Some bullshit about me..
Hi there
As usual i have dark days. Most of my free time i wonder how the world would looking without me. i`m mostly spending my time dreaming of non existing.
Yes, i have a depression, because once again i was threated like a thing instead of living person,
and yes, she was a girl. i never had a luck to relationship with a girls, i think they feel something is wrong with me. maybe is..
i have a messed up personality, and i`m aware of that. i`m always trying to give them the best of me, and its always ending with my tears, blood, and sorrow. i have too much feelings, and i give it to coldest, selfish and unable to loving me women in my range.
I mean internet, i hadn`t much oportunity to meet a girl in my real life, because im working with male job, with only male crew. but that`s ok, i`ve always been better with writing then talking.
I`ve always been shy, i remember it, when i was a k**, i like to spending my time with myself and my strange plays. I think that`s because my parents doesn`t spending much time with me, i think they was too young , and too much focused on themselfs to see me, and my needs, thats why i wanted to be with my granny and spending my c***dhood with her.
i have a great c***dhood, i`ve always be free,and i was doing what i want to. (even playing with dolls and sometimes dressed with girly clothes). My problems started when i was going to grow up.
I had a big problem when i was discovered my bisexuality. i was shocked when i noticed that i like pretty boys as much as pretty girls, i felt freaky and weird.
My first expierience with girls was a catastrophy. i was shy, and not much talkactive, and realy not a cool guy type. so it was very hard. After few failed try, i was felt with depression and self hatered. After years i was lerned how to treat women but, my overszed feelings always messed it up.
So, finally, i`m looking for a nice guy to love, but i think it`s the just other side of the same medal. i`ll never have a love from man, or woman, because i`m not one of them..
i`m monster and i should die alone..
well i dont know what for i`m writing all of this today, i`m sorry. sometimes i must throw it from myself. and i want to wrote something about myself to people who care about me, i mean on this site. i know that`s unbelivable but i have few here.
maybe if i have a more time i`ll write something else.
Sad Pagan
As usual i have dark days. Most of my free time i wonder how the world would looking without me. i`m mostly spending my time dreaming of non existing.
Yes, i have a depression, because once again i was threated like a thing instead of living person,
and yes, she was a girl. i never had a luck to relationship with a girls, i think they feel something is wrong with me. maybe is..
i have a messed up personality, and i`m aware of that. i`m always trying to give them the best of me, and its always ending with my tears, blood, and sorrow. i have too much feelings, and i give it to coldest, selfish and unable to loving me women in my range.
I mean internet, i hadn`t much oportunity to meet a girl in my real life, because im working with male job, with only male crew. but that`s ok, i`ve always been better with writing then talking.
I`ve always been shy, i remember it, when i was a k**, i like to spending my time with myself and my strange plays. I think that`s because my parents doesn`t spending much time with me, i think they was too young , and too much focused on themselfs to see me, and my needs, thats why i wanted to be with my granny and spending my c***dhood with her.
i have a great c***dhood, i`ve always be free,and i was doing what i want to. (even playing with dolls and sometimes dressed with girly clothes). My problems started when i was going to grow up.
I had a big problem when i was discovered my bisexuality. i was shocked when i noticed that i like pretty boys as much as pretty girls, i felt freaky and weird.
My first expierience with girls was a catastrophy. i was shy, and not much talkactive, and realy not a cool guy type. so it was very hard. After few failed try, i was felt with depression and self hatered. After years i was lerned how to treat women but, my overszed feelings always messed it up.
So, finally, i`m looking for a nice guy to love, but i think it`s the just other side of the same medal. i`ll never have a love from man, or woman, because i`m not one of them..
i`m monster and i should die alone..
well i dont know what for i`m writing all of this today, i`m sorry. sometimes i must throw it from myself. and i want to wrote something about myself to people who care about me, i mean on this site. i know that`s unbelivable but i have few here.
maybe if i have a more time i`ll write something else.
Sad Pagan
10 years ago
