Self Doubt :Breakup Aftermath

so as life rolls along , questions arise of the should haves and web of guilt seems to in case me in guilt and some shame.As this goes on in my head i am trying so hard to maintain my composure with my family as , the stresses and up and downs of single parenting with 3 k**s with 0 breaks its on all the time.

So any type of alone time is fleeting and treasured and any time i get where i can chill momentary with any of my great and amazing ,Beautiful friends is welcomed at any point.I love the fact that we are closer as a family unit it does get very tedious and nerve wracking trying to remember what day it is let alone what everybody schedule is , I take my hat of to all the single moms who are doing this alone as this is an unreal road to forge your own path ,maybe i just need to figure out how to get this family working well like a well oiled machine,and time management.

So ya a vacation is what it feels like i need..and time for my brain to catch up to the where i am at and the page i am on,because each day is so different from the other ,Up & down ...Good & Bad
Sad & Happy ...Love & Hate ...Denial & acceptance...ect...but this is a massive learning curve that i will figure out one of these days i bet theres a system that so easy that i am missing, i know it lol .... knowing my luck, just havent found it yet