I HIT THE CLEAR ALL BUTTON ON ACCIDENT....again

I did it again. I swear, nothing makes me angrier than hitting the clear all button and erasing 100 requests. This time I had access to one page of requests and I could send those people an 'I'm dumb, I hit clear all, invite me again message.' I felt like adding 'this is the second time in a little over a week that I hit that fucking button.' I know what the problem is. I just started using a new cordless mouse. It's better than whatever you call the scrolling pad gimmick.on my laptop. I'm ignorant when it comes to electronics. My mouse is above my technical skills. I'm 33 year's old and I can't use a mouse. The damn thing has a hair pin trigger. By the time I learn how to use it I'm bound to break it.

To make the situation more amusing this wretched mouse came with a keyboard. I was so excited. I ruin keyboards like every three months. I am really stupid if I use the one on my laptop. I always thought smoking and typing way more than a normal person broke my keyboards. I took the new one out of the box. It was like magic. It was amazing to have a working shift key. I swear it worked two hours. I didn't even have a cigarette because I rarely smoke. I am positive I didn't spill diet coke on it. Suddenly the letter E was hopelessly jammed. I dug at it with a screw driver. I bitched and moaned like the world was ending. You are fucked without the letter E. I don't know how I break things. I just manage to break anything purchased in the electronics department with shocking regularity.

I don't think these 'I hit the clear all button, again' messages are going to stop anytime soon. I'm making this post so I might as well give anyone who reads this damn blog an update on my health situation. I already have almost every single mental health issue possible. I don't leave my house because I can't drive due to some freaky seizure shit that is related to repressed memories. I'm totally not normal. I swear, I haven't been living under a bridge sharing needles and fucking homeless people and I managed to get a staph infection. It's fucking weird. You can get it from food. However, being shit ass broke means I basically only eat banquet chicken pot pies. I wish I was joking. I have no idea how I ended up with a massive festering boil on my stomach that spread to my leg. I have to laugh about it because I did come home from the hospital and google staph infections.

I guess I'm just lucky because I ended up with some funky off branch of staph that usually only occurs in c***dren. My gigantic boil broke out in blisters that popped and it was terrifying. I read all about it even though the ER doctors had never seen it before. I am so not a beautiful woman with a normal life. What I discovered on the web was freaky. When the blisters popped I lost a layer of skin and the wounded infection area was like a really bad burn. I could gross you out really bad with details. I am ignorant and I let my body go into septic shock trying to make it to the disability hearing I've waited two years for. I read online how I was supposed to seek immediate medical attention if dark red lines appeared. I got half way through nursing school. I knew the red lines meant go to the ER. However, that hearing was a big deal and I figured showing up half rotting might be a big help towards earning medicaid.

My mom was way more worried about the hearing than the fact I had gone delusional. She couldn't find the place and it was literally a matter of 'mom, we can't keep doing circles around tampa airport. I think I'm actually dying.' I was such a critical situation in the ER it's amusing. When you go septic from staph your blood pressure drops scary low. That's a weird feeling. It's strangely euphoric. You feel so sleepy. I feel bad for the ER nurses who had no protection. Most people get staph from going to a hospital for another reason. It's a nasty thing that festers and it doesn't die. I had a spectrum of IV antibiotics 24 hours a day for four days.

I think it's vancomyacin.. You don't want to be in a situation where you need that antibiotic. It's so caustic it blows out your veins. They also have to run blood tests for toxicity every four hours. I ended up with teams of people trying to find new veins. Praise jesus, I left nursing school. I could never do what those women and men did to me. I was in isolation and the cultures hadn't come back on my wounds. I think everyone assumed it was mrsa. It was staph.. I will spare you details. If you ever hear the words 'wound care specialist' immediately panic and demand dilaudid. I love d**gs. I was clearly not in my right mind not to demand good d**gs. For some unknown, reason I dealt with the pain. I think it was low blood pressure.

It was no joke about being really fucking sick. That first week home I ate hydrocodone like candy. I have some freaky d**g tolerance issue. The point of this blog is that I'm better. My mom who deserves to be beaten for letting me come so close to dying with 25 year of nursing under her belt, redeemed herself. She is a top notch expert at wound care. I was better off with her than anyone else. She knew the right way to use several ointments. I am healing really fast. It's like a fucking miracle. There is one spot that could land me back in the ER. I will probably have trouble. What is healing will probably scar. I don't care. I lived. Thanks for everyone who was kind enough to say things like feel better soon. I know people probably wondered why I had my status involve sickness so long. I know people probably thought I had the flu or a sinus infection. Talking about staph just makes it sound like I was under the bridge not bathing and eating dumpster food. I wouldn't want anyone to know how bad my wounds really were. I probably won't feel sexy again for about three months.

I'm thinking the troll battle is over. If he messages you just block him. He'll mostly just talk about how fat I am. He doesn't even know any great fat jokes. Damn near every man I'm friends with has a desire for bbw's. I never dreamed it could be so much fun to be fat. I'm about to head to bed. I'll make sure my friend box is pretty close to empty if you still want to be friends knowing I have wounds from an infection usually only contracted by street people. I swear I had to come in contact with it at our discount grocery store. Sometimes I go with my mom when she buys pot pies and generic diet coke with our EBT cards. I do claim homeless to earn more than most people. You really have to love poverty. I go to my rescheduled disability hearing march 10th. I will be so confused when I get a settlement and a monthly check. I'm still going to want to live off pot pies. However, I will be able to afford every vitamin my body has been craving since I started this fight for disability. If I have things like zinc and protein, my body might not be decimated by flesh consuming, antibiotic resistant, infections.