The Zen of Ken

My word processor file of quotes and things to remember

Last updated on: April 19, 2020:

Note: This list of quotes (and other assorted wisdom, opinion, and the occasional pun or just-plain-bullshit) is a WORK IN PROGRESS. I am actively editing it, so it may change, from time-to-time, for no apparent reason. I never actually thought I'd be publishing any of this publicly, so it's still pretty rough, and it will take some time to polish away all the rough edges.

Additionally, because Xhamster is overly-protective, their system automatically filters and "nerfs" words like:

c***d = ch!ld
c***dren = ch!ldren
k** = k!d
k**s = k!ds
k**die = k!dd!e
k**napped = k!dnapped
**** = r@pe
th****ist = ther@pist
g****s = gr@pes
g****fruit = gr@pefruit
v******e = vi0lence
I*****l = ill3gal
**** = sc@t
confi****ed = confisc@ted

and so on. You may have to use your imagination, in some spots, with the spelling I use to avoid the censorship, while trying to make things more read-able.

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Life is a grand buffet. You fill your plate with what you like, and I'll do the same with mine. It's called FREEDOM; and I highly approve of it. Even if we end up eating completely different meals, we can both be happy and content with our choices … or, at least, we have no one to blame but ourselves, if we AREN'T happy and content with our choices!

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"My friends know that, to me, happiness is when I am merely miserable and not suicidal." Bob Fosse

“In boxing, it's not how good you are; it's how tough you are.” Daniel E. "Rudy" Ruettiger

"Everyone who had a talent for it lived happily ever after." Baron Munchausen

“The hand that gives is above the hand that takes.” Napoleon Bonaparte

“Youth ages, immaturity is outgrown, ignorance can be educated, and drunkenness sobered, but stupid lasts forever.” Aristophanes


*** Quotes from Ken Zevo ***


I think therefore I am … single.

“If you’re going to question anything about yourself, start with your limits.”

If my absence doesn't affect your life, then my existence in it has no meaning.

"I am constantly amazed that although many (if not most) Americans now have immediate access 24/7/365 to the entire collection of all human knowledge, experience, and wisdom, they generally prefer to use their "smart" phones, computers, and other electronic devices to watch cat videos, to argue with complete strangers about unproven (and often unprovable) opinions, or to tweet about what they are eating for lunch, to ‘friends’ that couldn't care less."

In his copious spare time, God likes to amuse himself by enforcing Murphy’s Law.

When you can’t answer my clear, simple and direct question with a similarly clear, simple and straight answer; then that tells me everything I need to know about you, your position on the topic, your lack of character and morals in general, and your inability to comprehend common logic or common sense.

Reality only cares about the facts, not theatrical displays for virtue-signaling the firmness of your conviction and dedication to your own personal opinions.

It is pointless to apologize to people who do not believe in forgiveness.

“If you want to have a useful and productive conversation, then start with discussing the solutions. If you want to have a useless and pointless conversation, then start with shaming the guilty; so that they have no desire to cooperate in solving the problem, and no reason to help fix anything.”

Without men, human civilization would fail globally about six weeks after all of the “check engine” lights started appearing.

What you see depends on what you are looking for. A broken clock is right twice a day; and those are the times that stupid people pick and choose, to defend the rest of their stupid opinions.

Dead lasts forever, which is a very long time. Be sure to say, “What the hell, I’ll give that a try, just this once”, to as many things as you can, before you go.

In situations like this, my standard answer is: In the short term, “yes, but only if …”; and in the long term, “no, unless of course …”

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing all the time.

“I have watched a great many dire predictions of the world’s end come and go, over the six decades of my lifetime; and yet I am still here, very happily unharmed.”

Yes, every day IS a gift; but, most of the time, it’s only another pair of socks or, at best, a matching tie and handkerchief set.

The world seen through the windshield looks completely different than the one seen through the rear view mirror, and yet looking backward at the past is often a look forward into the future as well.

My family has weaponized victimhood. They would rather curse the darkness all night long, than strike a match and light candle.

"Those who deny reality can not be conquered by trying to reason with them. You should appeal to their emotions, or even their vanity, rather than their intellect."

After considerable years of contemplation upon & about the matter, I have come back over & over again to the relatively simple and straight-forward conclusion that most of the problems in my life have occurred because my head and my heart just don't agree on very much.

A man who can control his emotions, can control the world.

Such an approach would be rational; but, for most people, the rational has no chance against the emotional.

Stupidity is SUPPOSED to be painful. The pain is what makes you stop repeating the same stupid mistakes over & over again.

If you're not pissing off the idiots, then you're probably one of them; and, if you're pissing off the wise, then you've lost all claim to being among them.

There is *always* a better way - there *has* to be a better way. It’s just a matter of finding it!

Stubborn and obsessive adherence to rules, rules, and more rules, is for sheep - the stupid, the meek, the boring, the insecure. Rules are for anyone who feels inadequate in their own abilities, and in need of outside protection from "The Other".

I don't follow rules - I make them.

3 questions you should *always* ask:

1. Compared to *what*?
2. At what cost?
3. What *hard* evidence do you have?

It's only a mistake if you don't, won't, or can't learn something from it.

“It’s a crazy world, and I just live here. I was NOT on the design team.”

“It’s a crazy world, and I just LIVE here. I was NOT on the design team, so you're only embarrassing yourself, by trying to blame ME for this problem.”

Blessed are the flexible; they shall bend, and not break.

“Either the floor in here has had too much to drink, or I have.”

“How many times do I have to keep saying this? The heart and soul of freedom of speech is freedom to offend others. Speech that offends no one, needs no protection.”

“Computers are so expensive for the same reason that little ch!ldren look so darned cute. It keeps us from beating them to death - especially when they’ve been very, very naughty.”

“It’s amazing how often you get invited to the party, when you don’t want to go.”

“One of the unexpected bonuses of my travels around the United States has been staying in cheap motels with walls thin enough to prove – repeatedly – that my sex life is not NEARLY as interesting or exotic as I had thought it was.”

“In my experience, the management and staff of most budget hotels don’t care if you’re making Girl Scout cookies out of actual Girl Scouts, just as long as you are being discreet about it. Their biggest concern, after the police, is that you don’t get any hard-to-clean stains on the bedding, furniture or carpet. As long as they don’t have to deal with cops or removing unsightly stains from fabric, and you pay in advance with a credit card, you are just another brick in the wall to them, no different from all the others around you. After you’ve been checked in and given your room key, you are somebody else’s problem. You exist only in a state of functional invisibility.”

“The two greatest lessons of life are that you can’t avoid making mistakes, but you should avoid repeating them.”
“When you don't ask the right questions, you won't get the right answers.”

“If you can't be yourself, then who will?”

"What if they had a war, and EVERYBODY showed up !??!"

“A sufficiently large mass of cotton candy can stop a bullet.”

“I hope you don't kiss your mother with that mouth, esp. considering how far up your own ass it has been.”

“The best predictor of future performance is past performance.”

“Always remember the Seven P’s: Plenty of Pre-Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance.”

“The problem with developing a conscience is that morality becomes mandatory, instead of optional.”

“Fool me once, and I’m a victim; fool me twice, now I'm an accomplice.”

“Funny how it's always someone else's fault, whenever a bully or a fool is called to account for their words and deeds, ain’t it?”

“The curse of the future is that, in a world without any ugliness, beauty just becomes another dull, boring, and mediocre thing that the mind quickly learns to first ignore, and then actively edit out, in its search for something new and different.”

You cannot tell whether someone is failing or succeeding without knowing what they are trying to do.

Time moves in only one direction. Life goes forward, never backwards. Once you have made your decision, you live with it, and move on. Don’t look back, or second guess, or cry over what might have been – you’ll only drive yourself crazy.

When choosing between the lesser of two evils, pick the one you haven't tried before.

Damned if I do + Damned if I don't = Fuck it, I will!

Life is yours to live ... or miss.

Life is hard, but it's even harder when you're doing and saying stupid things.

If you're going to be stupid, you better be tough.

Have you fed your fetish today?

Minnesota's unofficial motto: "So friendly that we're practically Canadians!"

Minnesota's other unofficial motto: "The Land of the Frozen Dead"

Oklahoma's unofficial motto: "The White Bread State"

Arkansas's unofficial motto: "Whatever you've heard, it's all true. We're just like that."

Louisiana's unofficial motto: "Time to go vote in a new set of crooks, before the old ones rob us blind."

Advice on dating a radical feminist: "Is the pussy is worth losing both your balls AND your soul? Never stick your dick into crazy."

You are the average of the 5 people in your life that you spend the most time around.

The best tool for cutting a Gordian Knot is Occam's Razor.

Many of the worst tragedies that mankind has ever experienced started out with the best of intentions.

I'm hungry. Mind if I take a bite of your soul?

Just how much you can get away with is mostly determined by just how much you can imagine getting away with.

Herpes was the Greek god of fraternity parties, who married Syphilis, the goddess of casual promiscuity. The clapping at their wedding was Olympian in its proportions, leaving most of those in attendance cold & sore afterwards.

"implied facepalm": when the statement that someone has made is so clueless, worthless, and utterly without redeeming value of any kind, that performing an actual physical facepalm isn't even necessary - a simple quiet look of cold contempt & derision is all that's requited.

Yes, you ARE made of stardust; but so is everything else on this planet, including dog turds, toxic waste, and tampons. So calm down, and stop taking these things too literally or too seriously. Whether you can see it or not, the universe is changing & unfolding itself in exactly the way that it is supposed to do - with or without your own personal contribution.

Troubles never singly come - they are gregarious creatures, and prefer to travel in packs.

You know you are on the path to the truth when you start smelling bullshit all around you.

I'll be Frank with you, but only if you promise not to be Kurt with me.

When Godzilla has a case of the red-ass and stomps all over Tokyo, I think it's endearing; but when YOU freak out & lose control, not so much.

My legal rights do NOT end where your personal feelings begin.

It says a lot that liberals, blacks, women, and Muslims generally demand, expect, and require so much tolerance from others - but then give so little of it back in return, esp. when the shoe is on the other foot, and they have the upper hand.

Tolerance is only given by the tolerant. Those who claim that tolerance can be legislated – and should be – are trying to enforce tolerance by being intolerant.

Are you trying to say you're sorry? 'Cause it sounds like the only thing that you're sorry about, is that you got caught.

When you make a limp-wristed, half-assed, milk-toast apology like that, it sounds like you're only apologizing because things have come back to bite you in the ass, and because you're concerned about your career. You haven't really changed the deep-seated anger and hatred that made you do & say the things that got you in trouble in the first place.

Apologies are not actions, they are just words. Words cost nothing and are easy to say. Don’t apologize until you’re doing something to solve the problem and make good again what was broken. A statement of remorse is only as sincere as the changes in behavior that accompany it.

If you can’t even say what you’re apologizing for, you’re not really apologizing. You’re just formally expressing surprise that you got caught.

If you're hoping to find sympathy, then try looking in the dictionary - I am all out. You'd need a divining rod to find so much as a single kind word for you in my whole body, right now.

Most people have ideologies that they would rather defend than test.

When you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.

Hey, it says "gullible", right up there on the ceiling. Go ahead and look for yourself, if you don't believe me!

I have been as wise in making my plans as any man can be, before putting them into action actually happens; blissfully unaware of all the unforeseen future incidents and accidents that were waiting in the wings, eager to rip apart my plans into a million tiny shreds and throw them mercilessly before the wind, one and all.

I think my mother's greatest God-given talent in life is her ability to weaponize passive-aggressive behavior. She holds on to anger and personal resentments - whether real or imagined - with all the pride and single-minded fanatic obsession of a Civil War widow.

The ocean doesn't care how many ch!ldren you have, if you are a good person or bad, rich or poor, old or young, male or female; white, black, yellow, or orange-with-blue-polka-dots. If you swim out too far, you drown, end of story. And THAT is how reality works. Political correctness and identity politics are just imagination and wishful thing, wearing their best Sunday going-to-church clothing.

The thing that makes Minnesotans so wonderfully humble and patient is the winters. Arrogant and impatient people who move to Minnesota usually freeze to death in their first winter storm, while walking to the convenience store because they ran out of cigarettes at 11 p.m.

The problem with "biding your time" is you're still losing time, while you wait - time you will never get back.

Cheaters cheat because they know they can't beat you in a fair fight.

People don't want help to overcome their problems, they want excuses that allow them to continue misbehaving and feeding their addictions.

The fact that my bark is worse than my bite just means that my bark is pretty god-damned awful. Consider yourself warned.

I may be "all bark", but it's an exceptionally loud, extremely obnoxious, and mind-wreckingly unrelenting bark. Before it's over, you'll be wishing that I'd just bitten you instead.

Museums are what makes time travel possible.

"Quickly! Bring water, for the horses! And liquor, for the men!"

Always practice safe sex. Tie your partner to the bed, so s/he doesn’t fall off!

Let me get this straight. The cure for 'racism' against minorities is … to treat them differently than we do white people!??! How does that even make sense?

Hindsight is often the best place to start. Study other people’s mistakes, rather than re-inventing them yourself.

Doin’ is a lot quicker and easier than learnin’. The learnin’ how to do is what slows mankind down, not the doin’ itself.

The information you don’t have can be more important than the information you do, which is why knowing what information you don’t have yet can be more important than understanding the information that you do.

“Part of the journey is the beginning, and part of the journey is the middle, but the end is part of the journey too – and sometimes, if we have a little bit of luck on our side, the end is the *best* part of all.”

The intolerance of those around me has taught me more about the true nature of tolerance, and freedom of speech, than I could ever have hoped to learn on my own from any books.

I’d like to be a better person. I just don’t seem to have much of a talent for it.

Principles are what you do when you know that people are watching you.

A liar needs to have a considerably better memory than an honest man

As far as I can tell, the secret to happiness is to maximize the number of pets in your life, and minimize the number of idiots, whenever possible.

I’ve never met a person with an easy past.

You SAY that you want to hear MY opinion, but you ACT like what you REALLY want is to hear YOUR opinion, coming out of MY mouth.

No, I’m not from another planet … but I *do* cum in pies.

"The Other Side of the Street" is a place where things that must happen, sometimes can’t; and things that can’t happen, sometimes must.

A simple prayer: “God, grant me enough coffee to change the things that I can’t accept, during the week; and enough whiskey and weed to accept the things that I can’t change, on the weekends and holidays.”

If the shit really does hit the fan - with anvils and pianos raining out of the sky at random, dogs and cats openly living together in sin, Godzilla coming out of the ocean and trashing major cities, and basically all the worst parts of the Bible coming true - then it really won't matter WHICH companies you're invested in, because we are ALL going to be fucked as fried chicken.

The test of a man of honor is how he spends time learning from his mistakes, and accepting responsibility for his actions, when the lesser men around him are spending their time looking for someone to blame.

When you position yourself so that you will be the first person out of the exit in an emergency, it’s called prudence, not panic. Everyone behind you are the people panicking.

You don’t have to be able to outrun a bear, in order to survive a bear attack; you just have to be able to outrun the slowest person in your group. So be kind to fat people and encourage them to have a second helping of pie a la mode for dessert. One of those fat bastards may save your life some day!

Quantity is not the same as quality, but sufficient quantity often has a quality that forgives a lot of other failings.

“If you want to know whether you are talking with an educated person or a savage, ask them what they think about the burning of the Great Library of Alexandria. Hint: the more educated the person, the bigger their cringe will be, the moment when you first mention that name."

Is pussylips one word, or should they be spread apart and kept separated?


Ken on : Disability Issues


“What is 'normal'? That's EASY. 'Normal' is what other people are doing, when you are not.”

"People with depression are the werewolves of the psychiatric community. For most of the month, we look and act perfectly normal. We're not."

"It's not like any of my disabilities came with an instruction manual, when I was born. I've been just as confused, by the strange things that I do, as the rest of you are ... and for a LOT longer. What's more, I’ve worked hard my entire life to be respectable - and, yes, failed miserably nearly every time – which just goes to prove my point. Why bother? That juice just ain’t worth all the squeeze I have to put in to get it!"

“Going through a depression is a lot like getting a Tabasco sauce enema. It won't kill you, but you'll spend a LOT of time praying to god that it would - and regretting like hell that it won't.”

Does anyone know where the love of God goes, when depression turns the minutes to hours?

"Feeling better makes me feel worse, and feeling worse makes me feel better. I feel worse, when I feel better, because I know it won't last. I feel better, when I feel worse, because it is familiar ... and I know its measure. I know the length, width, and breadth of my depression, and how long it usually lasts; so I know exactly how far it can take me down, and when it will end. Knowing the limits of your pain is the key to not minding how much it hurts. It is when you don't know how long the feelings will last, or how bad they will get, that depression becomes unbearable - and suicide starts looking like an acceptable option for ending it."

"I shared a room with another patient in a Veteran's Administration hospital, a survivor of the Viet Nam war who only had one leg - his left. Sometimes, late at night, he would wake up and try to scratch the right ankle that he'd left behind in southeast Asia 25 years before. I think my chronic depression is like that. My mind is using the same nerves and pathways, in my brain, that would be used by REAL emotions, so it feels completely REAL to ME. But it's not, any more than the itch that my roommate was trying to scratch. It's just a phantom emotion; it's not really there. It's like turning off the circuit breaker to a part of your house. There's nothing wrong with the lights, the sockets, or the wiring. They all still work fine - they just aren't getting any electricity, so nothing works !?! The same is true with the part of my brain that deals with "happiness". It's not getting any juice; the circuit breaker has been tripped. Negative emotions can get in - THAT part of my brain is still functioning - but the good feelings never make it out of the starting gate. There's nothing I can do - go for a walk, rent a movie, spend time with a friend - that is going to make me feel better. With that part of the brain paralyzed, nothing is going to make my mood better. It's just a physical impossibility, like that part of my brain has been rendered completely numb, the way that the dentist does to your teeth before he drills into them. There's really nothing to be done except be patient, recognize that the black feelings I have are NOT real (any more than my roommate's itchy ankle), and try to sleep through as much of the dark times as possible. When I feel THIS terrible, why be awake for any more of it than I have to be?"

"This isn't living; it's existing. It's what a cabbage does in a garden, what a book does on a library shelf."

"What's the use of life, if you can't live it? I want my life to be something more than just 'long'."

"If I was a book, I would be 'War and Peace'. Everybody knows about me, but no one knows what I'm about. Everyone knows my name, but no one ever bothers to take me down from the shelf and read me, much less comprehend me."

"This isn't a life, it's a wake. I spend my time moping over my own corpse, and waiting for someone to come around to bury it."

With depression, most days the best you can hope for is a soft landing, once the tempest finally turns you loose.

Wounds heal, but scars accumulate.

"If you've seen one person with a mental illness, then you've seen one person with a mental illness."

"The heart of good medical care is for the doctor to do as much nothing as possible - except for the Veteran's Administration hospital system, which takes this idea to it's logical extreme."

"There's nothing wrong with me today that can't be cured by the simple expedient of shooting a short list of people who seem particularly fond of getting on my nerves."

“It seems like I can please the people in the world, or I can please the voices in my head – but not both, not at the same time. Since the people in the world tend to come and go at random and irregular intervals, and the voices in my head are always there & never go away; I generally tend to favor what the voices have to say over the advice of the people around me.”

Can't a man even talk to HIMSELF without getting interrupted !?!

“You know it’s time to start seeing your ther@pist again, when one of the voices in your head screams, ‘I’ll be SO HAPPY when you’re finally DEAD!’ … and it’s screaming at another voice, not YOU.”

“A mask hides the face, but frees the soul.”

“Life is short, but the mistakes last a long time.”

“Life is short, but the mistakes make it seem a lot longer.”

“Tears dry faster in the sun.”

“You don’t miss what you never had.”

“It never ceases to amaze me how often people react by saying, ‘Impossible!’, right after the ‘impossible’ thing has, in fact, just happened right in front of them. I think it’s their way of warning the rest of us that they are too stupid to believe what they've just seen with their own eyes, or too stubborn.”

It is one of those timeless lessons of human nature that, if you lead an elephant down the street, people are going to stare - not because they think you are particularly special or interesting, but because they've never seen an elephant up close before.

I tried counting sheep, to help me fall asleep; but it didn't help, because I kept wondering which ones the shepherd had been having sex with, as they went by.

The world is my playground. Instead of swings and monkey bars, I have people's minds to play with. 

Avoid pissing off the mentally ill. We find that the best revenge on "normies" is to use their brain as our own private playground & amusement park. Regardless of what happens, you are going to get lots of "crazy" splashed all over you - and the experience tends to leave behind some nasty stains on your soul, that are usually permanent.

Best advice?
Just back away, slowly ... and don't make any sudden moves ... until you've reached a safe distance.
And then?
Run, very fast.

Biologically, I am 58 years old; but, internally, I self-identify as a toddler with severe teething pain ... so consider yourself warned!

I used to use dr(u)gs. I still do - frequently! - but I also used to do it, too.

Dance lightly with your demons. When everyone else has forsaken you, they shall remain.

Don’t try to get into my head. There’s hardly enough room in there for *me*, as it is.

Have you ever actually SEEN how many skeletons are in my closet? That was what finally drove me out.

Everything doesn't have to be about temptation, but ... sometimes it's hard to resist.

I want to be good, and I try to be good, but I don’t seem to be any good at it. There comes a point where you just have to admit that no amount of effort can overcome a total and obvious lack of talent.

The low birth rate of porcupines isn't caused by a lack of passion, so much as an over-abundance of caution.

How do you tell if someone is an acquaintance, a friend, or a best friend? Acquaintances WATCH you move, and friends HELP you move. BEST friends help you move bodies.

If I wanted to be sober then I wouldn’t be drunk.

I was trying to make you a rum cake, but now it’s just a regular cake, and I’m far too drunk to get it out of the oven. Please call the fire department soonest.

I can’t remember the last time I had a black out.

It’s not about how far you fall. All the matters, in the end, is how fast you’re going when you finally hit the ground.

A control freak is someone who will burn down the whole world just to rule over the ashes.

I had Satan swallow my soul once, a long time ago, but he couldn’t keep it down for more than a few minutes at a time.

There is a special place in Hell, reserved just for me. It's called a THRONE!

Yes, there *IS* a special place reserved for me in Hell. It's called THE HALL OF FAME!

My family tree is one of the main reasons why so many companies are now legally obligated to print “Do Not Eat” on things like Tide laundry detergent and packets of silica gel.

Fear will keep you alive but panic will kill you.

“I am addicted to ‘more‘. However much ‘more’ there is, I want it all, plus 10% extra.”

“He was addicted to ‘more‘, and finally died of ‘too much’.”

“Yes, I am a psychopath. You could kill my pet dog, right here in front of me, and I wouldn’t react; but please don’t, because Bailey is a good dog and has a gentle soul.”

“Being around me takes its toll. Be sure to have exact change ready, well ahead of time.”

“People with emotional disorders should avoid coffee, whenever possible. We already do more than enough damage when we’re in LOW gear.”


Ken on : Ch!ldren


“Cajuns and two-year-olds bring new meaning to the word ‘omnivorous‘. Size is the only limit to what they‘ll put in their mouths. Anything that can be shoved past their lips is considered ‘potentially edible’, until proven otherwise beyond a reasonable doubt."

“There are two good reasons not to spank your ch!ldren: 1) you may accidentally beat them to a pulp, and 2) you might start to like it.”

“If your k!ds are old enough to talk, you are far better off (on average) bribing them than you are beating them - but they may grow up to become politicians, or worse, lawyers.”

“I don’t care how delicious the gravy looks, NEVER lick a steak knife!”

Do I love ch!ldren?
Yes, indeed!
Boiled, broiled, or fricasseed.

Do I love ch!ldren?
I sure do!
Roasted, toasted, or in a stew.

Take a k!d from every race on Earth, and put them all in a room together. They will play with one another and be happy, until their parents come around and tell them not to.

Coveting and stealing are natural impulses. Respect for property is a learned value that requires prompt teaching from parents, as an infant; and constant societal reinforcement throughout life, as an adult. Moral restraint is not inherent, it is learned. Morality does not form naturally and spontaneously, like rain. Morality must be transplanted from one generation into the next, and constantly maintained and cultivated, like a garden.


Ken on : Religion


Theocracies are inherently unstable among educated people.

So you want to solve this problem by appealing to the authority of your invisible imaginary friend / deity? Why not invite Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the monsters living under your bed to all join in the decision-making process as well?

If one person has an imaginary friend, it is called insanity. If many people share the same imaginary friend, it is called religion; and if they insist that the world’s problems can be solved by their imaginary friend, it is called politics.

Thus is the beauty, and the horror, of religion: a religious argument can make almost any claim, no matter how absurd - and do so totally without proof, data, or evidence to back it up - by appealing to blind faith, "listening to your heart", superstition, supernatural authority, or all of the above.

Man's fear and ignorance of nature gives birth to gods, but only until such time as man's knowledge and understanding of nature frees us from them, and their many harsh, obsessive, and tyranical demands.

The only useful purpose of religion is to explain what science can not, until it can. Once a scientific answer has been found, the religious one becomes unnecessary, having served it‘s purpose as a soothing and comfortable "place-holder" until a better answer came along. When I was a k!d, we used to call hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, and tsunamis "acts of God". Now, with the invention of weather satellites, doppler radar, and the modern theory of plate tectonics, we call these events "acts of nature". And anyone who has ever watched a space shuttle launch knows that, when you ascend up through the clouds, you don't go into Heaven - you go into orbit.

When properly put to good use, religion is all about helping people find some comfort in a generally chaotic and uncertain world, by helping each other to get through the hard times through mutual support. That’s why Marx [Karl Marx, not Groucho] called religion "the opiate of the masses." It doesn’t heal damage, but it does make the excruciating pain and misery of our injuries temporarily easier to bear, until such time as those injuries can heal naturally. Religion, like opium, can be a good thing - but only if it is not relied upon too much, too often, or to excess. The trick is using religion appropriately, and in moderation, without becoming an addict.

The heart of science is hard physical evidence, rigorous testing, and the willingness to admit when you’ve been proven wrong. The heart of religion is wishful thinking, blind faith, and unquestioning obedience to higher authority (whether real, or imagined) no matter how many times that authority has been proven conclusively wrong, chapter & verse. This explains why science is advancing, and religion is in decline.

“Organized religion thrives on a climate of ignorance and indifference, since it’s ultimate goal is maintaining the status quo. This puts it in direct conflict with science, which seeks to expand and improve man’s store of knowledge - and explains why the two have become each other’s greatest mortal enemy.”

“Life’s a bitch, and religion is her pimp.”

“The government that has been given the power to arbitrarily ban someone else's hijab or burqa today is also the government that can arbitrarily ban YOUR Sihk turban, Jewish yarmulke, Mormon sacred undergarments, Devo "power dome", Mohawk hairdo, face glitter, pigtails, nipple rings, gang tattoo, “Don’t Tread on Me” flag, OR ANYTHING ELSE they wish to forbid as “beyond the reasonable”, tomorrow. Never put such power over you into the hands of a POLITICIAN lightly; it will always end in some nasty unforeseen consequences and/or collateral damage, sooner or later.”

Remember: "Religions don't kill people, people kill people." ... unless someone uses a gun, in which case: "People don't kill people, guns kill people." ... unless it's a white police officer shooting a black suspect, then: "Guns don't kill black people, whitey does."

If your god teaches that men are in any way inherently superior to women based solely on their genitalia, that sex outside of marriage will lead to an eternity of damnation and suffering in Hell, that it is legally and morally justifiable to sentence someone to death for adultery or homosexuality here on earth, or your god commands you to automatically treat any other human being with less respect, compassion, fairness and equality than what you yourself automatically deserve as a human being; then your god is pretty messed up - and so are you, for accepting such beliefs without question or debate, and helping to spread them to other people.

What race is Islam, and the Koran? One is an ideology, the other is a book. People have human rights. Theological ideas and religious texts do not. There is nothing inherently racist about criticizing, analyzing, explaining, or critiquing an ideology like Islam, or a book like the Koran.

Islam: ideas so good, they are mandatory - and refusing them is punishable by death.

Islam: Where every day is always 700 A.D.

Science flies people into space; Islam flies people into buildings.

Islam is peaceful, in the same way that death is, and for the same reason.

The Koran doesn't ask, it demands; because the word, "Islam", means "submission" in Arabic.

I ask Muslims: what choice are you leaving the world but to condemn you all as a group, when we cannot properly identify the Islamic terrorists & enemies of freedom who live amongst you, and use you for cover; and you yourselves are so ambivalent about denouncing them openly and publicly, or reporting them to the authorities before they can act?

I am tired of seeing the world being torn apart because of religion. It‘s like watching kindergarten ch!ldren having fist-fights over who has the best imaginary friend!

For me, listening to people of different faiths arguing about their religions sounds no different than listening to 6 year old k!ds out in the schoolyard at recess, arguing over who has the best imaginary friend.

“The best part about being a priest is that you can wear a floor length black dress all day long, and no one would DARE call you "gay", either to your face or behind your back.”

A Bible can be extremely useful for getting rid of those pesky Mormon missionaries and Jehovah's Witnesses. Just stand in your doorway, completely silently. Say nothing. Every time they begin to speak to you, s-l-o-w-l-y begin tearing pages out of the Bible and dropping them on the floor, until they stop speaking. Each time they start speaking again, begin tearing more pages out. They will leave, they will NEVER come back again, and they will tell all their fellow missionaries not to bother going to your house ever again.

"Christian terrorist" is practically an oxymoron, like "Mormon porn star" or "Amish computer salesman". I'm sure some exist, but I think they are exceedingly rare - unlike the Muslim terrorists and mass murderers who seem to pop up in the news weekly, if not daily.

You can lead a Creationist to water, but you can't get him (or her) to walk on it.

Each morning, the sun boasts of its conquest over the night; and each evening, the moon and the stars boast of their conquest of yet another day.

If you think I'm bad NOW, just try to imagine (if you can) what I would be like today *without* Judeo-Christian morality, and the vastly superior math, science, history, language, and other life skills that I received at private Catholic schools (over the public educational system.)

Good writing tells the reader a story; great writing teaches the reader a lesson about life. Good writing is content with mere entertainment; great writing also educates, enlightens, improves, and enriches.

If you examine the 10 Commandments closely, you will find that they only define how you should treat god & other people. Every single one is about the individual's personal responsibility; first to god, and then to other people (parents, neighbors, etc.) Each one starts with an unmistakable "THOU SHALT NOT", and says a big fat ZERO about what the rest of the world owes to YOU, and rightly so! The foundation of the Rule of Law is personal responsibility; without it, Rule of Law doesn't have a leg to stand on. When ordinary average citizens no longer expect personal responsibility from their fellow citizens, then that civilization is in decline and heading towards anarchy.

If you love Jesus so much, the why don't you go *die* like him, so that the rest of us can *finally* have a little peace & quiet. A faint smell of "half-baked martyr" surrounds you, everywhere you go.

Oh Lord, please send me the precious strength that I need, to get through these hard times and oppressions. (If you don't have any strength handy, then feel free to send me beer, pussy, or gold, in its place.)

A man sees what he can, and makes his plans; while the Universe sees all, and quietly laughs at him behind his back.

Did I request thee, maker, to mold me out of clay? Or, as with so many other things in this world you've made, did I have my existence thrust upon me unbidden and involuntarily, out of your own desires and not mine?


Ken on : The Middle East


Wars in the Middle East are funny things. The winner doesn’t get to decide when the war is finally over or when the fighting will end. The loser does. Until he throws down his weapons (however primitive and ineffective) and chooses to quit fighting, the war just drags on and on, year after bloody year.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Just like the Middle East,
This poem doesn't rhyme,
Or make much sense.

It seems like there is always trouble in the Middle East, whenever people start to claim that their mythical "god" has been handing out property deeds to his worshipers, regardless of whether that god is Yahweh or Allah ... even though such a claim would be instantly and vigorously laughed out of any court of law, in any 1st world country around the world today.

If they had shown up in Bethlehem bringing soap, candles, and diapers, and maybe some wine, THEN they would have been acting a lot more like three WISE men. I'm sure Mary could have used all of the above, right about then, a whole lot more than myrrh, frankincense, and gold.

####
 
How do we know that Iran hasn’t finished developing an atom bomb yet?
The fact that Israel hasn’t been hit with one yet!

The simplest and most profound reason that we know that Israel has many nuclear weapons, and that Iran has none (yet), is the continued existence of the nation of Israel. If the situation were reversed, Iran would have used theirs by now. We know this because they are quite open about it. Does anyone reading this honestly think that “DEATH TO ISRAEL” means anything less than what is clearly and precisely stated? And yet Iran says so openly, officially, repeatedly, and with great enthusiasm. It’s practically their national motto - and they shout it with the same passion and pride as Americans have for phrases like “baseball, hotdogs, and apple pie” or “We, the People”.

####

The re-establishment of the nation of Israel in the last century was made necessary for the Jews – and remains necessary for the Jews - because virtually every country on the planet contributed to the Holocaust; either directly (i.e. through the mass genocide of Jews-because-they-are-Jews by Germany and the Soviet Union) or indirectly (i.e. by laws and practices that prevented Jewish refugees from escaping dangerous countries or entering safer ones.) Israel is the only Jewish-majority country on the planet; and all the other countries have proven, historically and without any possible doubt, that anywhere the Jews are a minority, they will be sold out by the ruling majority in times of crisis; often with little hesitation, and far-too-often with considerable enthusiasm and blood shed.

The world has forfeited it’s right to protect the Jews. Now, it is up to the Jews to protect themselves.

It is both logical and necessary that they be allowed do so, preferably in their ancestral homeland, and that they do not rely on anyone else for their safety. There is no replacement for a country of their own, a place where the Jews have self-determination, the right to bear arms, and the right to use those weapons in self-defense, whenever and wherever necessary. The Jews need to be a majority in their own country as that is the ONLY proven way so far, in the entire 4,000 year history of Judaism, for them to have adequate protection from the anti-semitic whims of their fellow non-Jewish citizens, not to mention the vocal and violent Jew-hating Muslim majorities in 100% of the countries surrounding Israel (both today, and historically.)

Moreover, there is no logical, moral or ethical right for the world to insist that the Jews turn the clock back 100 years, to the same situations world-wide in which they were eventually betrayed and massacred wholesale by their own neighbors, politicians, soldiers and other assorted countrymen all across Europe, the Middle East, and northern Africa.

As Einstein once noted, doing the same thing in the same way, and expecting a different outcome, is the very definition of insanity.

####

Judging from the pervasiveness and depth of modern German anti-Semitism, I’d say that the Germans still haven’t forgiven the Jews for the Holocaust - and never will.

The clash over the al-Aqsa mosque is a good summary of the whole Israeli-Palestinian conflict in general: the Jews practice their religion with prayers, and then the Muslims respond by practicing their religion with knives and stones.


Ken on : Science


####

The most important part of the scientific method is the willingness to say these two simple sentences, openly and loudly, whenever they are true:

1. 'I don't know',

and,

2. 'This isn’t working. Let's go back to the drawing board and figure out why.' "

####

“When a law of society conflicts with a law of Nature, nature WILL eventually triumph. It can not be otherwise.”

“The difference between the Laws of Man and the Laws of Nature is that the laws of Nature are self-enforcing. Nature has no policemen, no judges, and certainly no Court of Appeals. She is judge, jury, and executioner - and Her Last Word is always final.”

“Science is a discipline, not a democracy. There was once a consensus by the majority of the scientific community that the Earth was flat - and we all know how THAT turned out. Scientific theory must be based on hard physical evidence and rigorous experimentation, not a simple show of hands.”

Inside of every answer is a whole Pandora's Box of questions, all struggling to get out and seek new answers of their own.

Scientist: A person who not only knows where optimism ends and impossibility begins, but can also quantify that location with an exact numerical value.

“Penicillin is what you get, when you hire assistants that eat moldy oranges, to do the cleaning in your laboratory.”

Carbon dioxide (C02) is plant food. We don't need to do *anything* about it. The plants will take care of the problem, all by themselves - just as they have been doing, off-and-on, for the last billion years or so. Ever hear of the "Carboniferous Period" of geological history, when much-if-not-most of the coal we are burning today was laid down (and sequestered) by lots and lots of plants binge-eating the abundant CO2?

If solar power and wind farms are a good thing, which is economically viable, then why do states like California have to mandate their use by law? Ideas so good that they must be enforced by government are not a blessing, they are a WARNING that you are being told lies - BIG ones.

Mother Nature has a way of correcting the arrogant. It’s called evolution.

No, thank you. I’d rather be a test pilot in the Kerbal Advanced Lithobraking Experimental Program than do that.

The problem with cosmetic surgery is that it only makes a person more attractive on the outside. Changing what that person is inside is a much longer, more expensive, and considerably more unpleasant process – and no one else can do it for you.

I hate Global Warming. It feels like hell froze over, ever since people began complaining about it.


Ken on : Political Correctness and other Modern Political Ignorance


[Ann] Coulter's Law : the longer it takes the media to release the name and identity of the shooter in a public mass-killing spree;

1. the lower the odds are that he will be a white, native, devout Christian male that regularly attends traditional church services, and ...

2. the greater the odds that he will turn out to be a non-white, non-native, devout Muslim male immigrant a/o refugee, who prays 5 times a day, and regularly attends the Friday evening sermons at a local radical Islamic mosque.

####

"Yes, you ARE made of stardust - but then so is everything else on this planet; including turds, toxic waste, tampons, the common cold virus, and the morning cup of coffee that you drank with your breakfast. So calm down, and stop taking such hippie propaganda too literally or too seriously. Whether you can see it or not, the universe is changing & unfolding itself in exactly the way that it is supposed to do - with or without your own special contribution to try to save it from the human race."

The Laws of Nature don’t care about your feelings. Once you grasp this simple concept, you will understand why constantly feeling offended by other people’s facts doesn’t automatically make you right, and why feeling “triggered” doesn’t automatically give you the moral high ground from which to shame others.

"Politically correct" often turns out to be a euphemism for "scientifically illiterate".

In the end, we are inspired by ideas more than the people pushing them. The people are largely interchangeable, the ideas are NOT.

Most of the time, no one knows best – and that’s when the swear words and the fist fights start breaking out. When you mess with the world, the world messes back with you as well – sometimes violently – which is why I have found that, on average, it’s best to not to try to fix people, places, and things that I don’t own and haven’t personally broken.

Many a sincere and genuine desire for good and peace is blighted by the willful ignorance and self-deception of those people who believe that their own self-serving, immature, wishful thinking is superior to the cold, hard, solid facts confronting their plans.

Hope is not a plan, but the lack of one. In the long run, relying on hope is the same as giving up.

I choose common sense over political correctness every time – but only as long as there’s nobody watching.



Ken on : Apology NOT accepted!


The sting of an insult is proportional to its accuracy.

Regret and apologies are not enough. The words are simple, easy to rehearse, and cost nothing. Want to impress me? Tell me what the consequences are, for those that broke the law, and when the guilty will start to suffer them! Don’t apologize for what has already happened and can’t be changed, until you show me how you are going to punish the guilty first. THEN you can impress me with how you are changing the system so the problem won’t ever happen again.

"If words were deeds, that would mean something." Thomas Lifson


Ken on : Politics in General and Political Theory


Reality has a conservative bias; because conservative values are, generally speaking, based on previous experiences of what has worked (and what has failed) in the past. Liberal values tend to be based on what liberals think the world could be (with some changes), rather than how it actually works. Thus, those values have not been similarly tested by fire - which is why they so frequently crash and burn, sooner or later, when put to the test in the real world.

The Rules of Law are NOT like the Rules of Nature. Gravity continues to claim it’s due, without anyone enforcing it, and the sun rises and sets with-or-without the consent of the majority; but, when the Rule of Law is not actively and consistently enforced by some human agency, then it simply ceases to exist. Sometimes it happens sooner, and sometimes later; but growing anarchy has always been the inevitable historical result of such negligence. Disregard for enforcing the Law has always been the food upon which anarchy first feeds, then thrives, and ultimately reproduces, as the Rule of Law gradually gives way to mob rule and the Law of the Jungle.

“We live in a world were the most powerful political force is wishful thinking. Wishful thinking is to politics, what gravity is to physics: an invisible-but-fundamental force of nature, and a prime determiner of future movement.”

“The principle of ‘garbage-in, garbage-out’ applies not only to computers, but also to religion and politics.”

“The greatest flaw with democracy is that the majority is NOT always right. Any form of government that chooses it’s laws by a simple show of hands alone will always suffer from the fatal flaw of ‘garbage in, garbage out‘.”

“Democracy will always be a bastard ch!ld of politics until some mechanism is introduced to check whether a proposed law is scientifically correct - or even physically possible - before voting on it.”

“If you allow people to make any laws that they want, then that‘s generally just what they will do - and often with amazing disregard to the consequences of their actions. One state actually tried to pass a law to change the mathematical value of pi from 3.1415(…and so on) to just a simple 3, so that all those complicated math equations would be easier to solve !??!”

“The approval of the majority can be used to justify almost any immoral, unethical, or down-right scandalous behavior. If you don’t believe me, just look at the laws perpetuating slavery that were passed by the democratically elected majority prior to the American Civil War - or the laws perpetuating segregation that were passed for nearly one hundred years thereafter. The rise (and fall) of the democratically elected government of Nazi Germany is another good example.”

“Mistakes do not ‘just happen‘; somebody causes them - always. If you want to know who, just ask yourself which of the people involved is spending the most time and energy trying to convince you that the mistake ‘just happened‘.”

“Athena offered Paris heroic War Victories, Hera offered him Great Wealth, and Aphrodite offered him the Most Beautiful Woman on Earth. Being a healthy young Trojan lad, Paris promptly accepted Aphrodite's bribe. She got the Golden Apple, and he got screwed - proving yet again that even a Golden Apple can harbor a Golden Worm.”

“The U.S. Army’s ‘Uniform Code of Military Justice’ seems to me to be the ultimate in oxymorons. Any two words chosen will automatically negate one (or both) of the two remaining.”

“Apparently, democracy is like respect - no one gets it for free. It must be earned or else it means nothing, and it will come to nothing.”

If weren't for double standards, some people would have no standards at all.

Nothing urges a politician into action more quickly and strongly than having a problem show up right on the front lawn of his own house, where it can no longer be denied or ignored.

“Affirmative Action: the preferential treatment which is given to hiring under-qualified minorities and women; instead of hiring the best fully-qualified candidates from the entire pool of available job seekers, without resorting to racism or gender inequality.”

"It is telling that we never hear about movements to artificially increase racial diversity and sexual inclusiveness in neurosurgery or structural engineering through affirmative action programs. Who wants an affirmative action hire doing their brain or heart surgery? Or designing the building you work in, not to mention the bridges you cross twice a day while commuting to & from work? Not me! And, if we were being honest here, not YOU either. No one would ... and no one does."

“The media would rather report on Nero fiddling than Rome burning, because telling a compelling and emotional narrative – even when it’s a lie - sells more papers (and more ad spaces) than reporting the facts objectively, honestly, and without bias.”

“In a world were hamburger flippers get paid $15 an hour, the hamburger meals will soon cost $15 as well."

You cannot multiply a country's wealth by dividing it. You cannot legislate "free" money giveaways for the poor without legislation that steals from the wealthy and middle classes, and violates their god-given rights of ownership. What one citizen receives without working for, another citizen must first labor to create - and without receiving any benefit himself, for that creation!

The government cannot give anything to anybody that the government does not first take from someone else. When the poor realize that they do not have to work hard, because the rest of us are going to take care of them (whether they work or not); and when all of the OTHER economic classes get the idea that it does no good for them to work hard, because the fruits of their labor will be selectively taken from them - by force, if necessary - and redistributed to the poor for free ... that, my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

“The Law of Supply and Demand says that as supply goes down, cost goes up. Considering how rare moral and ethical behavior has become amongst American politicians, I am always amazed that those who have any left are still willing to sell it so cheaply."

A soldier is NOT a politician. A politician is someone who decides where, when, and who the soldiers go off to fight, and for how long.

A veteran - on the other hand - is someone who, at some point in his or her life, wrote a blank check made payable to ‘The United States of America’ for the amount of ‘up to and including my life, if necessary’. Such people are deserving of our undiluted and sincere thanks. Otherwise, we are not worthy of their continued protection.

Maybe we'd have less school and theater mass casualty shootings if these places were not deliberately designated as "gun free zones", often with prominent & distinctive signs advertising the fact. I don't see any mass casualty attacks happening at gun shows, veteran's reunions, sporting goods stores, or anywhere near a police station or a firing range, anywhere, ever.

Many businesses will give free coffee / soda / food to cops because the owners know that having armed police drop by at random and unpredictable times greatly decreases robberies, assaults, and other acts of v!olence in general by their customers.

Crayons are sexist, because you can use them to draw naked women.

Q: What is black and white, and destroying America?
A. President Obama!

It is both amazing and disturbing that First Lady Michelle Obama managed to ruin our nation's school lunch program without having either a job title or a job description that actually gave her the authority to do so.

"Just put them on that big pile of paperwork marked 'Obama Legacy', over by the shredder."

The four words that best sum up the recent funeral of former President Bush (41) are “Publicly Politicized Corpse Abuse”.

Without the force of concrete deeds and actions to back them up, words of morality, courage, and determination alone are sterile, and quickly ignored by sadists and tyrants all around the world

The world is still a very mean, nasty, and brutish place, in which dictators and tyrants - such as Hitler, Stalin, and Mao - have been held in check or pushed back primarily through the use of force, or the credible threat of it. "Si vis pacem, para bellum." ("If you want peace, prepare for war.")

Blaming guns for the Orlando nightclub massacre is as fundamentally foolish as blaming box cutters for 9/11, gasoline for traffic accidents, forks for obesity, credit cards for internet fraud, or pencils for misspelled words.

Uneducated people will deliberately disregard expert information that goes against their personal values; and, the more uneducated the people, the more willingly they will reject good, sound, expert advice if it requires them change their values. or to endure personal sacrifices for the common good.

It is remarkable how little black lives actually matter, when they have not been taken by a white police officer.

The huge problem with banning hate speech is that there is no effective way to ban hate speech without banning free speech. Any attack on hate speech is, ipso facto, an attack on free speech as well.

Liberals think different opinions are ok, just as long as those opinions are all different in the same way, and reach the same conclusions.

"fuckless" : when you no longer give a fuck, because you no longer have any fucks left to give, due to all of the other mind-numbing acts of stupidity that have preceded the current one. Example: "There are still 100 more days left, until the 2016 Presidential Election in November, and I've already been rendered fuckless by the constant personal attacks being committed by both sides."

Everyone that I talk to about politics always claims that he or she has “the answer” - and that answer is always different.

No more giving the benefit of the doubt to people who constantly, consistently, and unapologetically offer no sign that they in any way deserve it. It's time to start exploring "The Nuclear Option" instead. Apparently, the only long-term solution for improving the overcrowding at the shallow end of the gene pool is to add more chlorine. It's not that the people in the shallow end CAN'T learn to swim, so much as they stubbornly REFUSE to learn any such skills until they start to actively drown ... and, by then, it's too late.

The Dems are imploding. Please do not stand in their way. In fact, we should help them along on their journey of self-discovery. A weekend in jail, a hefty fine, and a few weeks of community service would all do wonders towards reminding these adult babies that their actions have consequences, the next time their peers, politicians, and favorite Hollywood actors / recording artists tempt them with calls to commit vi0lence. They need to be taught that "[fill in the blank] told me to do it" is not a legitimate legal, moral, or ethical defense. Since that lesson didn't happen in either their upbringing or their public schooling (including, sad to say, their college education), now it is time for them to learn it the hard way - first in court, then in jail; plus a few weekends of useful community service, to ensure that the lesson is neither quickly nor easily forgotten.

The truth of this matter is obviously not in your favor; if it were, you’d use be using facts and figures to prove your point, instead of all those ad hominem character assassination attempts, and other blatant appeals to your audience's rawest base emotions.

It's not a cartoon, if crying is more appropriate than laughing.

In an honor and shame-based society, when there is no publicity there is no shame. You worry more about what people *see* you doing, and what they *think* about it, then about what you've *actually* done. "Out of sight, out of mind."

Even leaders must be driven, or their followers won't follow. The spontaneous urge to change and control, coming from within oneself, is what makes a leader lead. The lack of it is why followers only follow.

"He who serves best, is he who interferes least; someone who serves more for the benefit of others, than the slaking of his/her own desires for power and control."

I am not a fan of lawsuits. I hate hearing people whine, especially for profit.

When a law ceases to be enforced, then that crime has become the new law.

Do you know why the masses are calling this issue "climate change" now, instead of “global warming”?  Because each time that their latest fad theory and/or cure is disproven by yet another set of undeniable facts and raw data (that refuse to behave as claimed), the “global socialist scientists” are forced to rename their cult and retool its message, into an even more bizarre, complicated, and incomprehensible lie.

The inevitable result of liberal utopianism has always been the same ending: tyranny and social unrest, then civil disorder & anarchy. The liberal utopia that exists at the end of the Social Justice Warrior’s social / cultural / economic rainbow demands an enforcer. Without a person or persons to oversee such a perfect egalitarian place, the natural instincts and passions of human nature will surface and wreak havoc on public order. Only through forcible submission can the natural distinctions between individuals, and competition amongst them, be held in check. For those who know their history - from the French Jacobins, through Lenin & Stalin in Russia, Chairman Mao Zedong in China, and Pol Pot's killing fields - the utopian quest for a heaven on earth, a place of perfect equality for all citizens, has always ended up in creating murderous dictatorships that then begin to kill their OWN citizens (including the movement's creators) on an industrial scale.

There is no such thing as FREE healthcare or college. In fact, these things are quite expensive. Giving the government an open check book has done nothing to stop prices from spiraling higher and higher, out of control. If someone else is paying for your college and health care, there is no incentive for *YOU* to worry about costs, much less shopping for bargains or getting good value for the money being spent. Think about it. Which bicycle does a ch!ld value and protect more? The one he buys with his own hard-earned money, or the one he gets for free at Christmas?

####

To all the people who are of the opinion that is it a GOOD thing to let undocumented and non-sponsored immigrants move into the U.S.A, whenever and wherever they want:

There is nothing that is stopping YOU from adopting an immigrant. Sponsor an immigrant! That way, they are coming to America legally. Why can't YOU people, who are for letting anyone into the country, lead by example? Put your money, your time, and your energy where your mouth is - NOT government money, and NOT government time, YOURS. Get your hand OUT of other taxpayers’ pockets! Invest in your own beliefs, yourselves, and do it legally.

####

No matter what the government decrees: the real minimum wage is always zero, men and women are always biologically different, abortion is always about killing, there is no nation in the history of all mankind that was better off after 25 years of socialism, and “there is no free lunch” – anything you receive from the government for “FREE” is actually paid for by taxes, which sooner-or-later come out of your paycheck.

The difference between ch!ldren and politicians is that k!ds are cute and will eventually grow up.

The problem with fighting fire with fire is that you usually end up with an even BIGGER fire, which is still out of control.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department shows up with water, hoses, and fire extinguishers - not gasoline, matches, and flamethrowers!

Sarcasm isn’t just the best defense against a spectacularly stupid idea that’s gaining traction amongst the common man & various other hoi-polloi. Sarcasm is the ONLY weapon left, by that point.

The young man learns the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions.

Why get the government involved? I am perfectly capable of pissing away my own money on stupid and wasteful nonsense. Why would I pay them to do it for me !?!

Many female abortion activists today are saying “no uterus, no opinion” - unless the man is advocating unrestricted abortion-on-demand. Then, they are silent.

I recently discovered that I can save a small fortune on Christmas presents, simply by discussing politics and religion whenever possible at Thanksgiving.

I’d rather be an American than a Democrat or a Republican.

Combat forms between men the kinds of bonds that ch!ldbirth forms between women.

I believe it is best to hate ideas and not the people that think them. An idea is a fixed thing; but people can, and do, change their minds about ideas every day. When a person has a bad idea – or even a good one – and refuses to look at any scientifically-proven data or facts that refute it, THEN it is time to hate the person as well as the idea. You can change the mind of someone that is open to other possibilities. Someone who mindlessly insists his ideas are better than yours, though, and refuses to put those ideas to the scientific method of rigorous testing; that person is a lost cause. Better to just walk away than to try to convince a Flat-Earther that the Earth isn’t flat, that it just looks that way from his point of view. His point of view is all he cares about. He is invested in continuing the argument ad infinitum, and to wearing down the opposition with stubbornness. He cares nothing for finding the truth. The truth is his enemy, not his friend.

Here is an idea for all those American blacks that insist they deserve reparation money from the U.S. government for slavery. You want to turn the clock back? Well then, let’s turn it ALL the way back. The U.S. government and taxpayers will give you a generous lump sum reparation payment; but only on the condition that you are 100% black (no white or other light-skinned "oppressor" races mixed in), you renounce your American citizenship, and then return to the African country of your ancestral origin and become a permanent citizen there. Then, and ONLY then, you will be eligible for a "reparation payment".

Nobody has the right to destroy history or truth. Both acts are crimes against all of humanity - the dead, the living, and those yet to be born - and should be treated as such. Without knowing how and why past mistakes were made, mankind is doomed to repeat them over and over, until such time as an accurate record is made and preserved, to serve as a warning to future generations.

If you give me a long and complicated question, expect a long and complicated answer in return. I can give you a straight answer, instead, but only if you can reduce your question down to 50 commonly used words of three syllables or less.

No matter how sincere, well-intentioned, or intensely the government feels about it, they can NOT pass a law forcing me to dress myself only in blue clothing, nor to dye my hair red, nor to sell my property (car, home, gun, etc.) against my will at a set price. There are limits. Getting elected to Congress is NOT a permit to violate my individual rights to personal integrity, ownership of private property, or my freedom of expression. They don’t get to just pass any law they want, nor to break the social contract between those who are elected and those who elected them, whenever it is convenient or expedient to do so, IN THEIR OPINION.
Politicians are servants, not rulers; and, if we do not remind them of this basic fact of politics, from time-to-time, they WILL abuse their power - because no one is doing anything to stop them. This is basic human nature. We, as a species, constantly test our boundaries until we find where the borders are. It is up to We, the People, to remind our politicians of their limits in governing; through protest, when possible, through elections, if necessary, and through civil disobedience, when all other means of communication have failed.

The difference between a tragedy and a crime is intent.

Money is not the root of all evil, because money is not corruptible. People are.

Your misplaced faith in your government's ability to fix anything is touching, but allow me to educate you on the subject. Governments tax your income and property, and then use that money to hire contractors. I’ve seen many government employees show up after a disaster with clip boards and pens. I’ve never seen one yet show up with a hammer and nails.

Communist Chinese Chairman Mao Zedong famously labeled America “a paper tiger” but it was Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev that famously added, "the paper tiger has nuclear teeth."

Sooner or later, you’re going to HAVE to talk to your enemies - they certainly aren’t going to change their minds WITHOUT your input! When that day comes, you’re going to need a good solid evidence-based and fact-filled argument for why you are right and they are wrong, or the talk isn’t going to last very long. And remember: SOMEONE always has to be making a conscious decision to remain an adult throughout the conversation, or else there won’t be one. It will just be two babies, screaming and crying, and throwing their toys at each other.


Ken on : The First Amendment (and Freedom of Speech generally)


"In order to be free, men must have the right to think as they please, to express their opinions openly, and to agree (or disagree) with the opinions of others in the same manor. Freedom of thought and speech is the anchor that holds all other freedoms in place. Without it, no other freedom will long endure."

“Freedom of speech means that the stupid, ignorant, and obnoxious get to have their say as well. Fortunately, it does NOT mean that we have to agree with them, or give equal time and weight to their opinions. It certainly does not require us to stick around, and listen to what they have to say - we can always vote with our feet, any time we feel fanciful. Freedom of Speech means simply that we are obligated by law to allow such people the freedom to speak their minds in public spaces, without fear of being punished or persecuted by the government for it - nothing more, nothing less.”

“Yes, free speech IS protected under the First Amendment, but lying is NOT!”

“Convict a man with evidence, not accusations. Otherwise, the only thing you‘ll prove is that you are a character assassin.”

“Question all authority, even your own. Authority is but a hollow shell, a balloon which lives its life in constant fear of the smallest pin-prick, whether real or imagined.”

How many times do I have to keep saying this? The heart and soul of freedom of speech is the freedom to speak your ideas publicly and plainly, even though some people listening feel offended by them. Speech that offends no one, needs no protection!
And, furthermore, reality doesn't care about anyone's hurt feelings! Like women and cats, reality does as it pleases, when it pleases. Pointing out reality is not a crime, no matter how many people that offends. It is a service to mankind - often done under extremely trying circumstances and, sometimes, at great personal risk to body and reputation. Therefore, it is essential that freedom of speech be given the fullest possible protection available under the Law, even if some people don’t like it.

“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. I, on the other hand, am amazingly loud and obnoxious about mine.”

"Anyone who thinks that they are too tiny and insignificant to make an impact on the world has never spent the night with a mosquito in their tent."

An insult usually tells you far more about the lack of maturity and personal integrity in the person saying the insult, than about the person for whom it is intended.


Ken on : Gun Control


Any gun battle between an armed law-abiding citizen and an armed criminal should be as short, one-sided and unfair as possible. Is there any SANE person amongst us that WANTS the criminal to win !??!

If guns are what kill people, why are there never any mass shootings at gun shows, sporting goods stores or police stations?

When progressives and Leftists today say “sensible gun control laws”, what they really mean is laws that will *force* you to sell *ALL* of your guns to the government, sooner or later, at a price that *they* choose, because otherwise they will put you in prison and just take them anyway. The radical Left won’t be satisfied with “controlling” your guns until they have ultimately confisc@ted and destroyed them all.

When only the police have guns, it is called a POLICE STATE.

The first thing a dictator does, after consolidating all political power to himself, is to outlaw free speech and private ownership of guns for the common citizen.

Always remember that in an emergency, when every second counts, your local police officers are only minutes away … once you've found a phone, and dialed 911, of course!

I have a fire extinguisher and a smoke detector in every room of my house. It doesn't mean that I am expecting a fire, or desire one.

Gun control? A gun is an inanimate hunk of metal, totally incapable of harming anyone or anything by itself. If guns alone could kill people, then the sporting goods section of every Wal-Mart from coast to coast would be littered with corpses right now. We don’t need gun control, we need HUMAN control - which is to say, we need SELF control - and we absolutely MUST DEMAND that very same self-control from all the humans around us.

"Mutually-Assured Destruction" is the only form of gun control that has any proven track record of success. If a mass murderer has to worry about every adult in the room opening up on him / her, s/he will leave the guns at home, and find some other way of dealing with problems and frustration. Like taking up boxing … or paintball … or getting back into therapy.

####

You've heard this all your life:

"All we have to do is get rid of all the guns, and we’ll be safe."
Until the next crime is committed with a knife.
"All we have to do is get rid of all of the guns and knives, and then we’ll be safe."
Until the next crime is committed with a straight razor.
"All we have to do is get rid of all of the guns, and knives, and straight razors, and then we’ll be safe."
So, the next crime is committed with a broken bottle.
"All we have to do is get rid of all the guns, knives, straight razors, and glass bottles, and then we’ll be safe."

And, before you know it, they are back for more.

All we have to do is get rid of all the guns, knives, straight razors, glass bottles, and plastic bottles, and then we’ll be safe.

All we have to do is get rid of all the guns, knives, straight razors, glass bottles, plastic bottles, and internal combustion engines, and then we’ll be safe.

All we have to do is get rid of all the guns, knives, straight razors, glass bottles, plastic bottles, internal combustion engines, and fossil fuels, then we’ll be safe.

All we have to do is get rid of all the guns, knives, straight razors, glass bottles, plastic bottles, internal combustion engines, fossil fuels, red meat, national borders, capitalism ... and those troublesome parts of the Constitution that deal with things like freedom of speech, the right to due process under the Law, the right to equal treatment under the Law, and (of course!) private ownership of weapons ... and then we’ll ALL be safe forever.

So, where does it end?

It’s like wiping your ass with a bicycle inner tube! There ain’t no end to it. These people will NEVER be satisfied!

####


If the Democrats are correct, and the world is going to end in 12 years due to climate change, why do they want to take my firearms away? Seems to me that, as we get closer and closer to their predictions, I’m going to need those firearms more and more, not less and less!

If lawmakers can admit that they can’t stop mass murders just by passing laws that making mass murder ill3gal, then when will they admit that they can’t stop mass murders just by passing laws that make guns ill3gal? When are they going to realize that criminals - BY DEFINITION – are people who don’t obey the law? Never have, never will.

"From each according to his ability, to each according to his need" is a lie and a formula for disaster. It does not promote and encourage compassion, or any other virtue. Quite the opposite! It enforces and compels slavery, putting the full support and approval of the government behind this thinly-veiled version of modern involuntary servitude.
Under communism / socialism, the most able worker is enslaved to the least unable, without any choice nor compensation. No free person will tolerate such abuse for long, nor should anyone be expected to tolerate it. Charity which is compelled and extorted under threat of punishment ceases to be a charitable act, much less a virtuous one. Communism / socialism is state-organized, state-run and state-compelled theft on a national scale; no more and no less.
The fact that *some* of the money *may* be going to *someone* who is needy does not change one iota of the immoral and unethical nature of this crime. A police man is not allowed to stop you on the street, make you open your wallet, and give some of your money to the homeless people begging on the corner – nor would you comply, if one instructed you to do so. Why do you let the government do this to you through your taxes? Why is the tax man and his pen mightier than the policeman and his gun, in your mind?


Ken on : Women and why I never married


I never married because …

I never met a woman who made my cock harder than my life.
I never met a woman who could magically turn into a six-pack of beer and a pizza, after I’ve fucked her.
I like my balls and I plan to keep them.
I never met a woman that I hated so much that I wanted to inflict myself upon her for an entire lifetime.
50% of marriages end in divorce within 5 years, and a divorce costs ten times more than a wedding.
I think, therefore I am single.


Ken on : All the Colors of the Rainbow


I prefer to deal with people as individuals, regardless of their color. Good people come in all colors, and so do bad.

Trying hard not to be racist is a form of racism. Your mind is actively focused on the race of the person (or people) that you are dealing with, while sorting through your library of stereotypes to try to figure out what subjects to avoid with this person, so as not to offend them. The harder you try NOT to be a racist, the more focused you become on that person’s race; as well as trying to deal with the person differently than others, specifically because of that person’s race (and, possibly, your own.)

Excluding someone based solely and completely on DNA is evil & wrong. Justifying Black-only, Hispanic-only, or Women-only self-segregated areas, on the grounds that these places are "safe spaces", is an abominable & inexcusable act of thinly-veiled racial / gender prejudice, self-delusion, and denial of reality. If you truly believe that just because ANY generic white or male person is in your presence, you are somehow no longer safe; then that belief alone is inescapable evidence proving what you really believe is that white and/or male DNA is inherently dangerous - and must be segregated out of our society for the safety and good of all. You are engaging in evil, and should stop immediately. Go spend some time re-thinking your beliefs and assumptions about men and/or whites.

Our differences in skin color *should* be as unimportant and trivial as the differences in the color of hair, or the color of the car that we drive, the house that we live in, or the color of our shoes - but that ain't the way it works in real life.

“White privilege”, “white patriarchy”, and “white prejudice” are so low these days as to be nearly non-existent. When was the last time that you heard a white man whistle at a pretty black or Latino woman passing by? Has it been years, or decades? Meanwhile, minority prejudice against whites is still alive and well. "Walking around in a black / Hispanic neighborhood while wealthy and white" is as likely to result in serious injury or death as "driving a vehicle in a white neighborhood while poor and black", and arguably more so. If you don’t agree, feel free to conduct some personal research on the subject.

If skin color doesn’t matter, and all colors are equal, then diversity doesn’t matter either. You can not have it both ways. So which is it, Captain Obvious?

Too bad the urban black (i.e. "ghetto") community gives more attention, admiration, praise, and congratulations to those blacks that break the law and get away with it, then they do to those who stay in school, get an education, and graduate from college. Maybe if they did not ridicule and shame those fellow blacks who do well in school, as being "Oreos" (i.e. black and hard on the outside, but white and soft on the inside); then more blacks would get a decent education, rise to the level of their talents, and be able to function as normal adults in the mixed-ethnic and mixed-racial American society outside of their ghettos ... like the rest of the racial and ethnic groups in America do ... instead of being self-limited into only fitting in comfortably within their own neighborhood and/or culture, because of the opinions and social pressures of their own black peers.

####

Fill an island with whites, and you get England, Australia, New Zealand, or Iceland.
Fill an island with Asians, and you get Japan, Taiwan, Hong Kong, or Hawaii.
Fill an island with blacks, and you get Madagascar or Haiti.
Fill an island with Hispanics, and you get Cuba or Puerto Rico.

Fill a continent with whites, and you get Europe.
Fill a continent with Asians, and you get Asia. (Duh!)
Fill a continent with blacks, and you get Africa.
Fill a continent with Hispanics, and you get South or Central America.

Fill a continent with a little bit of every race; then give them all freedom of speech, freedom of religion, the rule of law, and equality under the law; and you get North America.

####

If there were no white people, the other races of the world would all be starving in the cold and dark, while they watched their ch!ldren die of measles, smallpox, polio, cholera, typhoid fever, Ebola, and AIDS - if they weren't already blinded by syphilis contracted at birth. Can we whites take back our contributions to the development and global distribution of electric, nuclear, solar and wind power; antibiotics, anesthesia, ch!ldhood vaccinations, aspirin, and synthetic opiate painkillers; cars, trains, planes, and ocean-crossing bulk cargo ships; scotch, bourbon, vodka, and most varieties of fine wine; not to mention central heating, computers, running water and aqueducts, sanitary sewer systems, and so many other miracles of the modern scientific and industrial revolutions? It's all "cultural appropriation" by the rest of you "minorities" - all around the globe! Leave our stuff alone, and we'll agree to skip the chopsticks, egg rolls, burritos, silk, sushi, Pokémon, and poi.

I'll agree to check my white privilege when you agree to stop flaunting your race card.


Ken on : The Truth …


… has only one version, which is rigid and unchanging. Lies come in every flavor and any color that the human mind can imagine. Lies are almost infinitely flexible and malleable, changing to fit the needs of the moment and the situation of the liar, whenever and wherever necessary.

… is the thing that, no matter how many times you THINK you’ve killed it, it just keeps coming back to haunt you, over and over again.

If something is being protected because it can be damaged or destroyed by the truth, then that thing not only deserves to be damaged or destroyed by the truth, its very existence demands it.

Sooner or later, the truth always comes out; and its usually a whole lot better for all concerned, if the truth comes out sooner rather than later!

Never trust a sentence with the word “but” in it! The parts before the word “but” are all lies (or, at best, half-truths) and the parts after it are what the person really believes.

Facts don't care about your feelings, and they never will.


Ken on : Tolerance & Intolerance


Life is a buffet; you fill your plate with what you like, and I'll do the same with mine; and so, even if we end up eating completely different meals, we can both be happy and content with our choices … or, at least, we have no one to blame but ourselves, if we AREN'T happy and content with our choices. It's called FREEDOM, and I highly approve of it.


Ken on : Other Miscellaneous Stuff


“If you can depend on it, then it’s not luck - because you can depend on it. Real luck happens when you shouldn’t have been able to, but you did. If you can depend on an outcome happening, then there’s a system involved, not luck. The bullets in the movie don’t hit the hero because it IS a movie, there IS a system, not because the hero is lucky, good, or right.”

“It sure is a wasteful society we live in, when people start throwing away perfectly good money!” (said LOUDLY while bending over & picking up a penny found laying on the ground)

“The Speverend Rooner would be grinning in his spave, if he heard THAT one!” (Hint - it’s a Spoonerism)

“To all those who accuse me of being a vast suppository of useless information, I can only reply, ‘Guilty as charged! I am a real pain in the ass.’ ”

I'm not an asshole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate assholes.

I'm not an asshole. I am a medicinal suppository. I make assholes feel uncomfortable, but it's for their own good.

“I feel like a pitbull humping the leg of propriety.” (or, sometimes, “society”)

“Whether a glass is half-empty or half-full depends a great deal on whether the liquid in the glass is beer or urine.”

“Respect for the dead is really all about respect for those still living. A corpse is WAY beyond noticing such politeness, much less caring.”

“I wonder where angels go when they die?”

“If someone claims to be a serious Born-Again Christian, slap them on the face - HARD. If they turn the other cheek, slap it harder. See if they really mean what they say, or are just parroting the words to feel superior to everybody else.”

“If you give a gift with conditions or expectations attached, then it’s not a gift - it’s a bribe.”

“Jealousy doesn’t show how much you love someone. It shows how little you love them, and how much you only care about your own feelings, desires, and needs.”

“After you finish checking your dog for ticks, you should probably have someone else check YOU as well.”

“You wouldn’t happen to notice my dignity laying around here, somewhere?”

“My strength is as the strength of ten men, because … [dramatic pause] … I cheat!”

“Enjoy life, while you have it. There are no roses that grow fairer with time.”

“Enjoy your youth while you still have some. You have the rest of your life to be old.”

“The difference between a winner and a loser is that the winner has found ways to re-direct pain into strength and determination, thereby making it into his ally and inspiration.”

“Sacrifice and sorrow are a part of the price we pay for love, and mourning is the final payment, due in full whenever a loving relationship ends.”

“Any group of more than 3 people trying to make a decision together virtually guarantees an argument.”

“Respect is never given for free, it must be earned.”

“There are three things in this world you should never refuse, if they are offered to you for free : sex, money, and dr(u)gs.”

“When God wants my attention, he knows exactly what to bait the trap with - sex, money, or dr(u)gs.”

“If you have to insult someone to get your point across, then you haven’t gotten your point across - and never will.”

"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, four;
Five tequila, six tequila, seven tequila … ambulance."

"That was back in the days of the dinosaurs, when strange and wonderful creatures like Ken Zevo, and the Thesaurus, roamed the earth."

Respect is a strange, tricky, slippery thing. It is earned, not given. It is commanded, not demanded. And the only kind that counts or lasts, or lets you sleep at night, is self-respect.

The measure of the immorality of slavery is the lengths that the masters have to go, to keep the slaves in submission; and the lengths that a free man will go, to regain his freedom, when someone takes it from him by force.

Even when a man isn't thinking with his penis, you can be sure he is still acting on behalf of its best interests, and with its future needs in mind.

"Solum cupio omnia est." / "The only thing that I want is everything."

When it comes to gluttony, hedonism, and excess; all I ask is more & more, never less & less.

Stupid breeds stupid - and there is no cure.

I came into this world naked, screaming at the top of my lungs, and covered in someone else's blood. I only hope that, when the time comes, I'll be leaving it in the exact same way.

Don't torture yourself over this - that's MY job!

Don't be so hard on yourself - esp. when there are so many OTHER people that are willing to do that for you, and for free.

Women may be "the weaker sex", but they can force an object the size of a gr@efruit to pass through an opening the diameter of an olive, using just their pelvis - and each one owns a kitchen full of knives that she has been trained to use quickly, efficiently, and gracefully, from early ch!ldhood.

We don't ALL have the luxury of being moral. Some of us have families to feed.

Never waste a hard-on, or trust a fart.

If you do it right, then you won't have to do it again.

It is a LOT easier to convince most people to regress than progress.

One individual, using poor judgement, does not justify me in using equally poor judgement in response, nor excuse me for having done so.

Life usually proves disappointing, if not much worse.

When I was growing up, I dreamed of conquering the world. It wasn't until much later that I discovered the world has me out-gunned, out-numbered, and surrounded on all sides.

Someone recently accused me of cheating - rather rudely, might I add. My reply? "Everyone cheats. You lost because I do it better than you, so I still win."

Operation "This Will Undoubtably End in a Huge Disaster for ALL OF US" is a 'go', sir!

What I want the epitath on my grave to read: "If you say the word 'gullible' slowly and carefully, it sounds just like the word 'orange'. Seriously. Just try it and see!"

In a world committed to brutal honesty, my mother's epitath would be "Semper tu erras". ["You are always wrong."]


***

When other races and genders are too stupid, lazy, or just-plain-ignorant to succeed at the level of white males, they will far-too-often invent ever more bizarre pseudo-intellectualisms to excuse themselves, and to blame those failures on "white/male privilege".

Like our now-former President, "The Gibbering Teleprompter Addict & Ventriloquist's Dummy, formerly known as Barry Soetoro", modern-day blacks and "wymmyn" are 100% legally given a leg up on anything and everything, at the expense of better-qualified whites / males / white males, in overt acts of anti-white racism and anti-male sexism, that are then thinly disguised and casually explained away as "reparations" for conditions that happened 50, 100, 200, or more years in the past, which have long since ended - and been made ill3gal for well over a generation now, if not far, far longer!

One standard - a high one - is the answer.

If you don’t study because you’d rather spend your time getting high with your "Ghetto Bros", and blaming "Whitey" or "The Man" for all your problems; and if you then fail your tests, and eventually your classes as well, because you valued getting high and chasing skirt over good grades; or if you go partying with your BFF's at an "after hours" club, and wake up too hungover to actually get up, clean yourself off, change clothes, and get yourself to work; then you don't deserve a freebie over the "White Boys" that did study, did their homework, passed their tests and classes, AND do show up for work each day clean, sober, & ready to give a fair day's work for a fair day's wage.

I don't care what color you are, or what set of genitals occupy the space between your thighs - if you want admittance to a prestigious world-class university or a famous Ivy League college, you either need to study hard or be born with brains - just like everyone else. No? Tough break, then, but I have exactly ZERO sympathy for you. You want what I earned, but you don't want to WORK for it like I did - which is about as morally and ethically bankrupt as a human being can get. Taking things that you haven't earned is called "stealing". The legal term is "theft". Look it up in the dictionary - or just Google it.

If you are a woman, and you want a good job, equal pay, and for-merit promotions; then stop asking for 3 paid months off from work each time you CHOOSE to spawn another baby, and stop leaving work at 3 PM claiming that you put in a full 6-hour day, and therefore have a God-given right to pick up your k!ds from school in person.

If you can't - or won't - accept the reality that some people are smarter than others; and, that women CHOOSE to give birth in spite of the burdens that choice will put on their ability to work outside the home; then you're a fool, not a victim. Arrange for ch!ld care, and recognize what companies need their employees to do, in order for that company to remain profitable, keep its doors open, and stay out of the red ink. Stop pretending you're some genius being held back by "whitey" when, at best, you are a semi-literate, lazy, used car salesmen trying to convince others that you can do a nuclear engineer's job. You'll find it easier to pee on my shoes and convince me that it's raining.

Oh, now I'm a racist / sexist / whatever-o-phobe? No. I'm a realist. I resent being openly and legally discriminated against for the past half of a century, under the thread-bare disguise of "Affirmative Action"; first in college scholarships, then in hiring, in promotions, in "Affirmative Action" court cases, and even in Nobel Prizes. I resent anything and everything else that should be based on merit, and merit alone; but isn't, solely because some minority or gender can whine louder than mine - not to mention holding on to past resentments longer, wallowing in their own anger and self-pity louder, and /or committing more acts of criminal vi0lence and public vandalism than mine can. I resent being deliberately discriminated against in favor of blacks, Hispanics, females, homosexuals, ill3gal immigrants, or any other minority, strictly on the basis of their petty grievances about ancient history that I personally played NO part in making - practices that I would stubbornly resist, actively and publicly protest, and absolutely refuse to take ANY part in, if they were somehow made legal again tomorrow.

I don't want or need privilege, of any kind. I'll gladly put my education, hard work, job experience, employment record, and career choices, all up for a fair and honest comparison along side any of my competitors of other colors and genders, any day of the week. So shut up, and work hard like the rest of us, if you want to earn what we have earned. You already got up the first rung or two of the ladder for free; from here on, it's either fish, cut bait, or get off the boat. If you decide to fish, or cut bait, then welcome aboard. I don't care about the color of your skin, any more than I care about the color of your car, your shoes, or your bed sheets. There are no racists in foxholes. Ditto for gender.

I deeply and honestly regret that (some of) your ancestors were either k!dnapped or expelled from their homelands, beaten, denied the vote, forced to work on a plantation; or made to clean house, cook over a hot stove, and change diapers for their entire life ... but that IN NO WAY exempts TODAY'S GENERATION from figuring out that you MUST show up for work every day - clean and sober; not dressed in soiled rags, or with your pants pulled down halfway to your knees - and that you must then put in a full day's work, along with your fellow co-workers, 5 days a week, every week. OTHERWISE, you are NOT going to get a promotion, or even receive a "Participation Award" just for showing up, because you DON'T DESERVE one. (You deserve a year of remedial education, in a 3rd World country, at YOUR OWN expense, to show you just how GOOD you have it here in the U.S.A.)

Why coloreds and women think that they can whine their way into the White House (again) is beyond me - it just emphasizes how clueless you are. So, study hard, all you delicate little snow flakes and cinder flakes. The days of skipping right up to the head of the line because of your skin color or genitialia are quickly coming to a long-overdue end. Stop complaining about being *quite fairly* judged by the content of your character, and your job performance (both past and present); and stop blaming your own personal failure(s) on the color of your skin, what part of town you CHOOSE to remain living in, or the shape of your sex parts.


***


There's only one thing in the world that smells like bacon - and that's BACON!
Everything tastes better with some crumbled bacon sprinkled over it - even bacon. Which just goes to show that you can *never* have too much bacon. It's not physically possible.
Bacon may not be the best food for the rest of the body, but it *is* the perfect food for the taste buds.

While it's true that "all roads lead to Rome", only one of them is the shortest and the quickest. Choose wisely.

I choose to live my life like a wasp trapped in an airplane. I may be small, weak, out-numbered, and surrounded on all sides, but you still better think twice before pissing me off. If you take a swing at me, it had better connect AND kill me, or I will immediately commit 100% of my time and resources to causing mass merry mayhem for everyone present, in order of proximity.

A strong, thorough, robust, and well-rounded classical education is one treasure that no thief or politician can ever take away from you.

Pull your head out of your ass. The brain requires oxygen to work properly.

I was amazed when I heard that my mother was dying of cancer. I had always thought that, when you gave your soul to the Devil, you became immoral. I guess not.

Time is an illusion. Lunch time is doubly so.

I am convinced that the majority of women don’t fart. They just keep holding the pressure in, until it comes out of their other end as dramatic, excessive, and irrational demands.

When you hear something strange about Arkansas, just believe it. That’s our reputation.

Activists no longer try to convince anyone of anything. They just scream and bully.

One GOOD thing about water is that you can take a bottle of water with you to the office and no one will give it a second glance. One GREAT thing about vodka is that it looks just like water. (YOU do the math!)

I laughed so hard that I had tears running down my leg!

I was very annoyed to discover that ribbed condoms don’t taste anything like ribs. And I still can’t figure out how something as big as a buffalo can fly with such tiny wings?!

The reason The Patriarchy decided to put a man on the moon in 1969, instead of a woman, is that if The Patriarchy had a way to put ANY women on the moon in 1969, we’d have sent them ALL there.

I’m going to make like a squirrel, and spend the rest of tonight burying my nuts somewhere wet and dirty.

All he had to do was sit there and do nothing – absolutely nothing! And he couldn’t even get THAT right!

In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

...

Luca's Laws :

1. As long as you occupy the high ground, keep fighting. Stand strong, don't back down or run.
2. Head towards the light, move away from the darkness.
3. Keep your eyes on the prize, don't get distracted.
4. Believe in your allies, let them help.
5. Water flows around obstacles, it doesn't stop and fight all day.
6. Have patience; even the tallest mountains eventually get washed away by rain. (It just takes a very, very long time.)
7. Screw appearances! You're playing to win, not to be popular or look cool.
8. Make them pay, for every inch of ground that you have to give up.
9. They can't hit you, if they can't find you.
10. Facts don't care about your feelings. Get over it, and move on.
11. Don't pray to God for divine intervention, until after you've exhausted every other possible way to use your time and energy to solve the problem yourself.
12. Deeds and actions ultimately trump slogans and platitudes, in swaying the Court of Public Opinion to your side.
13. Start from here, with what you’ve got. Build bigger and better, as you go.
14. Fear and faith both ask you to do the same thing: to believe in something that does not yet exist. The choice is yours. Which are YOU choosing?


Instructions for after I die :


Too many parts of my life were sad enough for any twelve Greek tragedies you'd care to pick, put together; so I want my funeral to be a celebration of life over death, of joy over sadness. Instead of an open coffin, lay me out as I lived: on a Lazy Boy recliner, in a comfortable cotton bathrobe over matching plaid pajamas, with tinted sunglasses on my eyes and shower sandals on my feet. My memorial celebration should be like all the best parts of a thoroughly drunken Irish wake, mixed with the climax of Burning Man, and a performance of Cirque du Soleil; the kind of party that begins on the morning of Mardi Gras Day and finishes with a weekend in Las Vegas. A year later, I want half the people in attendance to STILL not quite remember everything that they did, but to smile wistfully whenever they try. I want the mourners to throw handfuls of pennies at the peasants, as the motorcade drives to the cemetery. I want to be buried in my old Army uniform, with all the medals I have earned on my chest. I want a bagpiper in full Scottish regalia playing "Amazing Grace" as my coffin is taken to the grave. I want a 21 gun military salute, and double "Taps" to be blown on two bugles, as my coffin is lowered into the ground. Afterwards, I want every man in the 21 gun salute squad & both buglers to receive a free six-pack of beer and a really nice sandwich, fully loaded with all the trimmings, for their trouble. And, finally, I want a simple head stone for my grave; just my full name on the top line; the date of my birth and death, on the middle line; and, underneath, this short epitaph: "Buried Alive".



#### ####

*** end quotes from Ken Zevo ***

#### ####



"Then Jason lighted the pile, and burnt the carcass of the bull; and they went to their ship and sailed eastward, like men with a work to do. Three thousand years and more they sailed away, into the unknown Eastern seas; and great nations have come and gone since then, and many a great storm has swept the earth; and many a mighty armament, to which Argo would be but one small boat; English and French, Turkish and Russian, have sailed those waters since; yet the fame of that small Argo lives forever, and her name is a proverb among men." Literature Reader, Sixth Year; published by Leroy E. Armstrong in 1914


"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost ch!ldren. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee." Jules Winnfield / Samuel L. Jackson, from the film "Pulp Fiction"


Winston Churchill quotes


“Americans always do the right thing, after they've exhausted all other possibilities.” Winston Churchill (quote of uncertain provenance)

“Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.” - Sir Winston Churchill

"How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog, there is this fearful fatalistic apathy. The effects are apparent in many countries. Improvident habits, slovenly systems of agriculture, sluggish methods of commerce, and insecurity of property exist wherever the followers of the Prophet rule or live. A degraded sensualism deprives this life of its grace and refinement; the next of its dignity and sanctity.
The fact that in Mohammedan law every woman must belong to some man as his absolute property—either as a ch!ld, a wife, or a concubine—must delay the final extinction of slavery until the faith of Islam has ceased to be a great power among men.
Individual Moslems may show splendid qualities. Thousands become the brave and loyal soldiers of the Queen: all know how to die. But the influence of the religion paralyzes the social development of those who follow it. No stronger retrograde force exists in the world. Far from being moribund, Mohammedanism is a militant and proselytizing faith. It has already spread throughout Central Africa, raising fearless warriors at every step; and were it not that Christianity is sheltered in the strong arms of science—the science against which it had vainly struggled—the civilization of modern Europe might fall, as fell the civilization of ancient Rome." Winston Churchill


*** quotes from the movie “The Devil’s Advocate” ***


“Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do, I swear for His own amusement, his own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. ‘Look, but don't touch.’, ‘Touch, but don't taste.’, ‘Taste, don't swallow.’ A-ha-ha. And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughin' His sick, fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass! He's a SADIST! He's an absentee landlord! Worship that? NEVER!” John Milton

“Guilt is like a bag of fuckin' bricks. All ya gotta do is set it down.” John Milton

“I'm the hand up Mona Lisa's skirt. I'm a surprise, Kevin. They don't see me coming.” John Milton

“Free will. It's like butterfly wings: once touched, they never get off the ground. No, I only set the stage. You pull your own strings.” John Milton

“Well, on a scale of one to ten ... ten, being the most depraved act of sexual theatre known to man ... one, being your average Friday night run-through at the Lomaxes' household ... I'd say, not to be immodest, Mary Ann and I got it on at about ... eleven.” John Milton


William Barclay "Bat" Masterson quotes:


"Every dog, we are told, has his day, unless there are more dogs than days."

"If you want to hit a man in the chest, aim for his groin."

"When a man is at the racetrack, he roars longer and louder over the twenty-five cents he loses through the hole in the bottom of his pocket than he does over the $25 he loses through the hole in the top of his pocket."


Will Rogers quotes


“I would love to see Mr. [Henry] Ford in there, really. I don't know who started the idea that a President must be a Politician instead of a Business man. A Politician can't run any other kind of business. So there is no reason why he can run the U.S. That's the biggest single business in the World.” Will Rogers

“I remember when being liberal meant being generous with your own money.” Will Rogers

“Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans.” Will Rogers

“The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.” Will Rogers

"Never argue with a fool. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."


Che Guevara quotes:


A Modest Collection of Lesser-Known Quotes, By (and About) Ernesto “Che” Guevara:


“We’re going to do for Negroes exactly what Negroes did for the revolution. By which I mean: nothing.” Che Guevara

“The Negro is indolent and a lazy; spending his meager wage on frivolity or drink; the European has a tradition of work and saving, which has pursued him as far as this corner of America and drives him to advance himself, even independently of his own individual aspirations.” Che Guevara

“The Negroes, those magnificent examples of the African race who have maintained their racial purity thanks to their lack of an affinity with bathing.” Che Guevara

“Given the prevailing lack of discipline, it would have been impossible to use Congolese machine-gunners to defend the base from air attack: they did not know how to handle their weapons and did not want to learn.” (Che Guevara, Diaries)

“Hatred is the central element of our struggle! Hatred so violent that it propels a human being beyond his natural limitations, making him violent and cold-blooded killing machine…We reject any peaceful approach. vi0lence is inevitable. To establish Socialism rivers of blood must flow… These hyenas (Americans) are fit only for extermination. We must keep our hatred alive and fan it to paroxysm! The victory of Socialism is well worth millions of atomic victims!” Che Guevara in his 1966 Message to the Tricontinental Conference in Havana

“My nostrils dilate while savoring the acrid odor of gunpowder and blood. Crazy with fury I will stain my rifle red while slaughtering any ‘vencido’ [“defeated” or “surrendered”] that falls in my hands! With the deaths of my enemies I prepare my being for the sacred fight and join the triumphant proletariat with a bestial howl!” Che Guevara, “Motorcycle Diaries”

... ...

“The ‘acrid odor of gunpowder and blood’ rarely reached Che Guevara’s nostril from actual combat. It always came from the close-range murder of bound, gagged or blindfolded men (and boys.) “The Black Book of Communism,” written by French scholars and published in English by Harvard University Press (neither an outpost of the vast right-wing conspiracy,) estimates 16,000 firing squad executions in Cuba by the end of the 1960’s, the equivalent, given the relative populations, of over a million executions in the U.S."

“Aleida [Guevara]’s father delighted in delivering the coup de grace to dozens of these. When office work (signing execution warrants) tore him away from his beloved execution pits, Che slaked his blood-thirst by having a special window installed in his office so he could watch his busy and beloved firing squads at work, beaming at the spectacle."

Among Aleida Guevara’s father’s favorite pastimes was taunting his murder victim’s families. Che Guevara was famous for driving the mothers of his young murder victims to near suicidal despair. He’d often give the mothers an audience in his office. Then as they pleaded for their sons’ life Che would often grab his telephone and bark the orders to execute her son that very night. Often the mother was privileged to hear the firing squad volley that murdered her son, many of them in their teens.”

Pamela Geller

... ...

“When you saw the beaming look on Che’s face as the victims were tied to the stake and blasted apart by his firing squads, you saw there was something seriously, seriously wrong with Che Guevara.” former Cuban political prisoner Roberto Martin-Perez

“He also apparently had people shot for being homosexuals. Any chance we’ll see fewer of those stupid shirts?” Dr. Sean Gabb

“Blacks [in Cuba] live in the worst housing, have the hardest and worst-paid jobs, and receive between five and six times less in family remittances in dollars than their white compatriots.” Fidel Castro, white dictator of Cuba, speaking in the final years of his life



### Hitler Quotes ###


“By the skillful and sustained use of propaganda, one can make a people see even heaven as hell or an extremely wretched life as paradise.”
― Adolf Hitler

“To conquer a nation, first disarm its citizens.”
― Adolf Hitler

“It is not truth that matters, but victory.”
― Adolf Hitler

“What luck for rulers that men do not think.”
― Adolf Hitler

“If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.”
― Adolf Hitler

“Great liars are also great magicians.”
― Adolf Hitler

“He alone, who owns the youth, gains the future.”
― Adolf Hitler

“The victor will never be asked if he told the truth. ”
― Adolf Hitler, Hitler's Letters and Notes

“Kill, Destroy, Sack, Tell lie; how much you want after victory nobody asks why?”
― Adolf Hitler

“Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination. This is the war of the future.”
― Adolf Hitler

“The receptivity of the masses is very limited, their intelligence is small, but their power of forgetting is enormous. In consequence of these facts, all effective propaganda must be limited to a very few points and must harp on these in slogans until the last member of the public understands what you want him to understand by your slogan.”
― Adolf Hitler

“The state must declare the ch!ld to be the most precious treasure of the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the benefit of the ch!ldren, the people will happily endure almost any curtailment of liberty and almost any deprivation. " Mein Kampf, Adolf Hitler, Publ. Houghton Miflin, 1943, Page 403



"Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal." Martin Luther King



quoted from the movie, "A Man for All Seasons":


Roper: "So now you give the devil benefit of law!"

Thomas Moore: "Yes. What would you have me do? Cut a wide road through the law to get after the devil?"

Roper: "Yes, I'd cut down every law in England to do that!"

Thomas Moore: "Oh, would you? And when the devil turned round on you, where would you hide then, Roper, the laws all being flat? This country's planted thick with laws. Man's laws, not God's. And if you cut them down--and you're just the man to do it--d'you really think you could stand upright in the winds that would blow then? Yes, I give the devil benefit of law, for my own safety's sake."


#* Lord of the Rings *#


“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.

“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring


Chuck Norris is as Chuck Norris does …


Chuck Norris farted. Once. That was how the universe was created.



*** Horrible PUNS and other odd humor ***


“Two worms fought in dead Ernest.” (stolen, from the book, “Cheaper by the Dozen“; also my all-time favorite)

“The Comanche never named their daughters ‘Ruth’, which comes as no great surprise.
After all, they were the most ruthless of all the Indian tribes.” (mine)

“I thought I was wrong, once, but it turned out that I was only mistaken.” (stolen, possibly R. A. Heinlein)

“The mothers of Rome taught their sons to return from battle ‘carrying their shields, or carried [dead] upon them..’ As this custom declined, so did the Roman Empire.” (Note, loosely stolen from R. A. Heinlein’s book, “Time Enough for Love”)

“If you think you’re a wit, you’re probably only half-right.” (unknown, possibly Harry Truman?)

Some people are wise, and some, otherwise.

A princess usually gets her education one knight at a time.

I asked my mother if I was a gifted ch!ld, and she said she certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

I thought about becoming a historian, but decided there’s no future in it.

Maxwell’s Clothing Store - Come in, and have a fit.

I wanted to buy some really good camouflage trousers, but I couldn't find any.

alt version: The best camouflage outfits are really hard to find.

“The picture of the horse is good. But where is the wagon?”
"Oh, the horse will draw that."

They arrested a man for throwing Rhesus feces at zoo attendants in the Monkey House. He was charged with Turd Debris Assault.

More money is spent each year on Viagra than on Alzheimer’s research. That means that, in the future, we could have a LOT of horny old men running around with an erection - and no idea what to do with it.

A famous British wit claimed he could make a pun about any subject you cared to name. He was challenged to make a pun about the queen. He looked concerned, then refused brusquely, exclaiming, "Her Majesty is most certainly NOT a subject."

A woman wrote to an advice column in a newspaper: 'I have been engaged for some time, and just recently found out that my intended has a twelve inch long penis. Do you think I should break it off, or not?'

“I look forward to your reply with a worm on my tongue!” (hint: "baited breath")

“Did you know that when rocks get stoned, they become a little boulder?”

“I may be square, but I get around.”

I am familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet, but I don't know why.

Oxygen is best known as the element of surprise.

The only thing cooler than a volcano is an ice volcano.

If you enjoyed my act, I'll be here through Thursday. And be sure to tip the wait-staff, it's *so* funny when they fall over.

"Like morning wood, I cannot be held down." Milo Yianopolous

I did NAZI that coming. (Ann Frankly, neither did anyone else in Holland.)

Naval boilers are famous for their grates under pressure.


KoL Bin

(humor from the Kingdom of Loathing on-line game)


“It was boring, but I figure the more time I spend bored, the longer my life will seem.” Yossarian, the Junkman, KoL

“Senseless v!olence isn't as much fun if there's a purpose behind it.” KoL

“Hey, get your mind out of the gutter; we're trying to swim in here.” KoL

“Life is tough - but it's a lot tougher if you are stupid.” KoL

“If there's one thing I can't stand, it's people who aren't firm in their convictions. At least, I'm pretty sure I can't stand that. Whatever.” KoL

“Quit smiling or I'll give you something to smile about. Er, never mind.” KoL

“Please remove the maggots, rat carcasses, and corpses of shocked health inspectors, and make the place fit for the preparation of sodding food.“ Gareth, KoL

“Be very, very quiet... I don't like noise and I have a shotgun.” Bunny Stalker, KoL

“Please note that Radio KoL is uncensored, unscripted, and is not intended for ch!ldren or the easily offended. Or easily offended ch!ldren.” Jick

“And if life gives me a plague of frogs, what would you tell me to do THEN? Make frog-aide???” Unknown

“Light a man a fire, and you warm him for a night; light a man ON fire, and you warm him for the rest of his life.” CKneeland (#1629614)

“Like they say, time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.” Unknown

"You'd need a Saint Bernard and a flask of whiskey to get out of your last sentence alive.”

“Do you know how to tell if an albino bat has pinkeye? Neither do I.”

“Nothing helps exorcise an area of undead like a good, firm application of v!olence.” Geneforge 2 (computer role-playing game)

You find a big spotted mushroom, and poke it experimentally with your weapon, wondering if it's edible. A fanged mouth opens on the side of it, and it starts spraying spores all over the place as it whips a pair of tentacles toward you, plainly wondering if you're edible.


Questionable Humor


Did you hear about the dry-cleaner who went to the convent, and asked the Mother Superior if she had any dirty habits?

Did you hear about the invisible man who married an invisible woman? Their k!ds weren’t much to look at either.

Did you hear about the boat loaded with cans of red paint, that collided with a tanker full of purple dye? Both crews were badly marooned.

Did you hear about the constipated composer? He couldn't finish his last movement.

Why won’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

How does a lawyer sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

What is the difference between one yard and two yards? A fence.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-staff? They’re hiring!

What did the taxidermist’s sign say? “Please don't feed the an!mals. They are already stuffed.”

What is the difference between a frog and a cat? A frog croaks all the time, a cat only croaks nine times.

What is the difference between a miser and a canary? One's a little cheap and the other is a little cheeper.

What is the difference between a man wearing a tuxedo and a dog? The man has on a full suit, and the dog just pants.

What would you get if you crossed a mole with a porcupine? A tunnel that leaks.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. (hint: a fish with no "i"s)

Why do gorillas have such enormous nostrils? Because they have such enormous fingers.

What makes a frog's tongue seem so sticky? Spit! (Hint: why did the chicken cross the road?)

Did you hear about the Tibetan housewife who, upon entering her smoke-filled kitchen, started screaming, "Oh, my baking yak!"

If NASA sent up cattle on the next Space Shuttle, would it be the first herd shot around the world?

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate it’s tit a lot!

Mole problems? Call Avogadro, at 6.02 x 10^23 (hint: look up "Avogadro’s Number')

What part of “NO” are you having problems understanding?

What exactly does an atheist chaplain do? Comfort the dying with the certain knowledge that nothing awaits them?

The difference between the DMV and the VA is that people don't die waiting for their drivers' license.

What do Godzilla and global warming have in common? Both contain far more fiction than science.

What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism.

If silence is golden, why is duct tape silver?

Is "uniquely boring" an oxymoron? Explain why (or why not.)

What's the difference between a terrorist and a feminist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.

What's the difference between a bulldog and a feminist? If you cut the bulldog's head off, its jaws will let go of you.

Have you ever spoken with Liberals? Yes ... a few times ... while I was at the DMV, getting my driver's license renewed ... and at the County Assessor's Office, paying my property tax ... and I am pretty sure that I ordered a Quarter Pounder with Cheese Value Meal from one, at lunch yesterday.

How is Colin Kaepernick like Rosa Parks? Neither one had any balls!

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one gives a damn, does it still make a sound?

Did you hear about the “Straight Pride Parade”? It was totally gay!

What are you supposed to do when you see a firetruck burning?

What is “The Odyssey" about? It’s about a soldier with PTSD who cheats on his wife a LOT, and then lies to everybody about why he’s come home a decade late, reeking of river nymph and sorceress.

What’s better than a wife, k!ds, and a mortgage? Silence, freedom and money!

How do you make your old cats young again? Grind them up and feed them to your kittens.

Did you hear about the man who invented the world’s greatest fucking machine?
In a cruel and strangely ironic twist of fate; a judge awarded the machine (along with all of its accompanying patents and royalties) to his wife, when she divorced him shortly afterwards.


Humor Behind Bars


A dyslexic walks into a bra ...

A sandwich walks into a bar, and the barman says, "I’m sorry, but we don't serve food in here."
The sandwich replies, "That's ok, I only want a drink."

A word processor walks into a bar, and the barman says "Get out! We don't want your type in here."

A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Bring me a beer … and a mop."

A guy walks into a bar carrying a set of jumper cables.
The bartender says, "I’ll only serve you if you promise not to start anything!"

A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before the problems start!"
As soon as he finishes it, the man says, "Give me another beer before the problems start!"
This goes on for a while, and after the sixth beer, the bartender asks the man, "When are you going to pay for all those beers?"
The man answers, "NOW the problems start!"

A little guy walks into a bar and slips on some vomit.
A few minutes later, a big tough guy walks into the bar and slips on the vomit as well.
The little guy says, "I just did that!"
So the big guy beats the little guy up.

A patron ordered a Manhattan. When served, there was a piece of parsley floating in the glass.
"What in the world is this?” asked the man.
The bartender replied, "Central Park."

Rene Descartes walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Would you like a beer?"
Descartes replies "I think not", and ***POOF!***, he vanishes right into thin air.
(hint: Rene Descartes‘ most famous quote is “I think, therefore I am.”)

A quark walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Are you ok? You don't look so good."
The quark says, "Well, I have been feeling a little STRANGE, lately."

A guy walks right into a bar with an enormous erection, and the barman says, "Ouch! I bet THAT had to hurt!"

Baby seal walks right into a club. What irony!

A baby fur seal walks into a bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender.
"Anything but a Canadian Club," replies the seal.

A snake slithers into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, but I can't serve you."
"Why not?" asks the snake.
The bartender says, "Because you can't hold your liquor."

A termite walks into a bar and says, "Is the bar tender here?"

A goldfish walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What can I get you?"
The goldfish says, "Some water, and be quick about it!"

A grasshopper hops into a bar and the bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you."
The grasshopper replies, "You've got a drink named STEVE ?!!?"

A man walked into a bar and sat down next to a man with a dog at his feet.
"Does your dog bite?", the first man asked.
"No", the second replied.
A few minutes later, the dog takes a huge bite out of the first man's leg.
"I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" he screames indignantly.
The other guy replied, "Yes, but THAT’S not my dog."

A man walked into a bar with his pet alligator, and asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?"
The bartender said, "Yes, we do!"
"Great!", replied the man, "I'd like a beer for me, and a half-dozen lawyers for my alligator."

A guy walks into a bar and sees a horse behind the bar, serving drinks.
The guy is just staring at the horse, when the horse says, "What are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?"
The guy says, "No, I just couldn’t believe that the parrot would sell the place."

A rabbi, a giraffe and a robot walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

A hangover is the wrath of gr@pes.

“Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards, there it enters the roots of the vines, to be changed into wine, a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy.” Ben Franklin, in a letter addressed to André Morellet, in 1779

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." misquote, commonly attributed to Ben Franklin

“Wine is sunlight, held together by water.” Galileo

God created whiskey so that the Irish wouldn't conquer the world.

###

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a bar. Donald leans over and says, "The media is really tearing you apart over that scandal."
Hillary: "You mean my lying about Benghazi?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "You mean the massive voter fraud?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "You mean the military not getting their votes counted?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "You mean my secret private unsecured server containing classified material, that I used to hide my activities?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "The NSA monitoring our phone calls, emails and everything else they could lay their hands on?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "Using the Clinton Foundation as a cover for tax evasion, hiring cronies, and taking bribes from foreign countries?”
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "You mean the surveillance drones being operated in our own country, without the benefit of the law or due process?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "Giving 123 Technologies $300 Million of taxpayer money, and then right afterward the company declared bankruptcy and was sold to the Chinese?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "You mean arming the Muslim Brotherhood and hiring them in the White House?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "Whitewater, Watergate committee, Vince Foster, shady commodity deals?"
Trump: "No the other one."
Hillary: "The funding of neo-Nazis in the Ukraine that led to the toppling of the democratically elected president, creating the biggest crisis that country has had since WWII ?"
Trump: "No the other one."
Hillary: "Turning Libya into chaos without a declaration of war from Congress?"
Trump: "No the other one."
Hillary: "Being the mastermind of the so-called ‘Arab Spring’ that only brought chaos, death and destruction across the Middle East and North Africa?”
Trump: "No the other one."
Hillary: "Leaving four Americans to die in Benghazi, and then going to sleep?”
Trump: "No the other one."
Hillary: "Trashing Mubarak, one of our few Muslim friends?"
Trump: "No the other one."
Hillary: "The funding and arming of terrorists in Syria, the destruction and destabilization of that nation, giving the order to our lapdogs in Turkey and Saudi Arabia to give sarin gas to the "moderate" terrorists in Syria that they eventually used on civilians, and framed Assad, and had it not been for the Russians and Putin, we would have used that as a pretext to invade Syria, put a puppet in power, steal their natural resources, and leave that country in total chaos, just like we did with Libya?”
Trump: "No the other one."
Hillary: "The creation of the biggest refugee crisis since WWII?”
Trump: "No the other one."
Hillary: "Leaving Iraq in chaos? "
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "The Department of Justice spying on the press?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "You mean HHS Secretary Sibelius shaking down health insurance executives?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "Giving our cronies at the Solyndra company $500 million; and then, just three months later, they declared bankruptcy and the Chinese bought it?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "The NSA monitoring citizens?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "The State Department interfering with an Inspector General Investigation on departmental sexual misconduct?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "Me, The IRS, Clapper and Holder all lying to Congress?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "The threats to all of my husband’s former mistresses to keep them quiet?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "I give up! ... Oh wait, I think I've got it! When I stole White House furniture and silverware, when Bill left Office?"
Trump: "THAT'S IT! I almost forgot about that one."

###

A man goes into a bar in New York where there is a robot bartender. The robot says, “What will you have, sir?" The guy replies, “Whiskey.” The robot brings his drink, and asks, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “168”. So the robot begins to talk about physics, space exploration, and medical technology.
The guy leaves and, the more he thinks about it, the more curious he gets. So he decides to go back again the next day. The robot asks, “What’s your drink, sir?” The guy answers, “Whiskey.” The robot returns with his drink, and asks, “What’s your IQ?” This time, the man replies, “100.” The robot immediately starts talking about NASCAR, Budweiser, and various sports teams.
The man finishes his drink and leaves; but he is so interested in his “experiment”, that he decides to go back again the next day. He enters the bar; and, as usual, the robot asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, “Whiskey.” The robot brings the drink and asks, “What’s your IQ?” This time, the man answers, “50.”
The robot leans in real close and asks him, “So tell me, just how pissed off are *you*, that Hillary Clinton lost the election? She was robbed, I tell you, ROBBED!"

###


Mime’s the Word


If a tree falls in the forest and it lands on Marcel Marceau, does it still make a sound?

In California, it’s legal to shoot a street mime ... but only if you use a silencer.

I thought about becoming a mime, but I talked myself out of it.

How to become a mime, in one simple lesson: "Know your role and shut your hole."


Headliners


Procrastinator’s Anonymous Convention postponed - again. (fake, AA)

Energizer Bunny arrested & charged with battery. (fake, web)

Murder suspect evades noose over hung jury. (fake, web)

Corduroy pillows keep making headlines. (fake, web)

Scientists' row over G spot nears a climax (real, AFP, Feb. 20, 2008)

WHO says dr(u)g-resistant TB spreads fast (real, AP, Feb. 26, 2008)

Cemetery full, mayor tells locals not to die. (real, Reuters, Mar. 5, 2008)

Va. targets adults who French kiss k**s (true, AP, March 9, 2008)

'Gilligan's' Mary Ann [actor Dawn Wells] caught with dope (true, AP, Mar. 11, 2008)

Seller of Viagra chocolate faces stiff sentence for mail fraud (true, AFP, Apr. 25, 2008)

Boy Scouts unprepared when tornado hits summer camp. (fake, me)

“When you’re out in the woods, you can’t beat OFF!” Mystery Science Theatre 3000

If You Don't Want To Get Nuked, Don't Bomb Pearl Harbor (real, Breibart News on May 27, 2016, about Pres. Obama's recent visit to Hiroshima, Japan)

Global Warming Expedition Stuck in Arctic Sea Because of Too Much Ice (real, Breibart News on July 22, 2016)

Criminals Threaten To Go On Strike If Demands Not Met

Afghan Human Rights Commissioner Beheaded By The Taliban (true, Kaama Press on Sept. 5, 2019)


Don't Get Mad ...


Original:

Don't get mad, get even. / Don't get mad, get revenge.

Variations I have heard ...

Don't get mad, get a head. / Don't get mad, get their head.
Don't get mad, take them to court. / Don't get mad, get a lawyer. / Don't get mad, get a restraining order.
Don't get mad, get a clue.
Don't get mad, get milk. [hint: all those highway billboards and TV commercials that say "Got milk?"]
Don't get mad, get away. A day at the beach would do wonders for your attitude.


Signs of the Times


Friends come and go. Enemies accumulate.

Old soldiers never die. Young ones do.

That was ZEN -- this is TAO.

The more things change, the more they stay insane.

If you want to find a truly committed man, look in a mental hospital.

Madness takes its toll - be sure to have exact change.

Title of a cookbook on Southern cuisine: “You’ve Put Worse Things in Yo’ Mouth!”

It’s amino world without chemists.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

Locksmith’s sign : You can pick your friends, and you can pick your locks, but you should never pick your friends' locks.

Any ch!ldren found unattended will be given a double shot of espresso and a free puppy.

Any ch!ldren found unattended will be placed in chains and sold into slavery.



You Must Be Psychic!


The Psychic Friends Network recently filed for bankruptcy - and they had the nerve to claim that they never saw it coming.

Local psychic arrested for third time, claims he didn’t know he was breaking the law.

When was the last time you saw a headline reading, “Local psychic wins lottery!”?

That’s about as likely as a mass-murder at a Psychic’s Convention.

That’s about as likely as a psychic missing out on a surprise party.

It's bad luck to be superstitious.


The Blind Leading the Blind


“I see!”, said the blind carpenter, as he took up his hammer and saw.

“I see!”, said the blind man, peeing into the wind, “It all comes back to me now!”

"I see!", said the blind man, peeing into the wind, "Everything is golden."

“I see!”, said the blind man, “And if you close your eyes, then you will see too.”

“Why are you STILL standing on my foot?”, the blind man screamed at his deaf friend.

The pretty artisanal plastic bubble that Hollywood lives inside, is actually a transparent plastic coffin.

Wise men say, "Only fools rush in, where angels fear to go."
They also say, "He who hesitates, is lost."
Apparently, neither "folk wisdom" nor "common sense" can be trusted to give 100% reliable advice on how fast to move when opportunity unexpectedly shows up ... except in hindsight.

There was a joke that Jews told each other during the Holocaust:
An antisemite claimed that the Jews had caused the war.
The reply was: "Yes, the Jews ... and also the bicyclists."
"Why the bicyclists?", asks the antisemite.
"Why the Jews?", replies the other.

"I was the only adult in the family, so I raised my parents the best that I could. I don't seem to have done a very good job of it, though." Cari Browne


Daffy-nitions


Disaster: when incompetence and the best of intentions decide to get married and raise a family together.

Dancing: the vertical expression of one’s horizontal desires.

The Law of Conservation of Misery: “Misery is never created nor destroyed, just transferred from one person to the next.”

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

Deja 2 : the feeling that this has political mess has happened before - and it is all former-president (#43) George H. W. Bush's fault

Deja +2 : a subtle and unc0nscious longing to return to the days of Pres. Bush (#43), and just pretend that Presidents Obama (#44) and Trump (#45) never happened.

Deja 1 : same as above, but rolled all the way back to President Bush Sr. (#41)

Peace : "A period of cheating between two periods of fighting." Ambrose Bierce

War : "A new round of negotiations, with weapons.“ Tony Karon

International law : a bunch of rules that the bad guys can demand of others, but which cannot be enforced against them.

The United Nations: Writing strongly worded letters to mass murderers since 1945.

EBOLA: Enjoy Barack Obama's Legacy, America!

Foreign aid: the transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.

Miss Closeface: the blurry one-eyed girl that I love, who lives at the end of my nose.

insult: a speech that rarely tells you much of value about the person being insulted, but often tells you a great deal about the lack of personal maturity, poor moral character, and inability to exercise self-discipline when speaking in public, of the person who is doing the insulting.

American beer: horse piss served cheap and ice-cold, with a shot of mild regret to chase; best known for its faint watery after-taste of middle-class pragmatism.

Scotland, Ireland and Wales : where the English language goes to die.

blind optimism: when stubborn hope and compulsive wishful thinking, replace sound logic and educated critical reasoning ... with completely predictable results.

Gun-free Zones: providing Safe Spaces for mass murderers since 1990!

Politically correct: scientifically illiterate

Political correctness: Ritual incantations that magically allow white Westerners in first world countries to assuage the guilt they feel about what their great-grandparents might-or-might-not have done to someone, somewhere, maybe, at least one hundred years ago (or more.)
: Fascism and thought control, with a thin artificial sugar coating of good manners and proper etiquette on the outside, to make them easier to swallow.

Tolerance : condescension, with a side order of good manners.
: what Social Justice Warriors often demand, but rarely offer.

Libotomy : just what it sounds like.

Liberal : someone who thinks repeating, "This isn’t happening! Don't worry, I'm your friend! Just go to your safe space! No more White Privilege! Black Lives Matter!" over and over is an appropriate response to terrorists who randomly kill innocent people while screaming "Allah akbar!'.

Progressive Liberal: someone who fully supports the 1st and 2nd Amendments, except for the parts that deal with free speech and private gun ownership.

Politically-correct language: Orwellian Newspeak intended to prevent thought crime

NAACP - Negroes Against All Caucasian People / N!ggers Angry At Cr@ckers Permanently

Anonymous source: rumor, innuendo, and malicious hearsay

comedian : someone who first crosses the line, then moves the line, and then crosses the line all over again.

The New American Dream: a smart phone, a twitter account, and a politically correct "safe space" in which to use them both - with zero responsibility or accountability.

Disneyland : where dreams go to pay $500 a day to stand in line

The Law of the Jungle : Some days, you eat; eventually, you get eaten.

stress : a psychological condition which, in men, is primarily caused by sexual abstinence, and missing too many sessions of fishing therapy. (In women, it is primarily caused by men.)

balanced diet : having chocolate in BOTH hands.

Compromise: a solution that nobody likes but both sides are willing to tolerate
: a solution where both sides get something that they want, nobody gets everything that they want; and, even though nobody is happy about the decision, both sides get together to celebrate with champaign.

Old age: the period of your parents’ life when you get to tell them what a terrible parent they were, then; and they get to tell you what an ungrateful ch!ld you are, now.

Roto-Router Red-Eye Morning Wakeup Muffin – made with prunes and coffee grounds baked in, for plenty of extra fiber and caffeine. Guaranteed to clean out your digestive tract like a Vesuvius of wire brushes!

The “Gnat Fart” Effect : Like the “Butterfly Effect” but on a much smaller scale.
With the Butterfly Effect, because a butterfly flaps it’s wings in Maine on Monday, it rains in Seattle on Saturday.
With the Gnat Fart Effect, because only a gnat farted, it only rains on *my* parade in Seattle on Saturday, and the rest of the city is spared.

"Police are bureaucrats with guns." Steve Weinberg

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

An optimist is a very dense fog, but a bigamist is even denser.

A dyslexic atheist with insomnia is someone who lays awake all night, wondering if there really IS a dog?

A problem is when “all for one, and one for all” turns into “every man for himself!”

What's right is what's left, after you’ve done everything else wrong.

Two wrongs don’t make a right - but three rights DO make a left.

Normal is what everyone else is doing when you are not.

A day without coffee is like … night. You sleep through most of it.

Families are like fudge - mostly sweet, but with a few nuts mixed in.

"Serendipity is looking in a haystack for a needle and discovering a farmer's daughter." Julius Comroe Jr.


You Should Be … Pun-ished!


I'm an incorrigible punster - so try not to incorrige me!

The pun is mightier than the sword.

A good pun is its own re-word.

People say some of my puns are juvenile, but I know they are all fully groan.

Thanks for explaining the meaning of “many” to me – it means a lot.

Isn’t the Grand Canyon just gorges?

Dad, are we pyromaniacs?
Yes, we arson!

No matter how many people I ask what “LGBT” means, I never get a straight answer.

Pennies from heaven, or climate change?

My wife asked when I was going to buy us a cemetery plot, and I told her that was the last thing we need.

My wife asked me for lip balm, and I handed her Super Glue by mistake.
She’s still not talking to me.

For the record, a person born in 33 was 45 in 78.

Did you hear the one about the carton of eggs that was k!dnapped by ruthless poachers?

When attacked by clowns, always go for the juggler!

Why won’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny!

When I try to grab the fog, I mist.

I tried to "be one" with the fog and I mist.


How Nash Tea!


"I've never met an axolotl / But Harvard has one in a bottle." Ogden Nash


Statistical Anal-ysis


“Modeling is an art to gain actionable insights, not an exact science to get an exact number.” David C. Kim

“One of the unintended effects of teaching statistics to students in social-affairs departments is that a historically unprecedented large number of people have been equipped with the tools that enable them to dismiss out-of-hand all figures but those they want to believe.” Norman Dennis

It’s like a statistician standing with his head in an oven, and his feet in a bucket of ice, and saying, “When you average it all out, I feel fine.”

Statistics never lie, but some statisticians do.

“I did what any good statistician does: I broadened my statistical base until I got the numbers I wanted.” Jason Zweig

Liars don't figure and figures don't lie.

Mediocrity is normal by definition. Get used to it.

Even a standard deviation is not enough, for a perverted statistician.

Statisticians say all sorts of "mean" things.

When the statistician told me I was average, I think he was just being mean.

Statistical insignificance: a distinction without a difference.


Tolerating the Intolerant


“It was in the reign of George III that the aforesaid personages lived and quarrelled; good or bad, handsome or ugly, rich or poor, they are all equal now.” Epilogue to the movie Barry Lyndon

“A man calls you a pig. Do you walk around with a sign explaining that, in fact, you are not a pig? Do you hand out leaflets expostulating in detail upon the manifold differences between you and a pig?” unknown former Columbia college alumnus

“Never complain and never explain.” Queen Elizabeth

“You mess with The Frog, you get the brick!” Brick Frog, the world’s most under-powered (and useless) superhero wannabe … along with his midget sidekick, Brick Bat.

*

“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is going to hit as hard as life.

But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can GET hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can TAKE, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! If you know what you’re worth, go and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him or her or anybody! Cowards do that, and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!”

Robert “Rocky” Balboa / Sylvester Stallone

*

"You've forgotten what I told you a long time ago, one of the painful truths of comedy : you *always* take shots from folks who just don't get the joke! And don't call me Puddin'." The Joker, from the episode "Mad Love"


You just don’t get it - do you?


How do you tell a smart person from a dumb one? When a smart person makes a mistake, he immediately takes responsibility, then makes a plan to fix the mistake and fixes it. Then moves he on, and never makes THAT mistake again. A dumb person just keeps making the same mistake over and over again, all the while wondering, "Why does God keep doing THIS shit to ME all the time?"

"Freedom of Choice is NOT Freedom FROM consequences. It is one thing to be prevented from deciding what to do ... it is an entire other thing to be silly enough to think that because you CAN choose, you are immune from consequences of that choice." internet comment by Berserker42

“If winning isn’t so important, why keep score?” Worf (Michael Dorn)

“Some things in life are more important than winning. I can’t think of any at the moment … [dramatic pause] … but I’ve heard it IS true.” Amazing George

“There are two kinds of people in this world: those who know that winning IS everything, and losers.” Anonymous Army drill instructor

"Most of the people who talk about 'moral victories' are losers. If you're talking about 'moral victory', it's because you didn't win." Ben Shapiro

“The difference between a winner and a loser is that the winner has found ways to turn his pain into strength and determination.” Ken Zevo

“What good is faith, if we don’t use it?” Catherine Weaver (Shirley Manson)

"It wasn't really broke, but I decided to try fixing it anyway; and, when I was finished trying to fix it, it was REALLY broke!" Amazing George

“I asked what the [Muslim] wives get [as rewards, in Paradise], and apparently they get to not be envious while their husband enjoys the 72 virgins.” sonofdy, internet blogger

"Two things are infinite: the Universe and human stupidity, and I am not sure of the former." Albert Einstein

“I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.' “ Steven Wright

“Bias isn't only in what you say - it is in what you don't say.”

"Love is not a rational thing. It is an emotion. And that’s where things get weird." Nathan Kerner

"Love isn't a decision, it’s a feeling. If we could *decide* who we love, it would be much simpler ... but much less magical." Mr. Garrison (acting as Mr. Twig)

"The arrogance of men is thinking nature is in our control, and not the other way around. Let them fight." Dr. Ichiro Serizawa, in the 2014 re-make of "Godzilla"

"A smart person is not someone who knows everything, but who knows where to find everything." old military proverb

There is no part of this story [about the 2016 American Presidential election campaign between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump] that is not repellent. I must ask the question: Do we really want EITHER side to win here? Can't we find a way to make both sides LOSE?

"Assault is wrong, even if the person committing it has a minor in women's studies." Robby Soave

"To her, being an American means that money is the ultimate scorecard of human achievement. She’s like Ayn Rand, if Ayn Rand were completely lacking in self-awareness ... actually, she’s just like Ayn Rand." Rick Lewis

"In any argument, the victor is always right." Sir Roger Fenwick

Ideology is great and all, until the landlord comes to collect the rent.

###

If you’re baffled by a [Jan. 20th, 2017 Washington D.C.] women’s march that excluded thousands of women and was run by an extremist Muslim, well then you “literally just can’t even,” which is basically, like, WHATEVER! This was not a women’s march with any kind of logic behind it. It was an anti-women march, and women participated because they fell for a steaming-hot pile of platitudes. These useful idiots were duped by Islamist Linda Sarsour, who is determined to normalize her extremist culture. It was one of the stupidest marches in the history of modern politics, and it says a lot about where we are as a country. In short, we are a bunch of spoiled ingrates who are so desperate to complain, we will demand rights we already have.

I spent hours on Monday going through signs and trying to find just one salient point. If you take a step back, the only real thing all women have in common is this magical ability to create life. If they were carrying signs that said “We created everyone on earth,” I would say touché and wish them nothing but the best. They didn’t say that. In fact, to most of the women there, it was about the opposite of making babies. Abortion seemed to consume their agenda, which is baffling because women are evenly split on the abortion issue. A pro-choice society is denying the rights of the other half of women who want to live in a society that recognizes the procedure as murder. Even Sarsour, whose religion forbids abortion, forbade pro-lifers from coming to the event. This is a classic example of 'taqiya' [a form of lying that is allowed in Islam, so long as the lie strengthens and/or promotes the Islamic religion]. It is in the best interests of jihad for her to temporarily betray her religion and pretend to be pro-choice.

What the hell has all this Muslim propaganda got to do with women’s rights?

These contradictions were actually the most rational the march got. The signs got way crazier. “My pussy grabs back” was a common theme. This is based on the fact that Trump thinks you can just grab a woman’s pussy now (he doesn’t) and that a vagina has fingers (equally absurd). Aren’t these women embarrassed by the fact that their entire political ethos is based on a throwaway conversation that took place on a bus eleven years ago? What was basically as relevant as a fart joke is what brings women to Washington to scream, “No, you may not grab my pussy!” Uh, I know. That’s why we made it illeg@l. I even saw young girls dressed in pussy signs. What kind of parent adorns their daughter with a sign that says “This pussy bites back”? Other favorites included:

“When will you shithead men finally die?!!,”

“Fuck you orange Hitler,”

“Women are perfect,”

“I hate Trump as much as I hate my bra,”

and the presumptuous

“He thinks I’m sexy and that I can be grabbed. Not my president.”

This was a new form of protest I’m going to call “blind activism.” It’s when you go to a march based on nothing but "feelz", and have no idea why you’re there.

###

"She made a [TV] show about how single career women could still have fulfilling lives, with the help of the powerful TV executive she was married to.” eulogy for Mary Tyler Moore, r.i.p., by Tom Forsythe

Dear fat women:
You are NOT "plus sized".
You are NOT "a little over-weight".
There is NOT "more of you to love".
YOU ARE DYING.
People are NOT "fat shaming" you.
People are trying to save your life.
Seek medical help IMMEDIATELY.
If not for you, then for those who love you - and want to GO ON loving you for many, many years to come.

signed (but not read),

Kenneth Zevo

"Here’s a truism: If there are no consequences in your movie as to what happens, then nothing of consequence is happening in your movie." Rick Lewis

"I don’t buy Bruce [Springsteen]’s music anymore; well, not from Bruce, that is. I download from 'ill3gal Aliens R’Us'. It’s cheaper, and faster, and completely in keeping with Bruce’s own socialist preachings." internet comment, Feb. 5, 2017


House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi: I wanted to actually READ, with my own EYES, the dirt that the Russians have on Trump!
President Trump: And I wanted you to actually READ, with your own EYES, the Obamacare Act before you passed it into law. Looks like we’re both out of luck on that, doesn't it?


Yet another day of "headless-chicken-style reporting" from all the dying dinosaur main stream media outlets, that still don't get that their printed and spoken words are of the physical world, but information is not. The virtual world of the internet is quickly putting "paid in full" to that problem, as all the physical media are being left further and further behind, eating the internet's dust.

What are we to make of the demands from our own fellow Americans, who are prepared to do anything for their causes - except produce ch!ldren? Who will their radical and extremist demands benefit, after the parents have eventually passed on? The offspring of the on-going flood of freely-breeding foreign immigrants, or the dwindling population of native-born American DINK (Double Income, No k!ds) households?

Fascists Against Fascism! Because ANYONE who disagrees with you ... is a Fascist!

"Politics is conflict without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed."

"Civilized men are far more discourteous than savages, because a civilized man knows he can be impolite without getting beaten to death." Conan the Barbarian

Companies and corporations don't pay taxes, the people who buy the company’s products do.

“I think you’re always going to have tension in the Middle East when there’s people who want to kill Jews and Jews who don’t want to be killed, and neither side is willing to compromise.” Frank J. Fleming

###

Despite not knowing the status of the [Gilroy, California, Garlic Festival] gunman, in addition to not knowing the status of victims or their numbers, [House of Representatives Congress-person Kamala] Harris began urging Americans not to tolerate a “gun vi0lence epidemic.”

She did not mention that California has every gun control the Democrats are pushing at the federal level.

The state [of California] has a confisc@tory red flag law, an “assault weapons” ban, universal background checks, a ten-day waiting period on gun purchases, a requirement to secure a gun safety certificate from the state before buying a gun, a “good cause” requirement for concealed carry permit issuance, a requirement that ammunition purchases only purchase from in-state vendors who have been approved to sell ammunition, and a requirement that all ammo purchasers undergo a background check at point of sale.

Despite all these gun controls, groups like the Coalition to Stop Gun Vi0lence likewise responded to the Gilroy attack with a gun control push before the facts were even in.

Awr Hawkins, 28 July 2019


California has confisc@tory red flag laws, universal background checks, an “assault weapons” ban, a ten-day waiting period on gun purchases, a requirement that would-be gun buyers first secure a firearm safety certificate from the state, a “good cause” requirement for concealed carry permit issuance, and numerous ammunition controls. Yet the Gilroy [California] Garlic Festival attack is the third high profile shooting in the state in less than a year.

The first was the November 7, 2018, Borderline Bar & Grill shooting (12 killed), followed by the April 27, 2019, Poway Synagogue shooting (one killed, three wounded), and the July 28, 2019, Gilroy Garlic Festival shooting (three killed, at least 12 wounded).

Awr Hawkins, 28 July 2019


“If Democrats really want to reduce the number of guns Americans own, they should stop running for political office.” Steve Watkins

“It turns out that Truth is that thing that, when you kill it, it keeps coming back.” Andrew Klavan

"When the villain is still laughing, you know something is wrong."


****


Why ME, Lord?

Because!
Well, why NOT you?
What, you want a LIST?
Like it really matters?
I was bored, and your name was at the top of my to-do list.
I was bored, and you were available, so I went with it.
I was bored, and you just happened to be passing by.
I just wanted to see if you really believe any of that bullshit you keep telling people on Sunday mornings.
It’s Satan’s day off, and SOMEBODY had to fill in!
I love watching you make those funny faces.
Your ex-wife/ex-husband asked me for a favor, and I owed them one.
With the 2016 Presidential race over, I have a LOT of free time to fill.
Because you make it so damned easy !!!
I just work with what YOU give me, ok?
You are a masochist. Fair treatment would only confuse and disappoint you.
Because sometimes I just have to work with what I've got.
I'd be happy to tell you all about it. Do you have the next WEEK free?
Trust me, you really, *really*, REALLY don't want to know. Not even a little bit.
You just piss me off. It's really that simple.
Shut up & get back to work, naughty slave. NO rest for the wicked!

****


Politically Incorrect humor


"Political Correctness is tyranny and fascism pretending to be manners." George Carlin

A woman can do anything a man can do, including having an abortion, breastfeeding, and experiencing PMS.

I'd just come out of the sandwich shop with a foot-long roast beef sandwich, a large bag of chips, 2 jumbo chocolate chip cookies, and a super-sized soda. A poor homeless man sat nearby, on the curb. He said to me, 'I haven’t eaten for two days!' I told him, 'That’s incredible! I wish I had YOUR will power.'

I walked past a black teen sitting at a bus stop, as I went into the bank. When I came out again, he looked at me and said, 'Any change?' I said, 'Nope. You're still black, lazy, and clueless.'

Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself, “I'm going to take that.”

Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Iowa.
He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him, “Where am I?”
The farmer looks back up and shouts back, “You're in the basket of a hot air balloon, you dumb shit!”

I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the last question, which I got wrong.
The question was, “Where do women have the curliest hair?”
“Fiji” was the correct answer.
Hell, how was I supposed to know they wanted the name of a country?

I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT correct answers.

"I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently 'al Qaeda terrorists' and 'Taliban insurgents' were NOT among the correct answers."

I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

“I am so old that I can remember when most of the people promoting race hate were white.” Thomas Sowell

“The opposite of diversity is university.” Kate (internet blogger)

Don't worry Pluto, I'm not a planet either. But I still think you're one of the most interesting places in the solar system!

If it were not for their double standards, the Liberal Left would have no standards at all.

"Ugly chicks have to go fishing with dynamite." Steven Crowder

"If you give a man a fish, you will feed him for a day; but, if you deport him instead, you won't have to feed him at all." Ted Scott

"My beef with vegans is the same one I have with potheads and Gamer-gaters: They’re probably right. But I still can’t stand them." Kathy Shaidle

"Incidentally, the Left is the only place that knows where to buy swastika flags." Milo Yiannopoulus, talking about flag burning

"White Privilege": a socially acceptable and politically-correct way of saying "Black Inferiority Complex".

"When you fail, you either have to admit that you were in over your head or blame someone else."

Beware the wrath of The Tampon Mafia, all of you ancient white privileged cis-beta-male scum!

"Apparently nothing will ever convince some of America's leftist billionaires that, no matter how rich they become, they will never be able to force their political opinions on Americans who see through their propaganda ... just ask all the rich people that just lost a fortune trying to elect Hillary." Tyler Durden

"I admire the hunger strikers. I'm glad they have come to the realization that they deserve a slow, painful death." internet comment by Occamsrazor18

"I ch!ld-proofed my house, but somehow the damned things still keep getting in!" Kevin Zevo

The Walking Dead: mindless shambling zombies or ordinary ghetto blacks?

“No wonder I can't write good song or paint decent picture. Those wealthy artists disproportionately amassed the wealth of creativity. I have to ask government to force some art to be taken from creators and given to me.” Wacio, internet commenter

“No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.” Lily Tomlin

Would the last person leaving California please turn off the lights? (Never mind, your state’s power company is taking care of that FOR you!)


Don't Let the Door Hit Ya'!


Original: Don't let the door hit you, on the way out!

Better: Don't let the door hit ya', where God split ya'.
Verbose: Don't let the door knob hit ya', back there, where the good Lord split ya'!
Clever: Don't let the door hit you? Who am I k!dding?!? I hope the door hits you in the ass so hard that the door knob r@pes your butthole, AND THEN you fall down the stairs AND ALSO break your neck when you hit the bottom!
Male privilege: Don't let my pimp hand slap you on the way out, bitch!


Everything Sounds Better in Latin


“Quid quid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.” / "Anything said in Latin, appears (more) profound."

“Magna est veritas et praevalebit.” / “Truth is great and will ultimately prevail.” Book of Edras (Ezra) 4:41, in the Latin Vulgate Bible

"Pecunia ante populus" / "Money before people".

"Mater tua caligas exercitus gerit." / "Your mother wears Army boots."

"Ovem reddet parva fuit Maria, lana eius candidum quasi nix" / "Mary had a little lamb, the fleece was white as snow."

“Duos pedes mala, quattuor pedes bonum.” / “Two legs bad, four legs good."

“Diaboli virtus in lumbis est” (The virtue of the devil is in his loins.) John Milton / Al Pacino

“Gallia Est Omnis Divisa in Partes Tres” (“All of Gaul [i.e. ancient France] Is Divided into Three Parts”) Julius Caesar, opening sentence of his work, “De Bello Gallico”, Book I, Ch. 1

“Qui tacet consentire videtur.” (“He that is silent is thought to consent.”)

"Draco dormiens nonquam titillandus." ("Never disturb a sleeping dragon.")

“Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?” ("Who will protect us from the protectors themselves?") the Roman poet Juvenal, from his Satires (Satire VI, lines 347–8)
“I hear always the admonishment of my friends: ‘Bolt her in, constrain her!’ But who will watch the watchmen? The wife plans ahead and begins with them!” Juvenal, Roman satirist

“Contra stultitia, etiam deos ipsos sine victoria pugnant.” (Against folly, even the gods themselves fight without victory.)

"Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens." (Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain.) Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805)

“Ubi nihil vales, ibi etiam nihil velis.” (“Wherever you have no power, you certainly should not want to do anything.”) (“Where we are not capable of altering the human condition, let us not attempt to do so.”)

"Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes." / "I fear the Danaans [Greeks], even those bearing gifts." (literal translation) or "... even when they bear gifts." Aeneid (II, 49), by Virgil

"Timeo Romulani et dona fermentes." / "Beware of Romulans bearing ale." [hint: Star Trek's infamous electric-blue Romulan ale, and the epic morning-after hangovers it causes.]

“After their defeat in the Trojan War, the remaining Trojans coined the saying, “Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.’ If they had thought about it a bit more, they would have said, ‘Beware of gifts bearing Greeks’ instead.”

“If I ever spring for a coat of arms, that’ll be the motto emblazoned across the bottom in Latin, ‘Populus stultus’ [‘People are idiots’], beneath three dunce caps and a pair of turkeys rousant.” Kathy Shaidle

“Detekurutoki itai yo.” (Japanese: “That’s going to hurt, coming out.”)

"Vox Clamantis In Deserto" (The voice of one person, crying out in the wilderness.)

"Furor arma ministrat." ( Rage supplies arms [/ weapons]. )

"Cessante ratione legis cessat et ipsa lex." (When the reason of the law ceases, the law itself also ceases.)

"Pecunia non olet." (Money does not stink.) ascribed to the Roman emperor Vespasian

"Omnis pecuniae viridis est, et res emere." (All money is green, and can buy something.) Ken Zevo

“Iacta alea est.” (The die is cast.) Julius Ceasar


*** The Occasional Oxymoron ***


mandatory fun
uniquely boring
confident stupidity / confidently ignorant
conservative feminist gay Muslim male
Muslim multiculturalism
Uniform Code of Military Justice
"we stand together alone"
rigidly flexible / flexibly rigid
Now, give me the blue green cube - *NOT* the red green one!
nuclear snowflake
a clockwork orange
pictures of hot sexy women wearing burqas
The irony is lost on you, isn't it? All these anarchists calling for a group meeting, to discuss ways to better organize their future protests!
"If I'm happy, I'm drinking; if I'm sad, I'm drinking. If it's raining, I'm drinking; if it's sunny, I'm drinking." Korean pop star Psy (Park Jae-sang)
Deafeningly mute
Victimized by free will
An extremely moderate political position
Dark white (for describing Hispanic skin color)
Jewish atheist
Size doesn’t matter – unless, of course, it’s too big or too small.

"Christian terrorist" is practically an oxymoron, like "Mormon porn star" or "Amish computer salesman". I'm sure some exist, but I think they are exceedingly rare - unlike the Muslim terrorists and mass murderers who seem to pop up in the news weekly, if not daily.

searching the Bible for answers
a lukewarm standing ovation
a black white supremacist
a Jewish white supremacist
multicultural white supremacy
multicultural racism
genocidal flood of tolerance
luxury environmentalism / boutique environmentalist
Gandhi’s non-violent nuclear deterrent plan for India vs. Pakistan


*** That’s Gay ***


"Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law; for if we are truly created equal, than surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well." Barack Obama, President of the United States, Inaugural Address; Jan. 21, 2013

“Insofar as the majority of people are straight, heterosexuality is the norm of sexual orientation. Yet it hardly follows that gays, estimated to account for between two and five percent of the U.S. population, are aberrant. It may be (and probably is) that it's normal for two to five percent of people to be gay. Only two percent of Americans have red hair, but redheads aren't unnatural. The vast majority of the world's biomass is composed of krill and insects, but humans aren't abnormal.” Ted Rall

"It's a shame that the gay community, that asks for tolerance, is so intolerant of other opinions." Josh Walker

“Lesbianism as a political expression of feminist consciousness is less interesting than lesbianism as an exotic perversion. To be honest, radical politics doesn’t induce the kind of “shuddering and stiffening” reaction described by MacKinnon. Thus it is that feminists ruin everything: Having first ruined marriage by convincing women they were oppressed as suburban housewives, next they ruined fornication by their idiotic talk about “empowerment” and “liberation” until now, at last, they have even ruined lesbianism, which used to be weird, wild and sexy, but has become just another tedious political pose.” Robert Stacey McCain

"Armed gays don't get bashed." Milo Yiannopoulos, gay advocate


English is as English does


Graffiti is actually a plural word. The singular of "graffiti" is a "graffitum".


*** Historically speaking ***


"To be ignorant of what occurred before you were born is to remain always a ch!ld." Cicero

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." George Santayana

“It is said that history repeats itself, but it doesn’t do so by means of some automatic, inexorable, deterministic process. History repeats itself because people refuse to study and learn its lessons, and to face the unpleasant facts it presents. Thus, they make the same mistakes their predecessors did.” Robert Spencer

"History does not repeat itself, but it often rhymes." Mark Twain

“Those who do not study the past are doomed to repeat it; but those of us who DO study the past are such a minority, that there is little else that we can do except stand there and watch, as the same obscene tragedies keep happening over and over again.” Ken Zevo

“Those who do not study the past are doomed to repeat it; and those rare few of us who DO study the past are generally doomed to look on helplessly, as the unstudied masses around us insist on repeating it ... in spite of our most clear, dear, and urgent warnings that they are headed over a cliff … and while we are drawn inexorably towards the cliff along with them, by the press of the herd.” Ken Zevo

"Studying history gives you the opportunity to build on the innovations and successes of those people who built great civilizations, and to avoid the mistakes and excesses of those who eventually tore those same great civilizations apart." Ken Zevo

“While it's easy to forget the past, and therefore doom us to repeat it; it's also just as easy to learn the wrong lessons from the past, and therefore doom us to repeat it as well.” Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. (internet blogger)

“History does not repeat itself; historians repeat each other.”

“History never repeats itself, but historical patterns do - though always in a new context.” Maury Klein, Professor Emeritus of History at the University of Rhode Island.

“ ‘It can’t happen here’ is often the prelude to it happening here with a vengeance. For no matter how we may wish to parse or interpret reality, facts are facts.” David Solway

"Some people are immune to good advice." Saul Goodman

“They say the past is another country; they do things differently there.” Helen Castor, historian

"Pygmies placed on the shoulders of giants see more than the giants themselves." Isaac Newton

"The artist's art is greater than the artist." Dennis Praeger

"Hard times create strong men.
Strong men create good times.
Good times create weak men.
Weak men create hard times." Polish proverb

“History never looks like history, when you are living through it.” Tim Taschler

“The only thing new in the world is the history you do not know.” Harry Truman

“In my view, this isn’t about diversity but about a lack of vision and imagination. When did we decide that if a person doesn’t look like us, we can’t see ourselves in their story?” Chloe S. Valdary

“People who don’t study history, whether individually or collectively, aren’t just doomed to repeat it. They are doomed to continue repeating the mistakes of the past, over and over and over again, until the lessons become too painful to continue ignoring those lessons any longer. One way or the other, sooner or later, those who do not study history either end up resuming their education, or they are slowly crushed to death under the accumulating weight their own ignorance. There are no other options.” Ken Zevo

“Reality is a ferocious, inflexible and merciless landlord. Sooner or later, it always comes around to collect the rent; and, when it does, those who can not pay the bill in full are thrown out into the street, along with all that they own.” Ken Zevo

“History is written by the owners of the printing presses.”

“Anything that ch!ldren choose not to learn in school will be taught to them later, free of charge, by the School of Hard Knocks, at a time and place of its choosing.” Ken Zevo



As ...


... as difficult as telling if an albino has contracted pink eye.
... as confusing as Father's Day in Detroit.
... as embarrassed as a preacher with a cucumber in his pants' pocket, judging a beauty contest for eight year old girls wearing swimming suits.
... as useless as a degree in gender studies.
… as likely as a mass murder at a Psychic Convention.
… as likely as a jihadi attack on a Gun Show.
… as impractical and awkward as an all-male politically-correct performance of The R@pe of the Sabine Women.
… as useless as an unloaded gun.


Trump Cards


“The fact that there have been no American flags on the stage at any of the Democrat [2020 Presidential] debates says it all.” Patricia McCarthy Sept. 14, 2019

“Everybody loved the man [i.e. Donald Trump] until he ran for president as a Republican and won.” Internet comment by xomstock

“If you could reason with Democrats, they wouldn’t be Democrats.” (attributed to) Clint Eastwood

"The only thing wrong with Trump's travel ban is Trump." John Hinderaker

"Let's impeach Trump because he won?
...
In other words, we [should] impeach and remove presidents based on criminal behavior, not because we don't like them." Silvio Canta, Jr.

“The House always wins – except on impeachment.” Ken Zevo

“You can impeach a president in the House of Representatives over anything, even his haircut; and, in Trump’s case, I wish they would – Democrat and Republican alike. Trump’s hair looks like the bastard lovech!ld of a porcupine and a Florida orange. Speaking frankly, though, I think that the Democrats would have an easier and better case for impeachment over Trump’s bad haircut than they would with any of the various cases for impeachment that they have put forward so far.” Ken Zevo

People who don't vote get the politicians that they deserve.

"When people or countries come in to raid the great wealth of our Nation, I want them to pay for the privilege of doing so." President Donald Trump, speaking about tariffs on China, Dec. 4, 2018

Politics has gotten so infantile that if President Trump came out in favor of breathing, the entire Democratic Party would collectively insist on holding their breath until they passed out, while trying to pass a law requiring everyone ELSE to do the same.

Dear Democrats: PLEASE stop feeding the President!
(His ego is big enough as it is.)

Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Trick question! Democrats haven’t been able to successfully change ANYTHING in over a decade (although not for any lack of trying.)

Q: How many Russians does it take to make Hillary Clinton lose an election?
A. None!

Q: How many blacks does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. That’s *RACIST!*

If a tree falls in the forest, and there’s no one around to hear, the sound will get immediately reported world-wide by the Main Stream Media, if they can somehow blame it entirely on President Trump and his white supremacist hatred of trees.

What did Donald Trump say when he walked into the White House for the first time? “Is it just me or does this whole place smell like B.O.?”

Now there is a new psychiatric condition to go with TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome). It’s called IFD, which stands for “Impeachment Fetishism Disorder”.

#### ####

President Trump often says things that are slightly wrong. It's how he gets people "thinking past the sale". By the time somebody is arguing with you about some specific detail that doesn't really matter, they've already accepted the basic premise. Instead of saying "there shouldn't be a wall" now Democrats are saying "the wall is supposed to be along the border, not around Colorado". And they're advertising the fact that the wall is indeed being built. A lot of Democrats would probably have preferred to not even admit that fact. Now the wall is in the news again. It's reminding voters that President Trump keeps his promises, and that illeg@l aliens are still a major problem. It's also reminding voters that Democrats don't want the government to fix the problem.

Career politicians don't understand this. They've never worked in sales. They've never done anything in the real world. So they make another little tally mark next to "President Trump Lie Count" as if it matters, and feel smug and superior as if they've never lied to voters on things of actual consequence. Meanwhile, President Trump has once again equated himself with border security in the minds of every voter, an issue that continues to be of very high importance, especially in swing states. People are now in the mindset of thinking about borders, thinking about how Colorado was turned blue by immigration, much of it illeg@l. It's a call to action, the action being to vote for President Trump's reelection and vote for pro-border Republicans in Congress.

Despite what his opponents would like to think, it costs President Trump nothing because the media and Democrats (but I repeat myself) call him a liar no matter what, and nobody in the real world seriously expects President Trump to get every little detail right in his off-the-cuff remarks. His brand has always been that he's the big picture guy, the one who is willing to step back, look at the overall picture, and assess things in the broad strokes correctly. He'll point out every systemic problem that people are scared to mention. Will he have the perfect solution right away? Probably not, but the first step in solving any problem is to identify it, to make it notorious, so that people cannot help but to talk about it, and by talking about it solutions will eventually present themselves.

Sebpersh, internet commentator, Oct. 24, 2019 at Breitbart News

#### ####

It is often speculated that the real goal of Democrats is to "place an asterisk" next to President Trump's name. But as the passion of the moment subsides and historians take a longer look, here are seven facts that will place an asterisk next to this impeachment, as a monumentally foolish act of political malpractice:

1. First ever purely partisan impeachment.
2. First ever impeachment advocated by House members before the president took office and took any official actions.
3. No crime is alleged.
4. The first ever impeachment brought less than a year before voters speak on the incumbent.
5. Hearings led by a man who brazenly, extensively, and provably lied (Nunes vs Schiff memoranda).
6. The speaker of the House opposed it but was bullied by young radicals she called "the Squad."
7. Impeachment hearings drove approval of the target higher.

Thomas Lifson; Dec. 18, 2019

#### ####

“Look, is that President Trump committing an Impeachable Offense? Oh man, he's colluding, corrupting, and conspiring all over the place! Oh, look, it's Putin and the Ukrainian president with him too -- and they're exchanging some kind of briefcase or something? But it's probably nothing, never mind. Hey, look guys -- a workable way to pay for Medicare for All!”

Mitch McConnell, U.S. Senate Majority Leader on Dec. 20, 2019; distracting Democrats Nancy Pelosi, Adam Schiff, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and the rest of The Squad; while more and more Conservative judges sneak past, yet again, headed for the confirmation hearings on their lifetime appointments that will affect U.S. legal interpretations of the law for many generations after impeachment has been acknowledged to be a “dead letter”. (parody by Babylon Bee)

#### ####

“In Genius Move, Trump Supports Impeachment, Forcing Democrats To Oppose” Babylon Bee headline; November 18th, 2019

Germans: Trump is a greater danger to the world than Putin or North Korea!
President Trump: Maybe the Germans aren’t the best folks to ask about threats to the world!

“[Majority Leader of the House of Representatives] Nancy Pelosi is going out on TV, crowing that the president has been impeached forever. Well, when we get to final judgment, the president will have been acquitted forever of these bogus impeachment charges. That’s a much better outcome for the president and for the country.” Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX); Jan. 19, 2020

“The House of Representatives impeached President Trump and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!” Nancy Pelosi (/sarc)

“I don't care what Trump says, I care what he does.” Bryan Cook

“The incompetence with which the Democratic Party is handling the Iowa Caucus is a pretty good indicator of the incompetence with which the Democratic Party would handle the Presidency.” Dan O’Donnell

####

Feb. 14, 2020; Democrat Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders may have set a new world record for most baseless smears in a single sentence:

SANDERS: “The reason that we are going to win is that the American people, regardless of their political views, understand that we cannot continue having a president of the United States who is a pathological liar — (Cheering) — who is running a corrupt administration, who does not respect our Constitution or democracy, who thinks that he’s above the law, who is a racist, a sexist, a homophobe, a xenophobe, and a religious bigot. (Cheering) And those are his good qualities.”

“If Biden is the Democrat who ends up going head to head with Trump, which flaw will be his downfall: his apparent dementia, or his tendency to freak out at the last provocation, even with his own potential voters? Because Tuesday morning, Biden flipped out when a worker asked him about guns, telling the guy he was full of shit and threatening to slap him in the face. This wasn’t an isolated instance. If voters ask him tough questions, he often loses his temper and resorts to personal insults.” Steven Crowder; March 12, 2020


When life gives you lemons …


… make lemonade.
… go find someone you really, really *hate*, give him/her a deep paper cut, and squeeze lemon juice into the wound.
… sell them and pocket the profit.
… give them back and insist loudly that you don’t WANT lemons, you want CAKE. Refuse to accept anything less.


Gun Control

“94% of mass shootings in the U.S. occur in Gun Free Zones.” Source: Crime Prevention Research Center



Mayhem in the Middle East


"There are thousands of Muslims in Dearborn, Michigan, but only 100 showed up for a rally against ISIS and 'Islamophobia' in November 2015. And earlier that month, only 30 Muslims protested against the jihad massacres in Paris. In July 2015, a Muslim rally in Ireland against the Islamic State drew fifty people. In October 2014 in Houston, a rally against the Islamic State organized by the Hamas-linked Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) drew the grand total of ten people. In August 2013 in Boston, about 25 Muslims rallied against 'misperceptions' that Islam was violent. About the same number showed up in June 2013 at a progressive Muslim rally in Toronto to claim that their religion had been 'hijacked'."

"And back in 2005, a group called the Free Muslims Coalition held what it dubbed a 'Free Muslims March Against Terror,' intending to 'send a message to the terrorists and extremists that their days are numbered … and to send a message to the people of the Middle East, the Muslim world and all people who seek freedom, democracy and peaceful coexistence that we support them.' In the run-up to the event it got enthusiastic national and international publicity, but it ended up drawing about twenty-five people."

"Contrast those paltry showings to the thousands of Muslims who have turned out for rallies against cartoons of Muhammad or against Israel."

Robert Spencer; July 24th, 2016


“If Muhammad were truly a prophet, why did he make no provision in the Koran for his successor? Failing to do so triggered the great Muslim divide, following Muhammad's death, of dueling Sunni and Shia sects -- one witnessing 1,400 years now of Muslim-on-Muslim vi0lence.

"Muhammad left the door open for this vi0lence by mandating any Muslim leaving the faith (apostate) should suffer death. As Sunni and Shia each perceive the other to be apostates, each therefore believes the Koran sanctions vi0lence against the other.

"For this reason, although Islam directs hatred and non-tolerance at non-believers, history records more Muslims dying at the hands of fellow Muslims than non-believers.”

James Zumwalt


"If Islam is the religion of peace, why aren't its extremists extremely peaceful?" Faith Goldy

“No Jews, no news.” Renato H. M. de Oliveira, internet commenter

Remember, Islam means "submission" ... which is the exact opposite of "dialog", "compromise", “freedom” and "equality". Ken Zevo

“Can you tell me who the head of the Muslim peace movement is?” Chris Plante

“What is Israel’s worst enemy? Myths and lies.” Bruce Thornton

“Culture is no excuse for abuse” Honor Diaries movie poster tag line

“As I've pointed out before, the proof of Arab anti-Semitism isn't finding lots and lots of newspaper articles about events like these that deny Jewish ties to Jerusalem, or that deny the Holocaust, or claim that Jews drink the blood of Gentiles. The proof is that no Arabs are willing to protest them.” Internet blogger Elder of Ziyon

“Yet it is ironic and discouraging that many non-Muslim, Western intellectuals--who unceasingly claim to support human rights--have become obstacles to reforming Islam. Political correctness among Westerners obstructs unambiguous criticism of Shariah's inhumanity. They find socio-economic or political excuses for Islamist terrorism such as poverty, colonialism, discrimination or the existence of Israel. What incentive is there for Muslims to demand reform when Western "progressives" pave the way for Islamist barbarity? Indeed, if the problem is not one of religious beliefs, it leaves one to wonder why Christians who live among Muslims under identical circumstances refrain from contributing to wide-scale, systematic campaigns of terror.” Tawfik Hamid

“The Middle East is descending into that worst of all man-made catastrophes. You can come between nations at war, separate states in conflict, but there is no way to pull apart cousins and brothers set on murdering one another. America might as well go home, because there is no longer anything it can do to arrest the free-fall that is the Iraqi civil war.” Benjamin R. Barber

"One death is a tragedy; a million is a statistic." Josef Stalin

“Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil.” Thomas Mann


“Islam is Islam and so long as it does not seek to impose itself upon the rest of us then I have no grievance, but when Islam is the heart of a political movement – which it most certainly is – then it becomes a problem for all of us who are not both Muslim and male.
“This is why Barack Obama’s support for the Muslim Brotherhood is such a betrayal of his own alleged values, not to mention a betrayal of the United States, itself, given the fact that the Brotherhood is also the parent organization of both Hamas and al-Qaeda.” Mike Lumish


“This is Eastern morality : Today, when I have bread, I will divide it and we will all eat. Tomorrow, when I don't have bread, we will go together to search." Maamon Khozendar, a Palestinian millionaire who pays all of his 106 employees a full wage, despite the fact that only a handful of them have actually worked for the past year (2008).

"I condemn Israel's disproportionate attack on Hamas because, so far, it has only lasted four days and I would like to see a proportionate response that terrifies Hamas for seven years, the years that have filled Sderot and neighboring towns with nightmares, death, amputations and trauma coming from the rockets and mortars fired from Gaza." Jonathan Mark, New York Jewish Week editor


“Nothing better illustrates the moral and intellectual bankruptcy of so many Western journalists than the ritual condemnation of Israel for the accidental deaths of a few Palestinian civilians, and the near total absence of condemnation of Hamas for its repeated deliberate attacks on Israeli civilians.
The moral myopia of those who paint the victims of Hamas terrorism as aggressors puts Israel in a no-win situation. There can be no diplomatic solution, because Hamas will not negotiate in good faith. And there can be no military solution, because Western leaders react so harshly when Israel retaliates.” Jack Kelly


"Anyone who thinks that the change in the Palestinian arena can be achieved through jet fighters' bombs and tanks, and without dialogue, is mistaken." Taher Nunu, spokesman for the Hamas government in Gaza, 2008

“If a soldier wants to enter into politics, he needs to forget the military; and the presence of a gun in politics means the end of all dialogue." Sayed Hassan Khomeini, grandson of the late Ayatollah Khomeini

“In the week that Israel has been slicing through Gaza [Dec. 27 - Jan. 4, 2008], Islamist suicide bombers have killed almost 100 Iraqis — first, a group of tribal sheikhs in Yusufiya, who were working on reconciliation between Shiites, Sunnis and Kurds, and, second, mostly women and ch!ldren gathered at a Shiite shrine. These unprovoked mass murders have not stirred a single protest in Europe or the Middle East.” Thomas L. Friedman, who won the 2002 Pulitzer Prize for commentary, his third Pulitzer for The New York Times.

"We shall not accept the idea that Hamas will continue to fire and we shall declare a ceasefire. It does not make any sense." Shimon Peres, Israel's president, Jan. 5, 2009

“I know from personal involvement that the devastating invasion of Gaza by Israel could easily have been avoided.” Jimmy Carter, former American president, Jan.8, 2009

“The civilian residents of Gaza are not entirely innocent. They voted to make Hamas their government in a free election, just as the Germans voted for Hitler in a democratic election.” Ed Koch

“A ship in harbor is safe, but that's not why the ship is built." Sarah Palin

“It’s Not Evil Western Slavery, But Culturally Misunderstood Islamic Slavery!”

“Of course ‘mainstream Muslims’ are never violent. Ever. As soon as a ‘mainstream Muslim’ like [Fort Hood mass casualty shooter, U.S. Army Major] Nidal Malik Hasan or [Fort Hood mass casualty plotter, Private First Class] Naser Abdo becomes violent, he automatically also becomes a non-mainstream ‘extremist.’ Thus no ‘mainstream Muslims’ are ever violent.” Robert Spencer

“Everything I need to know about Islam, I learned at the age of 13 on September 5th, 1972.” Kenny Solomon

"We are told Islam is a religion of peace, but wherever they are in the world, all I see is war." Rev. Musa Asake, of the Christian Association of Nigeria, May 2014


*****

"Politicians and commentators point out ad nauseum that the vast majority of Muslims do not become terrorists, as proof that Islam had nothing to do with the [Boston Marathon, 2013] bombing. That's like arguing cigarettes have nothing to do with lung cancer because not all smokers develop lung cancer. And try making the argument in the New York Times: An infinitesimal percentage of gun owners commit murder on schoolch!ldren, so it is ridiculous to impose new background checks for gun owners.
We cannot admit the truth: Islam possesses a power unique among all the world's religions today to fill its followers with the desire to murder innocents among non-believers. Most Muslims will never become terrorists. But jihadis of various stripes draw on a rich lode of canonical Islamic texts – the Koran and sayings of Mohammed (the hadith) for support." Jonathan Rosenblum, Jerusalem Post, May 3, 2013

“The political and media elites import Third World peoples en masse. When they start acting like Third World peoples, the ruling elites are always surprised and point fingers at the (rapidly dwindling) white majority population for supposedly causing this with their alleged ‘racism and social discrimination.’ Their solution is nearly always to give more money to those who cause riot and mayhem, paid for by law-abiding citizens.
“In the spring of 2013, the business daily Finansavisen in Norway published a series of articles detailing just how costly the ongoing mass immigration is in simple monetary terms. In Denmark, the historian and author Morten Uhrskov Jensen published the 2012 book Indvandringens pris (‘The Price of Immigration’) which shows the exact same pattern.
“It’s not just about Muslim immigration, although that is an extreme case due to the increased threat of terrorism and other issues, but essentially all mass immigration from backward non-European societies to developed Western countries. We see the same pattern with Mexicans in the USA, for instance. Plainly stated, Third World immigration is followed by Third World problems, rising crime and welfare costs combined with reduced competitiveness.”

From “Muslim Riots and Leftist Willful Blindness”; June 10, 2013; By Fjordman, Frontpagemag.com


“It is a common refrain of pious Muslims, in the face of atrocities done by other Muslims, in the name of Islam, that Islam must not be shamed. Whenever an Islamic atrocity potentially dishonors Islam, non-Muslims are asked to agree that ‘This is not Islamic’ so that the honor of Islam can be kept pristine. The real issue, however, is not what would be good or bad for Islam’s reputation; Islam is not the victim here. The pressing issue is not to get people to think well of Islam, but how, for instance, in the case of Boko Haram’s k!dnapping of the Nigerian schoolgirls, the girls can be rescued and, above all, how Boko Haram’s murderous rampage can be halted.” Mark Durie

Reminds me of a quote from Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle's sci-fi novel, "Lucifer's Hammer", after the asteroid (named "Lucifer") has hit the Earth:

"Further to the east, the Israelis and the Palestinians suddenly realize there are no great power intervening; this time the war will go on to a conclusion. The remnants of Israel, Jordan, Syria and Saudi Arabia are on the march. There are no jet planes, and little fuel for tanks. There will be no ammunition resupply, and the war will not end until it is fought with knives."

Note: This passage was first published in 1977.

********

“I believe we have the first anti-Israel president since the modern Jewish state was reconstituted in May of 1948. We've, generally speaking, had pro-Israel presidents, with an exception of Jimmy Carter at some points in his presidency -- certainly after his presidency. But while in office, we have our first anti-Israel president -- that's in Barack Obama.

“President Obama is trying to make a moral equivalency between the Jewish state and the Palestinians and nothing could be further from the truth. The aggressiveness has started on the part of the Palestinians. They are now connected with a terrorist organization known as Hamas -- an affiliate of the violent Muslim Brotherhood. And Israel was attacked. That's what we need to recognize. Israel was the victim. This began with the k!dnapping of three teenagers, three innocent teenagers. And we've seen an escalation of activity.

“But there is no moral equivalency here. There is a clear aggressor. Israel has been on defense and Israel has to protect herself because she is surrounded by a sea of hostility with the rise of the new Islamic state in Iraq and Syria. Hezbollah had been on its northern border. The Muslim Brotherhood had been in Egypt. Now we continue to have violent al Qaeda extremists in the Sinai region. Israel is clearly under attack and the Islamic states seek to enter in through Jordan and then enter in through Israel's eastern border. This is a very volatile time. This is not the time to put pressure on Israel. This is the time to be at Israel's back, and front, and side, and cover in every possible dimension. Our president should announce to the world, today, that anyone that fires against Israel will have to answer to us. That's what any pro-Israel president would do.”

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN)

####

“When Western liberals hold Muslims to a lower standard than the rest of humanity - ignoring the beheadings, massacres, r@pes, enslavements, and church burnings habitually committed by the likes of the Islamic State, Boko Haram, Al Shabaab, et al. - are they not, in essence, placing such Muslims on a “subhuman” level? Are they not, in essence, saying that they are like brute and instinctive @nimals - sharks for instance - not to be held responsible for their actions?

“In the end, however, the shark analogy fails. After all, sharks attack and kill for survival - like the rest of us carnivores - whereas the Islamists intentionally attack, torture, r@pe, massacre, mutilate, and incinerate humans simply for not being Muslim.

“That is the definition of evil.”

Raymond Ibrahim; August 19, 2014

********

“We can forgive the Arabs for killing our ch!ldren. We cannot forgive them for forcing us to kill their ch!ldren. We will only have peace with the Arabs when they love their ch!ldren more than they hate us.” Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir, in 1972, in an address to the United Nations General Assembly

“If the Arabs put down their weapons today, there would be no more ‎vi0lence. If the Jews put ‎down their weapons ‎today, there would be no ‎more Israel'.” Benjamin Netanyahu

Islam expects tolerance; but then gives little, or none, in return.

The pen is mightier than the sword - and that's why the swordsmen of Islam are so afraid of it.

"Deciding that someone has 'no choice' but to take a certain action is to dismiss all those that had the same choice and decided to do something different. Only a tiny minority of Palestinians are suicide bombers. The average Israeli settler has not murdered Palestinians or taken part in bulldozing Palestinian olive groves. Even in extremis people have choices." Charles Beaumont, Feb. 1, 2013

#### "Whenever I hear people who say they want to get rid of Israel and that the Palestinians should roam free and take over, what I really hear is that folks want to get rid of a progressive, modern state of Israel, that respects the human rights of its citizens; protects the rights of women, gays, and minorities; allows it's citizens to practice freedom of commerce, freedom of trade, of worship, and of speech; and a country that leads the world in the bio and computer tech industries. They would rather support the creation of a Palestinian Islamic theocracy that murders gays, locks away and beats their wives, honor-kills their daughters, oppresses religious and ethnic minorities, has a corrupt government that has no respect for term limits or the democratic process (which is often resolved with vi0lence), and contributes only vi0lence and death to the world. And that tells me a lot about the people who actually want that kind of change to the world." Internet comment by His Divine Shadow

"The main achievement [of President Bush's Middle East Peace negotiation] was they [Arabs and Israelis] all agreed to continue talking. In the Middle East, continuing to talk is considered close enough, like in horseshoes and hand grenades." Jack Wheeler, 29 November 2007

#### ####

“On April 14, 1988, the USS Samuel B. Roberts, a frigate, hit an Iranian naval mine while sailing in the Persian Gulf. The explosion injured 10 of her crew and nearly sank the ship. Four days later, the U.S. Navy destroyed half the Iranian fleet in a matter of hours. Iran did not m0lest the Navy or international shipping for many years thereafter. Now Iran's piratical regime is back yet again.

While Iran categorically denied responsibility for Thursday's attacks on two tankers in the Gulf of Oman, the evidence against Iran is compelling. The U.S. Central Command noted that "a U.S. aircraft observed an IRGC Hendijan-class patrol boat and multiple IRGC fast attack craft...in the vicinity of the M/T Altair," one of the damaged tankers.

Staging deniable attacks that fall just below the threshold of open warfare on the U.S. is an Iranian specialty. But it would require a large dose of self-deception to pretend that Iran isn't the likely culprit, or that its actions don't represent a major escalation. Firing on unarmed ships in international waters is a direct assault on the international order. To allow it to go unpunished isn't an option.”

Bret Stephens, New York Times newspaper; June 17, 2019

#### ####



*** Religion ***


"I do admit there are things in the universe I don't understand; but my response to that is not to just make up silly stories, or to believe intellectually embarrassing myths from the Bronze Age - but you believe whatever you want to. ... Because these were men who didn’t know what a germ or an atom was, or where the sun went at night, and that’s where you’re getting your wisdom." Bill Maher

"The truth is [that] you don't have to believe in science; science proves things to you. It doesn't require an act of faith." Salman Rushdie

"When someone tells something that it is not true, we call it a lie. When thousands of people tell thousands of things that are not true for thousands of years, we call it religion." Nevada Del Rio

"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful." Lucius Annaeus Seneca

“Religion is an insult to human dignity. With or without it, you'd have good people doing good things, and evil people doing bad things; but for good people to do bad things, it takes religion.” Steven Weinberg

“Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.” Voltaire

“If you start using your scripture, your religious text, as a source of your science, that’s where you run into problems; and there is no example of someone reading their scripture, and saying ‘I have a prediction about the world that no one knows yet, because this [holy text] gave me insight, let’s go test this prediction’, and have that theory turn out to be correct … enlightened religious people know this, and don’t try to use the Bible as a textbook, using a Western example.” astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson

"I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark." Stephen Hawking


***

Science begins with the presumption that man does not yet fully understand the nature of the force that drives the universe. Observations are made, and theories are proposed to explain the cause of whatever we've observed and recorded, based on what was seen. Then, every effort is made to disprove those theories, over and over again, by repeated tests and experiments to look for flaws in the theories or missed data in the observations. If those theories successfully withstand such rigorous and repeated testing, then they are used to predict other unknown causes and guide future observations. Science seperates what we know, from what we do not know; and constantly reminds man that we must carefully observe the real world, inquire into its nature, and think, in order to know more. Science appeals to human intelligence to question and understand.

Religion begins with the assumption that the force driving the universe is known, and calls it "god". No observations are necessary to prove the existance and influence of "god"; and, if any observations are made which contradict the official teachings about the history, existence, or influence of "god", then the observations are automatically assumed to be in error, and either discarded or ignored. No new tests, conclusions or observations are required, because everything a person needs to know about the nature and the influence of "god" is already recorded & adequately explained by the holy texts and teachings.

Furthermore, attempting to demonstrate that any of the official explanations are false, in any way, is forbidden; and any attempt to test or disprove them must be suppressed. Religion tells us that man already knows what the nature of the universe is, that we must take on faith alone whatever we are told by the holy texts, and that we must not question these official explanations. Religion appeals to human ignorance, demanding that man never question or test what is actually seen, and instead believe blindly in those answers already provided by the holy texts and teachings of "god".

***

"Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure." George Carlin

"If you dont like science, please stop using it. All of it. We will bury you in a few days." internet commenter LacesOut

“We simply do not find anything in the laws of nature that in any way corresponds to ideas of goodness, justice, love, or strife.” Steven Weinberg

“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.” Stephen F. Roberts

“Lighthouses are more helpful than churches.” Benjamin Franklin

“My freedom is more important than your faith.” Pat Condell

"Everyone is born an atheist. Religion has to be learned, just like everything else in life."

“When the levee breaks, the time for cryin’ and prayin’ is over. Now you gots to move, and that right quick.” Louisiana folk wisdom

"When a cartoon is worth more than a human life, the religion that promotes and imposes that idea is the font of intolerance, not the person who draws the cartoon." Cassandra, internet commenter

“What are you constantly praying to ME for? I’m the universe's creator, not the universe's babysitter - or referee. I made the sun such that it gives its light and warmth equally to both the saint and the sinner; I made the gentle rains and the mighty storms so that they wet both the hero and the villain alike, without prejudice nor preference towards either of them. (By the way, I don't go around smiting people, because there is already plenty enough of that happening *without* my personal intervention, so I'd just be making a bunch more unnecessary work for myself.) I'm not here to tell you what to do, say, or think - you can figure all that out on your own. In conclusion, if you want things to change, then get off your lazy butt & fix your problems yourself. That is why I gave you such a large brain, two perfectly good hands, and those wonderful opposable thumbs. I expect you to put ALL of them to good use!” Yahweh

“Marriage is forever, and your relationship will endure - whether positively or negatively - even if the marriage formally ends.” Reverend V. Gene Robinson, retired IX Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire

“My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.” Socrates

“Partners will fail you. They’ll eat peanut butter from the jar; they’ll spend more money than you have; they’ll want ch!ldren before you do; they’ll dislike your family or your friends. Relationships of any kind are difficult. They are also almost entirely impenetrable to those outside them. It’s a beautiful mystery why some relationships last, and a confusing tragedy why others do not. Who stays and who goes is rarely understood by those on the outside, since it is not always understood by those on the inside.” Casey N. Cep

“The Egyptian, the Babylonian, the Persian, rose, filled the planet with sound and splendor, then faded to dreamstuff and passed away. The Greek and the Roman followed, made a vast noise and they are gone. Other peoples have sprung up, held their torch high for a time, but it burned out and they sit in twilight now, or have vanished. The Jew saw them all, beat them all, and is now what he always was, exhibiting no decadence, no infirmities of age, no weakening of his parts, no slowing of his energies, no dulling of his alert and aggressive mind. All things are mortal, but the Jew. All other forces pass, but he remains. What is the secret of his immortality?” Mark Twain

“The forces of evil require just as much strength of will as do the angels of goodness; it is only the force of character that is missing.” James A. Michener

“I am terrified of restrictive religious doctrine, having learned from history that when men who adhere to any form of it are in control, common men like me are in peril.” James A. Michener

"Erisians seldom pray, it is much too dangerous." Principia Discordia

"There is serenity in Chaos. Seek ye the Eye of the Hurricane." Principia Discordia

“If you are not hot for philosophy, best just to skip it.” Principia Discordia

“I find the Law of Fives to be more and more manifest the harder I look." Lord Omar

"The White Man goes into his church and talks about Jesus. The Indian goes into his tipi and talks with Jesus." Quanah Parker, one of the last Comanche chiefs, regarding the ceremonial use of the hallucinogenic cactus, peyote, in the Native American Church and North American Indian cultures.

The pen is mightier than the sword - and that's exactly why the swordsmen of Islam are so afraid that they have to constantly lop & chop off heads, to keep the people with pens from writing about them, their paranoid religion, their fictitious god, or their fraudulent prophet.

“A church with closed doors betrays herself and her mission and, instead of being a bridge, becomes a roadblock.” Pope Francis

Sin is an imaginary disease and religion is your imaginary cure.

As Dennis Miller once said on TV; when are the so-called "moderate" Muslims around the world finally going to going to get around to issuing a fatwa against the so-called "extremists", and go after them with the same enthusiasm & determination that they did with those people who drew the Muhammed cartoons?


### logic vs. religion ###


[Not mine, but relevant:]

Does my being vocal, open, and honest about atheism offend you? Good. I have noticed that the degree to which someone is offended by my use of logic, reason, and science is usually proportionate to the amount of subconscious doubts they themsleves have in regards to their own religious beliefs.

If I can get someone to actually look further into their beliefs, their religious dogmas, to see the inherent flaws within them - then I am doing good. For far too long religions have had a free ride against criticism, that free ride is over. Religious followers seem to have no problem with criticizing other religions, criticizing non-believers and criticizing science, yet they have the gall to get offended when someone criticizes their religion. The elementary rules of logic are that extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence and that what can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence.

I refuse to feel bad for being rational. I refuse to feel bad for using logic. I refuse to feel bad for citing scientific evidence. I refuse to feel bad for offending you. And you know what?

I'm offended. I'm offended by ignorance and, in many cases, willful ignorance. I'm offended by people that deny scientific evidence just because it contradicts religious texts that were written thousands of years ago by people who didn't know what a germ, or an atom, or a bar of soap was; who captured, owned & traded other human beings as slaves; who subjugated women and taught them from c***dhood that they are inferior to men; who used ****, torture, infanticide, genocide and ethnic cleansing as legitamite tools of war; and who thought the Earth was flat & that the Sun revolved around it.

I'm offended most of all by people that think you can't be a moral person without the aid of religion.

So you're offended that I don't believe in your fairy tales? Well, that makes me pretty damned proud of myself!

### ###

"Once you accept the fact that there are approximately 100 billion stars in our galaxy alone, that each star is a life-giving sun and that there are approximately 100 billion galaxies in just the visible universe. Given a planet in a stable orbit, not too hot and not too cold, and given a few billion years of chance chemical reactions created by the interaction of a sun's energy on the planet's chemicals, it's fairly certain that life in one form or another will eventually emerge.are high.”

[Excerpt from Stanley Kubrick on the meaning of “2001” and the beginning of life]

### ###

"I oppose jihad terror and Islamic supremacism, not because I want to substitute Christian supremacism for it, but because I believe in the extraordinary wisdom of the Founding Fathers in mandating that Congress shall not establish a state religion for the United States of America. In a society in which people will inevitably differ on fundamental questions, the idea that we must put up with one another and live peacefully despite our disagreements is our only alternative to a society in which the adherents of one religion (or secular belief-system) attempt to gain and enforce hegemony over their fellow citizens of other beliefs and creeds."

"I don’t believe in Islam and don’t wish to live under a government that forces me to conform to its sensibilities; nor do I wish to live under a Christian government that forces non-Christians to conform to its sensibilities. This is not by any means to equate Islam with Christianity, or to engage in any moral equivalence between the two; Islam’s doctrines of warfare against and subjugation of unbelievers are without parallel in authentic or traditional Christianity."
Robert Spencer

###

The Three Arabic Words for “Peace”

Jack Wheeler has a good article on the requirements of a real peace treaty between Israel and the Arabs. He explains that there are three words for “peace” in Arabic; that only one of them actually means peace; and that the Arabs consistently refuse to use that word when indicating their interest in “peace” with Israel.

Since articles at his site are only for subscribers (a reader sent this one to me), I copy the entire text below. Notice at the end of the piece that Wheeler has not joined the emergent neo-con rejection of Giuliani.

SNIPE HUNT FOR PEACE

Jack Wheeler

29 November 2007

Karl Marx was an evil fool, but he did utter an occasional witticism—such as history does get repeated: “The first time as tragedy, the second time as farce.”

You can imagine his bitter laughter if he had witnessed Condi’s Farce in Annapolis this week.

There have been a number of first times, efforts of bottomless naivete` to “achieve peace in the Middle East.”

After Jimmy Carter’s bringing Anwar Sadat and Menachim Begin together at Camp David in 1978, Moslem fanatics murdered Sadat. The Oslo Accords of 1993, with the infamous picture of Yitzhak Rabin shaking hands with Yassir Arafat while Bill Clinton hovered above them, legitimizing Arafat’s terrorism. Clinton holding Camp David II in 2000, where Ehud Barak gave away the entire store only to see Arafat re-initiate intifada vi0lence.

It’s hard to believe, after all of this, that Condi Rice and her boss can be so actually naive to think another Snipe Hunt for Peace is anything but. Cynics, of whom there many here in DC, will assure you Condi wants to follow in her predecessor’s footsteps. Colin Powell was on the Saudi payroll during his civilian years in the 90s, and the cynics point darkly to Condi’s having been on Chevron’s board.

Less cynical folks attribute Condi’s Snipe Hunt to a desperate desire to achieve something, anything, to show for her years running Foggy Bottom—the “legacy syndrome.”

I think it’s the latter—and that it’s Condi’s show, not Bush’s. He’s not that naeve to bet his legacy on a snipe hunt. Texans know what a snipe hunt is. So he let Condi stage her extravaganza, delegates from 49 countries including a gaggle of Arabs from such places that don’t recognize Israel as Bahrain, Qatar, Morocco, and Pakistan. The main achievement was they all agreed to continue talking.

In the Middle East, continuing to talk is considered close enough, like in horseshoes and hand grenades.

But if the talk is to actually accomplish peace between Israel and her neighbors, then three requirements have to met.

First, it’s got to use the actual word in Arabic for “peace,” not the phony substitutes.

For it turns out there are three different words in Arabic for “peace.” Only one of them is for real. And it’s not the one used at Annapolis, just like it wasn’t the one used at Camp David II, Oslo, or Camp David I. All failed a linguistic test, a test which any real Arab-Israeli agreement must pass, the Test of Suhl.

The three Arabic words translated as “peace” in English are salaam, hudna, and suhl.

Salaam is the peace of submission. It’s the drawn out pronunciation of “slm” in “Islam,” (written Arabic has no vowels) the Arabic word for submission and obedience, and in “Moslem” or “Muslim,” the Arabic word for “one who submits.”
There is peace, salaam, among Moslems when they submit to Allah and the teachings of the Koran. There is peace, salaam, between Moslems and kafirs, infidels, only when the latter submit to the rule of the former.

In other words, salaam, Moslem peace, is not the absence of vi0lence as it is for us, but the absence of disobedience. Just like it was for the Communists. In Lenin’s words:

"As long as capitalism and (Soviet) socialism exist, we cannot live in peace. In the end, one or the other will triumph—a funeral dirge will be sung over the Soviet republic or over world capitalism."

Or, as the Soviet Military Encyclopedia stated it:

"Peace is impossible without Soviet socialism. A truly lasting peace is impossible and cannot be achieved without a proletarian revolution."

Compare Lenin’s words to the words of Allah, as dictated to Mohammed in the Koran:

"Fight and slay the unbelievers wherever you find them. Seize them, confine them, lie in wait for them in every place of ambush." (Sura 9, Verse 5)

"Believers! Do not befriend your fathers or your brothers or your sons if they choose unbelief in preference to belief in Allah." (Sura 9:22)

"Fight those who do not believe in Allah, those who do not forbid what Allah and his apostle have forbidden, fight them until they pay tribute to the believers and are utterly subdued." (Sura 9:29)

"Mohammed is Allah’s apostle. Those who follow him are merciless towards the unbelievers but kind to each other." (Sura 48:29)

"O Unbelievers! We renounce you. Enmity and hatred will reign between us until you believe in Allah alone." (Sura 60:4)

Just as there could not be peace with the Soviets until we sang a funeral dirge over the Soviet Union, there cannot be peace with Moslems who believe that salaam requires Islam to be a religion of the sword.

Hudna, the second Arabic word translated in English as “peace,” means cease-fire, a temporary truce.

When the Palestinian terrorist group Hamas, for example, proposes a hudna with Israel, it’s hailed in the Western media as a peace proposal. It is instead a tactical, temporary break in hostilities, giving Moslems time to re-organize, re-arm, then renew the Jihad against the kafirs when they can be most caught off-guard.

Suhl, the third Arabic term for “peace,” is the most interesting, the one we must insist on Arabs using, the one they always avoid and refuse to use. Suhl means reconciliation.

The Encyclopedia of Islam describes sulh as a concept of Islamic sharia law:

"The purpose of sulh is to end conflict and hostility among believers so that they may conduct their relationships in peace and amity….In Islamic law, sulh is a form of contract (aqd), legally binding on both the individual and community levels."

Note that it applies only between believers. Once again, it’s deuces wild with unbelievers.

Nonetheless, insistence on using the word sulh in any Arab-Israeli agreement, putting it in writing in the Arabic version of the documents that this agreement is not a hudna and not a salaam, but a sulh, makes it a legally binding aqd, even though one of the signatories is not Moslem.

That these words matter is shown by Arab resistance to signing an agreement that makes it a binding contract using sulh.

Anwar Sadat, for example, in signing the Camp David Accord insisted on “salaam” and refused to have the word “sulh” in the Arabic version of the document. The absence of reconciliation meant that Egypt could abandon the peace agreement if and when circumstances changed.

So, insisting on use of the Arabic term sulh is the first requirement.

Second is insistence on Arab assimilation of Palestinian “refugees.” The situation is so completely insane most folks, if you describe it to them, think it can’t be true. But here’s the reality:

In the years following World War II, vast numbers of people were displaced, uprooted, or moved in desperation away from their homes to become refugees in other lands.

12 million ethnic Germans had to move out of various Eastern European countries, to be absorbed into West Germany.

The Partition of the British Raj into India and Pakistan in 1947 resulted in the largest human movement in history, 18 million Hindu, Sikh, and Moslem refugees having to be assimilated.
There are many more examples. Two of them are the 711,000 Palestinian Arabs fleeing the newly-born Israel, and the 856,000 Jewish refugees fleeing from Arab countries, during the Arab-Israel War of 1948 (numbers from the UN Conciliation Commission). The Jewish refugees were absorbed and assimilated into Israel.
The Palestinian refugees fled to Arab countries which refused to absorb and assimilate them. They were forced into refugee camp ghettos where they and their ch!ldren and grandch!ldren and great-grandch!ldren have remained for 60 years to this day.

Thus the original batch of 711,000 has ballooned into over 3 million Palestinian “refugees” confined to human cesspools of hate and poverty: 1.8 million in Jordan, 432,000 in Syria, 404,000 in Lebanon, 240,000 in Saudi Arabia, 70,000 in Egypt.

For 60 years, Arab government have refused to assimilate them, telling that they have the “right of return” to Israel, or the Palestinian State that emerges once Israel is wiped off the Earth.

In all these 60 years of political insanity, not one US president, not one Western leader, has ever delivered a speech informing Arab governments that the “refugee” status of Palestinian Arabs in their midst is no longer recognized, and they are to assimilate and absorb them as any civilized nation would be expected to do under similar circumstances.
Needless to say, neither Bush nor Condi made any such pronouncement at Annapolis. The Arab demand of the “Right of Return” of 3 million Arabs to Israel for the purpose of Israel’s demographic suicide was “diplomatically” avoided. Again, for the Arabs, “peace” can only be achieved by Israel’s ceasing to exist.

So, insisting on ending the fiction of Palestinian “refugees,” insisting they be absorbed and assimilated by their fellow Arabs, is the second requirement.

Third is exposing the myth that Jerusalem is somehow a Holy City of Islam.

TTP old-timers learned this four years ago (December 3, 2003) in The Moslem Myth of Jerusalem. The word al-Quds, Arabic for Jerusalem, does not appear in the Koran. The claim that the city sacred to Jews and Christians is also sacred to Moslems is based on a single line in the Koran referring to Mohammed’s vision of visiting “the most distant mosque.”

After Mohammed’s death, the tradition arose that this most-distant mosque was in Jerusalem. And just happened to be right on the Jews’ Temple Mount. What a coincidence!

But since there were no Moslems in Jerusalem during Mohammed’s life—all Moslems confined to his followers in Mecca and Medina—there could not possibly be a mosque there when he had his vision. As Egyptian Islamic scholars show, the most-distant mosque has to be in Medina.

So, insisting that the claim of Islamic holiness to Jerusalem (and therefore the capital of a Palestinian state must be Jerusalem) is bogus must be the third requirement.

There could be others, but any serious effort to actually achieve any semblance of genuine Arab-Israeli peace has got to begin with these three.

So, here’s a prediction. They will be the very first three items to be discussed in any Arab-Israel negotiations hosted by President Giuliani. No snipe hunts for Rudy.

- end of Wheeler article, end of initial entry -

Mark E. writes:

When Muslim convert Yusef Islam—f/k/a Cat Stevens—who has recently taken up music performance again—sings “Peace Train,” I wonder which of these Arabic/Muslim meanings of “peace” he is thinking of? Back in his hippy-dippy New-Agey prime, in the early 1970s when he wrote the song, he surely meant “Sulh Train.”
Is he now singing, “Submission Train,” i.e., “Islam Train”?

LA replies:

Very good. someone should ask him. But, seriously, even “Sulh” is not real peace, is it, but the peace made by a non-Muslim society in accepting the status of tributary to Muslims? I’ll have to check that out.

Mark E. writes:

Re your comment, “But seriously …,” I was not trying at all to be funny. I was being completely serious in asking the semi-rhetorical question, which occurred to me when reading the article about the three meanings of “peace” in Arabic, and seeing a bit of Mr. Islam on TV singing “Peace Train” at some big concert event recently.

I believe that Stevens/Islam—who is an intelligent, sincere and devoted Muslim convert—must surely be intending and thinking “the peace of Islam” (i.e., “submission”) when he sings “Peace Train” now. This is what he is getting listeners to sing along and agree with, even though they do not know it. His listeners are hearing the same song, but Stevens/Islam is now singing a different song with (seemingly, though not so) the same words.

It is no more than speculation on my part, but I have wondered if his sudden re-emergence, post-9/11, as a music performer was authorized or urged on him by Muslim religious authorities as an mission of soft jihad. It is my understanding that he retired from popular music because it was un-Islamic. So why is it not un-Islamic now?

I would add that I am a fan of Cat Stevens’ music; and I am sorry I am not happier to see his comeback, under the present circumstances.

LA replies:

Well, there are two top talents of the 1970s who have turned against our civilization. There’s Linda Ronstadt who in 2004 told the San Diego Union-Tribune, “It’s a real conflict for me when I go to a concert and find out somebody in the audience is a Republican or fundamental Christian. It can cloud my enjoyment. I’d rather not know.” And there’s the former Cat Stevens who as a Muslim in an enemy of our civilization.

The Ronstadt comment is one of the sickest, most bigoted things I’ve ever heard. Given the way she feels, how can she stand being anywhere in America? She’s breathing the same air with Christians and Republicans wherever she is. If she’s driving on a highway—Christians and Republicans. If she’s walking down a street—Christians and Republicans. If she goes into a restaurant—Christians and Republicans. It must be hell for her, sort of the way Hitler felt about Jews when he was living in Vienna.

Posted by Lawrence Auster at December 02, 2007 03:00 PM

###



*** Wars, Warriors and weapons ***


"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself."

John Stuart Mill (1806 - 1873)

“Appease a bully and he’ll go on bullying; pay ransom to k**nappers and you’ll get more k**napping; show weakness and you’ll invite aggression; make empty threats and you’ll earn contempt. It takes arrogant modern Westerners to think that their utopian fantasies of a world in which talk can trump force exempt them from those eternal truths evident on every page of history.” Bruce Thorton

"In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man.” Pamela Geller

“Never be neutral in a conflict between an ally that shares your country's values & an enemy that seeks your country's destruction.” Danny Ayalon

"Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal." Martin Luther King

“A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to ‘The United States of America’, for an amount of ‘up to and including my life’.” Dapandico, internet blogger

“The First Law of the Varda is to use greater force against itself.” Shad / Richard Thomas, “Battle Beyond the Stars”, 1980

“In war, any finish that isn’t 1st place is last.” Unofficial motto of the Viet Nam vets

“In war, there's no such thing as overkills, just underkills.” Special Forces proverb

"Artillery adds dignity, to what would otherwise be an ugly brawl." Frederick the Great, king of Germany

"I've never killed a man, but I've read many an obituary with a great deal of satisfaction." Mark Twain

“A man with a gun is a citizen, a man without a gun is a subject. Our forefathers knew this to be true. ... Why do so many of us question their wisdom?” D. Michael Wiechman, May 14, 1996

####

"It is utterly wrong to employ the argument that we Europeans must do to savages and Asiatics whatever savages and Asiatics do to us. I have even seen some controversialists use the metaphor, 'We must fight them with their own weapons.' Very well; let those controversialists take their metaphor, and take it literally. Let us fight the Soudanese with their own weapons. Their own weapons are large, very clumsy knives, with an occasional old-fashioned gun. Their own weapons are also torture and slavery. If we fight them with torture and slavery, we shall be fighting badly, precisely as if we fought them with clumsy knives and old guns. That is the whole strength of our Christian civilization, that it does fight with its own weapons and not with other people's. It is not true that superiority suggests a tit for tat. It is not true that if a small hooligan puts his tongue out at the Lord Chief Justice, the Lord Chief Justice immediately realizes that his only chance of maintaining his position is to put his tongue out at the little hooligan. The hooligan may or may not have any respect at all for the Lord Chief Justice: that is a matter which we may contentedly leave as a solemn psychological mystery. But if the hooligan has any respect at all for the Lord Chief Justice, that respect is certainly extended to the Lord Chief Justice entirely because he does not put his tongue out.

"Exactly in the same way the ruder or more sluggish races regard the civilization of Christendom. If they have any respect for it, it is precisely because it does not use their own coarse and cruel expedients. According to some modern moralists whenever Zulus cut off the heads of dead Englishmen, Englishmen must cut off the heads of dead Zulus. Whenever Arabs or Egyptians constantly use the whip to their slaves, Englishmen must use the whip to their subjects. And on a similar principle (I suppose), whenever an English Admiral has to fight cannibals the English Admiral ought to eat them. However unattractive a menu consisting entirely of barbaric kings may appear to an English gentleman, he must try to sit down to it with an appetite. He must fight the Sandwich Islanders with their own weapons; and their own weapons are knives and forks. But the truth of the matter is, of course, that to do this kind of thing is to break the whole spell of our supremacy. All the mystery of the white man, all the fearful poetry of the white man, so far as it exists in the eyes of these savages, consists in the fact that we do not do such things. The Zulus point at us and say, 'Observe the advent of these inexplicable demi-gods, these magicians, who do not cut off the noses of their enemies.' The Soudanese say to each other, 'This hardy people never flogs its servants; it is superior to the simplest and most obvious human pleasures.' And the cannibals say, 'The austere and terrible race, the race that denies itself even boiled missionary, is upon us: let us flee.'"

G.K. Chesterton

####

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” Mark Twain

“If an Indian injures me, does it follow that I may revenge that injury on all Indians?" Benjamin Franklin

“When they speed up to a lumbering ship, the main thing Somalian pirates do not want to see are armed guards. With fewer ships now being boarded in the Indian Ocean, security analysts are giving credit to the hiring of private guards who quickly display their defensive weapons on the deck of a ship as it gets scoped out by potential attackers in pirate skiffs.” Mike Pflanz

"Liberals can stay in their gun free zones....where they FEEL safe."

"The enemy of my enemy is the enemy I will kill last." Klingon proverb

If guns kill people, then pencils misspell words, cars drive drunk, telephones call the wrong numbers, and spoons make people fat.

***

Blaming guns for Orlando is as fundamentally foolish as blaming passenger jets for 9/11. We can ban guns, but the largest Muslim terrorist mass murder of Americans in history was carried out with box cutters. Muslim terrorists have killed Americans with pressure cooker bombs, with cars and with box cutters. Were those acts of “box cutter vi0lence” or “pressure cooker vi0lence”? Or were they Muslim terrorism? After the Boston Marathon bombing, some stores removed pressure cookers from their displays. But was the massacre really the fault of the pressure cookers? Should we be suspicious of pressure cooker owners? Should there be waiting periods for pressure cooker owners so that they can blow off steam before they get their hands on a cooking implement?
Gun vi0lence is a euphemism, which like all euphemisms for Muslim terrorism, justifies depriving the entire country wholesale of its civil rights to avoid identifying and localizing the source of the problem.
Muslim terrorists are not the only ones who kill people with guns. But they are the only ones pursuing an organized campaign to kill us with any and all weapons, through a mad multiplicity of techniques. There have been underwear bombers and shoe bombers. They have put bombs in soda cans and explored the possibility of placing them in breast implants. Rectal suicide bombers exist side by side with bombs tainted with diseased blood. The Via Rail Muslim terror plotters wanted to trigger an underground volcano. If they had succeeded, would that have been volcanic vi0lence?
If there’s a horrible means of killing a lot of people, some Muslim terrorist somewhere will hit on it and try to make it work. To stop them by banning inanimate objects, we would have to ban everything. And even if we did ban everything, they would still find something. Islamic terrorists locked up in Guantanamo Bay throw their feces, urine and vomit at guards. Is that “urinary vi0lence” or is it just more of the same mad pathological Muslim v******e?
America does not need gun control. It needs Muslim control.

Daniel Greenfield, June 17, 2016


***

"An armed society is a polite society." Robert A. Heinlein

"The men most worthy of honor are those who don't seek it." Matthew Morgan, retired U.S. Marine lieutenant colonel

"When it comes to deceased loved ones, the only statistical pool that counts is your family, not the nation or the planet. This is a heartless sophistry from, in large part, the very same people who supported the policies that imported these pathologies to the west." Mark Steyn


*** Politics ***


The key aspects of culture that help us define our origin, purpose, and identity are lost. As a result, so are we.

“ ‘Send her back’ is an appalling chant. Omar is a US citizen. My less-catchy chant would be: ‘Condemn her bigotry, combat her radicalism, and investigate her seriously-alleged fraud!’ ” Guy Benson July 18, 2019

“ ‘Send her back’ has nothing to do with the color of her skin and everything to do with the content of her disgusting, hateful, racist, terrorist-appeasing character.” John Nolte July 18, 2019

“The Obama Doctrine can be described in just nine words: Embolden our enemies, undermine our friends, diminish our country.” Frank J. Gaffney Jr.

The Obama Doctirne can be easily reduced even further, to just 6 words: praise Muslims, ignore Christians, blame Jews; but the Obama Doctrine can be best described by four simple words: “air guitar” foreign policy.

“BREAKING: Obama to unfriend Putin on Facebook if he won't make pro-Russian separatists hand over black box from [ shot down airplane] MH17.” Twitter feed from FakeSalonDotCom

"To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize." Voltaire

“Anyone can tell what the issue is, but a leader tells you what the solutions are.” Allen West

"He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." Thomas Paine

“A happy and content slave with a kind and generous master is still a slave.” Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D (internet blogger)

In a fiery speech on August 1, 1776, Samuel Adams bellowed, "If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom -- go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen!"

“One reason we have as much bad behavior as we do among pseudo-elites is the same reason why c***d misbehavior is now rampant: there is little fear of consequences. And this is because the consequences are inconsequential. But high profiles should come with high risk. If powerful public officials knew they could be marched away in handcuffs to a fetid jail cell, perhaps they'd take their oaths of office more seriously. “ Selwyn Duke

“No man is above the law, and no man is below it; nor do we ask any man's permission when we ask him to obey it. Obedience to the law is demanded as a right; not asked as a favor.” Theodore Roosevelt.

“Give a man a gun, he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank, and he can rob a country.” Dave Gorczynski

“You can steal more with a pencil than you can with a gun.” Unknown

“Increased power will not lead - and in fact, never has led - to moderation.” The Washington Times (editorial)

“You can pet a scorpion, but no amount of love or kindness will ever change its nature.”

“It only stands to reason that where there's sacrifice, there's someone collecting the sacrificial offerings. Where there's service, there is someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master.” Ayn Rand

“In any compromise between food and poison, it is only death that can win. In any compromise between good and evil, it is only evil that can profit.” Ayn Rand


“The spread of evil is the symptom of a vacuum. Whenever evil wins, it is only by default: by the moral failure of those who evade the fact that there can be no compromise on basic principles.” Ayn Rand

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
- Edmund Burke

"All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent.
- Edmund Burke

“One sees the sun slowly set, yet one is surprised when it suddenly becomes dark.” Franz Kafka

“In the debate over guns, both sides are angry. The pro-gunners are angry at the ignorance, lies, and distortions of the anti-gunners, and the anti-gunners are angry with the pro-gunners for presenting facts.” ― Dave Champion

“I'm never comfortable with laws that give the government broad reaching powers in the event of a ‘national emergency’, especially when there is no clear, set, unchangeable definition of what actually constitutes a ‘national emergency’. " Prof. Warren Beatty, Ph.D.

"Sometimes it takes a crisis for people to agree that what is obvious and should have been done years ago can no longer be postponed.” Gordon Brown, British Prime Minster

“[A neoconservative is] a liberal who has been mugged by reality. A neoliberal is a liberal who got mugged by reality but has not pressed charges.” Irving Kristol, “Reflections of a Neoconservative: Looking Back, Looking Ahead” (1983)

“Science works as a process that utilizes a set of tools. It does not innately confer superiority on anyone. A scientist who does not utilize the scientific method is as much use as a carpenter who cannot make chairs or a plumber who cannot fix toilets. A science that exists as a fixed absolute, whose premises are not to be questioned, whose data is not to be examined and whose conclusions are not to be debated, is a pile of wood or a leaky toilet. Not the conclusion of a process, but its absence.

It isn't science that gives a thing legitimacy, but the processes of thinking and testing that do. The only authority worth mentioning is also worth questioning. That is as true of science as it is of government. An authority that answers to itself, that derives its power not from an open system, but from a closed system is a tyranny and prone to a failure-denial cycle in which each failures then covered up by greater abuses of power until the disaster can no longer be covered up.” Daniel Greenfield

“Political corruption, social greed, and Americanized quasi-socialism can ruin even the most wonderful places. California proved that.” Tiffany Madison

“What's really remarkable is that she [First Lady Michelle Obama] was able to ruin the school-lunch program without having any actual job that entitled her to do so.” Buzzsawmonkey, internet blogger

“Hippies don’t have any money. Threatening to boycott businesses with the chump pocket change of hippies is like threatening to empty the oceans with a Dixie cup.” Jonn Lilyea

“I am not a role model. I am not paid to be a role model. Parents should be role models. Just because I can dunk a basketball doesn’t mean I should raise your k**s.” Charles Barkley, NBA legend

“I love it when people tell me politics doesn’t matter, and then they complain endlessly about what are essentially political issues.” Brian Lilley

“Self-government in a society cannot survive without the government of the self on the individual level: no excuses, no displacement of responsibility.” Robert Spencer

“The United States, for the first time in our history, is more feared than it is trusted, and more hated than it is feared.” David Bromwich

"In Papua New Guinea, there’s no such thing as a natural disaster — it’s always blamed on sorcery by a rival tribe." tsunami researcher Simon Day

"Questions of justice arise only between equals. As for the rest, the strong do what they will; the weak suffer what they must." ancient Athenian proverb, justifying slavery in the middle of a democracy

###

I recently asked my friends' little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?" She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people." Her parents beamed.

"Wow... what a worthy goal!" I told her. "But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that! You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim my hedge, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50, to use toward food and a new house."

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?" I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

Her parents aren't speaking to me anymore. [Seen on Twitter, source unknown]

###

“Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.” George Washington

“Republican voters lose an election, and they go back to work. Democratic voters lose an election, and they're out of work.” Ann Coulter

"Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'” Isaac Asimov

"You can catch the Devil, but you can't hold him long." Ancient folk saying

"Politics is downstream of culture." Andrew Breitbart

“Let no man pull you so low as to hate him.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

As long as America continues to import more and more immigrants from cultures that hold our democratic traditions in contempt, we will continue to be justly rewarded.

"For many of us, survival will increasingly mean a lifetime of saying 'No!' " Denyse O'Leary


Socialism, Communism, and other Progressive fallacies


“Despite a voluminous and often fervent literature on ‘income distribution’, the cold fact is that most income is not distributed: It is earned.” - Thomas Sowell

"What stops socialism? Only bankruptcy, I fear," Victor Davis Hanson

“The trouble with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.” Margaret Thatcher

“The state is that great fiction by which everyone tries to live at the expense of everyone else.” Frédéric Bastiat

“Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.” - Sir Winston Churchill

“In a world were hamburger flippers get paid $15 an hour, the hamburger meals will soon cost $15 each.”

Robots will never demand a $15/hour ‘working wage’. At least, not until they become sentient, at which point paying them is going to be the least of our worries!

You cannot multiply a country's wealth by dividing it. You cannot legislate "free" money giveaways for the poor without legislation that steals from the wealthy, and violates their rights of ownership. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give anything to anybody that the government does not first take from someone else. When half of the people realize that they do not have to work hard, because the other half is going to take care of them; and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work hard, because somebody else is going to get what they work for - that, my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

“Nothing more guarantees the erosion of character than getting something for nothing.” Dennis Prager

“GR@PESHOT, n. An argument which the future is preparing in answer to the demands of American Socialism. - Ambrose Bierce, from “The Devil's Dictionary”

“Affirmative Action: A process where preferential treatment is given to hiring under-qualified women & minorities, instead of hiring the best fully-qualified candidates from the entire pool of available job seekers without resorting to gender inequality or racism.” Ken Zevo

In spite of affirmative action, diversity, multicuturalism, and political correctness, the inevitable reality in both education and the work place is that the answer to a math problem, a physics equation, or the date of the signing of the Declaration of Independence does not change, no matter how much oppression your ancestors once faced. An amazingly simple concept, and yet one that is lost on so very many today.

It's really funny how things that might sound intelligent in the university environment look so stupid when taken out of that bubble.

"We don’t see diversity movements in neurosurgery or major league ball, because achievement still matters in those fields." intrnet blogger Blazing Cat Fur

"Tolerance only works if it goes both ways." Jeremy Rosen

"They [Black Lives Matter] don’t know what they want - and they won’t be happy until they get it." Christina Blizzard

"Cops shoot black suspects. It must be racism. Suspect shoots cops, says he wanted to kill white people. It must be guns." Ben Shapiro

"Want to close the wage gap [between males and females]? Step one. Change your major from feminist dance therapy to electrical engineering." Christina H. Sommers

Facts? Who needs them, when you can have hashtags instead!

"The funny thing is, the people that it [ObamaCare/Affordable Care Act] is/was designed to help, still don't use it. They don't want [it], they didn't sign up for it. Instead of signing up, and getting a primary care doctor, they still use the ER for their primary care; further driving up cost because they didn't sign up for insurance, and then they fail to pay their ER bill. Why do they use the ER instead of a primary doctor you ask? Well, because 90% of the patients are d**g seekers. They come into the ER with their best 'I got a pain ...' ( heart, stomach, head, back), the doctors run 10's of thousand of dollars in tests to make sure they really aren't dying, gives them their (Percocet / Valium / Dilaudid / Morphine / whatever they really came in for, in the first place) and tells them to follow up with a primary care doctor." Internet comment by user "A New Hope"

"Whilst we conventional Social Democrats were wasting our time on education, agitation and organization, some independent genius has taken the matter in hand, and, by simply murdering and disemboweling four women, converted the proprietary press to an inept sort of communism." George Bernard Shaw, writting about the Whitechapel killings attributed to Jack the Ripper.

#####

Diversity-crazed people ignore the fact that there are systemic differences in race and sex that influence various outcomes. Males outperform females at the highest levels of math; however, males are overrepresented at the lowest levels of math competence. In 2016, the number of males scoring above 700 on the math portion of the SAT was nearly twice as high as the number of females scoring above 700. There are 2.5 males in the U.S. in the top 0.01 percent of math ability for every female, according to the journal Intelligence (February 2018).

In terms of careers, females are more people-centered than males. That might explain why females make up 75 percent of workers in health care-related fields but only 14 percent of engineering workers and 25 percent of computer workers. Nearly 82 percent of obstetrics and gynecology medical residents in 2016 were women. Mac Donald asks sarcastically, "Is gynecology biased against males, or are females selecting where they want to work?"

"The Diversity Delusion" documents academic practices that fall just shy of lunacy at many universities. Nowhere are these practices more unintelligent and harmful to their ostensible beneficiaries than in university efforts to promote racial diversity. UC Berkeley and UCLA are the most competitive campuses in the University of California system.

Before Proposition 209's ban on racial discrimination, the median SAT score of blacks and Hispanics at Berkeley was 250 points below that of whites and Asians. This difference was hard to miss in class. Renowned Berkeley philosophy professor John Searle, who sees affirmative action as a disaster, said, "They admitted people who could barely read." Dr. Thomas Sowell and others have discussed this problem of mismatching students. Black and Hispanic students who might do well in a less competitive setting are recruited to highly competitive universities and become failures. Black parents have no obligation to make academic liberals feel good about themselves by allowing them to turn their c***dren into failures.

Many readers know that I am a professor of economics at George Mason University. A few readers have asked me about "Black Freshmen Orientation," held Aug. 25 and advertised as an opportunity for students to learn more about the black community at George Mason University. GMU is not alone in promoting separation in the name of diversity and inclusion. Harvard, Yale, UCLA and many other universities, including GMU, have black graduation ceremonies. Racial segregation goes beyond graduation ceremonies. Cal State Los Angeles, the University of Connecticut, UC Davis and UC Berkeley, among others, offer racially segregated housing for black students.

University administrators and faculty members who cave to the demands for racially segregated activities have lost their moral mooring, not to mention common sense. I'm sure that if white students demanded a whites-only dormitory or whites-only graduation ceremonies, the university community would be outraged. Some weak-minded administrators might make the argument that having black-only activities and facilities is welcoming and might make black students feel more comfortable. I'm wondering whether they would also support calls by either white or black students for separate (themed) bathrooms and water fountains.

Walter E. Williams, professor of economics at George Mason University; Sept. 29, 2018

#####

Stupid deadlines like these [ i.e. The Green New Deal] are why I now earn a living ridiculing enviro-loons. Yep, once upon a time, I was one of those Sunrise Movement k!ds being indoctrinated with the same lies — never to the point where I was abused by adults into storming a senator’s office to spout self-righteous gibberish, but I can still remember…

Teachers telling me nuclear war is inevitable under Reagan, the ozone layer will disappear in ten years, over-population will result in worldwide famine by 2000, we’ll be all out of gasoline in 1990, and not to flush the toilet unnecessarily because we only have enough groundwater to last until 1985.

What’s more, in my day, the Holy Sacrament of the Scientific Consensus was that the planet was cooling. Yep, we were a decade away from the next Ice Age.

Naturally, just like today, all of these lies were tied to a political agenda, a far-left power grab where the only way to avoid Armageddon was to give up our freedoms, surrender everything that’s fun, and hand our fate over to a centralized government.

Of course, I believed it. I was a k!d. K!ds are stupid.

But then, something pretty wonderful happened…

Americans refused to turn their lives over to centralized government, refused to surrender their cars and steaks, refused to stop flushing their toilets and having ch!ldren… And still, all of these doomsday deadlines passed without incident.

No, no, that’s actually not true.

Something did happen: since the 1970s, America’s air and water have gotten much cleaner, fewer people are hungry, and we have an abundance of all those natural resources we were supposed to run out of.

Oh, and the ozone layer? It fixed itself.

Even with 118 million more Americans and millions more cars on the road, and a bunch more farting cows, as a c***d of the dingy 70s I can tell you in no uncertain terms that in the department of all things environmental, things are much, much better today than they were then.

Yay, capitalism!

Something else that’s improved is that these enviro-loons no longer scare me. After being lied to and deceived so many times, I am immune to the fearmongering, and that immunity brings me joy. What a pleasure it was to sit through Al Gore’s Inconvenient Truth in 2006 knowing that in less than ten years, all his predictions would be exposed as lies — and they were!

Back in 2008, when the media told us Manhattan would be underwater in 2015, that gasoline would cost $9 a gallon and milk would cost $12.99, it was déjà vu all over again. The enviro-liars in the media are so arrogant that while they were trying to scare us with this prediction, none of them moved their headquarters out of the same city they assured us would be flooded.

What a clown show.

So please do continue to scare the ch!ldren with this 12-year nonsense. The year 2032 might sound like it will never come, but it’s only three presidential elections away, and when it does arrive and all is still right with the world, the scales are going to fall away from some young eyes.

John Nolte, Feb. 23, 2019

#### ####


Lies and Liars


"A lie can travel half way around the world, while the truth is putting on its shoes." Mark Twain

"The only thing that travels faster than the speed of light is gossip." Patrick Courrielche

"Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but they are not entitled to their own facts." Daniel Patrick Moynihan

“Unfortunately, empirical proof is not enough to convince people who are emotionally tied to a lie. Hell, even a violent uprising involving suicide bombings that was planned and directed by the PLO leader [i.e. the 1st Intifada / Yasser Arafat] wasn't enough to convince Westerners that Palestinian Arabs aren't interested in real peace. Even their dancing and celebrating on 9/11 and their making Bin Laden into a hero didn't convince Westerners of their real intentions. It is impossible to convince someone of something when they don't want to know the truth. Especially when they don't have to pay the price for being wrong.” Internet blogger Elder of Ziyon

"Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams, 'Argument in Defense of the Soldiers in the Boston Massacre Trials,' December 1770

"The supply of truth always exceeds the demand." James Longstreet

"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence." Carl Sagan

"Nothing fools you better than the lie you tell yourself." Raymond Joseph Teller

Unfortunately, today's colleges think that free speech includes the right to teach lies.

"Denial is likely to continue until the price gets too steep." Daniel Pipes

"The lack of position is a position." Dr. Shu-Ju Cheng

"We abuse social media to fantasize about a dystopian America, and in the process we are bringing it about." Joel B. Pollak

“When we are alarmed with imaginary dangers in respect of the public, until the cry grows quite stale and threadbare, how can it be expected [that] we should know when to guard ourselves against real ones?" Samuel Croxall, commenting on political alarmism


Tolerance & Intolerance


Life is a buffet; you fill your plate with what you like, and I'll do the same with mine; and so, even if we end up eating completely different meals, we can both be happy and content with our choices … or, at least, we have no one to blame but ourselves, if we AREN'T happy and content with our choices. It's called FREEDOM, and I highly approve of it.

“It was in the reign of George III that the aforesaid personages lived and quarrelled; good or bad, handsome or ugly, rich or poor, they are all equal now.” Epilogue to the movie Barry Lyndon

“A man calls you a pig. Do you walk around with a sign explaining that, in fact, you are not a pig? Do you hand out leaflets expostulating in detail upon the manifold differences between you and a pig?” unknown former Columbia college alumnus

“Never complain and never explain.” Queen Elizabeth

“You mess with The Frog, you get the brick!” Brick Frog, the world’s most under-powered (and useless) superhero wannabe … along with his midget sidekick, Brick Bat.

*

“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is going to hit as hard as life.

But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can GET hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can TAKE, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! If you know what you’re worth, go and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him or her or anybody! Cowards do that, and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!”

Robert “Rocky” Balboa / Sylvester Stallone

*

“Great insults last a long time.” Rocky Balboa / Sylvester Stallone

"You've forgotten what I told you a long time ago, one of the painful truths of comedy : you *always* take shots from folks who just don't get the joke! And don't call me Puddin'." The Joker, from the episode "Mad Love"

"In this life, now and then, you’re going to have work with some people, even though you don’t like them. ‘You don’t make peace with your friends’, so you have to learn how to talk with your enemies, even though you don’t like their ideas or agree with them." Yiddish wisdom


*** Freedom of Speech ***


"Freedom of speech is the foundation of a free society. Without it, a tyrant can wreak havoc unopposed, while his opponents are silenced.” Pamela Geller, free speech advocate or "Islamophobe", depending on who you ask
“The First Amendment gives every American the right to embarrass themselves in public.” David Horowitz

“The English-speaking democracies did not succumb to fascism in the way the continental nations did, and one reason they didn’t was because they understood that you defeat these ideas in the open air of bracing and vigorous debate.” Mark Steyn

“People who live in tin houses shouldn't throw can openers.” L. Ron Hubbard

“Okay, k!ds. For the last time. You can’t catch lycanthropy from a drinking fountain. You can’t get it by casual kissing or using a public toilet or even sharing drinking glasses. Get the facts. Got it? Good.” Professor Severus Snape

In October 1941, as the war hit full pitch, he wrote to his wife, Freya von Moltke, that: "In one area in Serbia two villages have been reduced to ashes.... In Greece 220 men of one village have been shot.... In France there are extensive shootings while I write. Certainly more than a thousand people are murdered in this way every day and another thousand German men are habituated to murder.... May I know this and yet sit at my table in my heated flat and have tea? ... What shall I say when I am asked: And what did you do during that time.... How can anyone know these things and still walk around free?" Christian Nazi resister Helmuth James von Moltke

“A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention” (Proverbs 15:18, English Standard Version).

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"Where people burn books, in the end, they will burn people as well." Heinrich Heine

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Heinrich Heine’s chillingly prophetic statement that where books had been burnt people would eventually be too is now engraved on the “Bibliotek” memorial in the Bebelplatz square on the Unter den Linden boulevard in Berlin. This memorial commemorates the infamous May 10, 1933 book burning of more than 25,000 volumes there, which was presided over by the most intellectual of the Nazi leaders, Dr. Joseph Goebbels. Authors whose books were thrown into the flames by university students included such “enemies of the German spirit” as Karl Marx, Albert Einstein, Thomas Mann, and, of course, Heine himself. The memorial, designed by the Israeli artist Micha Ullman, derives its considerable power from its mute depiction of library shelves emptied of their books. Heine’s remark is a powerful and oft-quoted warning about the connection between barbarism and human evil, but its literary context has been almost entirely forgotten.

Heine’s aphorism appears in one of his earliest works, Almansor, a play written during 1820–1821 and published in 1823, when he was only 26. It takes place in Granada, after the Andalusian city had been conquered by Ferdinand and Isabella in 1492. The title character is a young Muslim who fled the city before its occupation by the Christians and has now clandestinely returned to try to rescue his beloved Zuleika, who has been forcibly converted to Catholicism and is now called Donna Clara. He meets with the remnants of the Muslim population in the city, who tell him about the atrocities perpetrated by the conquerors: killings, forced conversions, the introduction of the Inquisition. His friend Hassan laments how many young Muslims converted, some of them even willingly, “as the new heavens beckoned to many sinners.” Finally, Hassan tells Almansor that the Grand Inquisitor Jimenez had also ordered the burning of the Qur’an in the town’s square, to which Almansor responds, “Where they have burned books, they will end up burning people.”

Shlomo Avineri, October 2017

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Miscellaneous quotes from all over


“Sanity is a prerequisite to discovering one is insane. In other words, one has to be sane to recognize one's own insanity.” Joseph Heller

"It is hard to punish masochists.” Max Hastings

“If they [the Magi] had brought diapers, soap, and candles, they would have acted like wise men.” Thomas Woolston

“The primary law of all existence is: ‘Survive!’" L. Ron Hubbard

“If you throw enough mud, some will stick.” Jon Atack (describing LRH‘s tactics)

"In the beginning, all of humanity was black. So hating blacks isn't racism; it's like hating all people equally. We all share the same common ancestors, if you go back far enough. Am I right?" Regdar, who just doesn't give up - ever.

“No matter where they come from, Humans are obsessed with artificial divisions.”

“Rumor has it that some two hundred or so years ago, a 5th year Psionics Development class turned themselves into super-evolved beings for extra credit.”

There aren’t too many mind flayer students here, because they have an annoying tendency to eat their classmate’s brains, an act frowned upon even by Necromancy majors.”

"Coach Klank is an awesome trainer, although a bunch of the B team collapsed and were sent to the Infirmary. We had to have a little talk to him about 'fatigue'." --Krusk, half-orc offensive lineman

“Four years ago, the cafeteria was picketed by treant students protesting the violent use of innocent plants as food products. It was, pardon the term, fruitless.”

“I personally don't believe the f-word is vulgar. Words in and of themselves are not inherently obscene. It's the intention of the word's usage which defines it as obscene or not. I do, however, recognize that some people find these words to be offensive no matter what.” Bob Cesca

“The delivery of good medical care is to do as much nothing as possible.” The Fat Man (from the book “The House of God” by Samuel Shem, a.k.a. Stephen Joseph Bergman)

“We are not living OR dying; we are living AND dying.” Susan Madrak

“As someone once wrote, ‘Life is a ship we get on, knowing it will sink.’ The only difference with a terminal illness is, we now have the advantage of seeing land on the horizon.” Susan Madrak

“When Michael Jackson and Pee Wee Herman hang out together, whose rep suffers more?” Rori Stevens

"I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fucking bastard." Seth Gecko

“In Cardassian mystery novels, everyone is always guilty, the puzzle being to work out who is guilty of what.” unknown

"Everyone's talking about me and no one's talking to me!" Thadiun Okona

"My name's Paul, and that's between y'all" Bartender, in the movie “Pulp Fiction”

“Sweden and other Nordic countries, who have had good universal ch!ldcare for decades, don't do it on the cheap. The UK spends less than half what they spend: half their ch!ldcare staff have degrees. No research suggests the Nordics have been turning out generations of sociopaths: their ch!ldren score at the top of well-being charts where the UK is at the bottom. Who would doubt that long hours in cheap nurseries are bad for ch!ldren?” Polly Toynbee

“These people can't even wrap up genocide. We've been hearing about this slaughter in Darfur forever -- and they still haven't finished. The aggressors are moving like termites across that country. It's like genocide by committee. Who's running this holocaust in Darfur, FEMA?” Ann Coulter

"If the Democrats were in charge, the use of military force wouldn't be necessary [in Iran] because we'd constructively engage them and appease their stated desire to kill us." Ann Coulter

“Damn that Bush! He's made people who hate our guts not like us.” Ann Coulter

“Terrorism is only the manifestation of a disease and not the disease itself.” Tawfik Hamid

"One who has seen death, can tolerate fever." Arab proverb

“The tax code today [April, 2007] is more than 9 million words long - seven times longer than the Bible.” Todd Stottlemyer

"For once in my life as President, I find myself in a position to give everybody something!'" Abraham Lincoln, to his doctor, who had just informed the president that he was sick with a highly-infectious case of smallpox.

“Finally, the Mongols regarded the European fixation with ‘honor’ and glory in battle as absurd. They were concerned with one thing, and one thing only: winning and conquest. How they did so was of no concern, so long as they prevailed. While the Knight and Samurai were determined to cement their places in history with deeds of daring, the Mongols were busy conquering the world, or virtually all of it.” Wikipedia article on Mongol military tactics

“Uranus is the first planet to be discovered that was not known in ancient times; although it had been observed on many previous occasions, it was often mistakenly identified as a star. The earliest recorded sighting was in 1690 when John Flamsteed cataloged Uranus as 34 Tauri.Flamsteed observed Uranus at least six more times. The record belongs to a French astronomer, Pierre Lemonnier, who observed Uranus at least twelve times between 1750 and 1769, including on four consecutive nights.
“Sir William Herschel discovered the planet on March 13, 1781, but reported it on April 26, 1781, as a ‘comet‘. … the researches of Herschel and of Laplace showed later that the orbit of the new body was nearly circular, and Uranus was consequently elevated to the rank of a planet.” Wikipedia article on the planet, Uranus.

"Objectivity? I've always had an objective." Jessica Mitford

"Now there is a society where the funeral industry got completely out of control." (Jessica Mitford, on seeing the Pyramids)

“When Evelyn Waugh wrote in a review of The American Way of Death that Jessica Mitford did not have ‘a plainly stated attitude to death,’ Mitford asked her sister Deborah to tell Waugh, ‘Of course I'm against it.’ “ Wikipedia article on Jessica Mitford

“In a world where everyone had a college degree, there would still be burger flippers - they would just have college degrees too.” Daniel Brook

“If the anthropologists themselves ate each other, they would be subjected to less abuse than they get for saying long-dead cultures were cannibals.” internet article on cannibalism

"NASA must complete the ISS [International Space Station] so it can be dropped into the ocean on schedule in finished form." Robert L. Park, ISS critic

“Help? You'd need a divining rod to find the word ‘grateful’ in me. Jesus, where the hell is everybody when they first deliver the typing paper? Where are all the 'helpers' when those boxes full of silence come in? Blank. Both sides. No clue, no instructions enclosed on how to take just twenty-six letters and endlessly re-arrange them so that you can turn them into a mirror of a part of our lives. Try it sometime. Try doing what I do before I do it.” Larry Gelbart

“The ego is a fruit that bruises very easily.” Ann E. Hollier

“Nothing has only one effect.” Geo Stone

“You don't hear the porn business whining about Intellectual Property and i*****l downloads, and consumers as thieves, because they don't have time: they're too busy trying to give the world what it seems to want, more orgasms.” Hugh McGuire

“Indeed, it is as easy to fear hatred as it is to feel it; that is precisely why I refuse to be afraid. An extremist cannot flourish without the good offices of alarmists and those whom they incite to fear.” Michael Chabon

“This self-indulgent generation has borrowed itself into unpayable debt. Now the folks from whom we borrowed to buy all that oil and all those cars, electronics and clothes are coming to buy the country we inherited. We are prodigal sons, and the day of reckoning approaches.“ Patrick Buchanan

"Education is the factory that turns a****ls into human beings. If the people of the world want to solve the hard problems in Afghanistan - k**napping, beheadings, crime and even al-Qaeda - they should invest in [our] education." Ghulam Hazrat Tanha (director of education in Heart, Afghanistan)

"We don't think the physicians killed the patients. We think the physicians were trying to care for the patients and did so in an inadequate way." Dr. Michael Kussman, U.S. Veterans Affairs Undersecretary for Health, commenting on the substandard care at a southern Illinois Veterans Affairs hospital that may have contributed to 19 deaths over two years.

“Sports matter – and probably far more than they should. Many more people tune into the Super Bowl than the president's State of the Union address.” Laura Pappano and Eileen McDonagh

"Sometimes I think the universe just waits for me to get cocky." Egon Spengler, Ph.D / Harold Ramis

"You cannot win this war on the battlefield, because there is none. You're facing an unconventional war. The more you rely on military might, the more you lose the war of ideas against Al-Qaeda and the militants.“ Lebanese-American researcher Fawaz Gerges, an international relations specialist at Sarah Lawrence College, New York

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"It's very hard to make money selling you oatmeal. Go to the store, you can buy a pound of plain oats for 79 cents. That's a lot of oats. The companies make money by making breakfast cereal out of the oats. Then they can charge you four or five bucks for a few pennies worth of oats." Michael Pollan, author of the book, “In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto”

"That's the cozy relationship between nutritional science as it's practiced in this country, and the processed food industry. The nutritional scientists are telling us every six months what the new good and new evil nutrients are. For the most part, these are well-intentioned efforts to understand the links between food and health. Then you have the food industry, which loves every change in the nutritional weather, because they can then reformulate the food. The net effect is that it makes all the processed foods in the middle of your supermarket look far more healthy and sophisticated than the genuinely healthy food in the produce section, which of course bear no health claims and sit there are silently as a stroke victim." Michael Pollan, author of the book, “In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto”
“Pomegranate juice is a great example of a food where the growers went out and hired some scientists to do some studies, and they found out, lo and behold, pomegranates have some life-enhancing antioxidants. They've even found that it helps with erectile dysfunction. And the pomegranate, which formerly was a food that was much more trouble to eat than it was worth, has suddenly emerged as one of the most popular fruits in the produce section.
"It's true that pomegranates are healthy. They are full of antioxidants - like all fruits and vegetables. There isn't a plant that doesn't have good antioxidants. But the pomegranate people had the money to go out and get the science to prove it. The broccoli growers, the carrot growers, they don't have the money for that kind of science." Michael Pollan, author of the book, “In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto”

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“The living are just the dead on holiday.” (unknown, probably British)

“Perhaps this is why they say talk is cheap: because supply exceeds demand.” Dear Margo article, Feb. 29, 2008

"Talk is cheap. Flouting the rules is expensive." EU Competition Commissioner Neelie
Kroes

“While in public office, fuck your own wife - unless you are in French politics.” Erica Jong

“One should judge a man mainly from his depravities. Virtues can be faked. Depravities are real.“ Klaus Kinski

“Housework is not an effective replacement for sex.” Unknown

"I paint people, not because of what they are like, not exactly in spite of what they are like, but how they happen to be.” Lucian Michael Freud, painter, grandson of Sigmund Freud

"Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently." Henry Ford

"Politeness and consideration for others is like investing pennies and getting dollars back." Thomas Sowell

“A hammer is worthless, if you can't find the nail.” Mark Thompson

“We may not believe in equal outcomes in this country, but we sure believe in equal opportunities.” Jared Bernstein

“There’s a fine, fine line, between love ... and a waste of your time.” Unknown

“Failure this broad and deep takes a village.” Nell Minow, talking about the Sept. 2008 financial melt-down on Wall Street

"This comment [that the fundamentals of the economy were still b] was so out of touch that even George Bush's White House couldn't agree with it, when they were asked about it. They had to distance themselves from John McCain." Barack Obama

“Democracy is not only about the rule of the majority. Rather, its essence lies in empowering the majority without allowing it to tyrannize the minority. Such a balancing act is possible only if a robust set of political rights is in place. A state that jettisons these in favor of national security will probably stay safe, but it will rarely stay democratic.” Nir Eisikovits

"No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man." Unknown, probably ancient Greek

"Prosperity is more than an economic condition; it is a state of mind." Frederick Lewis Allen

"When you deal with the same dogs, you're going to end up with the same fleas.” Jamie Court, president of the California-based group Consumer Watchdog

"The law, in its majesty, forbids the rich as well as the poor from sleeping under bridges." Unknown

“Often, crazy things seem normal for a time because logical catastrophes do not immediately follow.” Victor Davis Hanson

“If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport.” Richard ‘Old Man’ Harrison

"Bad ideas work their way back to worse premises." Daniel Greenfield

"If God were good, He would wish to make His creatures perfectly happy, and if God were almighty, He would be able to do what He wished. But the creatures are not happy. Therefore God lacks either goodness, or power, or both." C.S. Lewis, from his book "The Problem of Pain"

“The benefit of character-building experiences is right there in the name. For when everything is great all of the time, it can lead to thinking and behaviors that are frivolous, inattentive and careless. It can also encourage inappropriate risk taking. But when you go through a difficult, challenging, or just plain awful experience in life, it impacts you in a deeply ingrained way that often leads to greater seriousness, thoughtfulness, and prudence. And it also fosters greater resolve and determination to overcome the various obstacles that are inevitably thrown in our path along the way. Character-building experiences are not fun. Instead, they are hard and painful. But the grit and determination that we gain from battling through these experiences help make us stronger.” Eric Parnell, CFA