DM Jokes 3
Two men are at the opposite side of the world but are thinking the exact same thing.. One is walking a tightrope between two skysc****rs, the other is having a blowjob from an 85 year old woman...What are they both thinking? Whatever you do Don't look down, just don't look down...
- I'm fed up with the excuses women come out with to avoid having sex, like; "I'm tired, I'm washing my hair, I've got a headache, I'm your sister...
- I once knew a dental nurse who loved giving blow jobs and smoking weed. She was known as oral high Jean.
- A recent survey reported that three quarters of men don't know how to turn on the dish washer. I find that licking her nipples and a light gentle fingering usually does the trick.
- My girlfriend says that a small penis won’t affect our relationship. Whether she's right or not, I'd prefer it if she didn't have one at all!
- A woman is walking down the street and see's a sign in the pet shop window reading, "FANNY LICKING FROG £25" curious the woman proceeds inside and says to the shop keeper, "I'd like to see the fanny licking frog please." To which the shop keeper replies, "Bonjour!"
- I was on a train this morning, in the loo having a shit, when a voice called out "Can I see your ticket please?" "Not right now." I replied, "I'm having a shit." "I don't believe you." Said the voice. "Slide it under the door."
"No probs," I said. "The yellow bits are Sweetcorn!"
- For fuck's sake, what a mess to sort out. I can’t believe I've mixed up their Valentine's cards. The girlfriend thinks I love her and the wife thinks I want to fuck her.
- I'm fed up with the excuses women come out with to avoid having sex, like; "I'm tired, I'm washing my hair, I've got a headache, I'm your sister...
- I once knew a dental nurse who loved giving blow jobs and smoking weed. She was known as oral high Jean.
- A recent survey reported that three quarters of men don't know how to turn on the dish washer. I find that licking her nipples and a light gentle fingering usually does the trick.
- My girlfriend says that a small penis won’t affect our relationship. Whether she's right or not, I'd prefer it if she didn't have one at all!
- A woman is walking down the street and see's a sign in the pet shop window reading, "FANNY LICKING FROG £25" curious the woman proceeds inside and says to the shop keeper, "I'd like to see the fanny licking frog please." To which the shop keeper replies, "Bonjour!"
- I was on a train this morning, in the loo having a shit, when a voice called out "Can I see your ticket please?" "Not right now." I replied, "I'm having a shit." "I don't believe you." Said the voice. "Slide it under the door."
"No probs," I said. "The yellow bits are Sweetcorn!"
- For fuck's sake, what a mess to sort out. I can’t believe I've mixed up their Valentine's cards. The girlfriend thinks I love her and the wife thinks I want to fuck her.
9 years ago