Gender attraction versus how you dress
I found an interesting question by HaleyO on the Fetlife website. She wrote:
Does the gender you are attracted to change when you are dressed?
I love women and am attracted to all things feminine and love hetro sex and have a great sex life with my spouse. I can recognize a guy as being āhandsomeā but I donāt find them attractive. But when I dress it is like a switch is flipped and I crave cock and want to be a pleaser and get topped and show off. These feelings and cravings last until I switch back to my regular clothes or cum. Iām just wondering if anyone else experienced this? Or am I alone?
JenniferLong (also on Fetlife) responded:
This question comes up often enough that it really belongs in a sticky.
In a nutshell, for those who feel this way, it works like this
It starts with a fetish for feeling and seeing the self as feminine / female. You naturally seek out things that enhance that feeling. For some reason, likely porn viewing habits, the idea of sexual acts with men becomes one of those things; it enhances the sense of feeling female (and thus, erotic intensity).
You start to seek it out, first as more porn and (for some), and later (for others), engaging in those acts with men. It's kind of fascinating; your fetish has nothing to do with men. It has everything to do with getting turned on by yourself as female / feminine. Men and acts with men are simply fuel for the fetish fire.
In essence, the acts you imagine increase what you eroticize; feeling like a sexy woman. Post orgasm, the desire evaporates.
It's one of the reasons so many with this fetish don't care what cock they're sucking or who's cock they have in them. The cock doesn't matter. The man doesn't matter. All that matters is the quest for the sexual high of satisfying a fetish for being your own fantasy girl.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with any of this provided you don't mislead or hurt somebody in the process. Understanding the source of the desire can help inform your choices.
Does the gender you are attracted to change when you are dressed?
I love women and am attracted to all things feminine and love hetro sex and have a great sex life with my spouse. I can recognize a guy as being āhandsomeā but I donāt find them attractive. But when I dress it is like a switch is flipped and I crave cock and want to be a pleaser and get topped and show off. These feelings and cravings last until I switch back to my regular clothes or cum. Iām just wondering if anyone else experienced this? Or am I alone?
JenniferLong (also on Fetlife) responded:
This question comes up often enough that it really belongs in a sticky.
In a nutshell, for those who feel this way, it works like this
It starts with a fetish for feeling and seeing the self as feminine / female. You naturally seek out things that enhance that feeling. For some reason, likely porn viewing habits, the idea of sexual acts with men becomes one of those things; it enhances the sense of feeling female (and thus, erotic intensity).
You start to seek it out, first as more porn and (for some), and later (for others), engaging in those acts with men. It's kind of fascinating; your fetish has nothing to do with men. It has everything to do with getting turned on by yourself as female / feminine. Men and acts with men are simply fuel for the fetish fire.
In essence, the acts you imagine increase what you eroticize; feeling like a sexy woman. Post orgasm, the desire evaporates.
It's one of the reasons so many with this fetish don't care what cock they're sucking or who's cock they have in them. The cock doesn't matter. The man doesn't matter. All that matters is the quest for the sexual high of satisfying a fetish for being your own fantasy girl.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with any of this provided you don't mislead or hurt somebody in the process. Understanding the source of the desire can help inform your choices.
5 years ago
