Kinky Sex Tips: The Wild Side of Masturbation
Just too weird I think but each of their own I suppose
Homemade Sex Doll
Learn how to make your own friends:
Take an old paper towel roll and stick a sandwich bag in it with some lube. Then stuff an old pair of pants and a shirt with any thing to make it look like a person. Stick paper towel roll in the open fly of the 'dummy' and just fuck away! It feels great, and when your done just throw the bag away.
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Mommy, I Wet Myself
Try to get this image out of your head:
I like to put on a cotton diaper and vinyl pants. I wet my diaper and get all warm and wet. Then I lie on my stomach and rock my hard throbbing muscle slowly inside my diaper until I explode with hot cum in my pants. I usually fall asleep like this.
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Put the Tampon Where?
When your girlfriend leaves you, here's a use for all those tampons left in your medicine cabinet:
Stick a tampon up your butt before your start masturbating. Just before you come, stop and pull the string of the tampon really fast. It hurts the first time but then it feels great.
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Not Only Quakers Love Oats
You can save money by buying regular flavor and adding your own brown sugar:
I like to use oatmeal also, but I just use an instant packet. I love using the one with brown sugar. I cook one packet up, and the oatmeal makes an awesome lube, than after I cum, my spew is so sweet from the brown sugar, I just cant help but eat all of it, yumm is it good.
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Bobby Socks
His wife sure is open-minded:
Take a soft ankle-high sock and put it over your hard cock (jizz catcher). Lay your socked-cock on a nice firm pillow, grab another to support your chest, and hump away. If you have a partner it feels great to have them stroke your balls gently from behind as you pump the pillow. My sweet wife talks dirty to me as I imagine I'm doing another woman ... Chills!
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Fill 'er Up
Just be sure to empty it out when you're done:
I like to fill my ass with warm water from an enema hose attached to the faucet, then insert a butt plug to keep it in, and masturbate while a girl watches me.
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Spicy
I wonder if you need to stick a Tums up there afterwards:
I chew on a hot pepper and then stick it up my ass while I jackoff. The burning sensation up my ass feels great.
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Have a seat
Even with the condom, I sure worry about the splinters:
I like my ass penetrated when I jerk off, so I carved a penis out of wood and screwed it down to this old chair I have. Whenever I get horny I put a condom on it and lube up. Before I start to stroke my cock I sit on my wooden dick and start to fuck myself with it while my limp dick bounces around. Once I get hard I stroke to an incredible orgasm. I'm thinking about screwing it to a door jamb so I can get on all fours and do it.
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Vaporized
(Note, this might irritate your anus, proceed with extreme caution.) Get a tube of Vic's. This is used for unblocking noses and can be bought from any pharmacy. Lubricate it with saliva then stick it up your ass. Then sit on a chair and spit down on your dick so it is lubricated. When you cum the feeling is enhanced because of the Vic's.
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Picture perfect
Hold your dick softly. Start rubbing. But before the cum comes out, get the nude picture of a sexy girl and rub using that. Make sure the cum falls on the picture. Then lick your sexy tasting cum. Believe me its fun.
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Panty play
Get a pair of silk women's panties, lay them down on a soft blanket bunched up into a hump. Then, lay your dick on them and pretend you are having sex with the girl. You may need to hold them so your dick stays on the silk. I like to then cum all over the crotch area. I used to do that all the time when I was younger at my aunts house. It works good!!
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Shock me
Get naked, but wear socks, and turn on your computer. Then rub your feet on carpet and touch the screen with your cock. WOWWYYY ZOWWWYYYY!
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Show-off driver
Nothing better then picking up hitch hikers while driving naked. Masturbate to their delight. Even straight guys LIKE watching :) Entering a town or city naked and hard .... is the BEST climax you will ever have!!!
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Dress up time
Get the panties from the woman or girl that you want to have sex with. Get their underwear, get their bras, because all of those have there scent and smell and they wore them before. Get a few blankets and pillows and wrap it up like there is a person on your bed. You wear the panties, the underwear, and the bra. It's great if you have there clothing and shoes as well too. Wear them all and you play around a little while in your room like pretending you are her and talk to the blankets on your bed. As you see you will imagine that you do really look like her because you are wearing her clothing, panties, bra and undies. then next you climb up the bed and lean on the wrap up blankets and pillow, then you do erotic woman moves but your brain thinking of the woman of how she is doing it with you. And you start to act like her wanting to have sex with you badly. you rub against the blankets making noise on the way and slowly taking the clothes off then the panties then the bra then you do more rub, and squeeze and jam it onto the blankets. Do it tight, scream for sex like a woman, then slowly off comes the underwear, then imagine it is the woman's pussy and you push it down to the blankets and rub and fuck. You kiss the blankets too, and keep doing it until you burst your sperms right out.
Homemade Sex Doll
Learn how to make your own friends:
Take an old paper towel roll and stick a sandwich bag in it with some lube. Then stuff an old pair of pants and a shirt with any thing to make it look like a person. Stick paper towel roll in the open fly of the 'dummy' and just fuck away! It feels great, and when your done just throw the bag away.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mommy, I Wet Myself
Try to get this image out of your head:
I like to put on a cotton diaper and vinyl pants. I wet my diaper and get all warm and wet. Then I lie on my stomach and rock my hard throbbing muscle slowly inside my diaper until I explode with hot cum in my pants. I usually fall asleep like this.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Put the Tampon Where?
When your girlfriend leaves you, here's a use for all those tampons left in your medicine cabinet:
Stick a tampon up your butt before your start masturbating. Just before you come, stop and pull the string of the tampon really fast. It hurts the first time but then it feels great.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not Only Quakers Love Oats
You can save money by buying regular flavor and adding your own brown sugar:
I like to use oatmeal also, but I just use an instant packet. I love using the one with brown sugar. I cook one packet up, and the oatmeal makes an awesome lube, than after I cum, my spew is so sweet from the brown sugar, I just cant help but eat all of it, yumm is it good.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bobby Socks
His wife sure is open-minded:
Take a soft ankle-high sock and put it over your hard cock (jizz catcher). Lay your socked-cock on a nice firm pillow, grab another to support your chest, and hump away. If you have a partner it feels great to have them stroke your balls gently from behind as you pump the pillow. My sweet wife talks dirty to me as I imagine I'm doing another woman ... Chills!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fill 'er Up
Just be sure to empty it out when you're done:
I like to fill my ass with warm water from an enema hose attached to the faucet, then insert a butt plug to keep it in, and masturbate while a girl watches me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spicy
I wonder if you need to stick a Tums up there afterwards:
I chew on a hot pepper and then stick it up my ass while I jackoff. The burning sensation up my ass feels great.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have a seat
Even with the condom, I sure worry about the splinters:
I like my ass penetrated when I jerk off, so I carved a penis out of wood and screwed it down to this old chair I have. Whenever I get horny I put a condom on it and lube up. Before I start to stroke my cock I sit on my wooden dick and start to fuck myself with it while my limp dick bounces around. Once I get hard I stroke to an incredible orgasm. I'm thinking about screwing it to a door jamb so I can get on all fours and do it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vaporized
(Note, this might irritate your anus, proceed with extreme caution.) Get a tube of Vic's. This is used for unblocking noses and can be bought from any pharmacy. Lubricate it with saliva then stick it up your ass. Then sit on a chair and spit down on your dick so it is lubricated. When you cum the feeling is enhanced because of the Vic's.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Picture perfect
Hold your dick softly. Start rubbing. But before the cum comes out, get the nude picture of a sexy girl and rub using that. Make sure the cum falls on the picture. Then lick your sexy tasting cum. Believe me its fun.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Panty play
Get a pair of silk women's panties, lay them down on a soft blanket bunched up into a hump. Then, lay your dick on them and pretend you are having sex with the girl. You may need to hold them so your dick stays on the silk. I like to then cum all over the crotch area. I used to do that all the time when I was younger at my aunts house. It works good!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shock me
Get naked, but wear socks, and turn on your computer. Then rub your feet on carpet and touch the screen with your cock. WOWWYYY ZOWWWYYYY!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Show-off driver
Nothing better then picking up hitch hikers while driving naked. Masturbate to their delight. Even straight guys LIKE watching :) Entering a town or city naked and hard .... is the BEST climax you will ever have!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dress up time
Get the panties from the woman or girl that you want to have sex with. Get their underwear, get their bras, because all of those have there scent and smell and they wore them before. Get a few blankets and pillows and wrap it up like there is a person on your bed. You wear the panties, the underwear, and the bra. It's great if you have there clothing and shoes as well too. Wear them all and you play around a little while in your room like pretending you are her and talk to the blankets on your bed. As you see you will imagine that you do really look like her because you are wearing her clothing, panties, bra and undies. then next you climb up the bed and lean on the wrap up blankets and pillow, then you do erotic woman moves but your brain thinking of the woman of how she is doing it with you. And you start to act like her wanting to have sex with you badly. you rub against the blankets making noise on the way and slowly taking the clothes off then the panties then the bra then you do more rub, and squeeze and jam it onto the blankets. Do it tight, scream for sex like a woman, then slowly off comes the underwear, then imagine it is the woman's pussy and you push it down to the blankets and rub and fuck. You kiss the blankets too, and keep doing it until you burst your sperms right out.
14 years ago
