Hesitation

Ive made couple of mistakes over this weekend.
While I was talking to my MASTER my phone rang. We had an agreement that HE wanted to see me fuck myself with my dildo while I was on a phone with somebody. As HE was reminding me of this I told HIM to be quiet.
After I hung up, just the look on HIS face was a clear indicator that I had screwed up big time...
the tone of HIS voice as HE was speaking to me afterwards, I had chills running down my spine, and not cos of pleasure... I felt horrible, felt like I had totally disappointed HIM...

the other day, HE wanted to make another video to our collection.. HE knows I dont like my face shown and HE respects that... as HE told me we were going to make a video, I instantly hesitated and my mood just changed...
HE told me how to cover up my face, and instead of doing it immediately as I should I hesitated...
well this misstep didnt go unnoticed and I got punished for it...
clit on the bottom of my clit is the worst pain possible... thats the kind of pain u cant push through, u cant breath over it, or think about something else and hope it would go away...

So the lesson I had learned over this weekend is> never tell HIM what to do, cos thats not my place... and never hesitate, and trust that HE will make the right decisions for me...

letting go of control seems so hard sometimes, but Im really trying