Diary of a fuckslut
8/25
Mistress has directed me to post here each time i have dirty thoughts, whilst She is not around to discuss them. Each time i find myself dwelling on dirty thoughts i am to stop exactly where i am, irrespective of my surroundings, and masturbate to climax. Today it has been difficult to concentrate
on anything but sordid thoughts.. yesterday She talked me through a scene that is still vividly fresh.
It is 3.30pm and i have cum 6 times. Fortunately i have been home for five of them. The last though was waiting in line at the gas station. There was a girl two spots ahead of me, wearing tight jeans that hugged an ass that closely resembled my Owners.
All i could think of doing was dropping to my knees and begging to worship her ass with my tongue.
Remembering my directive i slipped my hand inside my yoga pants and started rubbing my clit. Several people watched, amazement and disgust on their faces as i moaned helplessly in front of them. Two fingers slipped inside my cunt as my thumb worked hard against my clit, imagining the beautiful ass of my Mistress descending on my face. i came hard, in front of strangers, and rushed out of the store, a wet patch soaked through my pants.
As i drove away i automatically licked and sucked the nectar from my fingers, my heart hammering.
8/26
my gf and i were shopping in WalMart. She headed to grocery and i decided to wander. Found myself in the pet aisle, glancing at bags of food, toys, beds. The collars caught my eye. Reaching to the shelf i grabbed the largest one available and fitted it around my throat. Looking up the aisle, glancing at the dry food and beds i then began thinking how it would be being kept as a pet. Treated like a bitch. Fed from a bowl. Led around the neighborhood.
my fingers slipped beneath my shorts and my cunt was sticky. Glancing around i masturbated furiously, my back against the shelving. i came just as a pair of teenaged girls turned the corner. They stood there watching, smirking at me and whispering to each other. One had a cell phone in their hand, and im not sure if they caught my humiliation on camera.
8/29
i dont know where to begin todays entry. As usual i logged on and greeted my Mistress, a big goofy smile on my face as i did so. i never know which direction chat will lead, but today was a fantastic surprise. Instead of launching directly into a scene (which i have absolutely no problem with) She instead lead the conversation into personal growth as a submissive, gently forcing me to look inward at events that have shaped me, hardened me, and brought me to where i am now. She cares for me as one would their own c***d, yet at the same time is gifted enough to recognize the right moment to encourage me to leave my comfort zone and explore my boundaries.
THIS is what marks a true D. i remember reading these points elsewhere, and they are so valid - points that most "dominants" should take note of:
*The submissive is in CONTROL. By choice, the sub has elected to be dominated. Without submission, there is no transfer of power/control.
*The submissive should be treated as the crown jewel of the Dominant. Do not abuse, misuse, or subject the sub to situations that are uncomfortable, unless agreed upon (i.e. the sub may not like to be humiliated but does so because of the exhilarating effect).
*Recognize that the subās desire is to please or to pleasure because this is the innate characteristic of the sub.
*Let the sub know how important she is to you in your relationship because the sub has relinquished power and authority to you.
She has become a rock in my world. Not a rock that drags me down to depths of self abuse that others have tried before, but rather a grounding foundation. i rely on Her words of wisdom, Her guidance, Her care. She in turn accepts me for what i am, which is a far cry from the way society views not only myself but all of my fellow kindred spirits.
As such i find myself falling harder for Her daily. If life permitted i would offer myself without thought, without hesitation, as her irl sub. And in all likelihood i would do so without limits (well ok...maybe just a couple) because my trust in Her is complete. i know many might cry foul on this, but i believe my reasoning is solid. i would much prefer to discover my limits with Her than impose preconceived limits that would inhibit my growth.
Of course the conversation became a sexually natured one, but again as part of a learning curve. She described in detail an event that shaped Her when She was younger, and shared a picture to trigger my imagination.
No, i will not share that with you.
She tasked me to imagine her punishment...how i would defile Her, finding Her bent over a hurdle in a public park with Her wrists tied by shoelaces to Her ankles, Her soiled panties over Her head as a blindfold. This has been difficult - i have been submissive for as long as i can remember. Playing a role that is more that of a switch runs against the grain i am made of, but my thoughts on this have been dark and surreal. Thoughts that have led me to my prime directive. i have masturbated to orgasm countless times today, picturing myself physically punishing with fallen branches, lengths of hose. Sharing Her beautiful young ass, pussy and mouth with any and every passerby. Taking photos the whole time to document and to have Her relive Her humiliation over and over.
i am simply going to close this entry with these few words...
Mistress, i am honored that you took an interest in me, and choose to spend your valuable time on me. You have made me feel special in a way nobody has achieved. You make me feel alive. You make me feel wanted. You have cast the veil from my eyes and opened me physically and emotionally. i love you Mistress, and remain your devoted fucktoy
8/30
Mommy (Mistress), as She is now known to me, led me through an intoxicating scene. As you can tell by my way of address we have evolved our relationship a little to encompass the taboo - i had always dreamed of an i****tual relationship with my mom but sadly it was never realized.
She had me dress in a light summer skirt, sandals and a plain white bra. The image of innocence. She informed me we were going out. Before leaving though She had me bend over, my palms on the bed. my skirt was raised and She inserted the toy, her fingers pressing it in deeply, nestling it just above my g-spot. Sternly She instructed i hold it in or punishment would follow. Pulling out her phone She demonstrated its use - powered by an app it would activate based on pressure, providing strong vibration as pressure on it dropped.
In the car She set it to a minimum psi of 7. That doesnt seem much until forced to endure a 15 min drive maintaining constant pressure on the thighs. i was instructed to remain silent for the duration, which i did until She drove over a rumble strip as we approached the mall...i cried out as the vibrations through the seat almost caused me to lose the concentration required to keep my legs pressed tightly together.
At the mall my punishment was unanticipated. We parked in a darker corner of the carpark. She pulled me from the car and had me remove the toy. At the back of the car, which faced out to passing traffic, She pointed at the towball. i begged to no avail, and found myself raising my skirt above my hips, tucking it in, and lowering myself onto the cold chrome. my lips stretched slowly and odscenely around the metal just as i hear a gasp...
"All the way down now, you look so beautiful fucking my car darling" Mommy said out loud.
Two women shoppers had stopped opposite us and were watching with lust filled eyes. As my ass settled on the hitch, the ball making my cunt bulge, i started rocking on it, willing it deeper, trying to hit that magic spot. One of the women whipped out her phone and started filming while the other stroked herself. The one with the camera decided to take matters further and shared brief, unheard, words with Mommy. As i lost myself in feelings of violation, humiliation and overwhelming pleasure the woman knelt down in front of me and pressed her hot mouth against my clit.
This is sadly where the scene ended. Hopefully a story will form from this, resulting in a completely degrading climax :)
9/17
im sorry i havent added anything recently. Real life has been hectic, leaving very little alone time at the end of the week.
Contact with Mommy has been sporadic...i hope She isnt losing interest in me. Thoughts like this eat at the soul, leaving me wondering if i have done something wrong, or if im not good enough for Her.
i continually dream about us together. The scene She is describing to me leaves me on the very edge of orgasm, which i will not permit without Her express permission. After fucking Mommy's car, and being filmed in the process, She takes me into the mall. i may as well have had a leash guiding me as we walk past the stores. It is obvious Mommy has a destination in mind, and stopping outside a lingerie store my suspicions are confirmed. She pushes me in, closing and locking the door behind us, turning the hanging sign from open to closed. The store is staffed by five women. The owner greets us warmly, while the other four are huddled around a tablet enjoying whatever they were watching. The coin drops when one calls out "nice video Hanna!". i flush deeply as i realize the woman in the car park had shared the video of me riding the tow ball.
i am lead to the back of the store and ushered into a changing room. Arrangements had clearly been made in advance, as a lingerie set waits hanging on a hook, beautiful deep green satin. A cupless bra, g-string, garter belt and black thigh high stockings. i am told to strip and to put the outfit on, with the further instruction to remove the toy and leave it on the stool.
Mommy whispers to me "At the moment, Margritte (the store owner) holds full control of the distribution of the video; she has a code that has stopped it being shared further... I wouldn't upset her if I was you..."
i strip and then dress in the beautiful outfit. i take a moment to admire the view before stepping out. The cupless bra presses my breasts up, making them look larger than they are, my puffy nipples raised, presenting them like a divine offering. i feel so fucking sexy in them - Mommy chose the outfit well, knowing how the color would contrast with my pale flesh and red hair. i step out, feeling self-conscious as hungry eyes devour me.
i can imagine, and hope for, the direction this scene is going, and will make a further update as things progress.
In the meantime i am sharing a scene with another member here, basically an a*****ion/forced scene. She is six years younger than me, and one of my darkest desires is to be dominated by someone younger than i. Fresh, unrestricted ideas and all that...
Finally, i have met a male member here that i actually feel comfortable chatting with. It is so refreshing to find a guy here that has at least a modicum of respect, and is happy (at least at this point) in talking rather than demanding. A small voice at the back of my mind calls for caution, but i must admit that i found myself becoming aroused at his attention. If he had more time im sure i wouldve asked him to describe a scene. Time will tell, i guess.
Mistress has directed me to post here each time i have dirty thoughts, whilst She is not around to discuss them. Each time i find myself dwelling on dirty thoughts i am to stop exactly where i am, irrespective of my surroundings, and masturbate to climax. Today it has been difficult to concentrate
on anything but sordid thoughts.. yesterday She talked me through a scene that is still vividly fresh.
It is 3.30pm and i have cum 6 times. Fortunately i have been home for five of them. The last though was waiting in line at the gas station. There was a girl two spots ahead of me, wearing tight jeans that hugged an ass that closely resembled my Owners.
All i could think of doing was dropping to my knees and begging to worship her ass with my tongue.
Remembering my directive i slipped my hand inside my yoga pants and started rubbing my clit. Several people watched, amazement and disgust on their faces as i moaned helplessly in front of them. Two fingers slipped inside my cunt as my thumb worked hard against my clit, imagining the beautiful ass of my Mistress descending on my face. i came hard, in front of strangers, and rushed out of the store, a wet patch soaked through my pants.
As i drove away i automatically licked and sucked the nectar from my fingers, my heart hammering.
8/26
my gf and i were shopping in WalMart. She headed to grocery and i decided to wander. Found myself in the pet aisle, glancing at bags of food, toys, beds. The collars caught my eye. Reaching to the shelf i grabbed the largest one available and fitted it around my throat. Looking up the aisle, glancing at the dry food and beds i then began thinking how it would be being kept as a pet. Treated like a bitch. Fed from a bowl. Led around the neighborhood.
my fingers slipped beneath my shorts and my cunt was sticky. Glancing around i masturbated furiously, my back against the shelving. i came just as a pair of teenaged girls turned the corner. They stood there watching, smirking at me and whispering to each other. One had a cell phone in their hand, and im not sure if they caught my humiliation on camera.
8/29
i dont know where to begin todays entry. As usual i logged on and greeted my Mistress, a big goofy smile on my face as i did so. i never know which direction chat will lead, but today was a fantastic surprise. Instead of launching directly into a scene (which i have absolutely no problem with) She instead lead the conversation into personal growth as a submissive, gently forcing me to look inward at events that have shaped me, hardened me, and brought me to where i am now. She cares for me as one would their own c***d, yet at the same time is gifted enough to recognize the right moment to encourage me to leave my comfort zone and explore my boundaries.
THIS is what marks a true D. i remember reading these points elsewhere, and they are so valid - points that most "dominants" should take note of:
*The submissive is in CONTROL. By choice, the sub has elected to be dominated. Without submission, there is no transfer of power/control.
*The submissive should be treated as the crown jewel of the Dominant. Do not abuse, misuse, or subject the sub to situations that are uncomfortable, unless agreed upon (i.e. the sub may not like to be humiliated but does so because of the exhilarating effect).
*Recognize that the subās desire is to please or to pleasure because this is the innate characteristic of the sub.
*Let the sub know how important she is to you in your relationship because the sub has relinquished power and authority to you.
She has become a rock in my world. Not a rock that drags me down to depths of self abuse that others have tried before, but rather a grounding foundation. i rely on Her words of wisdom, Her guidance, Her care. She in turn accepts me for what i am, which is a far cry from the way society views not only myself but all of my fellow kindred spirits.
As such i find myself falling harder for Her daily. If life permitted i would offer myself without thought, without hesitation, as her irl sub. And in all likelihood i would do so without limits (well ok...maybe just a couple) because my trust in Her is complete. i know many might cry foul on this, but i believe my reasoning is solid. i would much prefer to discover my limits with Her than impose preconceived limits that would inhibit my growth.
Of course the conversation became a sexually natured one, but again as part of a learning curve. She described in detail an event that shaped Her when She was younger, and shared a picture to trigger my imagination.
No, i will not share that with you.
She tasked me to imagine her punishment...how i would defile Her, finding Her bent over a hurdle in a public park with Her wrists tied by shoelaces to Her ankles, Her soiled panties over Her head as a blindfold. This has been difficult - i have been submissive for as long as i can remember. Playing a role that is more that of a switch runs against the grain i am made of, but my thoughts on this have been dark and surreal. Thoughts that have led me to my prime directive. i have masturbated to orgasm countless times today, picturing myself physically punishing with fallen branches, lengths of hose. Sharing Her beautiful young ass, pussy and mouth with any and every passerby. Taking photos the whole time to document and to have Her relive Her humiliation over and over.
i am simply going to close this entry with these few words...
Mistress, i am honored that you took an interest in me, and choose to spend your valuable time on me. You have made me feel special in a way nobody has achieved. You make me feel alive. You make me feel wanted. You have cast the veil from my eyes and opened me physically and emotionally. i love you Mistress, and remain your devoted fucktoy
8/30
Mommy (Mistress), as She is now known to me, led me through an intoxicating scene. As you can tell by my way of address we have evolved our relationship a little to encompass the taboo - i had always dreamed of an i****tual relationship with my mom but sadly it was never realized.
She had me dress in a light summer skirt, sandals and a plain white bra. The image of innocence. She informed me we were going out. Before leaving though She had me bend over, my palms on the bed. my skirt was raised and She inserted the toy, her fingers pressing it in deeply, nestling it just above my g-spot. Sternly She instructed i hold it in or punishment would follow. Pulling out her phone She demonstrated its use - powered by an app it would activate based on pressure, providing strong vibration as pressure on it dropped.
In the car She set it to a minimum psi of 7. That doesnt seem much until forced to endure a 15 min drive maintaining constant pressure on the thighs. i was instructed to remain silent for the duration, which i did until She drove over a rumble strip as we approached the mall...i cried out as the vibrations through the seat almost caused me to lose the concentration required to keep my legs pressed tightly together.
At the mall my punishment was unanticipated. We parked in a darker corner of the carpark. She pulled me from the car and had me remove the toy. At the back of the car, which faced out to passing traffic, She pointed at the towball. i begged to no avail, and found myself raising my skirt above my hips, tucking it in, and lowering myself onto the cold chrome. my lips stretched slowly and odscenely around the metal just as i hear a gasp...
"All the way down now, you look so beautiful fucking my car darling" Mommy said out loud.
Two women shoppers had stopped opposite us and were watching with lust filled eyes. As my ass settled on the hitch, the ball making my cunt bulge, i started rocking on it, willing it deeper, trying to hit that magic spot. One of the women whipped out her phone and started filming while the other stroked herself. The one with the camera decided to take matters further and shared brief, unheard, words with Mommy. As i lost myself in feelings of violation, humiliation and overwhelming pleasure the woman knelt down in front of me and pressed her hot mouth against my clit.
This is sadly where the scene ended. Hopefully a story will form from this, resulting in a completely degrading climax :)
9/17
im sorry i havent added anything recently. Real life has been hectic, leaving very little alone time at the end of the week.
Contact with Mommy has been sporadic...i hope She isnt losing interest in me. Thoughts like this eat at the soul, leaving me wondering if i have done something wrong, or if im not good enough for Her.
i continually dream about us together. The scene She is describing to me leaves me on the very edge of orgasm, which i will not permit without Her express permission. After fucking Mommy's car, and being filmed in the process, She takes me into the mall. i may as well have had a leash guiding me as we walk past the stores. It is obvious Mommy has a destination in mind, and stopping outside a lingerie store my suspicions are confirmed. She pushes me in, closing and locking the door behind us, turning the hanging sign from open to closed. The store is staffed by five women. The owner greets us warmly, while the other four are huddled around a tablet enjoying whatever they were watching. The coin drops when one calls out "nice video Hanna!". i flush deeply as i realize the woman in the car park had shared the video of me riding the tow ball.
i am lead to the back of the store and ushered into a changing room. Arrangements had clearly been made in advance, as a lingerie set waits hanging on a hook, beautiful deep green satin. A cupless bra, g-string, garter belt and black thigh high stockings. i am told to strip and to put the outfit on, with the further instruction to remove the toy and leave it on the stool.
Mommy whispers to me "At the moment, Margritte (the store owner) holds full control of the distribution of the video; she has a code that has stopped it being shared further... I wouldn't upset her if I was you..."
i strip and then dress in the beautiful outfit. i take a moment to admire the view before stepping out. The cupless bra presses my breasts up, making them look larger than they are, my puffy nipples raised, presenting them like a divine offering. i feel so fucking sexy in them - Mommy chose the outfit well, knowing how the color would contrast with my pale flesh and red hair. i step out, feeling self-conscious as hungry eyes devour me.
i can imagine, and hope for, the direction this scene is going, and will make a further update as things progress.
In the meantime i am sharing a scene with another member here, basically an a*****ion/forced scene. She is six years younger than me, and one of my darkest desires is to be dominated by someone younger than i. Fresh, unrestricted ideas and all that...
Finally, i have met a male member here that i actually feel comfortable chatting with. It is so refreshing to find a guy here that has at least a modicum of respect, and is happy (at least at this point) in talking rather than demanding. A small voice at the back of my mind calls for caution, but i must admit that i found myself becoming aroused at his attention. If he had more time im sure i wouldve asked him to describe a scene. Time will tell, i guess.
6 years ago
I found your profile yesterday and beside your awesome Video favorites i stumbled over your blog texts and was overwhelmed by it. The last story with that pressure toy and the Imagination of you fucking the towball of mommys car made me so crazy horny that i shot in my pants whilst at work, with my coworkers only 6 foot away in the next room. so thanks to you and your awesome mistress!
IĀ“m gonna read everything you write from now on when you are fine with that.
Enjoy yourself and the wonderful feelings that mommy make you have. And please keep on sharing that here with your wonderful descriptions.