How cute. You think you're unique!

Just FYI, I'm a veteran MMO player. I've cut my teeth handling internet conversations with some of the most self-centered and stupid people imaginable. So, as I started writing this, I actually decided to go through my messages and take an accurate count.

I have exactly 178 different users in my message inbox. 12 of those are women/couples. The other 166; all men. Out of those 166 messages from men, only 9 of them are actual, real, decent, mostly non-sexual conversations. The other 157 are men asking for skype, some other C2C, cybersex, phone sex, or a "discreet" hookup (read as; "I'm cheating on my wife"... douchebag much?).

What is it about guys who think that they're the only one who has the idea of propositioning a woman to either fuck them, or at the very least assist in their masturbation? I mean, do you honestly think that your message is the only one that a woman has in her inbox asking for sexual activity??

It gets slightly more stupid.

See, I've been browsing internet porn and enjoying the benefits of "adult" social networking (i.e. porn) for nearly 10 years. I'm no stranger to guys asking for sex/masturbation. I get it. I have a vagina, so it comes with the territory. And as long as guys get erections, I don't see it letting up anytime soon. So, it really doesn't bother me too much. Unless the message is some twisted sexual assault scenario, or the delusional daydreams of an e-stalker, I usually just ignore them and move on.

But, here's what bugs me...

When a guy has no profile pic, no description in his "about me" section, no "favorites", no uploaded photos, and no video content, at what point does he think he's selling himself well? Honestly, boys... In the highly-unlikely event that I decide to engage in casual sex or mutual masturbation with someone, you're in direct competition with 156 other men at this point. One of whom is a deliciously cute Canadian who dresses fantastically, and one of whom has a dick the size of a freight train (which, although guaranteed to virtually kill me and turn my vagina into mulch, is still fun to look at). So, when you consider your competition, at what point do you think your useless, content-free, virtually non-existent profile is going to help your cause?!

I mean, honestly. What's your ideal fucking scenario here??

"Oh, baby. Nothing makes me wetter than a screen name like HardRoughCockMeat420Blazin. Did I mention that there's nothing more arousing than having absolutely no idea what you look like, no idea what kind of person you are, and no idea what you're into? Oh, baby. I'm about to cream my panties right now thinking about this random message from an individual completely devoid of identity who's propositioning me for sex! To hell with cute Canadian, and to hell with monster cock! I'm all yours, Mr. invisible blank slate!"

(seriously, that monster cock guy's dick is so big, it has its own dick; and chances are that dick is still bigger than yours)

But I digress. The point is, if you're going to waste my time, and yours, in a feeble attempt to get me to do anything with you (which I can almost guarantee isn't going to happen), you might as well bring your fucking A-Game. But this half-assed, obviously mass-messaged, copy/pasted attempt to garner attention is a joke.

/endrant

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go masturbate to a picture of a cute Canadian in an amazingly cute tie.
Published by hollypetite
8 years ago
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DimJandy
This is brilliant :
"...seriously, that monster cock guy's dick is so big, it has its own dick; and chances are that dick is still bigger than yours."
You write very well, and you're funny! In the most respectful way of course.
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matureBBWlover00
matureBBWlover00 8 years ago
How many of the 12 couples were really couples? I bet at least half of those were men posing as couples. Think about the logic you put into your argument, then realize how batshit out of control most men are after jerking to porn on here for a couple of hours. Not trying to make excuses, just pointing out a weakness in the male condition, the animalist urgent need to release our seed. It can be a very ugly thing sadly................................
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bigbooblover7788
bigbooblover7788 8 years ago
So very true for most women on here well said
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lyqs2lyq
lyqs2lyq 8 years ago
You're fuckin awesome!
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bigbluewc2000
bigbluewc2000 8 years ago
lol interesting
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Aloneinthedark27
Aloneinthedark27 8 years ago
Love your posts keep up the good work.
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Lezaran
Lezaran 8 years ago
I love reading your blogs, they have a mix of honesty and humor at the same time!
Guys need to fuck to feel loved and girls need to feel loved to fuck is what I think. Im lucky to be gay, theres never a shortage of pervs that want to fuck, the down side being not many could hold an intellectual conversation lol
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