1. The REAL First Time I Decided to Dress

When I was 12.........I thought something wasn.t quite right.

Its difficult to put into words..

I had heard stories at school, something about not being born right?..
and as you know k**s think differently about things any way.......

So I decided to act on the stories.

I asked my dad if I could see my birth certificate.....I made up some rubbish for the reason (he wasn't too pleased about it though).

He got the certificate out and showed me.

looking at it, I made some comment for cover.....

I had seen what I had wanted.

Walking away, I said thank you and went to my bedroom....

I cried and cried.....

It had said

boy

I just was amazed and couldn't sort it out in my mind....

The next few days.....It got to me....and I thought ......NO.........its got to be wrong, or somethings just not right with it.

So I made plans to experiment for the future.

I saved all my pocket money /birthday /xmas money.....

But so nothing was suspected, I still bought my comic and sweets.

When I was 14 I wrote a small list out and went to Lincoln with my parents.......
They went normal household shopping, I said I was going to Boots and Ruddock's (they sold records etc. then)

I actually went opposite to 2 women's shops and Mawer and Collinghams, with my list. I went to the lingerie department and asked a lady asistant for help...

Showing the list of things that my "girlfriend" had dared me to get for her.
I had written down knickers, stockings, belt, and bra, suggested makes also sizes and colour black

I had prices in mind but I was lucky with the prices

When I put them on ..............it wasn't a fetish thing not that I knew that word anyway.

It just felt natural.

I had a hell of a time hiding the things. I wrapped them in my normal clothes and had to make sure I kept all my 3 drawers in 6 drawer chest spotless so mum would just leave well alone.

In the next 2 years until I started work I kept check on club books keeping an eye on female fashion, making notes of what worked with what...

I as all youngsters started on a low wage..
but I didn't want to buy cheap as I had started with nice things Wonderbra, and other known makes.

To still cover myself I bought my comic and sweets and still put a little money on 1 side for renewing MY lingerie.

I again hit on an idea, to help make things a little more affordable.....

That was going to be around my 16th birthday.........and would change the way I thought from then on.

But sadly something was about to happen a few weeks before my 16th that nearly finished me off as a person.

all i will say on it here is that i ran into HATE.....in a bad way........it changed my life.

Trouble is so many bad people nothing happens too them........mores the pity