Sexual enhancement for over 50's - Part 2

The Role of Fantasy… a Key to Enhanced Sexual Expression and Pleasure

We need to start with male fantasy and gain a core understanding of what goes on with the male libido. From an evolutionary standpoint, the primary function of men generally speaking and male sexuality in particular is to find cunt, subdue it, get our cocks up, in and off – preferably in that order. Pursuit (finding pussy and holding it – delaying, distracting, immobilizing or enticing it) is a turn on because the next items on the agenda are all sexual.

Cunt and assholes are the same thing. Soft, lubricated, throbbing and ready to be filled. The act of pursuit is gratifying and arousing part of sex for men and it is motivated by fantasies of what is next on the agenda. This step is an important one and skipping it diminishes subsequent sexual activity. Whether it consists of a “hot look across a room”, tying wrists and ankles to the bedposts, wrestling prey to the floor or simply pining ones quarry down on the mattress – all are a turn on to both predator and prey alike. If one can introduce sexual enticement to the equation, to still opposition, all the better.

On the other side of the equation… the “subordinate male” submits, relinquishes, lets go of responsibility and succumbs to pleasure. The delightful task of letting go of inhibitions and submission to inner sexual urges. If you’re the bottom, you can just let go and let pleasure consume your better judgement. Pleasing another male, feeling his sexual excitement eclipse his hesitancy or embarrassment…. to watch his urgency… to get on with a sex act, has its own enticements.

Having those urges and desires to ‘plant seed’ is hot too. Men removed from their reproductive responsibilities can let their hair down and truly enjoy their sexual urges. To hell with “territorial imperatives” and “lifting legs on fire hydrants.” “Marking” is no longer necessary when men love and appreciate men. However “marking” (to indicate male possession and confirm conquest) is significant for both the winner and the vanquished. Consequently the popularity of giving (and receiving) “facials.”

Male sex for and with like kinds is immensely powerful and exhilarating.

Bondage, humiliation, gentle violations of personal boundaries all feed into these basic fantasies that are key to gaining sexual arousal of both male partners. Tying one up gives permission to the bound one let go of responsibility, of guilt or shame and allows a full expression of sexuality (or a high level of sexual frustration) all based in being helpless. For the free person their mind can explore being in complete control of sexual activity of two men. To dominate, control, to initiate, to violate and ultimately to incapacitate, fertilize and then to release. This is natures way, in its rawest terms.

Holding a guy close to your chest, looking deeply into his eyes and fondling his sex violates boundaries, weaves with sexual pleasure and exposure and intimacy in a powerful way. So does prostate massage. You feel the warmth of ass surround your finger, he’s embarrassed that you’re in there. Both know you have taken possession of his sexual response and can make him cum hard and fast in a very short time. You have taken control of his body and he has to let go. And you explore that idea as you look into each others eyes. This is just one dimension of sexual fantasy of and between males. . .

Fantasy related to dominance and submission is an important dimension of sexuality. Being “in charge” or “not in charge” comes with a variety of reinforcements. In charge (Top) responsibilities do not necessarily mean that you have the role or “catcher” or “pitcher” but very much involve responsibility for what happens next… of being in control of the sexual agenda. You could, for example be literally on the “bottom” with a hard cock in your mouth or ass… but exercising control of advance to climax and, ultimately achievement of orgasm of your partner. As such you would be the “Top”. A Top doesn’t necessarily cum first but he does control the action and makes the decisions. He is also more likely to offer creative or innovative new directions for sexual activity and he is usually the one to suggest (or sometimes experiments) by demanding boundary extensions .

Much of male fantasy involves being “receptive” of taking a subordinate or submissive role. Often the female role of receiving the other males seed forms a major mental construct. This may include within the context of massive male pleasure of the Top male, reproductive elements. Taking his life force from between his legs, neutralizing his masculinity even getting pregnant and having his baby. All are legitimate fantasies, in spite of the having no chance of fulfillment in reality. The ultimate expression of submission is opening ones body, whichever orifice is offered, to accept and keep within the seed of another male. The final moments leading up to ejaculation, when the males cock stiffens, breathing becomes irregular as pleasure overwhelms the nervous system and the erethra, peritenum and anal sphincter violently throb as cum spurts into the recipients mouth or ass or onto his belly are exhilarating moments. Even semen leaking down one’s thighs following intercourse is gratifying as evidence that the deed is done. Evidence that the dominant male has spent all his sexual energy and now needs rest.

You ask the question “Why is it important to many males to give or receive seed and have the “catcher” swallow?”. Or “Why is it so appealing to fuck bare?” … in view of the risks? It is not the very slight reduction in sensual pleasure that makes some men throw caution to the wind. Men do this in response to a deep primal need take in seed into each other’s bodies. This is a procreational behavior forced on us through evolution. It feels real good.

All these things are possible. Flashes back and forth of being the Top and the being the Bottom are possible. Indeed fantasy role reversals between two males is possible and can happen multiple times in a sexual encounter. It is significantly more powerful if each can sense the changed fantasy of the other and switch to the complementary role. Two males are in a high level of intimacy when they have achieved this level of mutual perception and understanding.

Another major dimension of male sexual fantasy is Inversion. This is where you experience the pleasure of the other person as you imagine yourself being the other and he being you. These fantasies are often strengthened verbally by statements describing the pleasure or thoughts of the other person in their stead. “Oh that cock feels stiff in your mouth. That cum is going to melt in your mouth. You want it so bad . . .”

Guys love to watch themselves ejaculate. Watch porno. Guys open their eyes and watch their seed squirt out of their cocks when they cum. They’ve been doing it since they first jerked off at 13. There is a powerful conditioned pleasure hit in watching a cock cumming. Watching or feeling another guys cock stiffen or prostate swell followed by gushing sperm, a throbbing peritoneum or anal sphincter in another guy is easy to fantasize as happening to you. When you have male-male sex, you get to “cum twice.” Being physically close a spewing penis or feeling an asshole throbbing on your finger is very intimate, powerful and satisfying.

The key to maximizing sexual pleasure is to first recognize these male fantasies as legitimate and to cultivate them and share them verbally in advance with your partner. In doing so you can each discover what really enhances sexual pleasure for the other and to begin to work on sexual scripts to follow that will intensify and ultimately satisfy each partner sexually. It can include can verbal components, impact roles and sexual positions, timing, who cums first. This can lead to intense, longer term relationships and special moments – like simultaneous orgasm. It can also lead to longer individual sex sessions.

If your M-M sex feels like “Jerk off sessions” when you were 14… if the elapsed time of your sex sessions is 15 minutes or your idea of extended sexual encounters is “edging” …. reflect on what has said here. Consider the legitimacy of the statement, “What happens between your ears is equally important as what happens between your legs.”

In actually fact, what is happening upstairs is MORE IMPORTANT than what’s going on in the boiler room.