. Outside!? That was a fun, unexpected twist. So off we went…I followed him out of the parking lot with the crotch of my shorts strained hard in anticipation as I drove.

It really was just a couple minutes drive before they turned off into what appeared to be a residential construction site. We drove for another minute and then surprisingly they pulled over and stopped right beside an open field. The field was empty except for knee-high grass and a lone tree about 60 feet from the road and there was a long 2 story berm of dirt in the distance that was the only privacy separating us from a busy line of traffic on the other side of the field. It seemed shockingly risqué.

They got out of the car and I saw her now for the first time…a petite, blonde, middle age mom in glasses and a long flowing floral dress. She stood at the corner of their car staring back in my direction waiting for me to get out. I paused momentarily, conscious of the visible excitement in my pants. I could see the other 2 dudes that had pulled in behind me who were also now exiting their car. One dude was youngish, pudgy, and looked like he was just coming from church in his dress pants and shirt. He struck me as strangely familiar. The other dude couldn’t have been more opposite….older, unshaven, disheveled like he just stumbled out of a seedy bar. They both approached me and the older disheveled dude started immediately blathering loudly about seemingly anything that popped into his head…”long fucking drive…blah blah blah…fucking horny blah blah blah, better be worth it blah blah blah”. As we approached the couple he was still yammering “what the fuck are we doing out here…blah blah blah, look at those tiny little tits blah blah blah. I could tell that he was immediately rubbing everyone the wrong way and was going to be an irritation through this experience. Meanwhile, the youngish dude had not uttered a word…not even a hello. He was stone faced and looked mortified. I was thinking, ‘lighten up and smile guy, you’re about to get yer dick sucked here’.

After some pleasantries and the husband once again reiterated their rules, he turned to wifey and asked her if she was good and ready to do this. She hadn’t said much to this point and just gave a ‘yeah lets go’ and off she started into the field with a blanket under her arm. Us 3 dudes followed them out into the field towards the tree and the older disheveled dude did not stop talking the whole time…just expletive riddled ranting “gonna face fuck her so good…blah blah blah, bet she’ll swallow blah blah blah“. I was trying to block him out and ignore him but it was difficult.

We all reached the base of the tree – which offered no privacy whatsoever – and she stopped and layed out the blanket. I was feeling very awkward and exposed…we were completely visible from the road for anyone driving by and on the other side, you could hear the whiz of cars passing just on the other side of the dirt berm. I was about to suggest we find another spot when hubby reached over and started to pull her dress up over her head. In a split second motion her dress was gone. She wasn’t wearing anything underneath and was suddenly standing in front of us naked.

We were all silent for a moment – even the loud mouth dude stopped taking for a second – she had a tight little frame, small ass, tiny cute tits and was clean shaven. My cock immediately jumped and swelled. We all suddenly forgot about how exposed we were and began scrambling to undo belts and remove pants.
Youngish church dude’s cock snapped out, rock hard and pointed to the sky…it was on the very small side and I imagine wifey wasn’t too pleased considering her previously stated affinity for fat cocks. The old seedy dude’s cock was opposite…it dropped out like a giant soggy noodle and was huge and floppy. He immediately started swinging it and smacking it against his leg and stomach. My own cock popped out rock hard and it felt nice to free it up in the light breeze. We all clamoured to her with hands caressing her tits and ass. She reached down and was alternating between all of our dicks with gentle strokes and then dropped down to her knees on the blanket. Seedy dude immediately started slapping his still floppy dick against her face and then tried stuffing it into her mouth but she pulled back and looked very unimpressed. She took the church guy’s dick into her mouth while jerking me off and then switched, wrapping her soft lips around my cock head and gently slurping.

Hubby just stood watching.

This went on for some time with her mostly alternating back and forth between my cock and the small one. She was consciously avoiding the floppy dick and he was persistent about smacking her in the face with it and occasionally trying to stuff it into her mouth. It was still limp and he was growing visibly annoyed.
After a few minutes, without a sound or warning, church dude started cumming. She looked startled but quickly stroked his cock downwards at her tits to catch a burst of rapid-fire cum. It splashed forcefully down over her chest in a few quick bursts and then as abruptly as it started, he stepped back pulled up his pants, and that was that…he turned and started walking back towards his car without even saying thanks or goodbye. Odd dude. And why the fuck did he look familiar.

Her tits and chest were smeared with jizz now and she turned back to me…she had a very soft delicate style and I was intent on holding back and enjoying it. Loudmouth dude was still yapping and mostly just jerking himself off and occasionally swing his floppy dick at her face. Then he lurched forward, quickly grabbed the back of her head and jammed his limp dick right at her mouth. He was cumming now too so I stepped back as he smeared his limp cummy dick against her face and smacked it against her tits. She immediately began wiping off the jizz while hubby swore and chastised him. I just stood there patiently with my stiff cock twitching in the breeze as this whole awkward scene played out. It was a bit of a buzz kill but at least now I would have her full attention and was excited at the prospect. Old seedy dude got his pants done up and started back towards his car but then turned around and for some reason, directed at me, he yelled ‘I can’t believe I drove all this way for that shit’. What a fucking creep he was.
Now with the two odd balls done and gone, she turned her attention back to my member. She went to work gently caressing my cock with her lips and tongue, but she now had both hands engaged…caressing my balls with one had while she softly pumped the shaft with the other. Her movements were rhythmic and I caressed her blonde hair and moved my hips in time with her soft stroking. Every so often she would run her tongue down the shaft of my cock right to the base of my balls and lick while she tugged my cock with her hands, then she would move back up and engulf my cock over again. I encouraged her by whispering how amazing it felt and this seemed to turn her on because she reached down between her legs and rubbed her pussy, softly moaning while she sucked. Hubby was hovering closely over us now and intently staring as she worked on my dick and her own pussy. He was also now talking to her…giving her directions and asking her how she liked my cock. I could see the outline of his cock now pressing through his pants and he was rubbing it through the material.

Her two sexy little pink pussy lips were swollen and slick as she slid her fingers between them and I imagined how amazing it would feel to slide my big cock between them. This went on for quite some time with her pace ever so slowly quickening and the tension building. My balls were swollen and hard, and I knew with the increasing build up, I was going to have a huge intense release, but I was also intent on holding back and drawing it out…I was on the edge but her soft, delicate style was just enough to stay in control.
Her moans were becoming more urgent. I was more than ready and was waiting for a sign that she was close to cumming so I could let loose and go over the edge at the same time. Finally, she closed her eyes panting and I sensed it was close…I let myself inch to the edge and was about to tell her I was going to cum when hubby asked her if she wanted to cum on my dick. She immediately said that she did…and stopped. Hubby then said to me…”do you want to fuck her?”.

So of course, I’m not going to say no…I said ‘yeah, I’d love to’… but there was a little voice in my head that said damn! Why did you wait so long to ask…I’m just about to cum!

She stood up and told hubby she’d go to the car and get a condom and then a hilariously awkward exchange takes place. Staring at my cock, she tells hubby that she should probably get the XL condoms and what does he think. He eyes me up for a lengthy moment pondering the question and then says maybe but then says no. She starts to disagree, motioning towards my dick saying ‘but look how long it is’…he continues to eye up my dick and ponder this dilemma. It’s amusing to me that they are having this exchange about my dick as if I’m not standing right there attached to it. I quickly interject that either one would be just fine, I’ve used both and which ever one they select would be ok. Content with that answer, she pulled her dress back on over her head and head to the car.

Now I’m standing naked in the middle of a very wide-open field with a hard dick, making small talk with a guy who’s wife I’m apparently about to fuck. Let’s just say it felt like a long, long time before she got back. But when she did get back, she caressed my cock again gently and slid the condom on, telling me to lay down on the blanket. I obliged as she took the dress back off and stood over me rubbing her pussy once again. She lowered herself down, hovering above my dick…I positioned my cock head between her puffy little pussy lips and she began to slide herself down onto my dick inch by inch. After standing naked in the breeze, her pussy felt invitingly warm as she slid it down my shaft. It was slick and tight but she eased herself all the way down without hesitation until my entire length had disappeared inside her.

Hubby was positioned behind her watching intently as she maneuvered herself up and down on my cock, pausing occasionally to grind while I was buried deep inside. I held on for a short while, trying to savor the feeling of her tightness but the build up was already too far along and her pussy was so much more intense than her delicate mouth. I took a firm grip of her hips and signaled to her that I was close…she nodded, placed her hands on my chest and started bouncing quickly on my dick. My balls tightened, my dick throbbed, and that feeling washed over me, outward from the pit of my stomach down through my shaft to the tip of my cock. I could feel each intense spasm as she ground down onto my dick and I shot deep inside her. It was an amazing intense orgasm that was worthy of the build up and when I was done, there was no lingering, she stood up immediately and turned around to hubby who had now finally taken his dick out (it was as advertised), and was stroking it.

He asked me if I wanted to watch him fuck her. To be honest, after such an intense release, I wasn’t overly interested in sticking around and watching but I sensed that he really wanted me to. She laid down, he climbed on and they had a quick go at it, missionary style while I stood by watching. Afterwards, we all walked back to the cars together, exchanged more pleasantries including promises of doing it again some time (we never did), and then parted ways. I did the lengthy drive home thinking how pleased I was with my decision to do the meetup and still got home in time to catch some of the football game.

Fun fact: About a week or so after this experience, I walked into the mailroom of my Condo building and as I rounded the corner, came face to face with the pudgy, small dicked church guy. THAT’S why I recognized him…he lived in the same building as me! I still to this day, marvel at how flukey that is. Of all the thousands upon thousands of people living in the hundreds upon hundreds of buildings in the city, what are the chances. Incidentally, he didn’t utter a word (surprise, surprise), to me as we passed each other but then again, what would I have said…’hey man, remember me from the blowbang last week? Cool.”